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<h2> Chapter V. FROM THE TREE OF LOVE </h2>
<p>There is hardly any use trying to describe what followed. Anne Brown began
to cry, and talk about the children. (She went to Europe once and stayed
until they all got over the whooping cough.) And Dallas said he had a
pull, because his mill controlled I forget how many votes, and the thing
to do was to be quiet and comfortable and we would get out in the morning.
Max took it as a huge joke, and somebody found him at the telephone,
calling up his club. The Mercer girls were hysterically giggling, and Aunt
Selina sat on a stiff-backed chair and took aromatic spirits of ammonia.
As for Jim, he had collapsed on the lowest step of the stairs, and sat
there with his head in his hands. When he did look up, he didn’t dare to
look at me.</p>
<p>The Harbison man was arguing with the impassive individual on the top step
outside, and I saw him get out his pocketbook and offer a crisp bundle of
bills. But the man from the board of health only smiled and tacked at his
offensive sign. After a while Mr. Harbison came in and closed the door,
and we stared at one another.</p>
<p>“I know what I’m going to do,” I said, swallowing a lump in my throat.
“I’m going to get out through a basement window at the back. I’m going
home.”</p>
<p>“Home!” Aunt Selina gasped, jumping up and almost dropping her ammonia
bottle. “My dear Bella! Home?”</p>
<p>Jimmy groaned at the foot of the stairs, but Anne Brown was getting over
her tears and now she turned on me in a temper.</p>
<p>“It’s all your fault,” she said. “I was going to stay at home and get a
little sleep—”</p>
<p>“Well, you can sleep now,” Dallas broke in. “There’ll be nothing to do but
sleep.”</p>
<p>“I think you haven’t grasped the situation, Dal,” I said icily. “There
will be plenty to do. There isn’t a servant in the house!”</p>
<p>“No servants!” everybody cried at once. The Mercer girls stopped giggling.</p>
<p>“Holy cats!” Max stopped in the act of hanging up his overcoat. “Do you
mean—why, I can’t shave myself! I’ll cut my head off.”</p>
<p>“You’ll do more than that,” I retorted grimly. “You will carry coal and
tend fires and empty ash pans, and when you are not doing any of those
things there will be pots and pans to wash and beds to make.”</p>
<p>Then there WAS a row. We had worked back to the den now, and I stood in
front of the fireplace and let the storm beat around me, and tried to look
perfectly cold and indifferent, and not to see Mr. Harbison’s shocked
face. No wonder he thought them a lot of savages, browbeating their
hostess the way they did.</p>
<p>“It’s a fool thing anyhow,” Max Reed wound up, “to celebrate the
anniversary of a divorce—especially—” Here he caught Jim’s eye
and stopped. But I had suddenly remembered. BELLA DOWN IN THE BASEMENT!</p>
<p>Could anything have been worse? And of course she would have hysteria and
then turn on me and blame me for it all. It all came over me at once and
overwhelmed me, while Anne was crying and saying she wouldn’t cook if she
starved for it, and Aunt Selina was taking off her wraps. I felt queer all
over, and I sat down suddenly. Mr. Harbison was looking at me, and he
brought me a glass of wine.</p>
<p>“It won’t be so bad as you fear,” he said comfortingly. “There will be no
danger once we are vaccinated, and many hands make light work. They are
pretty raw now, because the thing is new to them, but by morning they will
be reconciled.”</p>
<p>“It isn’t the work; it is something entirely different,” I said. And it
was. Bella and work could hardly be spoken in the same breath.</p>
<p>If I had only turned her out as she deserved to be, when she first came,
instead of allowing her to carry through the wretched farce about seeing
Takahiro! Or if I had only run to the basement the moment the house was
quarantined, and got her out the areaway or the coal hole! And now time
was flying, and Aunt Selina had me by the arm, and any moment I expected
Bella to pounce on us through the doorway and the whole situation to
explode with a bang.</p>
<p>It was after eleven before they were rational enough to discuss ways and
means, and, of course, the first thing suggested was that we all adjourn
below stairs and clean up after dinner. I could have slain Max Reed for
the notion, and the Mercer girls for taking him up.</p>
<p>“Of course we will,” they said in a duet. “What a lark!” And they actually
began to pin up their dinner gowns. It was Jim who stopped that.</p>
<p>“Oh, look here, you people,” he objected, “I’m not going to let you do
that. We’ll get some servants in tomorrow. I’ll go down and put out the
lights. There will be enough clean dishes for breakfast.”</p>
<p>It was lucky for me that they started a new discussion then and there
about who would get the breakfast. In the midst of the excitement I
slipped away to carry the news to Bella. She was where I had left her, and
she had made herself a cup of tea, and was very much at home, which was
natural.</p>
<p>“Do you know,” she said ominously, “that you have been away for two hours;
and that I have gone through agonies of nervousness for fear Jim Wilson
would come down and think I came here to see him?”</p>
<p>“No one would think that, Bella,” I soothed her. “Everybody knows you
loathe him—Jim, too.” She looked at me over the edge of her cup.</p>
<p>“I’ll run along now,” she said, “since Takahiro isn’t here. And if Jim has
any sense at all, he will clear out every maid in the house. I never saw
such a kitchen in all my life. Well, lead the way, Kit. I suppose they are
deep in bridge, or roulette, or something.”</p>
<p>She was fixing her veil, and I saw I would have to tell her. Personally, I
would much rather have told her the house was on fire.</p>
<p>“Wait a minute, Bella,” I said. “You see, something queer has happened.
