<p><SPAN name="link2HCH0043" id="link2HCH0043"></SPAN></p>
<h2> CHAPTER IX </h2>
<p>The doctor's pretty housemaid stood waiting for me, with the street door
open in her hand. Pouring brightly into the hall, the morning light fell
full on the face of Mr. Candy's assistant when I turned, and looked at
him.</p>
<p>It was impossible to dispute Betteredge's assertion that the appearance of
Ezra Jennings, speaking from a popular point of view, was against him. His
gipsy-complexion, his fleshless cheeks, his gaunt facial bones, his dreamy
eyes, his extraordinary parti-coloured hair, the puzzling contradiction
between his face and figure which made him look old and young both
together—were all more or less calculated to produce an unfavourable
impression of him on a stranger's mind. And yet—feeling this as I
certainly did—it is not to be denied that Ezra Jennings made some
inscrutable appeal to my sympathies, which I found it impossible to
resist. While my knowledge of the world warned me to answer the question
which he had put, acknowledging that I did indeed find Mr. Candy sadly
changed, and then to proceed on my way out of the house—my interest
in Ezra Jennings held me rooted to the place, and gave him the opportunity
of speaking to me in private about his employer, for which he had been
evidently on the watch.</p>
<p>"Are you walking my way, Mr. Jennings?" I said, observing that he held his
hat in his hand. "I am going to call on my aunt, Mrs. Ablewhite."</p>
<p>Ezra Jennings replied that he had a patient to see, and that he was
walking my way.</p>
<p>We left the house together. I observed that the pretty servant girl—who
was all smiles and amiability, when I wished her good morning on my way
out—received a modest little message from Ezra Jennings, relating to
the time at which he might be expected to return, with pursed-up lips, and
with eyes which ostentatiously looked anywhere rather than look in his
face. The poor wretch was evidently no favourite in the house. Out of the
house, I had Betteredge's word for it that he was unpopular everywhere.
"What a life!" I thought to myself, as we descended the doctor's
doorsteps.</p>
<p>Having already referred to Mr. Candy's illness on his side, Ezra Jennings
now appeared determined to leave it to me to resume the subject. His
silence said significantly, "It's your turn now." I, too, had my reasons
for referring to the doctor's illness: and I readily accepted the
responsibility of speaking first.</p>
<p>"Judging by the change I see in him," I began, "Mr. Candy's illness must
have been far more serious that I had supposed?"</p>
<p>"It is almost a miracle," said Ezra Jennings, "that he lived through it."</p>
<p>"Is his memory never any better than I have found it to-day? He has been
trying to speak to me——"</p>
<p>"Of something which happened before he was taken ill?" asked the
assistant, observing that I hesitated.</p>
<p>"Yes."</p>
<p>"His memory of events, at that past time, is hopelessly enfeebled," said
Ezra Jennings. "It is almost to be deplored, poor fellow, that even the
wreck of it remains. While he remembers dimly plans that he formed—things,
here and there, that he had to say or do before his illness—he is
perfectly incapable of recalling what the plans were, or what the thing
was that he had to say or do. He is painfully conscious of his own
deficiency, and painfully anxious, as you must have seen, to hide it from
observation. If he could only have recovered in a complete state of
oblivion as to the past, he would have been a happier man. Perhaps we
should all be happier," he added, with a sad smile, "if we could but
completely forget!"</p>
<p>"There are some events surely in all men's lives," I replied, "the memory
of which they would be unwilling entirely to lose?"</p>
<p>"That is, I hope, to be said of most men, Mr. Blake. I am afraid it cannot
truly be said of ALL. Have you any reason to suppose that the lost
remembrance which Mr. Candy tried to recover—while you were speaking
to him just now—was a remembrance which it was important to YOU that
he should recall?"</p>
<p>In saying those words, he had touched, of his own accord, on the very
point upon which I was anxious to consult him. The interest I felt in this
strange man had impelled me, in the first instance, to give him the
opportunity of speaking to me; reserving what I might have to say, on my
side, in relation to his employer, until I was first satisfied that he was
a person in whose delicacy and discretion I could trust. The little that
he had said, thus far, had been sufficient to convince me that I was
speaking to a gentleman. He had what I may venture to describe as the
UNSOUGHT SELF-POSSESSION, which is a sure sign of good breeding, not in
England only, but everywhere else in the civilised world. Whatever the
object which he had in view, in putting the question that he had just
addressed to me, I felt no doubt that I was justified—so far—in
answering him without reserve.</p>
<p>"I believe I have a strong interest," I said, "in tracing the lost
remembrance which Mr. Candy was unable to recall. May I ask whether you
can suggest to me any method by which I might assist his memory?"</p>
<p>Ezra Jennings looked at me, with a sudden flash of interest in his dreamy
brown eyes.</p>
<p>"Mr. Candy's memory is beyond the reach of assistance," he said. "I have
tried to help it often enough since his recovery, to be able to speak
positively on that point."</p>
<p>This disappointed me; and I owned it.</p>
<p>"I confess you led me to hope for a less discouraging answer than that," I
said.</p>
<p>Ezra Jennings smiled. "It may not, perhaps, be a final answer, Mr. Blake.
