<h2><SPAN name="CHAPTER_XI" id="CHAPTER_XI"></SPAN>CHAPTER XI</h2>
<p class="h3">STONE WALLS DO NOT MAKE A CAGE</p>
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<p>Oh, give me back my Arab steed, I cannot ride alone!<br/>
Or tell me where my Beautiful, my four-legged bird has flown.<br/>
'Twas here she arched her glossy back, beside the fountain's brink,<br/>
And after that I know no more—but I came off, I think.</p>
<p class="right"><i>More so-called original lines by aforesaid young English
friend. But I have the shrewd suspicion of having
read them before somewhere.—H. B. J.</i></p>
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<p class="dropcap">AND now, O gentle and sympathetic
reader, behold our unfortunate hero
confined in the darkest bowels of the Old
Bailey Dungeon, for the mere crime of being
an impecunious!</p>
<p>Yes, misters, in spite of all your boasted love
of liberty and fresh air, imprisonment for debt
is still part of the law of the land! How long
will you deafen your ears to the pitiable cry of
the bankrupt as he pleads for the order of his<span class="pagenum">[79]</span>
discharge? Perhaps it has been reserved for
a native Indian novelist to jog the elbow of
so-called British jurisprudence, and call its
attention to such a shocking scandal.</p>
<p>Mr Bhosh found his prison most devilishly
dull. Some prisoners have been known to
beguile their captivity by making pets or
playmates out of most unpromising materials.
For instance, and <i>exempli gratia</i>, Mr Monty
Christo met an abbey in his dungeon, who
gave him a tip-top education; Mr Picciola
watered a flower; the Prisoner of Chillon
made chums of his chains; while Honble
Bruce, as is well-known, succeeded in taming
a spider to climb up a thread and fall down
seven times in succession.</p>
<p>But Mr Bhosh had no spider to amuse him,
and the only flowers growing in his dungeon
were toadstools, which do not require to be
watered, nor did there happen to be any abbey
confined in the Old Bailey at the time.</p>
<p>Nevertheless, he was preserved from despair
by his indomitable native chirpiness. For<span class="pagenum">[80]</span>
was not <i>Milky Way</i> a dead set for the Derby,
and when she came out at the top of the pole,
would he not be the gainer of sufficient untold
gold to pay all his debts, besides winning the
hand of Princess Petunia?</p>
<p>He was waited upon by the head gaoler's
daughter, a damsel of considerable pulchritude
by the name of Caroline, who at first regarded
him askance as a malefactor.</p>
<p>But, on learning from her parent that his
sole offence was insuperable pennilessness, her
tender heart was softened with pity to behold
such a young gentlemanly Indian captive
clanking in bilboes, and soon they became
thick as thieves.</p>
<p>Like all the inhabitants of Great Britain,
her thoughts were entirely engrossed with the
approaching Derby Race, and she very innocently
narrated how it was matter of common
knowledge that a notorious grandame, to wit
the fashionable Duchess of Dickinson, had
backed heavily that <i>Milky Way</i> was to fail
like the flash of a pan.<span class="pagenum">[81]</span></p>
<p>Whereupon Mr Bhosh, recollecting that he
had actually entrusted his invaluable mare
with her concomitant jockey to the mercy of
this self-same Duchess, was harrowed with
sudden misgivings.</p>
<p>By shrewd cross-questions he soon eliminated
that Mr M<sup>c</sup>Alpine was a pal of the
Duchess, which she had herself admitted at the
Victoria terminus, and thus by dint of penetrating
instinct, Mr Bhosh easily unravelled
the tangled labyrinth of a hideous conspiracy,
which caused him to beat his head vehemently
against the walls of his cell at the thought of
his utter impotentiality.</p>
<p>Like all feminines who were privileged to
make his acquaintance, Miss Caroline was
transfixed with passionate adoration for Bindabun,
whom she regarded as a gallant and
illused innocent, and resolved to assist him to
cut his lucky.</p>
<p>To this end she furnished him with a file
and a silken ladder of her own knitting—but
unfortunately Mr Bhosh, having never before<span class="pagenum">[82]</span>
undergone incarceration, was a total neophyte
in effecting his escape by such dangerous and
antiquated procedures, which he firmly declined
to employ, urging her to sneak the
paternal keybunch and let him out at daybreak
by some back entrance.</p>
<p>And, not to crack the wind of this poor
story while rendering it as short as possible,
she yielded to his entreaties and contrived to
restore him to the priceless boon of liberty the
next morning at about 5 <span class="smcap">A.M.</span></p>
<p>Oh, the unparalleled raptures of finding
himself once more free as a bird!</p>
<p>It was the dawn of the Derby Day, and Mr
Bhosh precipitated himself to his dwelling,
intending to array himself in all his best and
go down to Epsom, where he was in hopes of
encountering his horse. Heyday! What
was his chagrin to see his jockey, Cadwallader
Perkin, approach with streaming eyes, fling
himself at his master's feet and implore him to
be merciful!</p>
<p>"How comes it, Cadwallader," sternly inquired<span class="pagenum">[83]</span>
Mr Bhosh, "that you are not on the
heath of Epsom instead of wallowing like
this on my shoes?"</p>
<p>"I do not know," was the whimpered response.</p>
<p>"Then pray where is my Derby favourite,
<i>Milky Way</i>?" demanded Bindabun.</p>
<p>"I cannot tell," wailed out the lachrymose
juvenile. Then, after prolonged pressure, he
confessed that the Duchess had met him at
the station portals, and, on the plea that there
was abundance of spare time to book the mare,
easily persuaded him to accompany her to the
buffet of Refreshment-room.</p>
<p>There she plied him with a stimulant which
jockeys are proverbially unable to resist, viz.,
brandy-cherries, in such profusion that he
promptly became catalyptic in a corner.</p>
<p>When he returned to sobriety neither the
Duchess nor the mare was perceptible to his
naked eye, and he had been searching in vain
for them ever since.</p>
<p>It was the time not for words, but deeds,<span class="pagenum">[84]</span>
and Mr Bhosh did not indulge in futile
irascibility, but sat down and composed a
reply wire to the Clerk of Course, Epsom,
couched in these simple words: "Have you
seen my Derby mare?—<span class="smcap">Bhosh.</span>"</p>
<p>After the suspense of an hour the reply
came in the discouraging form of an abrupt
negative, upon which Mr Bhosh thus addressed
the abashed Perkin: "Even should I recapture
my mare in time, you have proved yourself unworthy
of riding her. Strip off your racing
coat and cap, and I will engage some more
reliable equestrian."</p>
<p>The lad handed over the toggery, which
Bindabun stuffed, being of very fine silken
tissue, into his coat pocket, after which he
hurried off to Victoria in great agitation to
make inquiries.</p>
<p>There the officials treated his modest requests
in very off-handed style, and he was
becoming all of a twitter with anxiety and
humiliation, when, <i>mirabile dictu!</i> all of a
sudden his ears were regaled by the well-known<span class="pagenum">[85]</span>
sound of a whinny, and he recognised
the beloved voice of <i>Milky Way</i>!</p>
<p>But whence did it proceed? He ran to and
fro in uncontrollable excitement, endeavouring
to locate the sound. There was no trace of a
horse in any of the waiting-rooms, but at
length he discovered that his mare had been
locked up in the Left-Luggage department, and,
summoning a porter, Mr Bhosh had at last the
indescribable felicity to embrace his kidnapped
Derby favourite <i>Milky Way</i>!<span class="pagenum">[86]</span></p>
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