You know this is the anniversary—well, you know what it is—and
Jim was awfully glum. So we thought we would come—”</p>
<p>“What are you driving at?” she demanded. “You are sea-green, Kit. What’s
the matter? You needn’t think I mind because Jim has a jollification to
celebrate his divorce.”</p>
<p>“It—it was Takahiro—in the ambulance,” I blurted. “Smallpox.
We—Bella, we are shut in, quarantined.”</p>
<p>She didn’t faint. She just sat down and stared at me, and I stared back at
her. Then a miserable alarm clock on the table suddenly went off like an
explosion, and Bella began to laugh. I knew what that was—hysteria.
She always had attacks like that when things went wrong. I was quite
despairing by that time; I hoped they would all hear her and come
downstairs and take her up and put her to bed like a Christian, so she
could giggle her soul out. But after a bit she quieted down and began to
cry softly, and I knew the worst was over. I gave her a shake, and she was
so angry that she got over it altogether.</p>
<p>“Kit, you are horrid,” she choked. “Don’t you see what a position I am in?
I am not going upstairs to face Anne and the rest of them. You can just
put me in the coal cellar.”</p>
<p>“Isn’t there a window you could get through?” I asked desperately.
“Locking the door doesn’t shut up a whole house.”</p>
<p>Bella’s courage revived at that, and she said yes, there were windows,
plenty of them, only she didn’t see how she could get out. And I said she
would HAVE to get out, because I was playing Bella in the performance, and
I didn’t care to have an understudy. Then the situation dawned on her, and
she sat down and laughed herself weak in the knees. Of course she wanted
to stay, then, and see the fun out. But I was firm; she would have to go,
and I told her so. Things were complicated enough without her.</p>
<p>Well, we looked funny, no doubt, Bella in a Russian pony automobile coat
over the black satin she had worn at the Clevelands’ dinner, and I in
cream lace, the skirt gathered up from the kitchen floor, with Bella’s
ermine pelerine around my bare shoulders, and dishes and overturned chairs
everywhere.</p>
<p>Bella knew more about the lower regions of her ex-home than I would have
thought. She opened a door in a corner and led the way through a narrow
hall past the refrigerating room, to a huge, cemented cellar, with a
furnace in the center, and a half-dozen electric lights making it really
brilliant.</p>
<p>“Get a chair,” Bella said over her shoulder, excitedly. “I can get out
easily here, through the coal hole. Imagine my—”</p>
<p>But it was my turn to grip Bella. From behind the furnace were coming the
most terrible sounds, rasping noises that fairly frayed the silk of my
nerves. We stood petrified for an instant. Then Bella laughed. “They are
not all gone,” she said carefully. “Some one is asleep there.”</p>
<p>We tiptoed to where we could see around the furnace, and, sure enough,
some one WAS asleep there. Only, it was not one of the servants; it was a
portly policeman, with a newspaper and an empty plate on the floor on one
side, and a champagne bottle on the other. He had slid down in his chair,
with his chin on his brass buttons, and his helmet had rolled a dozen feet
away. Bella had to clap her hand over her mouth.</p>
<p>“Fairly caught!” she whispered. “Sartor Resartus, the arrester arrested.
Oh, Jim and his flawless service!”</p>
<p>But after we got over our surprise, we saw the situation was serious. The
policeman was threatening to awaken. Once he stopped snoring to yawn
noisily, and we beat a hasty retreat. Bella switched off the lights in a
hurry and locked the door behind us. We hardly breathed until we were back
in the kitchen again, and everything quiet. And then Jimmy called my name
from up above somewheres.</p>
<p>“I am going to call him down, Bella,” I said firmly. “Let him help you
out. I’m sure I don’t see why I should have all this when the two of you—”</p>
<p>“Oh, no, no! Surely, Kit, you wouldn’t be so cruel!” she whispered
pleadingly. “You know what he would think. He—oh, Kit, let them all
get settled for the night, and then come down, like a dear, and help me
out. I know loads of ways—honestly I do.”</p>
<p>“If I leave you here,” I debated, “what about the policeman?”</p>
<p>“Never mind him”—frantically. “Listen! There’s Jim up in the pantry.