It may be possible to trace Mr. Candy's lost recollection, without the
necessity of appealing to Mr. Candy himself."</p>
<p>"Indeed? Is it an indiscretion, on my part, to ask how?"</p>
<p>"By no means. My only difficulty in answering your question, is the
difficulty of explaining myself. May I trust to your patience, if I refer
once more to Mr. Candy's illness: and if I speak of it this time without
sparing you certain professional details?"</p>
<p>"Pray go on! You have interested me already in hearing the details."</p>
<p>My eagerness seemed to amuse—perhaps, I might rather say, to please
him. He smiled again. We had by this time left the last houses in the town
behind us. Ezra Jennings stopped for a moment, and picked some wild
flowers from the hedge by the roadside. "How beautiful they are!" he said,
simply, showing his little nosegay to me. "And how few people in England
seem to admire them as they deserve!"</p>
<p>"You have not always been in England?" I said.</p>
<p>"No. I was born, and partly brought up, in one of our colonies. My father
was an Englishman; but my mother—We are straying away from our
subject, Mr. Blake; and it is my fault. The truth is, I have associations
with these modest little hedgeside flowers—It doesn't matter; we
were speaking of Mr. Candy. To Mr. Candy let us return."</p>
<p>Connecting the few words about himself which thus reluctantly escaped him,
with the melancholy view of life which led him to place the conditions of
human happiness in complete oblivion of the past, I felt satisfied that
the story which I had read in his face was, in two particulars at least,
the story that it really told. He had suffered as few men suffer; and
there was the mixture of some foreign race in his English blood.</p>
<p>"You have heard, I dare say, of the original cause of Mr. Candy's
illness?" he resumed. "The night of Lady Verinder's dinner-party was a
night of heavy rain. My employer drove home through it in his gig, and
reached the house wetted to the skin. He found an urgent message from a
patient, waiting for him; and he most unfortunately went at once to visit
the sick person, without stopping to change his clothes. I was myself
professionally detained, that night, by a case at some distance from
Frizinghall. When I got back the next morning, I found Mr. Candy's groom
waiting in great alarm to take me to his master's room. By that time the
mischief was done; the illness had set in."</p>
<p>"The illness has only been described to me, in general terms, as a fever,"
I said.</p>
<p>"I can add nothing which will make the description more accurate,"
answered Ezra Jennings. "From first to last the fever assumed no specific
form. I sent at once to two of Mr. Candy's medical friends in the town,
both physicians, to come and give me their opinion of the case. They
agreed with me that it looked serious; but they both strongly dissented
from the view I took of the treatment. We differed entirely in the
conclusions which we drew from the patient's pulse. The two doctors,
arguing from the rapidity of the beat, declared that a lowering treatment
was the only treatment to be adopted. On my side, I admitted the rapidity
of the pulse, but I also pointed to its alarming feebleness as indicating
an exhausted condition of the system, and as showing a plain necessity for
the administration of stimulants. The two doctors were for keeping him on
gruel, lemonade, barley-water, and so on. I was for giving him champagne,
or brandy, ammonia, and quinine. A serious difference of opinion, as you
see! A difference between two physicians of established local repute, and
a stranger who was only an assistant in the house. For the first few days,
I had no choice but to give way to my elders and betters; the patient
steadily sinking all the time. I made a second attempt to appeal to the
plain, undeniably plain, evidence of the pulse. Its rapidity was
unchecked, and its feebleness had increased. The two doctors took offence
at my obstinacy. They said, 'Mr. Jennings, either we manage this case, or
you manage it. Which is it to be?' I said, 'Gentlemen, give me five
minutes to consider, and that plain question shall have a plain reply.'
