<SPAN name="startofbook"></SPAN>
<h1> THE ALCHEMIST </h1>
<p><br/></p>
<h2> By Ben Jonson </h2>
<p><br/></p>
<hr />
<p><SPAN name="link2H_4_0003" id="link2H_4_0003"></SPAN></p>
<h2> DRAMATIS PERSONAE. </h2>
<h3> SUBTLE, the Alchemist. </h3>
<p>FACE, the Housekeeper.</p>
<p>DOL COMMON, their Colleague.</p>
<p>DAPPER, a Lawyer's Clerk.</p>
<p>DRUGGER, a Tobacco Man.</p>
<p>LOVEWIT, Master of the House.</p>
<p>SIR EPICURE MAMMON, a Knight.</p>
<p>PERTINAX SURLY, a Gamester.</p>
<p>TRIBULATION WHOLESOME, a Pastor of Amsterdam.</p>
<p>ANANIAS, a Deacon there.</p>
<p>KASTRIL, the angry Boy.</p>
<p>DAME PLIANT, his Sister, a Widow.</p>
<p>Neighbours.</p>
<p>Officers, Attendants, etc.</p>
<p>SCENE,—LONDON. <SPAN name="link2H_4_0004" id="link2H_4_0004"></SPAN></p>
<h2> ARGUMENT. </h2>
<p>T he sickness hot, a master quit, for fear,<br/>
H is house in town, and left one servant there;<br/>
E ase him corrupted, and gave means to know<br/>
<br/>
A Cheater, and his punk; who now brought low,<br/>
L eaving their narrow practice, were become<br/>
C ozeners at large; and only wanting some<br/>
H ouse to set up, with him they here contract,<br/>
E ach for a share, and all begin to act.<br/>
M uch company they draw, and much abuse,<br/>
I n casting figures, telling fortunes, news,<br/>
S elling of flies, flat bawdry with the stone,<br/>
T ill it, and they, and all in fume are gone.<br/></p>
<p><SPAN name="link2H_PROL" id="link2H_PROL"></SPAN></p>
<h2> PROLOGUE. </h2>
<p>Fortune, that favours fools, these two short hours,<br/>
We wish away, both for your sakes and ours,<br/>
Judging spectators; and desire, in place,<br/>
To the author justice, to ourselves but grace.<br/>
Our scene is London, 'cause we would make known,<br/>
No country's mirth is better than our own:<br/>
No clime breeds better matter for your whore,<br/>
Bawd, squire, impostor, many persons more,<br/>
Whose manners, now call'd humours, feed the stage;<br/>
And which have still been subject for the rage<br/>
Or spleen of comic writers. Though this pen<br/>
Did never aim to grieve, but better men;<br/>
Howe'er the age he lives in doth endure<br/>
The vices that she breeds, above their cure.<br/>
But when the wholesome remedies are sweet,<br/>
And in their working gain and profit meet,<br/>
He hopes to find no spirit so much diseased,<br/>
But will with such fair correctives be pleased:<br/>
For here he doth not fear who can apply.<br/>
If there be any that will sit so nigh<br/>
Unto the stream, to look what it doth run,<br/>
They shall find things, they'd think or wish were done;<br/>
They are so natural follies, but so shewn,<br/>
As even the doers may see, and yet not own.<br/></p>
<p><SPAN name="link2H_4_0006" id="link2H_4_0006"></SPAN></p>
<h2> ACT 1. SCENE 1.1. </h2>
<p>A ROOM IN LOVEWIT'S HOUSE.<br/>
<br/>
ENTER FACE, IN A CAPTAIN'S UNIFORM, WITH HIS SWORD DRAWN, AND<br/>
SUBTLE WITH A VIAL, QUARRELLING, AND FOLLOWED BY DOL COMMON.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Believe 't, I will.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Thy worst. I fart at thee.<br/>
<br/>
DOL. Have you your wits? why, gentlemen! for love—<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Sirrah, I'll strip you—<br/>
<br/>
SUB. What to do? lick figs<br/>
Out at my—<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Rogue, rogue!—out of all your sleights.<br/>
<br/>
DOL. Nay, look ye, sovereign, general, are you madmen?<br/>
<br/>
SUB. O, let the wild sheep loose. I'll gum your silks<br/>
With good strong water, an you come.<br/>
<br/>
DOL. Will you have<br/>
The neighbours hear you? will you betray all?<br/>
Hark! I hear somebody.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Sirrah—<br/>
<br/>
SUB. I shall mar<br/>
All that the tailor has made, if you approach.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. You most notorious whelp, you insolent slave,<br/>
Dare you do this?<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Yes, faith; yes, faith.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Why, who<br/>
Am I, my mungrel? who am I?<br/>
<br/>
SUB. I'll tell you.,<br/>
Since you know not yourself.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Speak lower, rogue.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Yes, you were once (time's not long past) the good,<br/>
Honest, plain, livery-three-pound-thrum, that kept<br/>
Your master's worship's house here in the Friars,<br/>
For the vacations—<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Will you be so loud?<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Since, by my means, translated suburb-captain.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. By your means, doctor dog!<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Within man's memory,<br/>
All this I speak of.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Why, I pray you, have I<br/>
Been countenanced by you, or you by me?<br/>
