<h2><span class="num" title="Page 59">‌</span><SPAN name="p59" id="p59"></SPAN><SPAN name="VII" id="VII"></SPAN><abbr title="7.">VII</abbr> <br/> <small>SELF-CONTROL</small></h2>
<blockquote class="poem"><div class="stanza">
<span class="i0">He only earns his freedom and existence<br/></span>
<span class="i0">Who daily conquers them anew.<br/></span></div>
<p class="sig">Goethe.</p>
</blockquote>
<p><span class="smcap">A good</span> many writers on self-control and kindred subjects insist that we
shall conscientiously and consciously govern our mental lives. They say,
“You must get up in the morning with determination to be cheerful.” They
insist that in spite of annoyance or trouble you shall keep a smiling
face, and affirm to yourself over and over again the denial of
annoyance.</p>
<p>I do not like this kind of self-control. I wish I could admire it and
approve it, but I find I cannot because it seems to me self-conscious
and superficial. It is better than nothing and unquestionably adds
greatly to the sum of human happiness. But I do not think we ought to be
cheerful if we are consumed with<span class="num" title="Page 60">‌</span><SPAN name="p60" id="p60"></SPAN> trouble and sorrow. The fact is we
ought not to be for long beyond a natural cheerfulness that comes from
the deepest possible sources. While we are sad, let us be so, simply and
naturally; but we must pray that the light may come to us in our sorrow,
that we may be able soon and naturally to put aside the signs of
mourning.</p>
<p>The person who thinks little of his own attitude of mind is more likely
to be well controlled and to radiate happiness than one who must
continually prompt himself to worthy thoughts. The man whose heart is
great with understanding of the sorrow and pathos of life is far more
apt to be brave and fine in his own trouble than one who must look to a
motto or a formula for consolation and advice. Deep in the lives of
those who permanently triumph over sorrow there is an abiding peace and
joy. Such peace cannot come even from ample experience in the material
world. Despair comes from that experi<span class="num" title="Page 61">‌</span><SPAN name="p61" id="p61"></SPAN>ence sometimes, unless the heart
is open to the vital spirit that lies beyond all material things, that
creates and renews life and that makes it indescribably beautiful and
significant. Experience of material things is only the beginning. In it
and through it we may have experience of the wider life that surrounds
the material.</p>
<p>Our hearts must be opened to the courage that comes unbidden when we
feel ourselves to be working, growing parts of the universe of God. Then
we shall have no more sorrow and no more joy in the pitiful sense of the
earth, but rather an exaltation which shall make us masters of these and
of ourselves. We shall have a sympathy and charity that shall need no
promptings, but that flow from us spontaneously into the world of
suffering and need.</p>
<p>Beethoven was of a sour temper, according to all accounts, but he wrote
his symphonies in the midst of tribulations under which few men would have<span class="num" title="Page 62">‌</span><SPAN name="p62" id="p62"></SPAN>
worked at all. When we have felt something of the spirit that makes work
inevitable, it will be as though we had heard the eternal harmonies. We
shall write our symphonies, build our bridges, or do our lesser tasks
with dauntless purpose, even though the possessions that men count dear
are taken from us. Suppose we can do very little because of some
infirmity: if that little has in it the larger inspiration, it will be
enough to make life full and fine. The joy of a wider life is not
obtainable in its completeness; it is only through a lifetime of service
and experience that we can approach it. That is the proof of its divine
origin—its unattainableness. “God keep you from the she wolf and from
your heart’s deepest desire,” is an old saying of the Rumanians. If we
fully obtain our desires, we prove their unworthiness. Does any one
suppose that Beethoven attained his whole heart’s desire in his music?
He might have done so had he been a lesser man.<span class="num" title="Page 63">‌</span><SPAN name="p63" id="p63"></SPAN> He was not a cheerful
companion. That is unfortunate, and shows that he failed in complete
inspiration and in the ordinary kind of self-control. He was at least
sincere, and that helped not a little to make him what he was. I would
almost rather a man would be morose and sincere than cheerful from a
sense of duty.</p>
<p>Our knowledge of the greater things of life must always be substantiated
and worked out into realities of service, or else we shall be weak and
ineffective. The charity that balks at giving, reacts upon a man and
deadens him. I am always insisting that we must not live and serve
through a sense of duty, but that we must find the inspiration first. It
is better to give ourselves to service not for the sake of finding God,
but because we have found Him and because our souls have grown in the
finding until we cannot help giving. If we have grown to such a stature
we shall be able to meet sorrow and loss bravely and simply. We shall
feel for ourselves and<span class="num" title="Page 64">‌</span><SPAN name="p64" id="p64"></SPAN> for others in their troubles as Forbes Robertson
did when he wrote to his friend who had met with a great loss: “I pray
that you may never, never, never get over this sorrow, but through it,
into it, into the very heart of God.” All this is very unworldly, no
doubt, and yet I will venture the assertion that such a standard and
such a method will come nearer to the mark of successful and
well-controlled living than the most carefully planned campaign of duty.
If we plan to make life fine, if we say, in effect, “I will be good and
cheerful, no matter what happens,” we are beginning at the wrong end. We
may be able to work back from our mottoes to real living, but the
chances are we shall stop somewhere by the way, too confused and
uncertain to go on. Self-control, at its best, is not a conscious thing.
It is not well that we should try to be good, but that we should so
dignify our lives with the spirit of good that evil becomes well-nigh
impossible to us.</p>
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