When the time expired, I was ready with my answer. I said, 'You positively
refuse to try the stimulant treatment?' They refused in so many words. 'I
mean to try it at once, gentlemen.'—'Try it, Mr. Jennings, and we
withdraw from the case.' I sent down to the cellar for a bottle of
champagne; and I administered half a tumbler-full of it to the patient
with my own hand. The two physicians took up their hats in silence, and
left the house."</p>
<p>"You had assumed a serious responsibility," I said. "In your place, I am
afraid I should have shrunk from it."</p>
<p>"In my place, Mr. Blake, you would have remembered that Mr. Candy had
taken you into his employment, under circumstances which made you his
debtor for life. In my place, you would have seen him sinking, hour by
hour; and you would have risked anything, rather than let the one man on
earth who had befriended you, die before your eyes. Don't suppose that I
had no sense of the terrible position in which I had placed myself! There
were moments when I felt all the misery of my friendlessness, all the
peril of my dreadful responsibility. If I had been a happy man, if I had
led a prosperous life, I believe I should have sunk under the task I had
imposed on myself. But I had no happy time to look back at, no past peace
of mind to force itself into contrast with my present anxiety and suspense—and
I held firm to my resolution through it all. I took an interval in the
middle of the day, when my patient's condition was at its best, for the
repose I needed. For the rest of the four-and-twenty hours, as long as his
life was in danger, I never left his bedside. Towards sunset, as usual in
such cases, the delirium incidental to the fever came on. It lasted more
or less through the night; and then intermitted, at that terrible time in
the early morning—from two o'clock to five—when the vital
energies even of the healthiest of us are at their lowest. It is then that
Death gathers in his human harvest most abundantly. It was then that Death
and I fought our fight over the bed, which should have the man who lay on
it. I never hesitated in pursuing the treatment on which I had staked
everything. When wine failed, I tried brandy. When the other stimulants
lost their influence, I doubled the dose. After an interval of suspense—the
like of which I hope to God I shall never feel again—there came a
day when the rapidity of the pulse slightly, but appreciably, diminished;
and, better still, there came also a change in the beat—an
unmistakable change to steadiness and strength. THEN, I knew that I had
saved him; and then I own I broke down. I laid the poor fellow's wasted
hand back on the bed, and burst out crying. An hysterical relief, Mr.
Blake—nothing more! Physiology says, and says truly, that some men
are born with female constitutions—and I am one of them!"</p>
<p>He made that bitterly professional apology for his tears, speaking quietly
and unaffectedly, as he had spoken throughout. His tone and manner, from
beginning to end, showed him to be especially, almost morbidly, anxious
not to set himself up as an object of interest to me.</p>
<p>"You may well ask, why I have wearied you with all these details?" he went
on. "It is the only way I can see, Mr. Blake, of properly introducing to
you what I have to say next. Now you know exactly what my position was, at
the time of Mr. Candy's illness, you will the more readily understand the
sore need I had of lightening the burden on my mind by giving it, at
intervals, some sort of relief. I have had the presumption to occupy my
leisure, for some years past, in writing a book, addressed to the members
of my profession—a book on the intricate and delicate subject of the
brain and the nervous system. My work will probably never be finished; and
it will certainly never be published. It has none the less been the friend
of many lonely hours; and it helped me to while away the anxious time—the
time of waiting, and nothing else—at Mr. Candy's bedside. I told you
he was delirious, I think? And I mentioned the time at which his delirium
came on?"</p>
<p>"Yes."</p>
<p>"Well, I had reached a section of my book, at that time, which touched on
this same question of delirium. I won't trouble you at any length with my
theory on the subject—I will confine myself to telling you only what
it is your present interest to know. It has often occurred to me in the
course of my medical practice, to doubt whether we can justifiably infer—in
cases of delirium—that the loss of the faculty of speaking
connectedly, implies of necessity the loss of the faculty of thinking
connectedly as well. Poor Mr. Candy's illness gave me an opportunity of
putting this doubt to the test. I understand the art of writing in
shorthand; and I was able to take down the patient's 'wanderings', exactly
as they fell from his lips.—Do you see, Mr. Blake, what I am coming
to at last?"</p>
<p>I saw it clearly, and waited with breathless interest to hear more.</p>
<p>"At odds and ends of time," Ezra Jennings went on, "I reproduced my
shorthand notes, in the ordinary form of writing—leaving large
spaces between the broken phrases, and even the single words, as they had
fallen disconnectedly from Mr. Candy's lips. I then treated the result
thus obtained, on something like the principle which one adopts in putting
together a child's 'puzzle.' It is all confusion to begin with; but it may
be all brought into order and shape, if you can only find the right way.
