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Foolish Dictionary, The

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<h3>Don't put all your eggs in one basket—try an incubator.</h3> <div class="block">CAB Affair for a drive. CABBY Driver for a fare. <hr style="clear: both;" /> CACHINNATION <div class="imgl" style="width: 30%;"> <ANTIMG border="0" src="images/cachinnation.png" width-obs="90%" alt="cachinnation" /></div> The hysterical "Ha-Ha." Syn. for Carrie Nation. <hr style="clear: both;" /> CADDIE A small boy, employed at a liberal stipend to lose balls for others and find them for himself. <hr style="clear: both;" /> CAFE A place where the public pays the proprietor for the privilege of tipping the waiters for something to eat. <hr style="clear: both;" /> CAJOLE v. t., From Grk. kalos, beautiful, and Eng. jolly, to jolly beautifully. <hr style="clear: both;" /> CALCIUM An earthly light that brightens even the stars. <hr style="clear: both;" /> CANNIBAL A heathen hobo who never works, but lives on other people. <hr style="clear: both;" /> CAPTIVATE From Lat. caput, head, and Eng. vacate, or empty,—to empty the head. Note, Women who have captivated men. <hr style="clear: both;" /> CAPE A neck in the sea. CAPER A foot in the air. <hr style="clear: both;" /> CARNEGIE-ITIS <div class="imgl" style="width: 25%;"> <ANTIMG border="0" src="images/carnegie.png" width-obs="70%" alt="carnegie" /></div> A mania for burning money. Contracted in a Pennsylvania blast furnace, developed in a Scotch castle and now epidemic in American public libraries. <hr style="clear: both;" /> CART v. t., To take off. CARTOON The take-off. <hr style="clear: both;" /> CAULIFLOWER A Cabbage with a college education. <hr style="clear: both;" /> CAVALRY That arm of the military service that engages in the real hoss-tilities. <hr style="clear: both;" /> CEMETERY The one place where princes and paupers, porters and presidents are finally on the dead level. <hr style="clear: both;" /> CHAMPAGNE The stuff that makes the world go round. <hr style="clear: both;" /> CHAIR Four-legged aid to the injured. CHARITY Forehanded aid to the indigent. <hr style="clear: both;" /> CHAUFFEUR A man who is smart enough to operate an automobile, but clever enough not to own one. <hr style="clear: both;" /> CHRISTIAN A member of any orthodox church. <hr style="clear: both;" /> CHRISTMAS A widely observed holiday on which the past nor the future is of so much interest as the present. <hr style="clear: both;" /> CHUMP Any one whose opinion differs radically from ours. <hr style="clear: both;" /> CIGARETTE A weed whose smoke, some say, should never be inhaled, and still more insist should never be exhaled. <hr style="clear: both;" /> CINDER One of the first things to catch your eye in travelling. <hr style="clear: both;" /> CIVILIZATION An upward growth or tendency that has enabled mankind to develop the college yell from what was once only a feeble war-whoop. <hr style="clear: both;" /> COLLECTOR A man whom few care to see but many ask to call again. <hr style="clear: both;" /> COLLEGE From Fr. colle, pasted or stuck, and etude, study. A place where everyone is stuck on study. (?) <hr style="clear: both;" /> COLONEL <div class="imgl" style="width: 30%;"> <ANTIMG border="0" src="images/colonel.png" width-obs="90%" alt="colonel" /></div> A male resident of Kentucky. See KERNEL. <hr style="clear: both;" /> COMPLIMENT v. t., From Eng. con,—hot air, and Lat. pleo, to fill. Hence, to fill with hot air. <hr style="clear: both;" /> COMPLEXION Color for the face. From Eng. complex, difficult, and shun, to avoid. To avoid difficulty, buy it of the druggist. <hr style="clear: both;" /> COMMENDATION From Eng. con, a josh, and mend, to fix up. Hence, a fixed-up josh. <hr style="clear: both;" /> CONDUCTOR From Eng. coin, and Lat. duco, to command. One who commands the coin. <hr style="clear: both;" /> CONSCIENCE The fear of being found out. <hr style="clear: both;" /> COOK A charitable institution, providing food and shelter for Policemen. <hr style="clear: both;" /> CORPS A big bunch of fighters. (Dist. bet. cores found in apples and corps found in arms). <hr style="clear: both;" /> CORSET From Fr. corps, shape, and sec, rough. Rough on the shape. <hr style="clear: both;" /> COSMETIC A new face-maker. From Grk. kosmos, order, and Eng. medic, or doctor,—ordered by the doctor. (See Complexion.) <hr style="clear: both;" /> COT A snooze for one. COTILLON A dance for eight. <hr style="clear: both;" /> CREDIT Something for nothing. CREDITOR Something with nothing. <hr style="clear: both;" /> CREDULITY A feminine virtue and a masculine vice. <hr style="clear: both;" /> CREMATION A means of disposing of the dead likely to become very popular, especially with women who are so fond of having the last retort. <hr style="clear: both;" /> CRITIC A wet blanket that soaks everything it touches. <hr style="clear: both;" /> CROOK One who exceeds the speed limit in Law & Order Ave. A Misfit in the Straight and Narrow Way. <hr style="clear: both;" /> CROW A bird that never complains without caws. <hr style="clear: both;" /> CULTURE A degree of mental development that produces tailor-made women, fantastically-sheared poodles and dock tailed horses. <hr style="clear: both;" /> CUPID A driver of sharp darts. CUPIDITY A driver of sharp deals. <hr style="clear: both;" /> CYNIC A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. </div> <hr style="width: 33%;" /> <h3>All work and no play makes Jack A Dead One.</h3> <div class="fig"> <ANTIMG border="0" src="images/d.png" alt="D" /></div> <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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