<h2><SPAN name="chap09"></SPAN>CHAPTER IX</h2>
<p class="poem">
Priscian a little scratch’d;<br/>
’Twill serve.<br/>
—Love’s Labour Lost.</p>
<p>Having made the reader acquainted with the manner in which Ishmael Bush had
disposed of his family, under circumstances that might have proved so
embarrassing to most other men, we shall again shift the scene a few short
miles from the place last described, preserving, however, the due and natural
succession of time. At the very moment that the squatter and his sons departed
in the manner mentioned in the preceding chapter, two men were intently
occupied in a swale that lay along the borders of a little run, just out of
cannon-shot from the encampment, discussing the merits of a savoury
bison’s hump, that had been prepared for their palates with the utmost
attention to the particular merits of that description of food. The choice
morsel had been judiciously separated from the adjoining and less worthy parts
of the beast, and, enveloped in the hairy coating provided by nature, it had
duly undergone the heat of the customary subterraneous oven, and was now laid
before its proprietors in all the culinary glory of the prairies. So far as
richness, delicacy, and wildness of flavour, and substantial nourishment were
concerned, the viand might well have claimed a decided superiority over the
meretricious cookery and laboured compounds of the most renowned artist; though
the service of the dainty was certainly achieved in a manner far from
artificial. It would appear that the two fortunate mortals, to whose happy lot
it fell to enjoy a meal in which health and appetite lent so keen a relish to
the exquisite food of the American deserts, were far from being insensible of
the advantage they possessed.</p>
<p>The one, to whose knowledge in the culinary art the other was indebted for his
banquet, seemed the least disposed of the two to profit by his own skill. He
ate, it is true, and with a relish; but it was always with the moderation with
which age is apt to temper the appetite. No such restraint, however, was
imposed on the inclination of his companion. In the very flower of his days and
in the vigour of manhood, the homage that he paid to the work of his more aged
friend’s hands was of the most profound and engrossing character. As one
delicious morsel succeeded another he rolled his eyes towards his companion,
and seemed to express that gratitude which he had not speech to utter, in looks
of the most benignant nature.</p>
<p>“Cut more into the heart of it, lad,” said the trapper, for it was
the venerable inhabitant of those vast wastes, who had served the bee-hunter
with the banquet in question; “cut more into the centre of the piece;
there you will find the genuine riches of natur’; and that without need
from spices, or any of your biting mustard to give it a foreign relish.”</p>
<p>“If I had but a cup of metheglin,” said Paul, stopping to perform
the necessary operation of breathing, “I should swear this was the
strongest meal that was ever placed before the mouth of man!”</p>
<p>“Ay, ay, well you may call it strong!” returned the other, laughing
after his peculiar manner, in pure satisfaction at witnessing the infinite
contentment of his companion; “strong it is, and strong it makes him who
eats it! Here, Hector,” tossing the patient hound, who was watching his
eye with a wistful look, a portion of the meat, “you have need of
strength, my friend, in your old days as well as your master. Now, lad, there
is a dog that has eaten and slept wiser and better, ay, and that of richer
food, than any king of them all! and why? because he has used and not abused
the gifts of his Maker. He was made a hound, and like a hound has he feasted.
Then did He create men; but they have eaten like famished wolves! A good and
prudent dog has Hector proved, and never have I found one of his breed false in
nose or friendship. Do you know the difference between the cookery of the
wilderness and that which is found in the settlements? No; I see plainly you
don’t, by your appetite; then I will tell you. The one follows man, the
other natur’. One thinks he can add to the gifts of the Creator, while
the other is humble enough to enjoy them; therein lies the secret.”</p>
<p>“I tell you, trapper,” said Paul, who was very little edified by
the morality with which his associate saw fit to season their repast,
“that, every day while we are in this place, and they are likely to be
many, I will shoot a buffaloe and you shall cook his hump!”</p>
<p>“I cannot say that, I cannot say that. The beast is good, take him in
what part you will, and it was to be food for man that he was fashioned; but I
cannot say that I will be a witness and a helper to the waste of killing one
daily.”</p>
<p>“The devil a bit of waste shall there be, old man. If they all turn out
as good as this, I will engage to eat them clean myself, even to the
hoofs;—how now, who comes here! some one with a long nose, I will answer;
and one that has led him on a true scent, if he is following the trail of a
dinner.”</p>
<p>The individual who interrupted the conversation, and who had elicited the
foregoing remark of Paul, was seen advancing along the margin of the run with a
deliberate pace, in a direct line for the two revellers. As there was nothing
formidable nor hostile in his appearance, the bee-hunter, instead of suspending
his operations, rather increased his efforts, in a manner which would seem to
imply that he doubted whether the hump would suffice for the proper
entertainment of all who were now likely to partake of the delicious morsel.