Acting on this plan, I filled in each blank space on the paper, with what
the words or phrases on either side of it suggested to me as the speaker's
meaning; altering over and over again, until my additions followed
naturally on the spoken words which came before them, and fitted naturally
into the spoken words which came after them. The result was, that I not
only occupied in this way many vacant and anxious hours, but that I
arrived at something which was (as it seemed to me) a confirmation of the
theory that I held. In plainer words, after putting the broken sentences
together I found the superior faculty of thinking going on, more or less
connectedly, in my patient's mind, while the inferior faculty of
expression was in a state of almost complete incapacity and confusion."</p>
<p>"One word!" I interposed eagerly. "Did my name occur in any of his
wanderings?"</p>
<p>"You shall hear, Mr. Blake. Among my written proofs of the assertion which
I have just advanced—or, I ought to say, among the written
experiments, tending to put my assertion to the proof—there IS one,
in which your name occurs. For nearly the whole of one night, Mr. Candy's
mind was occupied with SOMETHING between himself and you. I have got the
broken words, as they dropped from his lips, on one sheet of paper. And I
have got the links of my own discovering which connect those words
together, on another sheet of paper. The product (as the arithmeticians
would say) is an intelligible statement—first, of something actually
done in the past; secondly, of something which Mr. Candy contemplated
doing in the future, if his illness had not got in the way, and stopped
him. The question is whether this does, or does not, represent the lost
recollection which he vainly attempted to find when you called on him this
morning?"</p>
<p>"Not a doubt of it!" I answered. "Let us go back directly, and look at the
papers!"</p>
<p>"Quite impossible, Mr. Blake."</p>
<p>"Why?"</p>
<p>"Put yourself in my position for a moment," said Ezra Jennings. "Would you
disclose to another person what had dropped unconsciously from the lips of
your suffering patient and your helpless friend, without first knowing
that there was a necessity to justify you in opening your lips?"</p>
<p>I felt that he was unanswerable, here; but I tried to argue the question,
nevertheless.</p>
<p>"My conduct in such a delicate matter as you describe," I replied, "would
depend greatly on whether the disclosure was of a nature to compromise my
friend or not."</p>
<p>"I have disposed of all necessity for considering that side of the
question, long since," said Ezra Jennings. "Wherever my notes included
anything which Mr. Candy might have wished to keep secret, those notes
have been destroyed. My manuscript experiments at my friend's bedside,
include nothing, now, which he would have hesitated to communicate to
others, if he had recovered the use of his memory. In your case, I have
every reason to suppose that my notes contain something which he actually
wished to say to you."</p>
<p>"And yet, you hesitate?"</p>
<p>"And yet, I hesitate. Remember the circumstances under which I obtained
the information which I possess! Harmless as it is, I cannot prevail upon
myself to give it up to you, unless you first satisfy me that there is a
reason for doing so. He was so miserably ill, Mr. Blake! and he was so
helplessly dependent upon Me! Is it too much to ask, if I request you only
to hint to me what your interest is in the lost recollection—or what
you believe that lost recollection to be?"</p>
<p>To have answered him with the frankness which his language and his manner
both claimed from me, would have been to commit myself to openly
acknowledging that I was suspected of the theft of the Diamond. Strongly
as Ezra Jennings had intensified the first impulsive interest which I had
felt in him, he had not overcome my unconquerable reluctance to disclose
the degrading position in which I stood. I took refuge once more in the
explanatory phrases with which I had prepared myself to meet the curiosity
of strangers.</p>
<p>This time I had no reason to complain of a want of attention on the part
of the person to whom I addressed myself. Ezra Jennings listened
patiently, even anxiously, until I had done.</p>
<p>"I am sorry to have raised your expectations, Mr. Blake, only to
disappoint them," he said. "Throughout the whole period of Mr. Candy's
illness, from first to last, not one word about the Diamond escaped his
lips. The matter with which I heard him connect your name has, I can
assure you, no discoverable relation whatever with the loss or the
recovery of Miss Verinder's jewel."</p>
<p>We arrived, as he said those words, at a place where the highway along
which we had been walking branched off into two roads. One led to Mr.
