<h2><SPAN name="CHAPTER_VIII" id="CHAPTER_VIII"></SPAN>Uncle Joe and Aunt Melinda</h2>
<p>The opinion prevails all
through the truly rural
districts that the big
cities are for the most
part given over to Confidence
Men.</p>
<p>And the strange part
is that the opinion is
correct.</p>
<p>But it should not be assumed that all the
people in, say, Buffalo, are moral derelicts—there
are many visitors there, most of
the time, from other sections.</p>
<p>And while at all times one should exercise
caution, yet to assume that the party who
is “fresh” is intent on high crimes and
misdemeanors may be a rather hasty and
unjust generalization.</p>
<p>For instance, there are Uncle Joe and
Aunt Melinda, who live eight miles back
from East Aurora, at Wales Hollow. They
had been married for forty-seven years,
and had never taken a wedding-journey.
They decided to go to Buffalo and spend
<span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="page92" id="page92">[Pg 92]</SPAN></span>
two days at a hotel regardless of expense.</p>
<p>Much had been told them about the
Confidence Men who hang around the
railroad-station, and they were prepared.</p>
<p>They arrived at East Aurora, where
they were to take the train, an hour ahead
of time. The Jerkwater came in and
they were duly seated, when all at once
Uncle Joe rushed for the door, jumped
off and made for the waiting-room looking
for his carpetbag. It was on the train all
right, but he just forgot, and feeling sure
he had left it in the station made the
grand skirmish as aforesaid.</p>
<p>The result was that the train went off
and left your Uncle Joseph.</p>
<p>Aunt Melinda was much exercised, but
the train-hands pacified her by assurances
that her husband would follow on the next
train, and she should simply wait for him
in the depot at Buffalo.</p>
<p>Now the Flyer was right behind the Jerkwater,
and Uncle Joe took the Flyer and
got to Buffalo first. When the Jerkwater
<span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="page93" id="page93">[Pg 93]</SPAN></span>
came in, Uncle Joe was on the platform
waiting for Aunt Melinda.</p>
<p>As she disembarked he approached her.</p>
<p>She shied and passed on.</p>
<p>He persisted in his attentions.</p>
<p>Then it was that she shook her umbrella
at him and bade him hike. The eternally
feminine in her nature prompted self-preservation.
She banked on her reason—woman’s
reason—not her intuition. She
had started first—her husband could only
come on a later train.</p>
<p>“Go ’way and leave me alone,” she
shouted in shrill falsetto. “You have got
yourself up to look like my Joe—and
that idiotic grin on your homely face is
just like my Joe, but no city sharper can
fool me, and if you don’t go right along
I’ll call for the perlice!”</p>
<p>She called for the police, and Uncle Joe
had to show a strawberry-mark to prove
his identity, before he received recognition.</p>
<hr class="full"/>
<p class="cintro">
<span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="page96" id="page96">[Pg 96]</SPAN></span>
To be your brother’s keeper is beautiful
if you do not cease to be his friend.</p>
<span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="page97" id="page97">[Pg 97]</SPAN></span>
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