With the trapper, however, the case was different. His more tempered appetite
was already satisfied, and he faced the new comer with a look of cordiality,
that plainly evinced how very opportune he considered his arrival.</p>
<p>“Come on, friend,” he said, waving his hand, as he observed the
stranger to pause a moment, apparently in doubt. “Come on, I say, if
hunger be your guide, it has led you to a fitting place. Here is meat, and this
youth can give you corn, parch’d till it be whiter than the upland snow;
come on, without fear. We are not ravenous beasts, eating of each other, but
Christian men, receiving thankfully that which the Lord hath seen fit to
give.”</p>
<p>“Venerable hunter,” returned the Doctor, for it was no other than
the naturalist on one of his daily exploring expeditions, “I rejoice
greatly at this happy meeting; we are lovers of the same pursuits, and should
be friends.”</p>
<p>“Lord, Lord!” said the old man, laughing, without much deference to
the rules of decorum, in the philosopher’s very face, “it is the
man who wanted to make me believe that a name could change the natur’ of
a beast! Come, friend; you are welcome, though your notions are a little
blinded with reading too many books. Sit ye down, and, after eating of this
morsel, tell me, if you can, the name of the creatur’ that has bestowed
on you its flesh for a meal?”</p>
<p>The eyes of Doctor Battius (for we deem it decorous to give the good man the
appellation he most preferred) sufficiently denoted the satisfaction with which
he listened to this proposal. The exercise he had taken, and the sharpness of
the wind, proved excellent stimulants; and Paul himself had hardly been in
better plight to do credit to the trapper’s cookery, than was the lover
of nature, when the grateful invitation met his ears. Indulging in a small
laugh, which his exertions to repress reduced nearly to a simper, he took the
indicated seat by the old man’s side, and made the customary dispositions
to commence his meal without further ceremony.</p>
<p>“I should be ashamed of my profession,” he said, swallowing a
morsel of the hump with evident delight, slily endeavouring at the same time to
distinguish the peculiarities of the singed and defaced skin, “I ought to
be ashamed of my profession, were there beast, or bird, on the continent of
America, that I could not tell by some one of the many evidences which science
has enlisted in her cause. This—then—the food is nutritious and
savoury—a mouthful of your corn, friend, if you please?”</p>
<p>Paul, who continued eating with increasing industry, looking askaunt not unlike
a dog when engaged in the same agreeable pursuit, threw him his pouch, without
deeming it at all necessary to suspend his own labours.</p>
<p>“You were saying, friend, that you have many ways of telling the
creatur’?”—observed the attentive trapper.</p>
<p>“Many; many and infallible. Now, the animals that are carnivorous are
known by their incisores.”</p>
<p>“Their what?” demanded the trapper.</p>
<p>“The teeth with which nature has furnished them for defence, and in order
to tear their food. Again—”</p>
<p>“Look you then for the teeth of this creatur’,” interrupted
the trapper, who was bent on convincing a man who had presumed to enter into
competition with himself, in matters pertaining to the wilds, of gross
ignorance; “turn the piece round and find your inside-overs.”</p>
<p>The Doctor complied, and of course without success; though he profited by the
occasion to take another fruitless glance at the wrinkled hide.</p>
<p>“Well, friend, do you find the things you need, before you can pronounce
the creatur’ a duck or a salmon?”</p>
<p>“I apprehend the entire animal is not here?”</p>
<p>“You may well say as much,” cried Paul, who was now compelled to
pause from pure repletion; “I will answer for some pounds of the fellow,
weighed by the truest steel-yards west of the Alleghanies. Still you may make