Do but collect, sir, where I met you first.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. I do not hear well.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Not of this, I think it.<br/>
But I shall put you in mind, sir;—at Pie-corner,<br/>
Taking your meal of steam in, from cooks' stalls,<br/>
Where, like the father of hunger, you did walk<br/>
Piteously costive, with your pinch'd-horn-nose,<br/>
And your complexion of the Roman wash,<br/>
Stuck full of black and melancholic worms,<br/>
Like powder corns shot at the artillery-yard.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. I wish you could advance your voice a little.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. When you went pinn'd up in the several rags<br/>
You had raked and pick'd from dunghills, before day;<br/>
Your feet in mouldy slippers, for your kibes;<br/>
A felt of rug, and a thin threaden cloke,<br/>
That scarce would cover your no buttocks—<br/>
<br/>
SUB. So, sir!<br/>
<br/>
FACE. When all your alchemy, and your algebra,<br/>
Your minerals, vegetals, and animals,<br/>
Your conjuring, cozening, and your dozen of trades,<br/>
Could not relieve your corps with so much linen<br/>
Would make you tinder, but to see a fire;<br/>
I gave you countenance, credit for your coals,<br/>
Your stills, your glasses, your materials;<br/>
Built you a furnace, drew you customers,<br/>
Advanced all your black arts; lent you, beside,<br/>
A house to practise in—<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Your master's house!<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Where you have studied the more thriving skill<br/>
Of bawdry since.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Yes, in your master's house.<br/>
You and the rats here kept possession.<br/>
Make it not strange. I know you were one could keep<br/>
The buttery-hatch still lock'd, and save the chippings,<br/>
Sell the dole beer to aqua-vitae men,<br/>
The which, together with your Christmas vails<br/>
At post-and-pair, your letting out of counters,<br/>
Made you a pretty stock, some twenty marks,<br/>
And gave you credit to converse with cobwebs,<br/>
Here, since your mistress' death hath broke up house.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. You might talk softlier, rascal.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. No, you scarab,<br/>
I'll thunder you in pieces: I will teach you<br/>
How to beware to tempt a Fury again,<br/>
That carries tempest in his hand and voice.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. The place has made you valiant.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. No, your clothes.—<br/>
Thou vermin, have I ta'en thee out of dung,<br/>
So poor, so wretched, when no living thing<br/>
Would keep thee company, but a spider, or worse?<br/>
Rais'd thee from brooms, and dust, and watering-pots,<br/>
Sublimed thee, and exalted thee, and fix'd thee<br/>
In the third region, call'd our state of grace?<br/>
Wrought thee to spirit, to quintessence, with pains<br/>
Would twice have won me the philosopher's work?<br/>
Put thee in words and fashion, made thee fit<br/>
For more than ordinary fellowships?<br/>
Giv'n thee thy oaths, thy quarrelling dimensions,<br/>
Thy rules to cheat at horse-race, cock-pit, cards,<br/>
Dice, or whatever gallant tincture else?<br/>
Made thee a second in mine own great art?<br/>
And have I this for thanks! Do you rebel,<br/>
Do you fly out in the projection?<br/>
Would you be gone now?<br/>
<br/>
DOL. Gentlemen, what mean you?<br/>
Will you mar all?<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Slave, thou hadst had no name—<br/>
<br/>
DOL. Will you undo yourselves with civil war?<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Never been known, past equi clibanum,<br/>
The heat of horse-dung, under ground, in cellars,<br/>
Or an ale-house darker than deaf John's; been lost<br/>
To all mankind, but laundresses and tapsters,<br/>
Had not I been.<br/>
<br/>
DOL. Do you know who hears you, sovereign?<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Sirrah—<br/>
<br/>
DOL. Nay, general, I thought you were civil.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. I shall turn desperate, if you grow thus loud.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. And hang thyself, I care not.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Hang thee, collier,<br/>
And all thy pots, and pans, in picture, I will,<br/>
Since thou hast moved me—<br/>
<br/>
DOL. O, this will o'erthrow all.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Write thee up bawd in Paul's, have all thy tricks<br/>
Of cozening with a hollow cole, dust, scrapings,<br/>
Searching for things lost, with a sieve and sheers,<br/>
Erecting figures in your rows of houses,<br/>
And taking in of shadows with a glass,<br/>
Told in red letters; and a face cut for thee,<br/>
Worse than Gamaliel Ratsey's.<br/>
<br/>
DOL. Are you sound?<br/>
Have you your senses, masters?<br/>
<br/>
FACE. I will have<br/>
A book, but barely reckoning thy impostures,<br/>
