<SPAN name="VADEMECUM_PART_I_CHAPTER_VI"id="VADEMECUM_PART_I_CHAPTER_VI"></SPAN>
<h2>CHAPTER VI</h2>
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<p><i>Of the happy state of matrimony, as it is appointed by God,
the true felicity that rebounds thereby to either sex; and to what
end it is ordained.</i></p>
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<p>Without doubt the uniting of hearts in holy wedlock is of all
conditions the happiest; for then a man has a second self to whom
he can reveal his thoughts, as well as a sweet companion in his
labours, toils, trials, and difficulties. He has one in whose
breast, as in a safe cabinet, he can confide his inmost secrets,
especially where reciprocal love and inviolable faith is centred;
for there no care, fear, jealousy, mistrust or hatred can ever
interpose. For base is the man that hateth his own flesh! And truly
a wife, if rightly considered, as Adam <!-- Page 45 --> well observed, is or</p>
<div class='poem'>
<div class='stanza'><span>"I take not that to be my dowry,
which<br/></span> <span>The vulgar sort do wealth and honour
call;<br/></span> <span>That all my wishes terminate in
this:——<br/></span> <span>I'll obey my husband and be
chaste withall;<br/></span> <span>To have God's fear, and beauty
in my mind,<br/></span> <span>To do those good who are virtuously
inclined."<br/></span></div>
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ought to be esteemed of every honest man as "Bone of his bone and
flesh of his flesh," etc. Nor was it the least care of the Almighty
to ordain so near a union, and that for two causes; the first, for
the increase of posterity; the second, to restrain man's wandering
desires and affections; nay, that they might be yet happier, when
God has joined them together, he "blessed them," as in Gen. ii. An
ancient writer, contemplating this happy state, says, in the
economy of Xenophon, "that the marriage bed is not only the most
pleasant, but also profitable course of life, that may be entered
on for the preservation and increase of posterity. Wherefore, since
marriage is the most safe, and delightful situation of man he does
in no ways provide amiss for his own tranquillity who enters into
it, especially when he comes to maturity of years."<br/>
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<p>There are many abuses in marriage contrary to what is ordained,
the which in the ensuing chapter I shall expose to view. But to
proceed: Seeing our blessed Saviour and His holy apostles detested
unlawful lusts, and pronounced those to be excluded the kingdom of
heaven that polluted themselves with adultery and whoring, I cannot
conceive what face people have to colour their impieties, who
hating matrimony, make it their study how they may
<!-- Page 46 --> live
licentiously: for, in so doing, they take in themselves torment,
enmity, disquietude, rather than certain pleasure, not to mention
the hazard of their immortal soul; and certain it is that mercenary
love (or as the wise man called it harlot-smiles) cannot be true
and sincere and therefore not pleasant, but rather a net laid to
betray such as trust in them with all mischief, as Solomon observes
of the young man void of understanding, who turned aside to the
harlot's house, "as a bird to the snare of the fowler, or as an ox
to the slaughter, till a dart was struck through his liver." Nor in
this case can they have children, those endearing pledges of
conjugal affection; or if they have, they will rather redound to
their shame than comfort, bearing the odious brand of bastards.
Harlots, likewise are like swallows, flying in the summer season of
prosperity; but the black stormy weather of adversity coming, they
take wing and fly into other regions—that is, seek other
lovers; but a virtuous, chaste wife, fixing her entire love upon
her husband, and submitting to him as her head and king, by whose
directions she ought to steer in all lawful courses, will, like a
faithful companion, share patiently with him in all adversities,
run with cheerfulness through all difficulties and dangers, though
ever so hazardous, to preserve and assist him, in poverty,
<!-- Page 47 --> sickness, or
whatsoever misfortunes befall him, acting according to her duty in
all things; but a proud, imperious harlot will do no more than she
lists, in the sunshine of prosperity; and like a horse-leech, ever
craving, and never satisfied; still seeming displeased, if all her
extravagant cravings be not answered; not regarding the ruin and
misery she brings on him by those means, though she seems to doat
upon him, used to confirming her hypocrisy with crocodile tears,
vows and swoonings, when her cully has to depart awhile, or seems
but to deny immediate desires; yet this lasts no longer than she
can gratify her appetite, and prey upon his fortune.</p>
<p>Now, on the contrary, a loving, chaste and even-tempered wife,
seeks what she may to prevent such dangers, and in every condition
does all she can to make him easy. And, in a word, as there is no
content in the embraces of a harlot, so there is no greater joy in
the reciprocal affection and endearing embraces of a loving,
obedient, and chaste wife. Nor is that the principal end for which
matrimony was ordained, but that the man might follow the law of
his creation by increasing his kind and replenishing the earth; for
this was the injunction laid upon him in Paradise, before his fall.
To conclude, a virtuous wife is a crown and
<!-- Page 48 --> ornament to her
husband, and her price is above all rubies: but the ways of a
harlot are deceitful.</p>
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