out to keep soul and body together, with what is left,” reluctantly
eyeing a piece large enough to feed twenty men, but which he felt compelled to
abandon from satiety; “cut in nigher to the heart, as the old man says,
and you will find the riches of the piece.”</p>
<p>“The heart!” exclaimed the Doctor, inwardly delighted to learn
there was a distinct organ to be submitted to his inspection. “Ay, let me
see the heart—it will at once determine the character of the
animal—certes this is not the cor—ay, sure enough it is—the
animal must be of the order belluae, from its obese habits!”</p>
<p>He was interrupted by a long and hearty, but still a noiseless fit of
merriment, from the trapper, which was considered so ill-timed by the offended
naturalist, as to produce an instant cessation of speech, if not a stagnation
of ideas.</p>
<p>“Listen to his beasts’ habits and belly orders,” said the old
man, delighted with the evident embarrassment of his rival; “and then he
says it is not the core! Why, man, you are farther from the truth than you are
from the settlements, with all your bookish larning and hard words; which I
have, once for all, said cannot be understood by any tribe or nation east of
the Rocky Mountains. Beastly habits or no beastly habits, the creatur’s
are to be seen cropping the prairies by tens of thousands, and the piece in
your hand is the core of as juicy a buffaloe-hump as stomach need crave!”</p>
<p>“My aged companion,” said Obed, struggling to keep down a rising
irascibility, that he conceived would ill comport with the dignity of his
character, “your system is erroneous, from the premises to the
conclusion; and your classification so faulty, as utterly to confound the
distinctions of science. The buffaloe is not gifted with a hump at all; nor is
his flesh savoury and wholesome, as I must acknowledge it would seem the
subject before us may well be characterised—”</p>
<p>“There I’m dead against you, and clearly with the trapper,”
interrupted Paul Hover. “The man who denies that buffaloe beef is good,
should scorn to eat it!”<SPAN href="#linknote-13" name="linknoteref-13" id="linknoteref-13"><sup>[13]</sup></SPAN></p>
<p>The Doctor, whose observation of the bee-hunter had hitherto been exceedingly
cursory, stared at the new speaker with a look which denoted something like
recognition.</p>
<p>“The principal characteristics of your countenance, friend,” he
said, “are familiar; either you, or some other specimen of your class, is
known to me.”</p>
<p>“I am the man you met in the woods east of the big river, and whom you
tried to persuade to line a yellow hornet to his nest: as if my eye was not too
true to mistake any other animal for a honey-bee, in a clear day! We tarried
together a week, as you may remember; you at your toads and lizards, and I at
my high-holes and hollow trees: and a good job we made of it between us! I
filled my tubs with the sweetest honey I ever sent to the settlements, besides
housing a dozen hives; and your bag was near bursting with a crawling museum. I
never was bold enough to put the question to your face, stranger, but I reckon
you are a keeper of curiosities?”<SPAN href="#linknote-14"
name="linknoteref-14" id="linknoteref-14"><sup>[14]</sup></SPAN></p>
<p>“Ay! that is another of their wanton wickednesses!” exclaimed the
trapper. “They slay the buck, and the moose, and the wild cat, and all
the beasts that range the woods, and stuffing them with worthless rags, and
placing eyes of glass into their heads, they set them up to be stared at, and
call them the creatur’s of the Lord; as if any mortal effigy could equal
the works of his hand!”</p>
<p>“I know you well,” returned the Doctor, on whom the plaint of the
old man produced no visible impression. “I know you,” offering his
hand cordially to Paul; “it was a prolific week, as my herbal and
catalogues shall one day prove. Ay, I remember you well, young man. You are of
the class, mammalia; order, primates; genus, homo; species, Kentucky.”
