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<h1> LIFE ON THE MISSISSIPPI </h1>
<h2> BY MARK TWAIN </h2>
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<h2> Chapter 1 </h2>
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<h3> The River and Its History </h3>
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<p>THE Mississippi is well worth reading about. It is not a commonplace
river, but on the contrary is in all ways remarkable. Considering the
Missouri its main branch, it is the longest river in the world—four
thousand three hundred miles. It seems safe to say that it is also the
crookedest river in the world, since in one part of its journey it uses up
one thousand three hundred miles to cover the same ground that the crow
would fly over in six hundred and seventy-five. It discharges three times
as much water as the St. Lawrence, twenty-five times as much as the Rhine,
and three hundred and thirty-eight times as much as the Thames. No other
river has so vast a drainage-basin: it draws its water supply from
twenty-eight States and Territories; from Delaware, on the Atlantic
seaboard, and from all the country between that and Idaho on the Pacific
slope—a spread of forty-five degrees of longitude. The Mississippi
receives and carries to the Gulf water from fifty-four subordinate rivers
that are navigable by steamboats, and from some hundreds that are
navigable by flats and keels. The area of its drainage-basin is as great
as the combined areas of England, Wales, Scotland, Ireland, France, Spain,
Portugal, Germany, Austria, Italy, and Turkey; and almost all this wide
region is fertile; the Mississippi valley, proper, is exceptionally so.</p>
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<p>It is a remarkable river in this: that instead of widening toward its
mouth, it grows narrower; grows narrower and deeper. From the junction of
the Ohio to a point half way down to the sea, the width averages a mile in
high water: thence to the sea the width steadily diminishes, until, at the
'Passes,' above the mouth, it is but little over half a mile. At the
junction of the Ohio the Mississippi's depth is eighty-seven feet; the
depth increases gradually, reaching one hundred and twenty-nine just above
the mouth.</p>
<p>The difference in rise and fall is also remarkable—not in the upper,
but in the lower river. The rise is tolerably uniform down to Natchez
(three hundred and sixty miles above the mouth)—about fifty feet.
But at Bayou La Fourche the river rises only twenty-four feet; at New
Orleans only fifteen, and just above the mouth only two and one half.</p>
<p>An article in the New Orleans 'Times-Democrat,' based upon reports of able
engineers, states that the river annually empties four hundred and six
million tons of mud into the Gulf of Mexico—which brings to mind
Captain Marryat's rude name for the Mississippi—'the Great Sewer.'
This mud, solidified, would make a mass a mile square and two hundred and
forty-one feet high.</p>
<p>The mud deposit gradually extends the land—but only gradually; it
has extended it not quite a third of a mile in the two hundred years which
have elapsed since the river took its place in history. The belief of the
scientific people is, that the mouth used to be at Baton Rouge, where the
hills cease, and that the two hundred miles of land between there and the
Gulf was built by the river. This gives us the age of that piece of
country, without any trouble at all—one hundred and twenty thousand
years. Yet it is much the youthfullest batch of country that lies around
there anywhere.</p>
<p>The Mississippi is remarkable in still another way—its disposition
to make prodigious jumps by cutting through narrow necks of land, and thus
straightening and shortening itself. More than once it has shortened
itself thirty miles at a single jump! These cut-offs have had curious
effects: they have thrown several river towns out into the rural
districts, and built up sand bars and forests in front of them. The town
of Delta used to be three miles below Vicksburg: a recent cutoff has
radically changed the position, and Delta is now <i>two miles above</i>
Vicksburg.</p>
<p>Both of these river towns have been retired to the country by that
cut-off. A cut-off plays havoc with boundary lines and jurisdictions: for
instance, a man is living in the State of Mississippi to-day, a cut-off
occurs to-night, and to-morrow the man finds himself and his land over on
the other side of the river, within the boundaries and subject to the laws
of the State of Louisiana! Such a thing, happening in the upper river in
the old times, could have transferred a slave from Missouri to Illinois
and made a free man of him.</p>
<p>The Mississippi does not alter its locality by cut-offs alone: it is
always changing its habitat <i>bodily</i>—is always moving bodily <i>sidewise</i>.
