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Foolish Dictionary, The

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<h3>Aim at a chorus-girl and you may hit a star.—Stage-Door Secrets.</h3> <div class="block">ICE A substance frequently associated with a tumble in winter, a tumbler in summer, and a skate the year around. <hr style="clear: both;" /> ICEMAN A cool proposition who has Axe-cess to the best families, makes his Weigh in every home and can take his Pick in the kitchen, if he leaves his Chips in the street. "How'd You Like to be The Iceman?" <hr style="clear: both;" /> IDIOT From Eng. idea, and out. One who is just out of ideas. <hr style="clear: both;" /> IDLE Useless. IDOLIZE To make useless. <hr style="clear: both;" /> IMPECUNIOUS To be in a state of poverty. From Eng. in, and Lat. pecco, to sin, poverty being the greatest of all sins. <hr style="clear: both;" /> IMPERIOUS From Eng. imp, devil and aerial, airy. Airy as the devil. <hr style="clear: both;" /> INCANDESCENT LIGHT <div class="imgl" style="width: 30%;"> <ANTIMG border="0" src="images/incandescent.png" width-obs="90%" alt="Incandescent Light" /></div> From Lat. incendo, to burn, and Eng. cent, meaning money. An invention for burning money. <hr style="clear: both;" /> INCOME The reliable offspring of a wise investment. From Lat. in and coma, meaning sleep. Money which works while you sleep. <hr style="clear: both;" /> INDEPENDENCE Self government. Good enough for a Cuban, but too good for a Filipino. <hr style="clear: both;" /> INDIGESTION A distressing stomach trouble that is sometimes temporarily relieved by kicking the cat or whipping the children. <hr style="clear: both;" /> INDIVIDUALITY A harmless trait possessed by one's self. The same trait in others is downright idiocy. <hr style="clear: both;" /> INDORSE To write on the back of; the best indorsed man in town being the Sandwich-Man. <hr style="clear: both;" /> INFANT A disturber of the peace. INFANTRY A defender of the peace. <hr style="clear: both;" /> INHABITANT A native of any village, town or city. OLDEST INHABITANT The Champion Liar. <hr style="clear: both;" /> INTUITION A fictitious quality in females—really Suspicion. <hr style="clear: both;" /> IRRITANT Something which irritates. COUNTER IRRITANT A woman shopping. <hr style="clear: both;" /> ISLAND A place where the bottom of the sea sticks up through the water. <hr style="clear: both;" /> ISOLATION From Eng. ice, meaning cold, and Lat. solus, alone. Alone in the cold. </div> <hr style="width: 33%;" /> <h3>After dinner sit a while, after supper walk a mile- And every meal's a supper to the Hobo.</h3> <div class="fig"> <ANTIMG border="0" src="images/j.png" alt="J" /></div> <h3>Lies have no legs—That's why we all have to stand for them.</h3> <div class="block">JACK An instrument requiring a strong arm, and used for raising heavy weights, or for pulling off the boots. JACK-POT An instrument requiring a strong hand, and used for raising heavy bets, or for pulling off the stakes. <hr style="clear: both;" /> JAG From the Spanish word zaga, meaning a load packed on the outside of a van. In America the load is packed on the inside of a man. <hr style="clear: both;" /> JAM <div class="imgl" style="width: 30%;"> <ANTIMG border="0" src="images/jam.png" width-obs="90%" alt="jam" /></div> A pantry composition in A minor. <hr style="clear: both;" /> JANITOR From jangle, to quarrel, and torrid, meaning hot. Hot and quarrelsome. <hr style="clear: both;" /> JELLY-CAKE Synonym for Belly-Ache. <hr style="clear: both;" /> JERSEY Well knit. NEW JERSEY Well bit. (See Mosquito). <hr style="clear: both;" /> JEW'S HARP <div class="imgl" style="width: 30%;"> <ANTIMG border="0" src="images/jewsharp.png" width-obs="90%" alt="Jew's Harp" /></div> From Jew, a Hebrew, and Harp, a musical instrument, the Jew's musical instrument being a "Sell low!" (Old spelling, Cello). <hr style="clear: both;" /> JIMMY An implement employed by men of acquisitive natures who cannot afford seats in the Stock Exchange. <hr style="clear: both;" /> JOB An uncertain commodity regulated by a Union Card. <hr style="clear: both;" /> JOCKEY From jog, to move slowly, and key, something that makes fast. Hence, one who makes the pace fast or slow, according to instructions. <hr style="clear: both;" /> JOINT Either a low limb from the butcher, or a low quarter in town; in either case the lower the tougher. <hr style="clear: both;" /> JOKE A form of humor enjoyed by some and misunderstood by most; in England, requiring a diagram, raised letters and a club. <hr style="clear: both;" /> JOLLY v. t., To "con" or "josh." JOLLY BOAT The Ship of State. <hr style="clear: both;" /> JUDGE One who sits on a bench in a court, frames sentences and finishes crooks for a living, and swears continually. <hr style="clear: both;" /> JULEP An insidious friend from the South, who hands you a mint and gives you a sweet spirit, followed shortly by a Bun. <hr style="clear: both;" /> JURY Twelve men chosen to decide who has the better lawyer. <hr style="clear: both;" /> JUSTICE Fair play; often sought, but seldom discovered, in company with Law. </div> <hr style="width: 33%;" /> <h3>A chip of the old block—A daughter of the Tenderloin.</h3> <div class="fig"> <ANTIMG border="0" src="images/k.png" alt="K" /></div> <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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