Ablewhite's house, and the other to a moorland village some two or three
miles off. Ezra Jennings stopped at the road which led to the village.</p>
<p>"My way lies in this direction," he said. "I am really and truly sorry,
Mr. Blake, that I can be of no use to you."</p>
<p>His voice told me that he spoke sincerely. His soft brown eyes rested on
me for a moment with a look of melancholy interest. He bowed, and went,
without another word, on his way to the village.</p>
<p>For a minute or more I stood and watched him, walking farther and farther
away from me; carrying farther and farther away with him what I now firmly
believed to be the clue of which I was in search. He turned, after walking
on a little way, and looked back. Seeing me still standing at the place
where we had parted, he stopped, as if doubting whether I might not wish
to speak to him again. There was no time for me to reason out my own
situation—to remind myself that I was losing my opportunity, at what
might be the turning point of my life, and all to flatter nothing more
important than my own self-esteem! There was only time to call him back
first, and to think afterwards. I suspect I am one of the rashest of
existing men. I called him back—and then I said to myself, "Now
there is no help for it. I must tell him the truth!"</p>
<p>He retraced his steps directly. I advanced along the road to meet him.</p>
<p>"Mr. Jennings," I said. "I have not treated you quite fairly. My interest
in tracing Mr. Candy's lost recollection is not the interest of recovering
the Moonstone. A serious personal matter is at the bottom of my visit to
Yorkshire. I have but one excuse for not having dealt frankly with you in
this matter. It is more painful to me than I can say, to mention to
anybody what my position really is."</p>
<p>Ezra Jennings looked at me with the first appearance of embarrassment
which I had seen in him yet.</p>
<p>"I have no right, Mr. Blake, and no wish," he said, "to intrude myself
into your private affairs. Allow me to ask your pardon, on my side, for
having (most innocently) put you to a painful test."</p>
<p>"You have a perfect right," I rejoined, "to fix the terms on which you
feel justified in revealing what you heard at Mr. Candy's bedside. I
understand and respect the delicacy which influences you in this matter.
How can I expect to be taken into your confidence if I decline to admit
you into mine? You ought to know, and you shall know, why I am interested
in discovering what Mr. Candy wanted to say to me. If I turn out to be
mistaken in my anticipations, and if you prove unable to help me when you
are really aware of what I want, I shall trust to your honour to keep my
secret—and something tells me that I shall not trust in vain."</p>
<p>"Stop, Mr. Blake. I have a word to say, which must be said before you go
any farther." I looked at him in astonishment. The grip of some terrible
emotion seemed to have seized him, and shaken him to the soul. His gipsy
complexion had altered to a livid greyish paleness; his eyes had suddenly
become wild and glittering; his voice had dropped to a tone—low,
stern, and resolute—which I now heard for the first time. The latent
resources in the man, for good or for evil—it was hard, at that
moment, to say which—leapt up in him and showed themselves to me,
with the suddenness of a flash of light.</p>
<p>"Before you place any confidence in me," he went on, "you ought to know,
and you MUST know, under what circumstances I have been received into Mr.
