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Foolish Dictionary, The

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<h3>One man's meat is another man's finish—Canned Beef in Cuba.</h3> <div class="block">KANGAROO A hard drinker from Australia, especially fond of hops, and generally carrying a load. <hr style="clear: both;" /> KATYDID A gossiping grasshopper who is always meddling in Katy's affairs. <hr style="clear: both;" /> KEEPSAKE Something given us by someone we've forgotten. <hr style="clear: both;" /> KERNELS or COLONELS Articles often found in cores (or corps) and frequently surrounded by shells. <hr style="clear: both;" /> KEROSENE <div class="imgl" style="width: 25%;"> <ANTIMG border="0" src="images/kerosene.png" width-obs="90%" alt="Kerosene" /></div> An alleged provider of heat and light. From Lat. carus, meaning expensive and seneo, to be weak; expensive but weak. For further explanation, consult Standard Oil Company. <hr style="clear: both;" /> KEYHOLE <div class="imgl" style="width: 25%;"> <ANTIMG border="0" src="images/keyhole.png" width-obs="90%" alt="Keyhole" /></div> A frequent test for sobriety. <hr style="clear: both;" /> KID Either a boxing-glove or a first-born. In either case, hard to handle until well tanned. <hr style="clear: both;" /> KILTS A Scotchman's apology for indecent exposure. <hr style="clear: both;" /> KINDRED From Eng. kin, meaning relation, and dread, meaning fear; fearful relations. <hr style="clear: both;" /> KINDERGARTEN From Ger. kinder, children, and Lat. garritus, a babbling. A place for babbling children. <hr style="clear: both;" /> KINDLING-WOOD From Ger. kind, youth, and Eng. linger, to loaf. A place where youth generally loafs. <hr style="clear: both;" /> KISS Nothing divided by two; meaning persecution for the infant, ecstasy for the youth, fidelity for the middle-aged and homage for the old. <hr style="clear: both;" /> KISS An indescribable something that is of no value to any one, but is much prized by the right two. <hr style="clear: both;" /> KNOCKER A device on doors for rousing people; also, a device on foot for the same purpose. </div> <hr style="width: 33%;" /> <h3>Laugh-in-one's-sleeve—The direct route to the Funny-Bone.</h3> <div class="fig"> <ANTIMG border="0" src="images/l.png" alt="L" /></div> <h3>Two heads are better than one—particularly on a Barrel of Money.</h3> <div class="block">LACE Among women, lace means lesson; wherefore they combine art and thrift by lessening the waist. <hr style="clear: both;" /> LACONIC Shy on words. From Eng. lack, meaning want, and connection; want of connection. <hr style="clear: both;" /> LAMP A light. LAMPONED To be lighted on. <hr style="clear: both;" /> LARD Fat. LARDER A fattener. <hr style="clear: both;" /> LARK A short, sweet spree enjoyed by night hawks. Also, an early rising singing-bird. (Dist. bet. "out on a lark," and "up with the lark," an impossible combination). <hr style="clear: both;" /> LASSIE One of the weaker sex. LASSITUDE Slightly weaker. <hr style="clear: both;" /> LAUD Praise for the Almighty. LAUDANUM Prays for himself—after taking. <hr style="clear: both;" /> LAUNDRY A place where clothes are mangled. <hr style="clear: both;" /> LAUGH A peculiar contortion of the human countenance, voluntary or involuntary, superinduced by a concatenation of external circumstances, seen or heard, of a ridiculous, ludicrous, jocose, mirthful, funny, facetious or fanciful nature and accompanied by a cackle, chuckle, chortle, cachinnation, giggle gurgle, guffaw or roar. <hr style="clear: both;" /> LAWYER One who defends your estate against an enemy, in order to appropriate it to himself. <hr style="clear: both;" /> LECTURE An entertainment at which it costs but little to look intelligent. <hr style="clear: both;" /> LEGISLATURE <div class="imgl" style="width: 30%;"> <ANTIMG border="0" src="images/legislature.png" width-obs="90%" alt="Legislature" /></div> From Lat. lego, to bring together, and latro, to bark or bluster; possibly from lex, law, and latens, unknown. Hence, a company of men brought together to bluster, or a company of law makers who know nothing about law. <hr style="clear: both;" /> LEISURE From Eng., lazy, and sure; assured laziness. <hr style="clear: both;" /> LENT A Church fast that is slow to go; or something loaned which is slow to come back. <hr style="clear: both;" /> LIE A very poor substitute for the truth but the only one discovered up to date. <hr style="clear: both;" /> LIMBURGER A native of Germany strong enough to do housework; well recommended for cleaning out the dining-room. <hr style="clear: both;" /> LIBRARY From Fr. libre, meaning free, and proper name ANDY. Something free from Andy Carnegie. <hr style="clear: both;" /> LINKS Found in sausages and golf courses, and both full of hazards. <hr style="clear: both;" /> LION A cruel beast who never patronizes the barber and is always bearded in his den, yet will furnish a close shave if you get near enough. <hr style="clear: both;" /> LOBSTER <div class="imgl" style="width: 25%;"> <ANTIMG border="0" src="images/lobster.png" width-obs="90%" alt="Lobster" /></div> The edible lobster is found off the New England Coast. The two-legged species is found everywhere. All kinds are green, but when roasted turn a bright red. Soubrettes are very dependent on both varieties for a living; together they furnish her with food, raiment, flats, diamonds, and occasionally indigestion. <hr style="clear: both;" /> LOBSTER-NEWBURG A dish ordered at hotels by those who usually get beans at home. <hr style="clear: both;" /> LOVE A man's insane desire to become a woman's meal-ticket. <hr style="clear: both;" /> LOVER An ardent admirer who says, "Yes, dearest, I will shovel the snow of the lake so that we can go skating!" and, after marriage remarks, "What! Shovel the snow off the walk for you? Well, I should say not! I'm no chore boy." </div> <hr style="width: 33%;" /> <h3>Hell is paved with good intentions—also asbestos.</h3> <div class="fig"> <ANTIMG border="0" src="images/m.png" alt="M" /></div> <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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