Shall prove a true philosopher's stone to printers.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Away, you trencher-rascal!<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Out, you dog-leech!<br/>
The vomit of all prisons—<br/>
<br/>
DOL. Will you be<br/>
Your own destructions, gentlemen?<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Still spew'd out<br/>
For lying too heavy on the basket.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Cheater!<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Bawd!<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Cow-herd!<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Conjurer!<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Cut-purse!<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Witch!<br/>
<br/>
DOL. O me!<br/>
We are ruin'd, lost! have you no more regard<br/>
To your reputations? where's your judgment? 'slight,<br/>
Have yet some care of me, of your republic—<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Away, this brach! I'll bring thee, rogue, within<br/>
The statute of sorcery, tricesimo tertio<br/>
Of Harry the Eighth: ay, and perhaps thy neck<br/>
Within a noose, for laundring gold and barbing it.<br/>
<br/>
DOL [SNATCHES FACE'S SWORD]. You'll bring your head within<br/>
a cockscomb, will you?<br/>
And you, sir, with your menstrue—<br/>
[DASHES SUBTLE'S VIAL OUT OF HIS HAND.]<br/>
Gather it up.—<br/>
'Sdeath, you abominable pair of stinkards,<br/>
Leave off your barking, and grow one again,<br/>
Or, by the light that shines, I'll cut your throats.<br/>
I'll not be made a prey unto the marshal,<br/>
For ne'er a snarling dog-bolt of you both.<br/>
Have you together cozen'd all this while,<br/>
And all the world, and shall it now be said,<br/>
You've made most courteous shift to cozen yourselves?<br/>
[TO FACE.]<br/>
You will accuse him! you will "bring him in<br/>
Within the statute!" Who shall take your word?<br/>
A whoreson, upstart, apocryphal captain,<br/>
Whom not a Puritan in Blackfriars will trust<br/>
So much as for a feather:<br/>
[TO SUBTLE.]<br/>
and you, too,<br/>
Will give the cause, forsooth! you will insult,<br/>
And claim a primacy in the divisions!<br/>
You must be chief! as if you only had<br/>
The powder to project with, and the work<br/>
Were not begun out of equality?<br/>
The venture tripartite? all things in common?<br/>
Without priority? 'Sdeath! you perpetual curs,<br/>
Fall to your couples again, and cozen kindly,<br/>
And heartily, and lovingly, as you should,<br/>
And lose not the beginning of a term,<br/>
Or, by this hand, I shall grow factious too,<br/>
And take my part, and quit you.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. 'Tis his fault;<br/>
He ever murmurs, and objects his pains,<br/>
And says, the weight of all lies upon him.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Why, so it does.<br/>
<br/>
DOL. How does it? do not we<br/>
Sustain our parts?<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Yes, but they are not equal.<br/>
<br/>
DOL. Why, if your part exceed to-day, I hope<br/>
Ours may, to-morrow match it.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Ay, they MAY.<br/>
<br/>
DOL. May, murmuring mastiff! ay, and do. Death on me!<br/>
Help me to throttle him.<br/>
<br/>
[SEIZES SUB. BY THE THROAT.]<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Dorothy! mistress Dorothy!<br/>
'Ods precious, I'll do any thing. What do you mean?<br/>
<br/>
DOL. Because o' your fermentation and cibation?<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Not I, by heaven—<br/>
<br/>
DOL. Your Sol and Luna<br/>
[TO FACE.]<br/>
—help me.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Would I were hang'd then? I'll conform myself.<br/>
<br/>
DOL. Will you, sir? do so then, and quickly: swear.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. What should I swear?<br/>
<br/>
DOL. To leave your faction, sir,<br/>
And labour kindly in the common work.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Let me not breathe if I meant aught beside.<br/>
I only used those speeches as a spur<br/>
To him.<br/>
<br/>
DOL. I hope we need no spurs, sir. Do we?<br/>
<br/>
FACE. 'Slid, prove to-day, who shall shark best.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Agreed.<br/>
<br/>
DOL. Yes, and work close and friendly.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. 'Slight, the knot<br/>
Shall grow the stronger for this breach, with me.<br/>
<br/>
[THEY SHAKE HANDS.]<br/>
<br/>
DOL. Why, so, my good baboons! Shall we go make<br/>
A sort of sober, scurvy, precise neighbours,<br/>
That scarce have smiled twice since the king came in,<br/>
A feast of laughter at our follies? Rascals,<br/>
Would run themselves from breath, to see me ride,<br/>
Or you t' have but a hole to thrust your heads in,<br/>
For which you should pay ear-rent? No, agree.<br/>
And may don Provost ride a feasting long,<br/>
In his old velvet jerkin and stain'd scarfs,<br/>
My noble sovereign, and worthy general,<br/>
Ere we contribute a new crewel garter<br/>
