Back Aa

Foolish Dictionary, The

Close

<h3>Fortune knocks only once at a man's door—And she's the worst Knocker in the world.</h3> <div class="fig"> <ANTIMG border="0" src="images/t.png" alt="T" /></div> <h3>Brevity is the soul of wit—and the sole charm of of a bicycle skirt.</h3> <div class="block">TAILOR One who takes your measure on first sight, gives you a fit, sews you up and follows suit until paid. <hr style="clear: both;" /> TALK A continuous performance playing daily and nightly engagements, with Woman as the star and Man confined in the Family Circle. <hr style="clear: both;" /> TELEGRAM <div class="imgl" style="width: 25%;"> <ANTIMG border="0" src="images/telegram.png" width-obs="85%" alt="Telegram" /></div> A form of correspondence sent by a man in a hurry and carried by a boy in sleep. <hr style="clear: both;" /> TELEPHONE From Eng. tell, to talk, and Grk. phonos, murder. A machine in which talk is murdered. <hr style="clear: both;" /> TENNIS A game in which the participants enjoy a racket on the side and raise the deuce over a net, while the volleys drive them from set to set and love scores as often as it's mentioned. <hr style="clear: both;" /> TEMPER A quality, the loss of which is likely to make a knife blade dull and a woman's tongue sharp. <hr style="clear: both;" /> THERMOMETER <div class="imgl" style="width: 25%;"> <ANTIMG border="0" src="images/thermometer.png" width-obs="85%" alt="Thermometer" /></div> A short, glass tube that regulates the weather—and usually does a poor job. <hr style="clear: both;" /> THIRST A sensation immediately following a short session at the free lunch stand. <hr style="clear: both;" /> TIDE An old friend who comes and goes daily but is all in whenever he gets over the bay. <hr style="clear: both;" /> TITIAN The color a poor red-headed girl's hair becomes as soon as her father strikes oil. <hr style="clear: both;" /> TIPS Wages we pay other people's hired help. <hr style="clear: both;" /> TOBACCO A nauseating plant that is consumed by but two creatures; a large, green worm and—man. The worm doesn't know any better. <hr style="clear: both;" /> TONGUE An unruly member that is frequently put out, yet an artist who's a hard worker at the palate and a great wag among women. <hr style="clear: both;" /> TOUCH A habit common to the impecunious, causing in its victim a feeling of faintness, followed by a chill or a sense of loss. <hr style="clear: both;" /> TRANSFER A small bit of paper of remarkable strength, being able to carry a heavy man several miles. <hr style="clear: both;" /> TROLLEY-CAR A conveyance filled with advertisements, and occasionally passengers, and operated by Poles. <hr style="clear: both;" /> TROUBLE Something that many are looking for but no one wants. <hr style="clear: both;" /> TRUST A small body of capital entirely surrounded by water. <hr style="clear: both;" /> TWINS Insult added to Injury. <hr style="clear: both;" /> TWISTERS <div class="imgl" style="width: 25%;"> <ANTIMG border="0" src="images/twisters.png" width-obs="90%" alt="Twisters" /></div> An undesirable thing to have on hand. </div> <hr style="width: 33%;" /> <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

1 of 2

2 of 2