Pausing to smile at his own humour, the naturalist proceeded. “Since our
separation, I have journeyed far, having entered into a compactum or agreement
with a certain man named Ishmael—”</p>
<p>“Bush!” interrupted the impatient and reckless Paul. “By the
Lord, trapper, this is the very blood-letter that Ellen told me of!”</p>
<p>“Then Nelly has not done me credit for what I trust I deserve,”
returned the single-minded Doctor, “for I am not of the phlebotomising
school at all; greatly preferring the practice which purifies the blood instead
of abstracting it.”</p>
<p>“It was a blunder of mine, good stranger; the girl called you a skilful
man.”</p>
<p>“Therein she may have exceeded my merits,” Dr. Battius continued,
bowing with sufficient meekness. “But Ellen is a good, and a kind, and a
spirited girl, too. A kind and a sweet girl I have ever found Nell Wade to
be!”</p>
<p>“The devil you have!” cried Paul, dropping the morsel he was
sucking, from sheer reluctance to abandon the hump, and casting a fierce and
direct look into the very teeth of the unconscious physician. “I reckon,
stranger, you have a mind to bag Ellen, too!”</p>
<p>“The riches of the whole vegetable and animal world united, would not
tempt me to harm a hair of her head! I love the child, with what may he called
amor naturalis—or rather paternus—the affection of a father.”</p>
<p>“Ay—that, indeed, is more befitting the difference in your
years,” Paul coolly rejoined, stretching forth his hand to regain the
rejected morsel. “You would be no better than a drone at your time of
day, with a young hive to feed and swarm.”</p>
<p>“Yes, there is reason, because there is natur’, in what he
says,” observed the trapper: “but, friend, you have said you were a
dweller in the camp of one Ishmael Bush?”</p>
<p>“True; it is in virtue of a compactum—”</p>
<p>“I know but little of the virtue of packing, though I follow trapping, in
my old age, for a livelihood. They tell me that skins are well kept in the new
fashion; but it is long since I have left off killing more than I need for food
and garments. I was an eye-witness, myself, of the manner in which the Siouxes
broke into your encampment, and drove off the cattle; stripping the poor man
you call Ishmael of his smallest hoofs, counting even the cloven feet.”</p>
<p>“Asinus excepted,” muttered the Doctor, who by this time was
discussing his portion of the hump, in utter forgetfulness of all its
scientific attributes. “Asinus domesticus Americanus excepted.”</p>
<p>“I am glad to hear that so many of them are saved, though I know not the
value of the animals you name; which is nothing uncommon, seeing how long it is
that I have been out of the settlements. But can you tell me, friend, what the
traveller carries under the white cloth, he guards with teeth as sharp as a
wolf that quarrels for the carcass the hunter has left?”</p>
<p>“You’ve heard of it!” exclaimed the other, dropping the
morsel he was conveying to his mouth in manifest surprise.</p>
<p>“Nay, I have heard nothing; but I have seen the cloth, and had like to
have been bitten for no greater crime than wishing to know what it
covered.”</p>
<p>“Bitten! then, after all, the animal must be carnivorous! It is too
tranquil for the ursus horridus; if it were the canis latrans, the voice would
betray it. Nor would Nelly Wade be so familiar with any of the genus ferae.
Venerable hunter! the solitary animal confined in that wagon by day, and in the
tent at night, has occasioned me more perplexity of mind than the whole
catalogue of quadrupeds besides: and for this plain reason; I did not know how
to class it.”</p>
<p>“You think it a ravenous beast?”</p>
<p>“I know it to be a quadruped: your own danger proves it to be
carnivorous.”</p>
<p>During this broken explanation, Paul Hover had sat silent and thoughtful,
regarding each speaker with deep attention. But, suddenly moved by the manner
of the Doctor, the latter had scarcely time to utter his positive assertion,
before the young man bluntly demanded—</p>
<p>“And pray, friend, what may you call a quadruped?”</p>
<p>“A vagary of nature, wherein she has displayed less of her infinite
wisdom than is usual. Could rotary levers be substituted for two of the limbs,
agreeably to the improvement in my new order of phalangacrura, which might be
rendered into the vernacular as lever-legged, there would be a delightful
perfection and harmony in the construction. But, as the quadruped is now
formed, I call it a mere vagary of nature; no other than a vagary.”</p>
<p>“Harkee, stranger! in Kentucky we are but small dealers in dictionaries.
