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Mrs. Craddock

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<h2>Chapter XVII</h2> EDWARD CRADDOCK was a strong man, also unimaginative. Driving through the night to Tercanbury he did not give way to distressing thoughts, but easily kept his anxiety within proper bounds, and gave his whole attention to conducting the horse; he kept his eyes on the road in front of him, and the beast stepped out with swift, regular stride, rapidly passing the milestones. Edward rang Dr. Spocref up and gave him the note he carried. The doctor presently came down, an undersized man with a squeaky voice and a gesticulative manner. He looked upon Edward with suspicion. “I suppose you’re the husband?” he said, as they clattered down the street. “Would you like me to drive? I dare say you’re rather upset.” “No—and don’t want to be,” answered Edward, with a laugh. He looked down a little upon people who lived in towns, and never trusted a man who was less than six feet high and burly in proportion! “I’m rather nervous of anxious husbands who drive me at a breakneck pace in the middle of the night,” said the doctor. “The ditches have an almost irresistible attraction for them.” “Well, I’m not nervous, doctor, so it doesn’t matter twopence if you are.” When they reached the open country, Edward set the horse going at its fastest; he was somewhat amused at the doctor’s desire to drive—absurd little man! “Are you holding on tight?” he asked, with good-natured scorn. “I see you can drive,” said the doctor. “It is not the first time I’ve had reins in my hands,” replied Edward, modestly. “Here we are!” He showed the specialist to the bedroom, and asked whether Dr. Ramsay required him further. “No, I don’t want you just now; but you’d better stay up to be ready, if anything happens.... I’m afraid Bertha is very bad indeed—you must be prepared for everything.” Edward retired to the next room and sat down. He was genuinely disturbed, but even now could not realise that Bertha was dying—his mind was sluggish, and he was unable to imagine the future. A more emotional man would have been white with fear, his heart beating painfully and his nerves quivering with a hundred anticipated terrors. He would have been quite useless; while Edward was fit for any emergency—he could have been trusted to drive another ten miles in search of some appliance, and, with perfect steadiness, to help in any necessary operation. “You know,” he said to Dr. Ramsay, “I don’t want to get in your way; but if I should be any use in the room, you can trust me not to get flurried.” “I don’t think there’s anything you can do; the nurse is very trustworthy and capable.” “Women,” said Edward, “get so excited; they always make fools of themselves if they possibly can.” But the night air had made Craddock sleepy, and after half-an-hour in the chair, trying to read a book, he dozed off. Presently, however, he awoke, and the first light of day filled the room with a gray coldness. He looked at his watch. “By Jove, it’s a long job,” he said. There was a knock at the door, and the nurse came in. “Will you please come.” Dr. Ramsay met him in the passage. “Thank God, it’s over. She’s had a terrible time.” “Is she all right?” “I think she’s in no danger now—but I’m sorry to say we couldn’t save the child.” A pang went through Edward’s heart. “Is it dead?” “It was still-born. I was afraid it was hopeless. You’d better go to Bertha now—she wants you. She doesn’t know about the child.” Bertha was lying in an attitude of complete exhaustion: she lay on her back, with arms stretched in utter weakness by her sides. Her face was gray with past anguish, her eyes dull and lifeless, half closed; and her jaw hung almost as hangs the jaw of a corpse. She tried to form a smile as she saw Edward, but in her feebleness the lips scarcely moved. “Don’t try to speak, dear,” said the nurse, seeing that Bertha was attempting words. Edward bent down and kissed her, the faintest blush coloured her cheeks, and she began to cry; the tears stealthily glided down her cheeks. “Come nearer to me, Eddie,” she whispered. He knelt beside her, suddenly touched. He took her hand, and the contact had a vivifying effect; she drew a long breath, and her lips formed a weary, weary smile. “Thank God, it’s over,” she groaned, half whispering. “Oh, Eddie, darling, you can’t think what I’ve gone through.” “Well, it’s all over now.” “And you’ve been worrying too, Eddie. It encouraged me to think that you shared my trouble. You must go to sleep now. It was good of you to drive to Tercanbury for me.” “You mustn’t talk,” said Dr. Ramsay, coming back into the room, after seeing the specialist sent off. “I’m better now,” said Bertha, “since I’ve seen Eddie.” “Well, you must go to sleep.” “You’ve not told me yet if it’s a boy or a girl; tell me, Eddie, you know.” Edward looked uneasily at the doctor. “It’s a boy,” said Dr. Ramsay. “I knew it would be,” she