To his most worsted worship.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Royal Dol!<br/>
Spoken like Claridiana, and thyself.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. For which at supper, thou shalt sit in triumph,<br/>
And not be styled Dol Common, but Dol Proper,<br/>
Dol Singular: the longest cut at night,<br/>
Shall draw thee for his Doll Particular.<br/>
<br/>
[BELL RINGS WITHOUT.]<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Who's that? one rings. To the window, Dol:<br/>
[EXIT DOL.]<br/>
—pray heaven,<br/>
The master do not trouble us this quarter.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. O, fear not him. While there dies one a week<br/>
O' the plague, he's safe, from thinking toward London.<br/>
Beside, he's busy at his hop-yards now;<br/>
I had a letter from him. If he do,<br/>
He'll send such word, for airing of the house,<br/>
As you shall have sufficient time to quit it:<br/>
Though we break up a fortnight, 'tis no matter.<br/>
<br/>
[RE-ENTER DOL.]<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Who is it, Dol?<br/>
<br/>
DOL. A fine young quodling.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. O,<br/>
My lawyer's clerk, I lighted on last night,<br/>
In Holborn, at the Dagger. He would have<br/>
(I told you of him) a familiar,<br/>
To rifle with at horses, and win cups.<br/>
<br/>
DOL. O, let him in.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Stay. Who shall do't?<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Get you<br/>
Your robes on: I will meet him as going out.<br/>
<br/>
DOL. And what shall I do?<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Not be seen; away!<br/>
[EXIT DOL.]<br/>
Seem you very reserv'd.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Enough.<br/>
<br/>
[EXIT.]<br/>
<br/>
FACE [ALOUD AND RETIRING]. God be wi' you, sir,<br/>
I pray you let him know that I was here:<br/>
His name is Dapper. I would gladly have staid, but—<br/>
<br/>
DAP [WITHIN]. Captain, I am here.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Who's that?—He's come, I think, doctor.<br/>
<br/>
[ENTER DAPPER.]<br/>
<br/>
Good faith, sir, I was going away.<br/>
<br/>
DAP. In truth<br/>
I am very sorry, captain.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. But I thought<br/>
Sure I should meet you.<br/>
<br/>
DAP. Ay, I am very glad.<br/>
I had a scurvy writ or two to make,<br/>
And I had lent my watch last night to one<br/>
That dines to-day at the sheriff's, and so was robb'd<br/>
Of my past-time.<br/>
[RE-ENTER SUBTLE IN HIS VELVET CAP AND GOWN.]<br/>
Is this the cunning-man?<br/>
<br/>
FACE. This is his worship.<br/>
<br/>
DAP. Is he a doctor?<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Yes.<br/>
<br/>
DAP. And have you broke with him, captain?<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Ay.<br/>
<br/>
DAP. And how?<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Faith, he does make the matter, sir, so dainty<br/>
I know not what to say.<br/>
<br/>
DAP. Not so, good captain.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Would I were fairly rid of it, believe me.<br/>
<br/>
DAP. Nay, now you grieve me, sir. Why should you wish so?<br/>
I dare assure you, I'll not be ungrateful.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. I cannot think you will, sir. But the law<br/>
Is such a thing—and then he says, Read's matter<br/>
Falling so lately.<br/>
<br/>
DAP. Read! he was an ass,<br/>
And dealt, sir, with a fool.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. It was a clerk, sir.<br/>
<br/>
DAP. A clerk!<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Nay, hear me, sir. You know the law<br/>
Better, I think—<br/>
<br/>
DAP. I should, sir, and the danger:<br/>
You know, I shewed the statute to you.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. You did so.<br/>
<br/>
DAP. And will I tell then! By this hand of flesh,<br/>
Would it might never write good court-hand more,<br/>
If I discover. What do you think of me,<br/>
That I am a chiaus?<br/>
<br/>
FACE. What's that?<br/>
<br/>
DAP. The Turk was here.<br/>
As one would say, do you think I am a Turk?<br/>
<br/>
FACE. I'll tell the doctor so.<br/>
<br/>
DAP. Do, good sweet captain.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Come, noble doctor, pray thee let's prevail;<br/>
This is the gentleman, and he is no chiaus.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Captain, I have return'd you all my answer.<br/>
I would do much, sir, for your love—But this<br/>
I neither may, nor can.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Tut, do not say so.<br/>
You deal now with a noble fellow, doctor,<br/>
One that will thank you richly; and he is no chiaus:<br/>
Let that, sir, move you.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Pray you, forbear—<br/>
<br/>
FACE. He has<br/>
Four angels here.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. You do me wrong, good sir.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Doctor, wherein? to tempt you with these spirits?<br/>