Vagary is as hard a word to turn into English as quadruped.”</p>
<p>“A quadruped is an animal with four legs—a beast.”</p>
<p>“A beast! Do you then reckon that Ishmael Bush travels with a beast caged
in that wagon?”</p>
<p>“I know it, and lend me your ear—not literally, friend,”
observing Paul to start and look surprised, “but figuratively, through
its functions, and you shall hear. I have already made known that, in virtue of
a compactum, I journey with the aforesaid Ishmael Bush; but though I am bound
to perform certain duties while the journey lasts, there is no condition which
says that the said journey shall be sempiternum, or eternal. Now, though this
region may scarcely be said to be wedded to science, being to all intents a
virgin territory as respects the enquirer into natural history, still it is
greatly destitute of the treasures of the vegetable kingdom. I should,
therefore, have tarried some hundreds of miles more to the eastward, were it
not for the inward propensity that I feel to have the beast in question
inspected and suitably described and classed. For that matter,” he
continued, dropping his voice, like one who imparts an important secret,
“I am not without hopes of persuading Ishmael to let me dissect
it.”</p>
<p>“You have seen the creature?”</p>
<p>“Not with the organs of sight; but with much more infallible instruments
of vision: the conclusions of reason, and the deductions of scientific
premises. I have watched the habits of the animal, young man; and can
fearlessly pronounce, by evidence that would be thrown away on ordinary
observers, that it is of vast dimensions, inactive, possibly torpid, of
voracious appetite, and, as it now appears by the direct testimony of this
venerable hunter, ferocious and carnivorous!”</p>
<p>“I should be better pleased, stranger,” said Paul, on whom the
Doctor’s description was making a very sensible impression, “to be
sure the creature was a beast at all.”</p>
<p>“As to that, if I wanted evidence of a fact, which is abundantly apparent
by the habits of the animal, I have the word of Ishmael himself. A reason can
be given for my smallest deductions. I am not troubled, young man, with a
vulgar and idle curiosity, but all my aspirations after knowledge, as I humbly
believe, are, first, for the advancement of learning, and, secondly, for the
benefit of my fellow-creatures. I pined greatly in secret to know the contents
of the tent, which Ishmael guarded so carefully, and which he had covenanted
that I should swear, (jurare per deos) not to approach nigher than a defined
number of cubits, for a definite period of time. Your jusjurandum, or oath, is
a serious matter, and not to be dealt in lightly; but, as my expedition
depended on complying, I consented to the act, reserving to myself at all times
the power of distant observation. It is now some ten days since Ishmael,
pitying the state in which he saw me, a humble lover of science, imparted the
fact that the vehicle contained a beast, which he was carrying into the
prairies as a decoy, by which he intends to entrap others of the same genus, or
perhaps species. Since then, my task has been reduced simply to watch the
habits of the animal, and to record the results. When we reach a certain
distance where these beasts are said to abound, I am to have the liberal
examination of the specimen.”</p>
<p>Paul continued to listen, in the most profound silence, until the Doctor
concluded his singular but characteristic explanation; then the incredulous
bee-hunter shook his head, and saw fit to reply, by saying—</p>
<p>“Stranger, old Ishmael has burrowed you in the very bottom of a hollow
tree, where your eyes will be of no more use than the sting of a drone. I, too,
know something of that very wagon, and I may say that I have lined the squatter
down into a flat lie. Harkee, friend; do you think a girl, like Ellen Wade,
would become the companion of a wild beast?”</p>
<p>“Why not? why not?” repeated the naturalist; “Nelly has a
taste, and often listens with pleasure to the treasures that I am sometimes
compelled to scatter in this desert. Why should she not study the habits of any
animal, even though it were a rhinoceros?”</p>
<p>“Softly, softly,” returned the equally positive, and, though less
scientific, certainly, on this subject, better instructed bee-hunter;
“Ellen is a girl of spirit, and one too that knows her own mind, or
I’m much mistaken; but with all her courage and brave looks, she is no
better than a woman after all. Haven’t I often had the girl
crying—”</p>
<p>“You are an acquaintance, then, of Nelly’s?”</p>
<p>“The devil a bit. But I know woman is woman; and all the books in
Kentucky couldn’t make Ellen Wade go into a tent alone with a ravenous
beast!”</p>
<p>“It seems to me,” the trapper calmly observed, “that there is
something dark and hidden in this matter. I am a witness that the traveller
likes none to look into the tent, and I have a proof more sure than what either
of you can lay claim to, that the wagon does not carry the cage of a beast.
