<h2><SPAN name="link2H_4_0008" id="link2H_4_0008"></SPAN> Book the Second—the Golden Thread </h2>
<h2><SPAN name="link2H_4_0009" id="link2H_4_0009"></SPAN> CHAPTER I.<br/>Five Years Later </h2>
<p class="pfirst"><span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">T</span>ellson’s Bank by Temple Bar was an old-fashioned place, even in the year
one thousand seven hundred and eighty. It was very small, very dark, very
ugly, very incommodious. It was an old-fashioned place, moreover, in the
moral attribute that the partners in the House were proud of its
smallness, proud of its darkness, proud of its ugliness, proud of its
incommodiousness. They were even boastful of its eminence in those
particulars, and were fired by an express conviction that, if it were less
objectionable, it would be less respectable. This was no passive belief,
but an active weapon which they flashed at more convenient places of
business. Tellson’s (they said) wanted no elbow-room, Tellson’s wanted no
light, Tellson’s wanted no embellishment. Noakes and Co.’s might, or
Snooks Brothers’ might; but Tellson’s, thank Heaven—!</p>
<p>Any one of these partners would have disinherited his son on the question
of rebuilding Tellson’s. In this respect the House was much on a par with
the Country; which did very often disinherit its sons for suggesting
improvements in laws and customs that had long been highly objectionable,
but were only the more respectable.</p>
<p>Thus it had come to pass, that Tellson’s was the triumphant perfection of
inconvenience. After bursting open a door of idiotic obstinacy with a weak
rattle in its throat, you fell into Tellson’s down two steps, and came to
your senses in a miserable little shop, with two little counters, where
the oldest of men made your cheque shake as if the wind rustled it, while
they examined the signature by the dingiest of windows, which were always
under a shower-bath of mud from Fleet-street, and which were made the
dingier by their own iron bars proper, and the heavy shadow of Temple Bar.
If your business necessitated your seeing “the House,” you were put into a
species of Condemned Hold at the back, where you meditated on a misspent
life, until the House came with its hands in its pockets, and you could
hardly blink at it in the dismal twilight. Your money came out of, or went
into, wormy old wooden drawers, particles of which flew up your nose and
down your throat when they were opened and shut. Your bank-notes had a
musty odour, as if they were fast decomposing into rags again. Your plate
was stowed away among the neighbouring cesspools, and evil communications
corrupted its good polish in a day or two. Your deeds got into
extemporised strong-rooms made of kitchens and sculleries, and fretted all
the fat out of their parchments into the banking-house air. Your lighter
boxes of family papers went up-stairs into a Barmecide room, that always
had a great dining-table in it and never had a dinner, and where, even in
the year one thousand seven hundred and eighty, the first letters written
to you by your old love, or by your little children, were but newly
released from the horror of being ogled through the windows, by the heads
exposed on Temple Bar with an insensate brutality and ferocity worthy of
Abyssinia or Ashantee.</p>
<p>But indeed, at that time, putting to death was a recipe much in vogue with
all trades and professions, and not least of all with Tellson’s. Death is
Nature’s remedy for all things, and why not Legislation’s? Accordingly,
the forger was put to Death; the utterer of a bad note was put to Death;
the unlawful opener of a letter was put to Death; the purloiner of forty
shillings and sixpence was put to Death; the holder of a horse at
Tellson’s door, who made off with it, was put to Death; the coiner of a
bad shilling was put to Death; the sounders of three-fourths of the notes
in the whole gamut of Crime, were put to Death. Not that it did the least
good in the way of prevention—it might almost have been worth
remarking that the fact was exactly the reverse—but, it cleared off
(as to this world) the trouble of each particular case, and left nothing
else connected with it to be looked after. Thus, Tellson’s, in its day,
like greater places of business, its contemporaries, had taken so many
lives, that, if the heads laid low before it had been ranged on Temple Bar
instead of being privately disposed of, they would probably have excluded
what little light the ground floor had, in a rather significant manner.</p>
<p>Cramped in all kinds of dim cupboards and hutches at Tellson’s, the oldest
of men carried on the business gravely. When they took a young man into
Tellson’s London house, they hid him somewhere till he was old. They kept