<br/>
SUB. To tempt my art and love, sir, to my peril.<br/>
Fore heaven, I scarce can think you are my friend,<br/>
That so would draw me to apparent danger.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. I draw you! a horse draw you, and a halter,<br/>
You, and your flies together—<br/>
<br/>
DAP. Nay, good captain.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. That know no difference of men.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Good words, sir.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Good deeds, sir, doctor dogs-meat. 'Slight, I bring you<br/>
No cheating Clim o' the Cloughs or Claribels,<br/>
That look as big as five-and-fifty, and flush;<br/>
And spit out secrets like hot custard—<br/>
<br/>
DAP. Captain!<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Nor any melancholic under-scribe,<br/>
Shall tell the vicar; but a special gentle,<br/>
That is the heir to forty marks a year,<br/>
Consorts with the small poets of the time,<br/>
Is the sole hope of his old grandmother;<br/>
That knows the law, and writes you six fair hands,<br/>
Is a fine clerk, and has his cyphering perfect.<br/>
Will take his oath o' the Greek Testament,<br/>
If need be, in his pocket; and can court<br/>
His mistress out of Ovid.<br/>
<br/>
DAP. Nay, dear captain—<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Did you not tell me so?<br/>
<br/>
DAP. Yes; but I'd have you<br/>
Use master doctor with some more respect.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Hang him, proud stag, with his broad velvet head!—<br/>
But for your sake, I'd choak, ere I would change<br/>
An article of breath with such a puckfist:<br/>
Come, let's be gone.<br/>
<br/>
[GOING.]<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Pray you let me speak with you.<br/>
<br/>
DAP. His worship calls you, captain.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. I am sorry<br/>
I e'er embark'd myself in such a business.<br/>
<br/>
DAP. Nay, good sir; he did call you.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Will he take then?<br/>
<br/>
SUB. First, hear me—<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Not a syllable, 'less you take.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Pray you, sir—<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Upon no terms but an assumpsit.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Your humour must be law.<br/>
[HE TAKES THE FOUR ANGELS.]<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Why now, sir, talk.<br/>
Now I dare hear you with mine honour. Speak.<br/>
So may this gentleman too.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Why, sir—<br/>
[OFFERING TO WHISPER FACE.]<br/>
<br/>
FACE. No whispering.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Fore heaven, you do not apprehend the loss<br/>
You do yourself in this.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Wherein? for what?<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Marry, to be so importunate for one,<br/>
That, when he has it, will undo you all:<br/>
He'll win up all the money in the town.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. How!<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Yes, and blow up gamester after gamester,<br/>
As they do crackers in a puppet-play.<br/>
If I do give him a familiar,<br/>
Give you him all you play for; never set him:<br/>
For he will have it.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. You are mistaken, doctor.<br/>
Why he does ask one but for cups and horses,<br/>
A rifling fly; none of your great familiars.<br/>
<br/>
DAP. Yes, captain, I would have it for all games.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. I told you so.<br/>
<br/>
FACE [TAKING DAP. ASIDE]. 'Slight, that is a new business!<br/>
I understood you, a tame bird, to fly<br/>
Twice in a term, or so, on Friday nights,<br/>
When you had left the office, for a nag<br/>
Of forty or fifty shillings.<br/>
<br/>
DAP. Ay, 'tis true, sir;<br/>
But I do think now I shall leave the law,<br/>
And therefore—<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Why, this changes quite the case.<br/>
Do you think that I dare move him?<br/>
<br/>
DAP. If you please, sir;<br/>
All's one to him, I see.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. What! for that money?<br/>
I cannot with my conscience; nor should you<br/>
Make the request, methinks.<br/>
<br/>
DAP. No, sir, I mean<br/>
To add consideration.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Why then, sir,<br/>
I'll try.—<br/>
[GOES TO SUBTLE.]<br/>
Say that it were for all games, doctor.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. I say then, not a mouth shall eat for him<br/>
At any ordinary, but on the score,<br/>
That is a gaming mouth, conceive me.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Indeed!<br/>
<br/>
SUB. He'll draw you all the treasure of the realm,<br/>