Candy's house. It won't take long. I don't profess, sir, to tell my story
(as the phrase is) to any man. My story will die with me. All I ask, is to
be permitted to tell you, what I have told Mr. Candy. If you are still in
the mind, when you have heard that, to say what you have proposed to say,
you will command my attention and command my services. Shall we walk on?"</p>
<p>The suppressed misery in his face silenced me. I answered his question by
a sign. We walked on.</p>
<p>After advancing a few hundred yards, Ezra Jennings stopped at a gap in the
rough stone wall which shut off the moor from the road, at this part of
it.</p>
<p>"Do you mind resting a little, Mr. Blake?" he asked. "I am not what I was—and
some things shake me."</p>
<p>I agreed of course. He led the way through the gap to a patch of turf on
the heathy ground, screened by bushes and dwarf trees on the side nearest
to the road, and commanding in the opposite direction a grandly desolate
view over the broad brown wilderness of the moor. The clouds had gathered,
within the last half hour. The light was dull; the distance was dim. The
lovely face of Nature met us, soft and still colourless—met us
without a smile.</p>
<p>We sat down in silence. Ezra Jennings laid aside his hat, and passed his
hand wearily over his forehead, wearily through his startling white and
black hair. He tossed his little nosegay of wild flowers away from him, as
if the remembrances which it recalled were remembrances which hurt him
now.</p>
<p>"Mr. Blake!" he said, suddenly. "You are in bad company. The cloud of a
horrible accusation has rested on me for years. I tell you the worst at
once. I am a man whose life is a wreck, and whose character is gone."</p>
<p>I attempted to speak. He stopped me.</p>
<p>"No," he said. "Pardon me; not yet. Don't commit yourself to expressions
of sympathy which you may afterwards wish to recall. I have mentioned an
accusation which has rested on me for years. There are circumstances in
connexion with it that tell against me. I cannot bring myself to
acknowledge what the accusation is. And I am incapable, perfectly
incapable, of proving my innocence. I can only assert my innocence. I
assert it, sir, on my oath, as a Christian. It is useless to appeal to my
honour as a man."</p>
<p>He paused again. I looked round at him. He never looked at me in return.
His whole being seemed to be absorbed in the agony of recollecting, and in
the effort to speak.</p>
<p>"There is much that I might say," he went on, "about the merciless
treatment of me by my own family, and the merciless enmity to which I have
fallen a victim. But the harm is done; the wrong is beyond all remedy. I
decline to weary or distress you, sir, if I can help it. At the outset of
my career in this country, the vile slander to which I have referred
struck me down at once and for ever. I resigned my aspirations in my
profession—obscurity was the only hope left for me. I parted with
the woman I loved—how could I condemn her to share my disgrace? A
medical assistant's place offered itself, in a remote corner of England. I
got the place. It promised me peace; it promised me obscurity, as I
thought. I was wrong. Evil report, with time and chance to help it,
travels patiently, and travels far. The accusation from which I had fled
followed me. I got warning of its approach. I was able to leave my
situation voluntarily, with the testimonials that I had earned. They got
me another situation in another remote district. Time passed again; and
again the slander that was death to my character found me out. On this
occasion I had no warning. My employer said, 'Mr. Jennings, I have no
complaint to make against you; but you must set yourself right, or leave
me.' I had but one choice—I left him. It's useless to dwell on what
I suffered after that. I am only forty years old now. Look at my face, and
let it tell for me the story of some miserable years. It ended in my
drifting to this place, and meeting with Mr. Candy. He wanted an
assistant. I referred him, on the question of capacity, to my last
employer. The question of character remained. I told him what I have told
you—and more. I warned him that there were difficulties in the way,
even if he believed me. 'Here, as elsewhere,' I said 'I scorn the guilty
evasion of living under an assumed name: I am no safer at Frizinghall than
at other places from the cloud that follows me, go where I may.' He
answered, 'I don't do things by halves—I believe you, and I pity
you. If you will risk what may happen, I will risk it too.' God Almighty
bless him! He has given me shelter, he has given me employment, he has
given me rest of mind—and I have the certain conviction (I have had
it for some months past) that nothing will happen now to make him regret
it."</p>
<p>"The slander has died out?" I said.</p>
<p>"The slander is as active as ever. But when it follows me here, it will
come too late."</p>
<p>"You will have left the place?"</p>
<p>"No, Mr. Blake—I shall be dead. For ten years past I have suffered
from an incurable internal complaint. I don't disguise from you that I
should have let the agony of it kill me long since, but for one last
interest in life, which makes my existence of some importance to me still.
