<h2><SPAN name="L_THE_ACTOR" id="L_THE_ACTOR"></SPAN>L. THE ACTOR</h2>
<p>Mr. Levinski, the famous actor-manager, dragged himself from beneath the
car, took the snow out of his mouth, and swore heartily. Mortal men are
liable to motor accidents; even king's cars have backfired; but it seems
strange that actor-managers are not specially exempt from these
occurrences. Mr. Levinski was not only angry; he was also a little
shocked. When an actor-manager has to walk two miles to the nearest town
on a winter evening, one may be pardoned a doubt as to whether all is
quite right with the world.</p>
<p>But the completest tragedy has its compensations for some one. The
pitiable arrival of Mr. Levinski at "The Duke's Head," unrecognised and
with his fur coat slightly ruffled, might make a sceptic of the most
devout optimist, and yet Eustace Merrowby can never look back upon that
evening without a sigh of thankfulness; for to him it was the beginning
of his career. The story has often been told since—in about a dozen<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_378" id="Page_378">[Pg 378]</SPAN></span>
weekly papers, half-a-dozen daily papers and three dozen provincial
papers—but it will always bear telling again.</p>
<p>There was no train to London that night, and Mr. Levinski had been
compelled to put up at "The Duke's Head." However, he had dined and was
feeling slightly better. He summoned the manager of the hotel.</p>
<p>"What does one do in this damn place?" he asked with a yawn.</p>
<p>The manager, instantly recognising that he was speaking to a member of
the aristocracy, made haste to reply. "Othello" was being played at the
town theatre. His daughter, who had already been three times, told him
that it was very sweet. He was sure his lordship....</p>
<p>Mr. Levinski dismissed him, and considered the point. He had to amuse
himself with something that evening, and the choice apparently lay
between "Othello" and the local Directory. He picked up the Directory.
By a lucky chance for Eustace Merrowby it was three years old. Mr.
Levinski put on his fur coat and went to see "Othello."</p>
<p>For some time he was as bored as he had expected to be, but halfway
through the Third Act he began to wake up. There was something<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_379" id="Page_379">[Pg 379]</SPAN></span> in the
playing of the principal actor which moved him strangely. He looked at
his programme. "<i>Othello</i>—MR. EUSTACE MERROWBY." Mr. Levinski frowned
thoughtfully. "Merrowby," he said to himself. "I don't know the name,
but he's the man I want." He took out the gold pencil presented to him
by the Emperor—(the station-master had had a tie-pin)—and wrote a
note.</p>
<p>He was finishing breakfast next morning when Mr. Merrowby was announced.</p>
<p>"Ah, good morning," said Mr. Levinski, "good morning. You find me very
busy," and here he began to turn the pages of the Directory backwards
and forwards, "but I can give you a moment. What is it you want?"</p>
<p>"You asked me to call on you," said Eustace.</p>
<p>"Did I, did I?" He passed his hand across his brow with a noble gesture.
"I am so busy I forget. Ah, now I remember. I saw you play <i>Othello</i>
last night. You are the man I want. I am producing 'Oom Baas,' the great
South African drama, next April, at my theatre. Perhaps you know?"</p>
<p>"I have read about it in the papers," said Eustace. In all the papers
(he might have added) every day, for the last six months.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_380" id="Page_380">[Pg 380]</SPAN></span></p>
<p>"Good. Then you may have heard that one of the scenes is an ostrich
farm. I want you to play 'Tommy.'"</p>
<p>"One of the ostriches?" asked Eustace.</p>
<p>"I do not offer the part of an ostrich to a man who has played
<i>Othello</i>. Tommy is the Kaffir boy who looks after the farm. It is a
black part, like your present one, but not so long. In London you cannot
expect to take the leading parts just yet."</p>
<p>"This is very kind of you," said Eustace gratefully. "I have always
longed to get to London. And to start in your theatre!—it's a wonderful
chance."</p>
<p>"Good," said Mr. Levinski. "Then that's settled." He waved Eustace away
and took up the Directory again with a business-like air.</p>
<p>And so Eustace Merrowby came to London. It is a great thing for a young
actor to come to London. As Mr. Levinski had warned him, his new part
was not so big as that of <i>Othello</i>; he had to say "Hofo tsetse!"—which
was alleged to be Kaffir for "Down, Sir!" to the big ostrich. But to be
at the St. George's Theatre at all was an honour which most men would
envy him, and his association with a real ostrich was bound<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_381" id="Page_381">[Pg 381]</SPAN></span> to bring
him before the public in the pages of the illustrated papers.</p>
<p>Eustace, curiously enough, was not very nervous on the first night. He
was fairly certain that he was word-perfect; and if only the ostrich
didn't kick him in the back of the neck—as it had tried to once at
rehearsal—the evening seemed likely to be a triumph for him. And so it
was with a feeling of pleasurable anticipation that, on the morning
after, he gathered the papers round him at breakfast, and prepared to
read what the critics had to say.</p>
<p>He had a remarkable Press. I give a few examples of the notices he
obtained from the leading papers:</p>
<p>"Mr. Eustace Merrowby was Tommy."—<i>Daily Telegraph.</i></p>
<p>"The cast included Mr. Eustace Merrowby."—<i>Times.</i></p>
<p>" ... Mr. Eustace Merrowby ... "—<i>Daily Chronicle.</i></p>
<p>"We have no space in which to mention all the other
performers."—<i>Morning Leader.</i></p>
<p>"This criticism only concerns the two actors we have mentioned, and does
not apply to the rest of the cast."—<i>Sportsman.</i></p>
<p>"Where all were so good it would be invidious<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_382" id="Page_382">[Pg 382]</SPAN></span> to single out anybody for
special praise."—<i>Daily Mail.</i></p>
<p>"The acting deserved a better play."—<i>Daily News.</i></p>
<p>" ... Tommy ..."—<i>Morning Post.</i></p>
<p>As Eustace read the papers he felt that his future was secure. True,
<i>The Era</i>, careful never to miss a single performer, had yet to say,
"Mr. Eustace Merrowby was capital as Tommy," and <i>The Stage</i>, "Tommy was
capitally played by Mr. Eustace Merrowby"; but even without this he had
become one of the Men who Count—one whose private life was of more
interest to the public than that of any scientist, general or diplomat
in the country.</p>
<p>Into Eustace Merrowby's subsequent career I cannot go at full length. It
is perhaps as a member of the Garrick Club that he has attained his
fullest development. All the good things of the Garrick which were not
previously said by Sydney Smith may safely be put down to Eustace; and
there is no doubt that he is the ringleader in all the subsequent
practical jokes which have made the club famous. It was he who pinned to
the back of an unpopular member of the committee a sheet of paper
bearing the words<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_383" id="Page_383">[Pg 383]</SPAN></span></p>
<p class="center">KICK ME</p>
<p>—and the occasion on which he drew the chair from beneath a certain
eminent author as the latter was about to sit down is still referred to
hilariously by the older members.</p>
<p>Finally, as a convincing proof of his greatness, let it be said that
everybody has at least heard the name "Eustace Merrowby"—even though
some may be under the impression that it is the trade-mark of a sauce;
and that half the young ladies of Wandsworth Common and Winchmore Hill
are in love with him. If this be not success, what is?<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_384" id="Page_384">[Pg 384]</SPAN></span></p>
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