If it be set him.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Speak you this from art?<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Ay, sir, and reason too, the ground of art.<br/>
He is of the only best complexion,<br/>
The queen of Fairy loves.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. What! is he?<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Peace.<br/>
He'll overhear you. Sir, should she but see him—<br/>
<br/>
FACE. What?<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Do not you tell him.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Will he win at cards too?<br/>
<br/>
SUB. The spirits of dead Holland, living Isaac,<br/>
You'd swear, were in him; such a vigorous luck<br/>
As cannot be resisted. 'Slight, he'll put<br/>
Six of your gallants to a cloke, indeed.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. A strange success, that some man shall be born to.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. He hears you, man—<br/>
<br/>
DAP. Sir, I'll not be ingrateful.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Faith, I have confidence in his good nature:<br/>
You hear, he says he will not be ingrateful.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Why, as you please; my venture follows yours.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Troth, do it, doctor; think him trusty, and make him.<br/>
He may make us both happy in an hour;<br/>
Win some five thousand pound, and send us two on't.<br/>
<br/>
DAP. Believe it, and I will, sir.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. And you shall, sir.<br/>
[TAKES HIM ASIDE.]<br/>
You have heard all?<br/>
<br/>
DAP. No, what was't? Nothing, I, sir.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Nothing!<br/>
<br/>
DAP. A little, sir.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Well, a rare star<br/>
Reign'd at your birth.<br/>
<br/>
DAP. At mine, sir! No.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. The doctor<br/>
Swears that you are—<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Nay, captain, you'll tell all now.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Allied to the queen of Fairy.<br/>
<br/>
DAP. Who! that I am?<br/>
Believe it, no such matter—<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Yes, and that<br/>
You were born with a cawl on your head.<br/>
<br/>
DAP. Who says so?<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Come,<br/>
You know it well enough, though you dissemble it.<br/>
<br/>
DAP. I'fac, I do not; you are mistaken.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. How!<br/>
Swear by your fac, and in a thing so known<br/>
Unto the doctor? How shall we, sir, trust you<br/>
In the other matter? can we ever think,<br/>
When you have won five or six thousand pound,<br/>
You'll send us shares in't, by this rate?<br/>
<br/>
DAP. By Jove, sir,<br/>
I'll win ten thousand pound, and send you half.<br/>
I'fac's no oath.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. No, no, he did but jest.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Go to. Go thank the doctor: he's your friend,<br/>
To take it so.<br/>
<br/>
DAP. I thank his worship.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. So!<br/>
Another angel.<br/>
<br/>
DAP. Must I?<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Must you! 'slight,<br/>
What else is thanks? will you be trivial?—Doctor,<br/>
[DAPPER GIVES HIM THE MONEY.]<br/>
When must he come for his familiar?<br/>
<br/>
DAP. Shall I not have it with me?<br/>
<br/>
SUB. O, good sir!<br/>
There must a world of ceremonies pass;<br/>
You must be bath'd and fumigated first:<br/>
Besides the queen of Fairy does not rise<br/>
Till it be noon.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Not, if she danced, to-night.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. And she must bless it.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Did you never see<br/>
Her royal grace yet?<br/>
<br/>
DAP. Whom?<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Your aunt of Fairy?<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Not since she kist him in the cradle, captain;<br/>
I can resolve you that.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Well, see her grace,<br/>
Whate'er it cost you, for a thing that I know.<br/>
It will be somewhat hard to compass; but<br/>
However, see her. You are made, believe it,<br/>
If you can see her. Her grace is a lone woman,<br/>
And very rich; and if she take a fancy,<br/>
She will do strange things. See her, at any hand.<br/>
'Slid, she may hap to leave you all she has:<br/>
It is the doctor's fear.<br/>
<br/>
DAP. How will't be done, then?<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Let me alone, take you no thought. Do you<br/>
But say to me, captain, I'll see her grace.<br/>
<br/>
DAP. "Captain, I'll see her grace."<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Enough.<br/>
<br/>
[KNOCKING WITHIN.]<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Who's there?<br/>
Anon.<br/>
[ASIDE TO FACE.]<br/>
