<h2><SPAN name="st5" class="c011">THE ALLIGATOR WAR</SPAN></h2>
<p>It was a very big river in a region of South
America that had never been visited by white
men; and in it lived many, many alligators—perhaps
a hundred, perhaps a thousand.
For dinner they ate fish, which they caught in
the stream, and for supper they ate deer and
other animals that came down to the water
side to drink. On hot afternoons in summer
they stretched out and sunned themselves on
the bank. But they liked nights when the
moon was shining best of all. Then they
swam out into the river and sported and
played, lashing the water to foam with their
tails, while the spray ran off their beautiful
skins in all the colors of the rainbow.</p>
<p>These alligators had lived quite happy
lives for a long, long time. But at last one
afternoon, when they were all sleeping on the
sand, snoring and snoring, one alligator woke
up and cocked his ears—the way alligators
cock their ears. He listened and listened,
and, to be sure, faintly, and from a great
distance, came a sound: <i>Chug!</i> <i>Chug!</i> <i>Chug!</i></p>
<p>“Hey!” the alligator called to the alligator
sleeping next to him, “Hey! Wake up!
Danger!”</p>
<p>“Danger of what?” asked the other, opening
his eyes sleepily, and getting up.</p>
<p>“I don’t know!” replied the first alligator.</p>
<p>“That’s a noise I never heard before. Listen!”</p>
<p>The other alligator listened: <i>Chug!</i> <i>Chug!</i>
<i>Chug!</i></p>
<p>In great alarm the two alligators went calling
up and down the river bank: “Danger!
Danger!” And all their sisters and brothers
and mothers and fathers and uncles and
aunts woke up and began running this way
and that with their tails curled up in the air.
But the excitement did not serve to calm their
fears. <i>Chug!</i> <i>Chug!</i> <i>Chug!</i> The noise was
growing louder every moment; and at last,
away off down the stream, they could see
something moving along the surface of the
river, leaving a trail of gray smoke behind it
and beating the water on either side to foam:
<i>Chush!</i> <i>Chush!</i> <i>Chush!</i></p>
<p>The alligators looked at each other in the
greatest astonishment: “What on earth is
that?”</p>
<p>But there was one old alligator, the wisest
and most experienced of them all. He was so
old that only two sound teeth were left in his
jaws—one in the upper jaw and one in the
lower jaw. Once, also, when he was a boy,
fond of adventure, he had made a trip down
the river all the way to the sea.</p>
<p>“I know what it is,” said he. “It’s a
whale. Whales are big fish, they shoot water
up through their noses, and it falls down on
them behind.”</p>
<p>At this news, the little alligators began to
scream at the top of their lungs, “It’s a whale!
It’s a whale! It’s a whale!” and they made for
the water intending to duck out of sight.</p>
<p>But the big alligator cuffed with his tail
a little alligator that was screaming nearby
with his mouth open wide. “Dry up!” said
he. “There’s nothing to be afraid of! I
know all about whales! Whales are the
afraidest people there are!” And the little
alligators stopped their noise.</p>
<p>But they grew frightened again a moment
afterwards. The gray smoke suddenly turned
to an inky black, and the <i>Chush!</i> <i>Chush!</i>
<i>Chush!</i> was now so loud that all the alligators
took to the water, with only their eyes and the
tips of their noses showing at the surface.</p>
<p><i>Cho-ash-h-h!</i> <i>Cho-ash-h-h!</i> <i>Cho-ash-h-h!</i>
The strange monster came rapidly up the
stream. The alligators saw it go crashing
past them, belching great clouds of smoke
from the middle of its back, and splashing
into the water heavily with the big revolving
things it had on either side.</p>
<p>It was a steamer, the first steamer that had
ever made its way up the Parana. <i>Chush!</i>
<i>Chush!</i> <i>Chush!</i> It seemed to be getting
further away again. <i>Chug!</i> <i>Chug!</i> <i>Chug!</i>
It had disappeared from view.</p>
<p>One by one, the alligators climbed up out
of the water onto the bank again. They were
all quite cross with the old alligator who had
told them wrongly that it was a whale.</p>
<p>“It was not a whale!” they shouted in his
ear—for he was rather hard of hearing. “Well,
what was it that just went by?”</p>
<p>The old alligator then explained that it was
a steamboat full of fire; and that the alligators
would all die if the boat continued to
go up and down the river.</p>
<p>The other alligators only laughed, however.