Here is Hector, come of a breed with noses as true and faithful as a hand that
is all-powerful has made any of their kind, and had there been a beast in the
place, the hound would long since have told it to his master.”</p>
<p>“Do you pretend to oppose a dog to a man! brutality to learning! instinct
to reason!” exclaimed the Doctor in some heat. “In what manner,
pray, can a hound distinguish the habits, species, or even the genus of an
animal, like reasoning, learned, scientific, triumphant man!”</p>
<p>“In what manner!” coolly repeated the veteran woodsman.
“Listen; and if you believe that a schoolmaster can make a quicker wit
than the Lord, you shall be made to see how much you’re mistaken. Do you
not hear something move in the brake? it has been cracking the twigs these five
minutes. Now tell me what the creatur’ is?”</p>
<p>“I hope nothing ferocious!” exclaimed the Doctor, who still
retained a lively impression of his rencounter with the vespertilio horribilis.
“You have rifles, friends; would it not be prudent to prime them? for
this fowling piece of mine is little to be depended on.”</p>
<p>“There may be reason in what he says,” returned the trapper, so far
complying as to take his piece from the place where it had lain during the
repast, and raising its muzzle in the air. “Now tell me the name of the
creatur’?”</p>
<p>“It exceeds the limits of earthly knowledge! Buffon himself could not
tell whether the animal was a quadruped, or of the order, serpens! a sheep, or
a tiger!”</p>
<p>“Then was your buffoon a fool to my Hector! Here: pup!—What is it,
dog?—Shall we run it down, pup—or shall we let it pass?”</p>
<p>The hound, which had already manifested to the experienced trapper, by the
tremulous motion of his ears, his consciousness of the proximity of a strange
animal, lifted his head from his fore paws and slightly parted his lips, as if
about to show the remnants of his teeth. But, suddenly abandoning his hostile
purpose, he snuffed the air a moment, gaped heavily, shook himself, and
peaceably resumed his recumbent attitude.</p>
<p>“Now, Doctor,” cried the trapper, triumphantly, “I am well
convinced there is neither game nor ravenous beast in the thicket; and that I
call substantial knowledge to a man who is too old to be a spendthrift of his
strength, and yet who would not wish to be a meal for a panther!”</p>
<p>The dog interrupted his master by a growl, but still kept his head crouched to
the earth.</p>
<p>“It is a man!” exclaimed the trapper, rising. “It is a man,
if I am a judge of the creatur’s ways. There is but little said atwixt
the hound and me, but we seldom mistake each other’s meaning!”</p>
<p>Paul Hover sprang to his feet like lightning; and, throwing forward his rifle,
he cried in a voice of menace—</p>
<p>“Come forward, if a friend; if an enemy, stand ready for the
worst!”</p>
<p>“A friend, a white man, and, I hope, a Christian,” returned a voice
from the thicket; which opened at the same instant, and at the next the speaker
made his appearance.</p>
<p class="footnote">
<SPAN name="linknote-13" id="linknote-13"></SPAN> <SPAN href="#linknoteref-13">[13]</SPAN>
It is scarcely necessary to tell the reader, that the animal so often
alluded to in this book, and which is vulgarly called the buffaloe, is in truth
the bison; hence so many contretemps between the men of the prairies and the
men of science.</p>
<p class="footnote">
<SPAN name="linknote-14" id="linknote-14"></SPAN> <SPAN href="#linknoteref-14">[14]</SPAN>
The pursuit of a bee-hunter is not uncommon, on the skirts of American society,
though it is a little embellished here. When the bees are seen sucking the
flowers, their pursuer contrives to capture one or two. He then chooses a
proper spot, and suffering one to escape, the insect invariably takes its
flight towards the hive. Changing his ground to a greater or less distance
according to circumstances, the bee-hunter then permits another to escape.
Having watched the courses of the bees, which is technically called lining, he
is enabled to calculate the intersecting angle of the two lines, which is the
hive.</p>
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