Run, for the sake of Heaven!”</p>
<p>So—I ran. At the top of the stairs I met Jimmy, very crumpled as to
shirt-front and dejected as to face.</p>
<p>“I’ve been hunting everywhere for you,” he said dismally. “I thought you
had added to the general merriment by falling downstairs and breaking your
neck.”</p>
<p>I went past him with my chin up. Now that I had time to think about it, I
was furiously angry with him.</p>
<p>“Kit!” he called after me appealingly, but I would not hear. Then he
adopted different tactics. He took advantage of my catching my foot in the
lace of my gown to pass me, and to stand with his back against the door.</p>
<p>“You’re not going until you hear me, Kit,” he declared miserably. “In the
first place, for all you are down on me, is it my fault? Honestly, now IS
IT MY FAULT?”</p>
<p>I refused to speak.</p>
<p>“I was coming home to be miserable alone,” he went on, “and—oh, I
know you meant well, Kit; but YOU asked all these crazy people here.”</p>
<p>“Perhaps you will give me credit for some things,” I said wearily. “I did
NOT give Takahiro smallpox, for instance, and—if you will permit me
to mention the fact—Aunt Selina is not MY Aunt Selina.”</p>
<p>“That’s what I wanted to speak to you about,” Jimmy went on wretchedly,
trying not to look at me. “You see, when they were rowing so about who
would get the breakfast—I never saw such a lot of people; half of
them never touch breakfast, but of course now they want all kinds of
things—when they were talking, Aunt Selina said she knew YOU would
get it, being the hostess, and responsible, besides knowing where things
are kept.” He had fixed his eyes on the orchids, and he looked shrunken,
actually shrunken. “I thought,” he finished, “you might give me a few
pointers now, and I could come down in the morning, and—and fuss up
something, coffee and so on. I would say you did it! Oh, hang it all, Kit,
why don’t you say something?”</p>
<p>“What do you want me to say?” I demanded. “That I love to cook, and of
course I’ll fix trays and carry them up in the morning to Anne Brown and
Leila Mercer and the rest; and that I will have the shaving water ready—”</p>
<p>“I know what I’m going to do,” Jimmy said, with a sudden resolution. “Aunt
Selina and her money can go to blazes. I am going right upstairs and tell
her the truth, tell her who you are, what I am, and all the rest of it.”
He opened the door.</p>
<p>“You’ll do nothing of the kind,” I gasped, catching him in time. “Don’t
you dare, Jimmy Wilson! Why, what would they think of me? After letting
her call me Bella, and him—Jim, if Mr. Harbison ever learns the
truth—I—I will take poison. If we are going to be shut up here
together, we will have to carry it on. I couldn’t stand the disgrace.”</p>
<p>In spite of an heroic effort, Jim looked relieved. “They have been hunting
for the linen closet,” he said, more cheerfully, “and there will be room
enough, I think. Harbison and I will hang out in the studio; there are two
couches there. I’m afraid you’ll have to take Aunt Selina, Kit.”</p>
<p>“Certainly,” I said coldly. That was the way it was all along. Whenever
there was something to do that no one else would undertake—any
unpleasant responsibility—that entire mongrel household turned with
one gesture and pointed its finger at me! Well, it is over now, and I
ought not to be bitter, considering everything.</p>
<p>It was quite characteristic of that memorable evening (that is quite
novelesque, I think) that my interview with Jimmy should have a
sensational ending. He was terribly down, of course, and as I was trying
to pass him to get to the door, he caught my hand.</p>
<p>“You’re a girl in a thousand, Kit,” he said forlornly. “If I were not so
damnably, hopelessly, idiotically in love with—somebody else, I
should be crazy about you.”</p>
<p>“Don’t be maudlin,” I retorted. “Would you mind letting my hand go?” I
felt sure Bella could hear.</p>
<p>“Oh, come now, Kit,” he implored, “we’ve always got along so well. It’s a
shame to let a thing like this make us bad friends. Aren’t you ever going
to forgive me?”</p>
<p>“Never,” I said promptly. “When I once get away, I don’t want ever to see
you again. I was never so humiliated in my life. I loathe you!”</p>
<p>Then I turned around, and, of course, there was Aunt Selina with her eyes
protruding until you could have knocked them off with a stick, and beside
her, very red and uncomfortable, Mr. Harbison!</p>
<p>“Bella!” she said in a shocked voice, “is that the way you speak to your
husband! It is high time I came here, I think, and took a hand in this
affair.”</p>
<p>“Oh, never mind, Aunt Selina,” Jim said, with a sheepish grin. “Kit—Bella
is tired and nervous. This is a h—deuce of a situation. No—er—servants,
and all that.”</p>
<p>But Aunt Selina did mind, and showed it. She pulled the unlucky Harbison
man through the door and closed it, and then stood glaring at both of us.</p>
<p>“Every little quarrel is an apple knocked from the tree of love,” she
announced oratorically.</p>
<p>“This was a very little quarrel,” Jim said, edging toward the door; “a—a
green apple, Aunt Selina, a colicky little green apple.” But she was not
to be diverted.</p>
<p>“Bella,” she said severely, “you said you loathed him. You didn’t mean
that.”</p>
<p>“But I do!” I cried hysterically. “There isn’t any word to tell how I—how
I detest him.”</p>
<p>Then I swept past them all and flew to Bella’s dressing room and locked
myself in. Aunt Selina knocked until she was tired, then gave up and went
to bed.</p>
<p>That was the night Anne Brown’s pearl collar was stolen!</p>
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