Why would the alligators die if the
boat kept going up and down the river? It
had passed by without so much as speaking
to them! That old alligator didn’t really
know so much as he pretended to! And since
they were very hungry they all went fishing in
the stream. But alas! There was not a fish
to be found! The steamboat had frightened
every single one of them away.</p>
<p>“Well, what did I tell you?” said the old
alligator. “You see: we haven’t anything
left to eat! All the fish have been frightened
away! However—let’s just wait till tomorrow.
Perhaps the boat won’t come back
again. In that case, the fish will get over
their fright and come back so that we can eat
them.” But the next day, the steamboat
came crashing by again on its way back
down the river, spouting black smoke as it
had done before, and setting the whole river
boiling with its paddle wheels.</p>
<p>“Well!” exclaimed the alligators. “What
do you think of that? The boat came yesterday.
The boat came today. The boat will
come tomorrow. The fish will stay away;
and nothing will come down here at night to
drink. We are done for!”</p>
<p>But an idea occurred to one of the brighter
alligators: “Let’s dam the river!” he proposed.
“The steamboat won’t be able to
climb a dam!”</p>
<p>“That’s the talk! That’s the talk! A dam!
A dam! Let’s build a dam!” And the alligators
all made for the shore as fast as they could.</p>
<p>They went up into the woods along the
bank and began to cut down trees of the
hardest wood they could find—walnut and
mahogany, mostly. They felled more than
ten thousand of them altogether, sawing the
trunks through with the kind of saw that
alligators have on the tops of their tails.
They dragged the trees down into the water
and stood them up about a yard apart, all
the way across the river, driving the pointed
ends deep into the mud and weaving the
branches together. No steamboat, big or
little, would ever be able to pass that dam!
No one would frighten the fish away again!
They would have a good dinner the following
day and every day! And since it was late at
night by the time the dam was done, they
all fell sound asleep on the river bank.</p>
<p><i>Chug!</i> <i>Chug!</i> <i>Chug!</i> <i>Chush!</i> <i>Chush!</i> <i>Chush!</i>
<i>Cho-ash-h-h-h!</i> <i>Cho-ash-h-h-h!</i> <i>Cho-ash-h-h-h!</i></p>
<p>They were still asleep, the next day, when
the boat came up; but the alligators barely
opened their eyes and then tried to go to
sleep again. What did they care about the
boat? It could make all the noise it wanted,
but it would never get by the dam!</p>
<p>And that is what happened. Soon the
noise from the boat stopped. The men who
were steering on the bridge took out their
spy-glasses and began to study the strange
obstruction that had been thrown up across
the river. Finally a small boat was sent to
look into it more closely. Only then did the
alligators get up from where they were sleeping,
run down into the water, and swim out
behind the dam, where they lay floating and
looking downstream between the piles. They
could not help laughing, nevertheless, at the
joke they had played on the steamboat!</p>
<p>The small boat came up, and the men in it
saw how the alligators had made a dam across
the river. They went back to the steamer,
but soon after, came rowing up toward the
dam again.</p>
<p>“Hey, you, alligators!”</p>
<p>“What can we do for you?” answered the
alligators, sticking their heads through between
the piles in the dam.</p>
<p>“That dam is in our way!” said the
men.</p>
<p>“Tell us something we don’t know!” answered
the alligators.</p>
<p>“But we can’t get by!”</p>
<p>“I’ll say so!”</p>
<p>“Well, take the old thing out of the way!”</p>
<p>“Nosireesir!”</p>
<p>The men in the boat talked it over for a
while and then they called:</p>
<p>“Alligators!”</p>
<p>“What can we do for you?”</p>
<p>“Will you take the dam away?”</p>
<p>“No!”</p>
<p>“No?”</p>
<p>“No!”</p>
<p>“Very well! See you later!”</p>
<p>“The later the better,” said the alligators.</p>
<p>The rowboat went back to the steamer,
while the alligators, as happy as could be,
clapped their tails as loud as they could on
the water. No boat could ever get by that
dam, and drive the fish away again!</p>
<p>But the next day the steamboat returned;
and when the alligators looked at it, they
could not say a word from their surprise:
it was not the same boat at all, but a larger
one, painted gray like a mouse! How many
steamboats were there, anyway? And this
one probably would want to pass the dam!