him in a dark place, like a cheese, until he had the full Tellson flavour
and blue-mould upon him. Then only was he permitted to be seen,
spectacularly poring over large books, and casting his breeches and
gaiters into the general weight of the establishment.</p>
<p>Outside Tellson’s—never by any means in it, unless called in—was
an odd-job-man, an occasional porter and messenger, who served as the live
sign of the house. He was never absent during business hours, unless upon
an errand, and then he was represented by his son: a grisly urchin of
twelve, who was his express image. People understood that Tellson’s, in a
stately way, tolerated the odd-job-man. The house had always tolerated
some person in that capacity, and time and tide had drifted this person to
the post. His surname was Cruncher, and on the youthful occasion of his
renouncing by proxy the works of darkness, in the easterly parish church
of Hounsditch, he had received the added appellation of Jerry.</p>
<p>The scene was Mr. Cruncher’s private lodging in Hanging-sword-alley,
Whitefriars: the time, half-past seven of the clock on a windy March
morning, Anno Domini seventeen hundred and eighty. (Mr. Cruncher himself
always spoke of the year of our Lord as Anna Dominoes: apparently under
the impression that the Christian era dated from the invention of a
popular game, by a lady who had bestowed her name upon it.)</p>
<p>Mr. Cruncher’s apartments were not in a savoury neighbourhood, and were
but two in number, even if a closet with a single pane of glass in it
might be counted as one. But they were very decently kept. Early as it
was, on the windy March morning, the room in which he lay abed was already
scrubbed throughout; and between the cups and saucers arranged for
breakfast, and the lumbering deal table, a very clean white cloth was
spread.</p>
<p>Mr. Cruncher reposed under a patchwork counterpane, like a Harlequin at
home. At first, he slept heavily, but, by degrees, began to roll and surge
in bed, until he rose above the surface, with his spiky hair looking as if
it must tear the sheets to ribbons. At which juncture, he exclaimed, in a
voice of dire exasperation:</p>
<p>“Bust me, if she ain’t at it agin!”</p>
<p>A woman of orderly and industrious appearance rose from her knees in a
corner, with sufficient haste and trepidation to show that she was the
person referred to.</p>
<p>“What!” said Mr. Cruncher, looking out of bed for a boot. “You’re at it
agin, are you?”</p>
<p>After hailing the morn with this second salutation, he threw a boot at the
woman as a third. It was a very muddy boot, and may introduce the odd
circumstance connected with Mr. Cruncher’s domestic economy, that, whereas
he often came home after banking hours with clean boots, he often got up
next morning to find the same boots covered with clay.</p>
<p>“What,” said Mr. Cruncher, varying his apostrophe after missing his mark—“what
are you up to, Aggerawayter?”</p>
<p>“I was only saying my prayers.”</p>
<p>“Saying your prayers! You’re a nice woman! What do you mean by flopping
yourself down and praying agin me?”</p>
<p>“I was not praying against you; I was praying for you.”</p>
<p>“You weren’t. And if you were, I won’t be took the liberty with. Here!
your mother’s a nice woman, young Jerry, going a praying agin your
father’s prosperity. You’ve got a dutiful mother, you have, my son. You’ve
got a religious mother, you have, my boy: going and flopping herself down,
and praying that the bread-and-butter may be snatched out of the mouth of
her only child.”</p>
<p>Master Cruncher (who was in his shirt) took this very ill, and, turning to
his mother, strongly deprecated any praying away of his personal board.</p>
<p>“And what do you suppose, you conceited female,” said Mr. Cruncher, with
unconscious inconsistency, “that the worth of <i>your</i> prayers may be?
Name the price that you put <i>your</i> prayers at!”</p>
<p>“They only come from the heart, Jerry. They are worth no more than that.”</p>
<p>“Worth no more than that,” repeated Mr. Cruncher. “They ain’t worth much,
then. Whether or no, I won’t be prayed agin, I tell you. I can’t afford
it. I’m not a going to be made unlucky by <i>your</i> sneaking. If you
must go flopping yourself down, flop in favour of your husband and child,
and not in opposition to ’em. If I had had any but a unnat’ral wife, and
this poor boy had had any but a unnat’ral mother, I might have made some
money last week instead of being counter-prayed and countermined and
religiously circumwented into the worst of luck. B-u-u-ust me!” said Mr.
Cruncher, who all this time had been putting on his clothes, “if I ain’t,
what with piety and one blowed thing and another, been choused this last
week into as bad luck as ever a poor devil of a honest tradesman met with!
