Back Aa

Foolish Dictionary, The

Close

<h3>Charity begins at home—but ends when you reach The Cook.</h3> <div class="block">QUACK The Duck family's favorite physician. <hr style="clear: both;" /> QUAIL <div class="imgl" style="width: 30%;"> <ANTIMG border="0" src="images/quail.png" width-obs="90%" alt="Quail" /></div> v. t., To shrink—a characteristic of the bird when ordered in a restaurant. <hr style="clear: both;" /> QUEEN One entitled to rule a nation, make up a deck, or beat a knave. <hr style="clear: both;" /> QUESTION Is marriage a failure? <hr style="clear: both;" /> QUEUE The only Mongolian line connecting America and China. <hr style="clear: both;" /> QUORUM A clumsy individual, all Ayes and Noes, who is seldom on hand when needed. </div> <hr style="width: 33%;" /> <h3>Faint heart never won fair lady—but a full purse can always pull the trick.</h3> <div class="fig"> <ANTIMG border="0" src="images/r.png" alt="R" /></div> <h3>Man proposes, then woman imposes.</h3> <div class="block">RABBIT A small rodent, very similar to a hare, which feeds on grass and burrows in the earth. WELSH RABBIT More like a string, thrives on cheese and burrows in the stomach. <hr style="clear: both;" /> RACE-TRACK An interesting locality, where pools are bought and sold in books and the heat never interferes with the search for the Pole. <hr style="clear: both;" /> RADIUM A radiant radiator, redolent of ranging radial rays of radio-activity, raised to radical rates and regarded as a ruthless rake-off in the reign of riches within the arrayed radius of a raging, raving and raided race. <hr style="clear: both;" /> RAG-TIME Music pulled into many pieces—the invention of a flannel-mouth to which many have cottoned. <hr style="clear: both;" /> RAPID TRANSIT A municipal myth, circulated for the amusement of the long suffering—and slow moving—public. <hr style="clear: both;" /> REFORM In general, a periodic epidemic, starting with marked heat, followed by a high fever, and accompanied by a flow of ink in the newspapers, a discharge of words from the face and a rush of blood to the polls, leaving the victim a chronic invalid until the next campaign. In New York, reform has been confined to a Low attempt at government. <hr style="clear: both;" /> REFORMER One who, when he smells a rat, is eager to let the cat out of the bag. <hr style="clear: both;" /> REGISTER <div class="imgl" style="width: 30%;"> <ANTIMG border="0" src="images/register.png" width-obs="90%" alt="Register" /></div> The only autograph album which it costs you money to write in. <hr style="clear: both;" /> REGRETS An excuse for non-attendance at a social function. Occasionally, an expression of sorrow; usually, a paean of praise at deliverance from evil. <hr style="clear: both;" /> RELATIONS A tedious pack of people who haven't the remotest knowledge of how to live nor the smallest instinct about when to die. <hr style="clear: both;" /> RELIGION A cloak used by some persons in this world who will be warm enough without one in the next. <hr style="clear: both;" /> R.E. MORSE A veteran General who commands the largest army in the world. <hr style="clear: both;" /> REPARTEE The sassy habit of talking back. <hr style="clear: both;" /> REPUTATION A personal possession, frequently not discovered until lost. <hr style="clear: both;" /> RESIDENCE A rural locality inhabited annually—for a few hours—by a rich New Yorker or Bostonian. <hr style="clear: both;" /> RESOLUTION A fragile bit of crockery fashioned on the first day of January and usually broken on the second. <hr style="clear: both;" /> RESORT (SUMMER) A place where the tired grow more tired. From Eng. rest, and Grk. orizo, to limit. A place where rest is limited. <hr style="clear: both;" /> REST A trade in which every hobo holds a Union Card for life. <hr style="clear: both;" /> RESTAURANT An institution for the spread of dyspepsia. From Lat. restauro, to repair, and Grk. anti, against. After patronizing, you're "up against repairs." <hr style="clear: both;" /> RHETORIC Language in a dress suit. <hr style="clear: both;" /> RICE An effective field-piece, used for assaulting Chinamen or the newly-married. <hr style="clear: both;" /> ROQUEFORT A kind of cheese whose odor puts it easily in the first rank. <hr style="clear: both;" /> ROYCROFTER A successful book-maker on the East Aurora turf. From Fr. roi, king, and old Saxon crofter, or grafter. King of Grafters. <hr style="clear: both;" /> RUMOR The long-distance champion of the Human Race—a monster with more tales than an octopus. <hr style="clear: both;" /> RUST Physical dullness. RUSTIC Mental dullness. </div> <hr style="width: 33%;" /> <h3>Beggars should never be choosers—though the beggar often chews what he begs.</h3> <div class="fig"> <ANTIMG border="0" src="images/s.png" alt="S" /></div> <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

1 of 2

2 of 2