—Conduct him forth by the back way.—<br/>
Sir, against one o'clock prepare yourself;<br/>
Till when you must be fasting; only take<br/>
Three drops of vinegar in at your nose,<br/>
Two at your mouth, and one at either ear;<br/>
Then bathe your fingers' ends and wash your eyes,<br/>
To sharpen your five senses, and cry "hum"<br/>
Thrice, and then "buz" as often; and then come.<br/>
<br/>
[EXIT.]<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Can you remember this?<br/>
<br/>
DAP. I warrant you.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Well then, away. It is but your bestowing<br/>
Some twenty nobles 'mong her grace's servants,<br/>
And put on a clean shirt: you do not know<br/>
What grace her grace may do you in clean linen.<br/>
<br/>
[EXEUNT FACE AND DAPPER.]<br/>
<br/>
SUB [WITHIN]. Come in! Good wives, I pray you forbear me now;<br/>
Troth I can do you no good till afternoon—<br/>
[RE-ENTERS, FOLLOWED BY DRUGGER.]<br/>
What is your name, say you? Abel Drugger?<br/>
<br/>
DRUG. Yes, sir.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. A seller of tobacco?<br/>
<br/>
DRUG. Yes, sir.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Umph!<br/>
Free of the grocers?<br/>
<br/>
DRUG. Ay, an't please you.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Well—<br/>
Your business, Abel?<br/>
<br/>
DRUG. This, an't please your worship;<br/>
I am a young beginner, and am building<br/>
Of a new shop, an't like your worship, just<br/>
At corner of a street:—Here is the plot on't—<br/>
And I would know by art, sir, of your worship,<br/>
Which way I should make my door, by necromancy,<br/>
And where my shelves; and which should be for boxes,<br/>
And which for pots. I would be glad to thrive, sir:<br/>
And I was wish'd to your worship by a gentleman,<br/>
One captain Face, that says you know men's planets,<br/>
And their good angels, and their bad.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. I do,<br/>
If I do see them—<br/>
<br/>
[RE-ENTER FACE.]<br/>
<br/>
FACE. What! my honest Abel?<br/>
Though art well met here.<br/>
<br/>
DRUG. Troth, sir, I was speaking,<br/>
Just as your worship came here, of your worship:<br/>
I pray you speak for me to master doctor.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. He shall do any thing.—Doctor, do you hear?<br/>
This is my friend, Abel, an honest fellow;<br/>
He lets me have good tobacco, and he does not<br/>
Sophisticate it with sack-lees or oil,<br/>
Nor washes it in muscadel and grains,<br/>
Nor buries it in gravel, under ground,<br/>
Wrapp'd up in greasy leather, or piss'd clouts:<br/>
But keeps it in fine lily pots, that, open'd,<br/>
Smell like conserve of roses, or French beans.<br/>
He has his maple block, his silver tongs,<br/>
Winchester pipes, and fire of Juniper:<br/>
A neat, spruce, honest fellow, and no goldsmith.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. He is a fortunate fellow, that I am sure on.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Already, sir, have you found it? Lo thee, Abel!<br/>
<br/>
SUB. And in right way toward riches—<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Sir!<br/>
<br/>
SUB. This summer<br/>
He will be of the clothing of his company,<br/>
And next spring call'd to the scarlet; spend what he can.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. What, and so little beard?<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Sir, you must think,<br/>
He may have a receipt to make hair come:<br/>
But he'll be wise, preserve his youth, and fine for't;<br/>
His fortune looks for him another way.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. 'Slid, doctor, how canst thou know this so soon?<br/>
I am amused at that!<br/>
<br/>
SUB. By a rule, captain,<br/>
In metoposcopy, which I do work by;<br/>
A certain star in the forehead, which you see not.<br/>
Your chestnut or your olive-colour'd face<br/>
Does never fail: and your long ear doth promise.<br/>
I knew't by certain spots, too, in his teeth,<br/>
And on the nail of his mercurial finger.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Which finger's that?<br/>
<br/>
SUB. His little finger. Look.<br/>
You were born upon a Wednesday?<br/>
<br/>
DRUG. Yes, indeed, sir.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. The thumb, in chiromancy, we give Venus;<br/>
The fore-finger, to Jove; the midst, to Saturn;<br/>
The ring, to Sol; the least, to Mercury,<br/>
Who was the lord, sir, of his horoscope,<br/>
His house of life being Libra; which fore-shew'd,<br/>
He should be a merchant, and should trade with balance.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Why, this is strange! Is it not, honest Nab?<br/>
<br/>
SUB. There is a ship now, coming from Ormus,<br/>
That shall yield him such a commodity<br/>
Of drugs<br/>
[POINTING TO THE PLAN.]<br/>
—This is the west, and this the south?<br/>
<br/>
DRUG. Yes, sir.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. And those are your two sides?<br/>
<br/>
