<h2><SPAN name="page18"></SPAN><span class="pagenum"></span>GENERAL JOHN</h2>
<p class="poetry"><span class="smcap">The</span> bravest names
for fire and flames<br/>
And all that mortal durst,<br/>
Were <span class="smcap">General John</span> and <span class="smcap">Private James</span>,<br/>
Of the Sixty-seventy-first.</p>
<p class="poetry"><span class="smcap">General John</span> was a
soldier tried,<br/>
A chief of warlike dons;<br/>
A haughty stride and a withering pride<br/>
Were <span class="smcap">Major-General
John’s</span>.</p>
<p class="poetry">A sneer would play on his martial phiz,<br/>
Superior birth to show;<br/>
“Pish!” was a favourite word of his,<br/>
And he often said “Ho! ho!”</p>
<p class="poetry"><span class="smcap">Full-Private James</span>
described might be,<br/>
As a man of a mournful mind;<br/>
No characteristic trait had he<br/>
Of any distinctive kind.</p>
<p class="poetry">From the ranks, one day, cried <span class="smcap">Private James</span>,<br/>
“Oh! <span class="smcap">Major-General
John</span>,<br/>
I’ve doubts of our respective names,<br/>
My mournful mind upon.</p>
<p class="poetry">“A glimmering thought occurs to me<br/>
(Its source I can’t unearth),<br/>
But I’ve a kind of a notion we<br/>
Were cruelly changed at birth.</p>
<p class="poetry">“I’ve a strange idea that each
other’s names<br/>
We’ve each of us here got on.<br/>
Such things have been,” said <span class="smcap">Private
James</span>.<br/>
“They have!” sneered <span class="smcap">General John</span>.</p>
<p class="poetry">“My <span class="smcap">General
John</span>, I swear upon<br/>
My oath I think ’tis so—”<br/>
“Pish!” proudly sneered his <span class="smcap">General John</span>,<br/>
And he also said “Ho! ho!”</p>
<p class="poetry">“My <span class="smcap">General
John</span>! my <span class="smcap">General John</span>!<br/>
My <span class="smcap">General John</span>!”
quoth he,<br/>
“This aristocratical sneer upon<br/>
Your face I blush to see!</p>
<p class="poetry">“No truly great or generous cove<br/>
Deserving of them names,<br/>
Would sneer at a fixed idea that’s drove<br/>
In the mind of a <span class="smcap">Private
James</span>!”</p>
<p class="poetry">Said <span class="smcap">General John</span>,
“Upon your claims<br/>
No need your breath to waste;<br/>
If this is a joke, <span class="smcap">Full-Private
James</span>,<br/>
It’s a joke of doubtful taste.</p>
<p class="poetry">“But, being a man of doubtless worth,<br/>
If you feel certain quite<br/>
That we were probably changed at birth,<br/>
I’ll venture to say you’re
right.”</p>
<p class="poetry">So <span class="smcap">General John</span> as
<span class="smcap">Private James</span><br/>
Fell in, parade upon;<br/>
And <span class="smcap">Private James</span>, by change of
names,<br/>
Was <span class="smcap">Major-General
John</span>.</p>
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