Young Jerry, dress yourself, my boy, and while I clean my boots keep a eye
upon your mother now and then, and if you see any signs of more flopping,
give me a call. For, I tell you,” here he addressed his wife once more, “I
won’t be gone agin, in this manner. I am as rickety as a hackney-coach,
I’m as sleepy as laudanum, my lines is strained to that degree that I
shouldn’t know, if it wasn’t for the pain in ’em, which was me and which
somebody else, yet I’m none the better for it in pocket; and it’s my
suspicion that you’ve been at it from morning to night to prevent me from
being the better for it in pocket, and I won’t put up with it,
Aggerawayter, and what do you say now!”</p>
<p>Growling, in addition, such phrases as “Ah! yes! You’re religious, too.
You wouldn’t put yourself in opposition to the interests of your husband
and child, would you? Not you!” and throwing off other sarcastic sparks
from the whirling grindstone of his indignation, Mr. Cruncher betook
himself to his boot-cleaning and his general preparation for business. In
the meantime, his son, whose head was garnished with tenderer spikes, and
whose young eyes stood close by one another, as his father’s did, kept the
required watch upon his mother. He greatly disturbed that poor woman at
intervals, by darting out of his sleeping closet, where he made his
toilet, with a suppressed cry of “You are going to flop, mother. —Halloa,
father!” and, after raising this fictitious alarm, darting in again with
an undutiful grin.</p>
<p>Mr. Cruncher’s temper was not at all improved when he came to his
breakfast. He resented Mrs. Cruncher’s saying grace with particular
animosity.</p>
<p>“Now, Aggerawayter! What are you up to? At it again?”</p>
<p>His wife explained that she had merely “asked a blessing.”</p>
<p>“Don’t do it!” said Mr. Crunches looking about, as if he rather expected
to see the loaf disappear under the efficacy of his wife’s petitions. “I
ain’t a going to be blest out of house and home. I won’t have my wittles
blest off my table. Keep still!”</p>
<p>Exceedingly red-eyed and grim, as if he had been up all night at a party
which had taken anything but a convivial turn, Jerry Cruncher worried his
breakfast rather than ate it, growling over it like any four-footed inmate
of a menagerie. Towards nine o’clock he smoothed his ruffled aspect, and,
presenting as respectable and business-like an exterior as he could
overlay his natural self with, issued forth to the occupation of the day.</p>
<p>It could scarcely be called a trade, in spite of his favourite description
of himself as “a honest tradesman.” His stock consisted of a wooden stool,
made out of a broken-backed chair cut down, which stool, young Jerry,
walking at his father’s side, carried every morning to beneath the
banking-house window that was nearest Temple Bar: where, with the addition
of the first handful of straw that could be gleaned from any passing
vehicle to keep the cold and wet from the odd-job-man’s feet, it formed
the encampment for the day. On this post of his, Mr. Cruncher was as well
known to Fleet-street and the Temple, as the Bar itself,—and was
almost as in-looking.</p>
<p>Encamped at a quarter before nine, in good time to touch his
three-cornered hat to the oldest of men as they passed in to Tellson’s,
Jerry took up his station on this windy March morning, with young Jerry
standing by him, when not engaged in making forays through the Bar, to
inflict bodily and mental injuries of an acute description on passing boys
who were small enough for his amiable purpose. Father and son, extremely
like each other, looking silently on at the morning traffic in
Fleet-street, with their two heads as near to one another as the two eyes
of each were, bore a considerable resemblance to a pair of monkeys. The
resemblance was not lessened by the accidental circumstance, that the
mature Jerry bit and spat out straw, while the twinkling eyes of the
youthful Jerry were as restlessly watchful of him as of everything else in
Fleet-street.</p>
<p>The head of one of the regular indoor messengers attached to Tellson’s
establishment was put through the door, and the word was given:</p>
<p>“Porter wanted!”</p>
<p>“Hooray, father! Here’s an early job to begin with!”</p>
<p>Having thus given his parent God speed, young Jerry seated himself on the
stool, entered on his reversionary interest in the straw his father had
been chewing, and cogitated.</p>
<p>“Al-ways rusty! His fingers is al-ways rusty!” muttered young Jerry.
“Where does my father get all that iron rust from? He don’t get no iron
rust here!”</p>
<div style="break-after:column;"></div><br />