At Hard Times, La., the river is two miles west of the region it used to
occupy. As a result, the original <i>site </i>of that settlement is not now in
Louisiana at all, but on the other side of the river, in the State of
Mississippi. <i>Nearly the whole of that one thousand three hundred miles of
old mississippi river which la salle floated down in his canoes, two
hundred years ago, is good solid dry ground now</i>. The river lies to the
right of it, in places, and to the left of it in other places.</p>
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<p>Although the Mississippi's mud builds land but slowly, down at the mouth,
where the Gulfs billows interfere with its work, it builds fast enough in
better protected regions higher up: for instance, Prophet's Island
contained one thousand five hundred acres of land thirty years ago; since
then the river has added seven hundred acres to it.</p>
<p>But enough of these examples of the mighty stream's eccentricities for the
present—I will give a few more of them further along in the book.</p>
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<p>Let us drop the Mississippi's physical history, and say a word about its
historical history—so to speak. We can glance briefly at its
slumbrous first epoch in a couple of short chapters; at its second and
wider-awake epoch in a couple more; at its flushest and widest-awake epoch
in a good many succeeding chapters; and then talk about its comparatively
tranquil present epoch in what shall be left of the book.</p>
<p>The world and the books are so accustomed to use, and over-use, the word
'new' in connection with our country, that we early get and permanently
retain the impression that there is nothing old about it. We do of course
know that there are several comparatively old dates in American history,
but the mere figures convey to our minds no just idea, no distinct
realization, of the stretch of time which they represent. To say that De
Soto, the first white man who ever saw the Mississippi River, saw it in
1542, is a remark which states a fact without interpreting it: it is
something like giving the dimensions of a sunset by astronomical
measurements, and cataloguing the colors by their scientific names;—as
a result, you get the bald fact of the sunset, but you don't see the
sunset. It would have been better to paint a picture of it.</p>
<p>The date 1542, standing by itself, means little or nothing to us; but when
one groups a few neighboring historical dates and facts around it, he adds
perspective and color, and then realizes that this is one of the American
dates which is quite respectable for age.</p>
<p>For instance, when the Mississippi was first seen by a white man, less
than a quarter of a century had elapsed since Francis I.'s defeat at
Pavia; the death of Raphael; the death of Bayard, <i>Sans Peur Et Sans
Reproche</i>; the driving out of the Knights-Hospitallers from Rhodes by the
Turks; and the placarding of the Ninety-Five Propositions,—the act
which began the Reformation. When De Soto took his glimpse of the river,
Ignatius Loyola was an obscure name; the order of the Jesuits was not yet
a year old; Michael Angelo's paint was not yet dry on the Last Judgment in
the Sistine Chapel; Mary Queen of Scots was not yet born, but would be
before the year closed. Catherine de Medici was a child; Elizabeth of
England was not yet in her teens; Calvin, Benvenuto Cellini, and the
Emperor Charles V. were at the top of their fame, and each was
manufacturing history after his own peculiar fashion; Margaret of Navarre
was writing the 'Heptameron' and some religious books,—the first
survives, the others are forgotten, wit and indelicacy being sometimes
better literature preservers than holiness; lax court morals and the
absurd chivalry business were in full feather, and the joust and the
tournament were the frequent pastime of titled fine gentlemen who could
fight better than they could spell, while religion was the passion of
their ladies, and classifying their offspring into children of full rank
and children by brevet their pastime.</p>
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<p>In fact, all around, religion was in a peculiarly blooming condition: the
Council of Trent was being called; the Spanish Inquisition was roasting,
and racking, and burning, with a free hand; elsewhere on the continent the
nations were being persuaded to holy living by the sword and fire; in
England, Henry VIII. had suppressed the monasteries, burnt Fisher and
another bishop or two, and was getting his English reformation and his
harem effectively started. When De Soto stood on the banks of the
Mississippi, it was still two years before Luther's death; eleven years
before the burning of Servetus; thirty years before the St. Bartholomew
slaughter; Rabelais was not yet published; 'Don Quixote' was not yet
written; Shakespeare was not yet born; a hundred long years must still
elapse before Englishmen would hear the name of Oliver Cromwell.</p>
<p>Unquestionably the discovery of the Mississippi is a datable fact which
considerably mellows and modifies the shiny newness of our country, and
gives her a most respectable outside-aspect of rustiness and antiquity.</p>
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<p>De Soto merely glimpsed the river, then died and was buried in it by his
priests and soldiers. One would expect the priests and the soldiers to
multiply the river's dimensions by ten—the Spanish custom of the day—and
thus move other adventurers to go at once and explore it. On the contrary,
their narratives when they reached home, did not excite that amount of
curiosity. The Mississippi was left unvisited by whites during a term of
years which seems incredible in our energetic days. One may 'sense' the
interval to his mind, after a fashion, by dividing it up in this way:
After De Soto glimpsed the river, a fraction short of a quarter of a
century elapsed, and then Shakespeare was born; lived a trifle more than
half a century, then died; and when he had been in his grave considerably
more than half a century, the <i>second </i>white man saw the Mississippi. In our
day we don't allow a hundred and thirty years to elapse between glimpses
of a marvel. If somebody should discover a creek in the county next to the
one that the North Pole is in, Europe and America would start fifteen
costly expeditions thither: one to explore the creek, and the other
fourteen to hunt for each other.</p>
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<p>For more than a hundred and fifty years there had been white settlements
on our Atlantic coasts. These people were in intimate communication with
the Indians: in the south the Spaniards were robbing, slaughtering,
enslaving and converting them; higher up, the English were trading beads
and blankets to them for a consideration, and throwing in civilization and
whiskey, 'for lagniappe;' and in Canada the French were schooling them in
a rudimentary way, missionarying among them, and drawing whole populations
of them at a time to Quebec, and later to Montreal, to buy furs of them.
Necessarily, then, these various clusters of whites must have heard of the
great river of the far west; and indeed, they did hear of it vaguely,—so
vaguely and indefinitely, that its course, proportions, and locality were
hardly even guessable. The mere mysteriousness of the matter ought to have
fired curiosity and compelled exploration; but this did not occur.
Apparently nobody happened to want such a river, nobody needed it, nobody
was curious about it; so, for a century and a half the Mississippi
remained out of the market and undisturbed. When De Soto found it, he was
not hunting for a river, and had no present occasion for one; consequently
he did not value it or even take any particular notice of it.</p>
<p>But at last La Salle the Frenchman conceived the idea of seeking out that
river and exploring it. It always happens that when a man seizes upon a
neglected and important idea, people inflamed with the same notion crop up
all around. It happened so in this instance.</p>
<p>Naturally the question suggests itself, Why did these people want the
river now when nobody had wanted it in the five preceding generations?
Apparently it was because at this late day they thought they had
discovered a way to make it useful; for it had come to be believed that
the Mississippi emptied into the Gulf of California, and therefore
afforded a short cut from Canada to China. Previously the supposition had
been that it emptied into the Atlantic, or Sea of Virginia.</p>
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