murmured. An expression of ecstatic pleasure came into her face, chasing away the grayness of death. “I’m so glad. Have you seen it, Eddie?” “Not yet.” “It’s our child, isn’t it? It’s worth going through the pain to have a baby. I’m so happy.” “You must go to sleep now.” “I’m not a bit sleepy—and I want to see my boy.” “No, you can’t see him now,” said Dr. Ramsay, “he’s asleep, and you mustn’t disturb him.” “Oh, I should like to see him, just for one minute. You needn’t wake him.” “You shall see him after you’ve been asleep,” said the doctor, soothingly. “It’ll excite you too much.” “Well, you go in and see him, Eddie, and kiss him, and then I’ll go to sleep.” She seemed so anxious that at least its father should see his child, that the nurse led Edward into the next room. On a chest of drawers was lying something covered with a towel. This the nurse lifted, and Edward saw his child; it was naked and very small, hardly human, repulsive, yet very pitiful. The eyes were closed, the eyes that had never been opened. Edward looked at it for a minute. “I promised I’d kiss it,” he whispered. He bent down and touched with his lips the white forehead; the nurse drew the towel over the body, and they went back to Bertha. “Is he sleeping?” she asked. “Yes.” “Did you kiss him?” “Yes.” Bertha smiled. “Fancy your kissing baby before me.” But Dr. Ramsay’s draught was taking its effect, and almost immediately Bertha fell into a pleasant sleep. “Let’s take a turn in the garden,” said Dr. Ramsay. “I think I ought to be here when she wakes.”   The air was fresh, scented with the spring flowers and the odour of the earth. Both men inspired it with relief after the close atmosphere of the sick-room. Dr. Ramsay put his arm in Edward’s. “Cheer up, my boy,” he said. “You’ve borne it all magnificently. I’ve never seen a man go through a night like this better than you; and upon my word, you’re as fresh as paint this morning.” “Oh, I’m all right,” said Edward. “What’s to be done about—about the baby?” “I think she’ll be able to bear it better after she’s had a sleep. I really didn’t dare say it was still-born. The shock would have been too much for her.” They went in and washed and ate, then waited for Bertha to wake. At last the nurse called them. “You poor things,” cried Bertha, as they entered the room. “Have you had no sleep at all?... I feel quite well now, and I want my baby. Nurse says it’s sleeping and I can’t have it—but I will. I want it to sleep with me, I want to look at my son.” Edward and the nurse looked at Dr. Ramsay, who for once was disconcerted. “I don’t think you’d better have him to-day, Bertha,” he said. “It would upset you.” “Oh, but I must have my baby. Nurse, bring him to me at once.” Edward knelt down again by the bedside and took her hands. “Now, Bertha, you musn’t be alarmed, but the baby’s not well, and——“ “What d’you mean?” Bertha suddenly sprang up in the bed. “Lie down. Lie down,” cried Dr. Ramsay and the nurse, forcing her back on the pillow. “What’s the matter with him, doctor,” she cried, in sudden terror. “It’s as Edward says, he’s not well.” “Oh, he isn’t going to die—after all I’ve gone through.” She looked from one to the other. “Oh, tell me; don’t keep me in suspense. I can bear it, whatever it is.” Dr. Ramsay touched Edward, encouraging him. “You must prepare yourself for bad news, darling. You know—--“ “He isn’t dead?” she shrieked. “I’m awfully sorry, dear.... He was still-born.” “Oh, God!” groaned Bertha, it was a cry of despair. And then she burst into passionate weeping. Her sobs were terrible, uncontrollable; it was her life that she was weeping away, her hope of happiness, all her desires and dreams. Her heart seemed breaking. She put her hands to her eyes, with a gesture of utter agony. “Then I went through it all for nothing.... Oh, Eddie, you don’t know the frightful pain of it—all night I thought I should die.... I would have given anything to be put out of my suffering. And it was all useless.” She sobbed still more irresistibly, quite crushed by the recollection of what she had gone through, and its futility. “Oh, I wish I could die.” The tears were in Edward’s eyes, and he kissed her hands. “Don’t give way, darling,” he said, searching in vain for words to console her. His voice faltered and broke. “Oh, Eddie,” she said, “you’re suffering just as much as I am. I forgot.... Let me see him now.” Dr. Ramsay made a sign to the nurse, and she fetched the dead child. She carried it to the bedside and showed it to Bertha. Bertha said nothing, and at last turned away; the nurse withdrew. Bertha’s tears now had ceased, but her mouth was set into a hopeless woe. “Oh, I loved him already so much.” Edward bent over. “Don’t grieve, darling.” She put her arms round his neck as she had delighted to do. “Oh, Eddie, love me with all your heart. I want your love so badly.” <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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