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Bab Ballads (version 2)

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<h2>SIR MACKLIN</h2> Of all the youths I ever saw    None were so wicked, vain, or silly, So lost to shame and Sabbath law,    As worldly Tom, and Bob, and Billy. For every Sabbath day they walked    (Such was their gay and thoughtless natur) In parks or gardens, where they talked    From three to six, or even later. Sir Macklin was a priest severe    In conduct and in conversation, It did a sinner good to hear    Him deal in ratiocination. He could in every action show    Some sin, and nobody could doubt him. He argued high, he argued low,    He also argued round about him. He wept to think each thoughtless youth    Contained of wickedness a skinful, And burnt to teach the awful truth,    That walking out on Sunday’s sinful. “Oh, youths,” said he, “I grieve to find    The course of life you’ve been and hit on— Sit down,” said he, “and never mind    The pennies for the chairs you sit on. “My opening head is ‘Kensington,’    How walking there the sinner hardens, Which when I have enlarged upon,    I go to ‘Secondly’—its ‘Gardens.’ “My ‘Thirdly’ comprehendeth ‘Hyde,’    Of Secresy the guilts and shameses; My ‘Fourthly’—‘Park’—its verdure wide—    My ‘Fifthly’ comprehends ‘St. James’s.’ “That matter settled, I shall reach    The ‘Sixthly’ in my solemn tether, And show that what is true of each,    Is also true of all, together. “Then I shall demonstrate to you,    According to the rules of Whately, That what is true of all, is true    Of each, considered separately.” In lavish stream his accents flow,    Tom, Bob, and Billy dare not flout him; He argued high, he argued low,    He also argued round about him. “Ha, ha!” he said, “you loathe your ways,    You writhe at these my words of warning, In agony your hands you raise.”    (And so they did, for they were yawning.) To “Twenty-firstly” on they go,    The lads do not attempt to scout him; He argued high, he argued low,    He also argued round about him. “Ho, ho!” he cries, “you bow your crests—    My eloquence has set you weeping; In shame you bend upon your breasts!”    (And so they did, for they were sleeping.) He proved them this—he proved them that—    This good but wearisome ascetic; He jumped and thumped upon his hat,    He was so very energetic. His Bishop at this moment chanced    To pass, and found the road encumbered; He noticed how the Churchman danced,    And how his congregation slumbered. The hundred and eleventh head    The priest completed of his stricture; “Oh, bosh!” the worthy Bishop said,    And walked him off as in the picture. <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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