Well, just let it try! No, sir! No steamboat,
little or big, would ever get through that dam!</p>
<p>“They shall not pass!” said the alligators,
each taking up his station behind the piles in
the dam.</p>
<p>The new boat, like the other one, stopped
some distance below the dam; and again a
little boat came rowing toward them. This
time there were eight sailors in it, with one
officer. The officer shouted:</p>
<p>“Hey, you, alligators!”</p>
<p>“What’s the matter?” answered the alligators.</p>
<p>“Going to get that dam out of there?”</p>
<p>“No!”</p>
<p>“No?”</p>
<p>“No!”</p>
<p>“Very well!” said the officer. “In that
case, we shall have to shoot it down!”</p>
<p>“Shoot it up if you want to!” said the
alligators.</p>
<p>And the boat returned to the steamer.</p>
<p>But now, this mouse-gray steamboat was
not an ordinary steamboat: it was a warship,
with armor plate and terribly powerful guns.
The old alligator who had made the trip to
the river mouth suddenly remembered, and
just in time to shout to the other alligators:
“Duck for your lives! Duck! She’s going
to shoot! Keep down deep under water.”</p>
<p>The alligators dived all at the same time,
and headed for the shore, where they halted,
keeping all their bodies out of sight except for
their noses and their eyes. A great cloud of
flame and smoke burst from the vessel’s side,
followed by a deafening report. An immense
solid shot hurtled through the air and struck
the dam exactly in the middle. Two or three
tree trunks were cut away into splinters and
drifted off downstream. Another shot, a
third, and finally a fourth, each tearing a
great hole in the dam. Finally the piles were
entirely destroyed; not a tree, not a splinter,
not a piece of bark, was left; and the alligators,
still sitting with their eyes and noses
just out of water, saw the warship come steaming
by and blowing its whistle in derision at
them.</p>
<p>Then the alligators came out on the bank
and held a council of war. “Our dam was not
strong enough,” said they; “we must make
a new and much thicker one.”</p>
<p>So they worked again all that afternoon
and night, cutting down the very biggest trees
they could find, and making a much better
dam than they had built before. When the
gunboat appeared the next day, they were
sleeping soundly and had to hurry to get
behind the piles of the dam by the time the
rowboat arrived there.</p>
<p>“Hey, alligators!” called the same officer.</p>
<p>“See who’s here again!” said the alligators,
jeeringly.</p>
<p>“Get that new dam out of there!”</p>
<p>“Never in the world!”</p>
<p>“Well, we’ll blow it up, the way we did the
other!”</p>
<p>“Blaze away, and good luck to you!”</p>
<p>You see, the alligators talked so big because
they were sure the dam they had made this
time would hold up against the most terrible
cannon balls in the world. And the sailors
must have thought so, too; for after they had
fired the first shot a tremendous explosion
occurred in the dam. The gunboat was
using shells, which burst among the timbers
of the dam and broke the thickest trees into
tiny, tiny bits. A second shell exploded right
near the first, and a third near the second.
So the shots went all along the dam, each
tearing away a long strip of it till nothing,
nothing, nothing was left. Again the warship
came steaming by, closer in toward shore on
this occasion, so that the sailors could make
fun of the alligators by putting their hands to
their mouths and holloing.</p>
<p>“So that’s it!” said the alligators, climbing
up out of the water. “We must all die,
because the steamboats will keep coming and
going, up and down, and leaving us not a
fish in the world to eat!”</p>
<p>The littlest alligators were already whimpering;
for they had had no dinner for three days;
and it was a crowd of very sad alligators that
gathered on the river shore to hear what the
old alligator now had to say.</p>
<p>“We have only one hope left,” he began.
“We must go and see the Sturgeon! When
I was a boy, I took that trip down to the sea
along with him. He liked the salt water
better than I did, and went quite a way out
into the ocean. There he saw a sea fight between
two of these boats; and he brought
home a torpedo that had failed to explode.
Suppose we go and ask him to give it to us.