DRUG. Ay, sir.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Make me your door, then, south; your broad side, west:<br/>
And on the east side of your shop, aloft,<br/>
Write Mathlai, Tarmiel, and Baraborat;<br/>
Upon the north part, Rael, Velel, Thiel.<br/>
They are the names of those mercurial spirits,<br/>
That do fright flies from boxes.<br/>
<br/>
DRUG. Yes, sir.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. And<br/>
Beneath your threshold, bury me a load-stone<br/>
To draw in gallants that wear spurs: the rest,<br/>
They'll seem to follow.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. That's a secret, Nab!<br/>
<br/>
SUB. And, on your stall, a puppet, with a vice<br/>
And a court-fucus to call city-dames:<br/>
You shall deal much with minerals.<br/>
<br/>
DRUG. Sir, I have.<br/>
At home, already—<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Ay, I know you have arsenic,<br/>
Vitriol, sal-tartar, argaile, alkali,<br/>
Cinoper: I know all.—This fellow, captain,<br/>
Will come, in time, to be a great distiller,<br/>
And give a say—I will not say directly,<br/>
But very fair—at the philosopher's stone.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Why, how now, Abel! is this true?<br/>
<br/>
DRUG [ASIDE TO FACE]. Good captain,<br/>
What must I give?<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Nay, I'll not counsel thee.<br/>
Thou hear'st what wealth (he says, spend what thou canst,)<br/>
Thou'rt like to come to.<br/>
<br/>
DRUG. I would gi' him a crown.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. A crown! and toward such a fortune? heart,<br/>
Thou shalt rather gi' him thy shop. No gold about thee?<br/>
<br/>
DRUG. Yes, I have a portague, I have kept this half-year.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Out on thee, Nab! 'Slight, there was such an offer—<br/>
Shalt keep't no longer, I'll give't him for thee. Doctor,<br/>
Nab prays your worship to drink this, and swears<br/>
He will appear more grateful, as your skill<br/>
Does raise him in the world.<br/>
<br/>
DRUG. I would entreat<br/>
Another favour of his worship.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. What is't, Nab?<br/>
<br/>
DRUG. But to look over, sir, my almanack,<br/>
And cross out my ill-days, that I may neither<br/>
Bargain, nor trust upon them.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. That he shall, Nab:<br/>
Leave it, it shall be done, 'gainst afternoon.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. And a direction for his shelves.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Now, Nab,<br/>
Art thou well pleased, Nab?<br/>
<br/>
DRUG. 'Thank, sir, both your worships.<br/>
<br/>
FACE. Away.<br/>
[EXIT DRUGGER.]<br/>
Why, now, you smoaky persecutor of nature!<br/>
Now do you see, that something's to be done,<br/>
Beside your beech-coal, and your corsive waters,<br/>
Your crosslets, crucibles, and cucurbites?<br/>
You must have stuff brought home to you, to work on:<br/>
And yet you think, I am at no expense<br/>
In searching out these veins, then following them,<br/>
Then trying them out. 'Fore God, my intelligence<br/>
Costs me more money, than my share oft comes to,<br/>
In these rare works.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. You are pleasant, sir.<br/>
[RE-ENTER DOL.]<br/>
—How now!<br/>
What says my dainty Dolkin?<br/>
<br/>
DOL. Yonder fish-wife<br/>
Will not away. And there's your giantess,<br/>
The bawd of Lambeth.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Heart, I cannot speak with them.<br/>
<br/>
DOL. Not afore night, I have told them in a voice,<br/>
Thorough the trunk, like one of your familiars.<br/>
But I have spied sir Epicure Mammon—<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Where?<br/>
<br/>
DOL. Coming along, at far end of the lane,<br/>
Slow of his feet, but earnest of his tongue<br/>
To one that's with him.<br/>
<br/>
SUB. Face, go you and shift.<br/>
[EXIT FACE.]<br/>
Dol, you must presently make ready, too.<br/>
<br/>
DOL. Why, what's the matter?<br/>
<br/>
SUB. O, I did look for him<br/>
With the sun's rising: 'marvel he could sleep,<br/>
This is the day I am to perfect for him<br/>
The magisterium, our great work, the stone;<br/>
And yield it, made, into his hands: of which<br/>
He has, this month, talked as he were possess'd.<br/>
And now he's dealing pieces on't away.—<br/>
Methinks I see him entering ordinaries,<br/>
Dispensing for the pox, and plaguy houses,<br/>
Reaching his dose, walking Moorfields for lepers,<br/>
And offering citizens' wives pomander-bracelets,<br/>
As his preservative, made of the elixir;<br/>
Searching the spittal, to make old bawds young;<br/>
And the highways, for beggars, to make rich.<br/>
I see no end of his labours. He will make<br/>
Nature asham'd of her long sleep: when art,<br/>
Who's but a step-dame, shall do more than she,<br/>
In her best love to mankind, ever could:<br/>
If his dream lasts, he'll turn the age to gold.<br/>
<br/>
[EXEUNT.]<br/></p>
<div style="break-after:column;"></div><br />