I want to provide for a person—very dear to me—whom I shall
never see again. My own little patrimony is hardly sufficient to make her
independent of the world. The hope, if I could only live long enough, of
increasing it to a certain sum, has impelled me to resist the disease by
such palliative means as I could devise. The one effectual palliative in
my case, is—opium. To that all-potent and all-merciful drug I am
indebted for a respite of many years from my sentence of death. But even
the virtues of opium have their limit. The progress of the disease has
gradually forced me from the use of opium to the abuse of it. I am feeling
the penalty at last. My nervous system is shattered; my nights are nights
of horror. The end is not far off now. Let it come—I have not lived
and worked in vain. The little sum is nearly made up; and I have the means
of completing it, if my last reserves of life fail me sooner than I
expect. I hardly know how I have wandered into telling you this. I don't
think I am mean enough to appeal to your pity. Perhaps, I fancy you may be
all the readier to believe me, if you know that what I have said to you, I
have said with the certain knowledge in me that I am a dying man. There is
no disguising, Mr. Blake, that you interest me. I have attempted to make
my poor friend's loss of memory the means of bettering my acquaintance
with you. I have speculated on the chance of your feeling a passing
curiosity about what he wanted to say, and of my being able to satisfy it.
Is there no excuse for my intruding myself on you? Perhaps there is some
excuse. A man who has lived as I have lived has his bitter moments when he
ponders over human destiny. You have youth, health, riches, a place in the
world, a prospect before you. You, and such as you, show me the sunny side
of human life, and reconcile me with the world that I am leaving, before I
go. However this talk between us may end, I shall not forget that you have
done me a kindness in doing that. It rests with you, sir, to say what you
proposed saying, or to wish me good morning."</p>
<p>I had but one answer to make to that appeal. Without a moment's hesitation
I told him the truth, as unreservedly as I have told it in these pages.</p>
<p>He started to his feet, and looked at me with breathless eagerness as I
approached the leading incident of my story.</p>
<p>"It is certain that I went into the room," I said; "it is certain that I
took the Diamond. I can only meet those two plain facts by declaring that,
do what I might, I did it without my own knowledge——"</p>
<p>Ezra Jennings caught me excitedly by the arm.</p>
<p>"Stop!" he said. "You have suggested more to me than you suppose. Have you
ever been accustomed to the use of opium?"</p>
<p>"I never tasted it in my life."</p>
<p>"Were your nerves out of order, at this time last year? Were you unusually
restless and irritable?"</p>
<p>"Yes."</p>
<p>"Did you sleep badly?"</p>
<p>"Wretchedly. Many nights I never slept at all."</p>
<p>"Was the birthday night an exception? Try, and remember. Did you sleep
well on that one occasion?"</p>
<p>"I do remember! I slept soundly."</p>
<p>He dropped my arm as suddenly as he had taken it—and looked at me
with the air of a man whose mind was relieved of the last doubt that
rested on it.</p>
<p>"This is a marked day in your life, and in mine," he said, gravely. "I am
absolutely certain, Mr. Blake, of one thing—I have got what Mr.
Candy wanted to say to you this morning, in the notes that I took at my
patient's bedside. Wait! that is not all. I am firmly persuaded that I can
prove you to have been unconscious of what you were about, when you
entered the room and took the Diamond. Give me time to think, and time to
question you. I believe the vindication of your innocence is in my hands!"</p>
<p>"Explain yourself, for God's sake! What do you mean?"</p>
<p>In the excitement of our colloquy, we had walked on a few steps, beyond
the clump of dwarf trees which had hitherto screened us from view. Before
Ezra Jennings could answer me, he was hailed from the high road by a man,
in great agitation, who had been evidently on the look-out for him.</p>
<p>"I am coming," he called back; "I am coming as fast as I can!" He turned
to me. "There is an urgent case waiting for me at the village yonder; I
ought to have been there half an hour since—I must attend to it at
once. Give me two hours from this time, and call at Mr. Candy's again—and
I will engage to be ready for you."</p>
<p>"How am I to wait!" I exclaimed, impatiently. "Can't you quiet my mind by
a word of explanation before we part?"</p>
<p>"This is far too serious a matter to be explained in a hurry, Mr. Blake. I
am not wilfully trying your patience—I should only be adding to your
suspense, if I attempted to relieve it as things are now. At Frizinghall,
sir, in two hours' time!"</p>
<p>The man on the high road hailed him again. He hurried away, and left me.</p>
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