It is true the Sturgeon has never liked us
alligators; but I got along with him pretty
well myself. He is a good fellow, at bottom,
and surely he will not want to see us all
starve!”</p>
<p>The fact was that some years before an
alligator had eaten one of the Sturgeon’s
favorite grandchildren; and for that reason
the Sturgeon had refused ever since to call on
the alligators or receive visits from them.
Nevertheless, the alligators now trouped off
in a body to the big cave under the bank of the
river where they knew the Sturgeon stayed,
with his torpedo beside him. There are
sturgeons as much as six feet long, you know,
and this one with the torpedo was of that kind.</p>
<p>“Mr. Sturgeon! Mr. Sturgeon!” called
the alligators at the entrance of the cave.
No one of them dared go in, you see, on
account of that matter of the sturgeon’s
grandchild.</p>
<p>“Who is it?” answered the Sturgeon.</p>
<p>“We’re the alligators,” the latter replied
in a chorus.</p>
<p>“I have nothing to do with alligators,”
grumbled the Sturgeon crossly.</p>
<p>But now the old alligator with the two
teeth stepped forward and said:</p>
<p>“Why, hello, Sturgy. Don’t you remember
Ally, your old friend that took that trip down
the river, when we were boys?”</p>
<p>“Well, well! Where have you been keeping
yourself all these years,” said the Sturgeon,
surprised and pleased to hear his old friend’s
voice. “Sorry I didn’t know it was you!
How goes it? What can I do for you?”</p>
<p>“We’ve come to ask you for that torpedo
you found, remember? You see, there’s a
warship keeps coming up and down our
river scaring all the fish away. She’s a
whopper, I’ll tell you, armor plate, guns, the
whole thing! We made one dam and she
knocked it down. We made another and she
blew it up. The fish have all gone away and
we haven’t had a bite to eat in near onto a
week. Now you give us your torpedo and
we’ll do the rest!”</p>
<p>The Sturgeon sat thinking for a long time,
scratching his chin with one of his fins. At
last he answered:</p>
<p>“As for the torpedo, all right! You can
have it in spite of what you did to my eldest
son’s first-born. But there’s one trouble:
who knows how to work the thing?”</p>
<p>The alligators were all silent. Not one of
them had ever seen a torpedo.</p>
<p>“Well,” said the Sturgeon, proudly, “I
can see I’ll have to go with you myself. I’ve
lived next to that torpedo a long time. I
know all about torpedoes.”</p>
<p>The first task was to bring the torpedo
down to the dam. The alligators got into
line, the one behind taking in his mouth the
tail of the one in front. When the line was
formed it was fully a quarter of a mile long.
The Sturgeon pushed the torpedo out into
the current, and got under it so as to hold it
up near the top of the water on his back.
Then he took the tail of the last alligator in
his teeth, and gave the signal to go ahead.
The Sturgeon kept the torpedo afloat, while
the alligators towed him along. In this way
they went so fast that a wide wake followed
on after the torpedo; and by the next morning
they were back at the place where the dam
was made.</p>
<p>As the little alligators who had stayed at
home reported, the warship had already gone
by upstream. But this pleased the others
all the more. Now they would build a new
dam, stronger than ever before, and catch
the steamer in a trap, so that it would never
get home again.</p>
<p>They worked all that day and all the next
night, making a thick, almost solid dike,
with barely enough room between the piles
for the alligators to stick their heads through.
They had just finished when the gunboat
came into view.</p>
<p>Again the rowboat approached with the
eight men and their officer. The alligators
crowded behind the dam in great excitement,
moving their paws to hold their own with the
current; for this time, they were downstream.</p>
<p>“Hey, alligators!” called the officer.</p>
<p>“Well?” answered the alligators.</p>
<p>“Still another dam?”</p>
<p>“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try,
again!”</p>
<p>“Get that dam out of there!”</p>
<p>“No, sir!”</p>
<p>“You won’t?”</p>
<p>“We won’t!”</p>
<p>“Very well! Now you alligators just listen!
If you won’t be reasonable, we are going to
knock this dam down, too. But to save you
the trouble of building a fourth, we are going
to shoot every blessed alligator around here.
Yes, every single last alligator, women and
children, big ones, little ones, fat ones, lean
ones, and even that old codger sitting there
with only two teeth left in his jaws!”</p>
<p>The old alligator understood that the officer
was trying to insult him with that reference
to his two teeth, and he answered:</p>
<p>“Young man, what you say is true. I
have only two teeth left, not counting one or
two others that are broken off. But do you
know what those two teeth are going to eat for
dinner?” As he said this the old alligator
opened his mouth wide, wide, wide.</p>
<p>“Well, what are they going to eat?” asked
one of the sailors.</p>
<p>“A little dude of a naval officer I see in a
boat over there!”—and the old alligator dived
under water and disappeared from view.</p>
<p>Meantime the Sturgeon had brought the
torpedo to the very center of the dam, where
four alligators were holding it fast to the
river bottom waiting for orders to bring it
up to the top of the water. The other alligators
had gathered along the shore, with
their noses and eyes alone in sight as usual.</p>
<p>The rowboat went back to the ship. When
he saw the men climbing aboard, the Sturgeon
went down to his torpedo.</p>
<p>Suddenly there was a loud detonation.
The warship had begun firing, and the first
shell struck and exploded in the middle of
the dam. A great gap opened in it.</p>
<p>“Now! Now!” called the Sturgeon sharply,
on seeing that there was room for the torpedo
to go through. “Let her go! Let her go!”</p>
<p>As the torpedo came to the surface, the
Sturgeon steered it to the opening in the dam,
took aim hurriedly with one eye closed, and
pulled at the trigger of the torpedo with his
teeth. The propeller of the torpedo began to
revolve, and it started off upstream toward
the gunboat.</p>
<p>And it was high time. At that instant a
second shot exploded in the dam, tearing
away another large section.</p>
<p>From the wake the torpedo left behind it in
the water the men on the vessel saw the danger
they were in, but it was too late to do anything
about it. The torpedo struck the ship in the
middle, and went off.</p>
<p>You can never guess the terrible noise that
torpedo made. It blew the warship into
fifteen thousand million pieces, tossing guns,
and smokestacks, and shells and rowboats—everything,
hundreds and hundreds of yards
away.</p>
<p>The alligators all screamed with triumph
and made as fast as they could for the dam.
Down through the opening bits of wood came
floating, with a number of sailors swimming
as hard as they could for the shore. As the
men passed through, the alligators put their
paws to their mouths and holloed, as the
men had done to them three days before.
They decided not to eat a single one of the
sailors, though some of them deserved it
without a doubt. Except that when a man
dressed in a blue uniform with gold braid
came by, the old alligator jumped into the
water off the dam, and snap! snap! ate him in
two mouthfuls.</p>
<p>“Who was that man?” asked an ignorant
young alligator, who never learned his lessons
in school and never knew what was
going on.</p>
<p>“It’s the officer of the boat,” answered the
Sturgeon. “My old friend, Ally, said he
was going to eat him, and eaten him he
has!”</p>
<p>The alligators tore down the rest of the
dam, because they knew that no boats would
be coming by that way again.</p>
<p>The Sturgeon, who had quite fallen in love
with the gold lace of the officer, asked that it
be given him in payment for the use of his
torpedo. The alligators said he might have
it for the trouble of picking it out of the old
alligator’s mouth, where it had caught on the
two teeth. They gave him also the officer’s
belt and sword. The Sturgeon put the belt
on just behind his front fins, and buckled
the sword to it. Thus togged out, he swam
up and down for more than an hour in front of
the assembled alligators, who admired his
beautiful spotted skin as something almost
as pretty as the coral snake’s, and who opened
their mouths wide at the splendor of his
uniform. Finally they escorted him in honor
back to his cave under the river bank,
thanking him over and over again, and giving him
three cheers as they went off.</p>
<p>When they returned to their usual place
they found the fish had already returned. The
next day another steamboat came by; but the
alligators did not care, because the fish were
getting used to it by this time and seemed
not to be afraid. Since then the boats have
been going back and forth all the time, carrying
oranges. And the alligators open their
eyes when they hear the <i>chug! chug! chug!</i> of
a steamboat and laugh at the thought of how
scared they were the first time, and of how
they sank the warship.</p>
<p>But no warship has ever gone up the river
since the old alligator ate the officer.</p>
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