<SPAN name="chap02"></SPAN>
<h3> CHAPTER TWO </h3>
<h3> 'The Village Named Morality' </h3>
<p>UP on the high veld our rivers are apt to be strings of pools linked by
muddy trickles—the most stagnant kind of watercourse you would look
for in a day's journey. But presently they reach the edge of the
plateau and are tossed down into the flats in noble ravines, and roll
thereafter in full and sounding currents to the sea. So with the story
I am telling. It began in smooth reaches, as idle as a mill-pond; yet
the day soon came when I was in the grip of a torrent, flung breathless
from rock to rock by a destiny which I could not control. But for the
present I was in a backwater, no less than the Garden City of
Biggleswick, where Mr Cornelius Brand, a South African gentleman
visiting England on holiday, lodged in a pair of rooms in the cottage
of Mr Tancred Jimson.</p>
<p>The house—or 'home' as they preferred to name it at Biggleswick—was
one of some two hundred others which ringed a pleasant Midland common.
It was badly built and oddly furnished; the bed was too short, the
windows did not fit, the doors did not stay shut; but it was as clean
as soap and water and scrubbing could make it. The three-quarters of an
acre of garden were mainly devoted to the culture of potatoes, though
under the parlour window Mrs Jimson had a plot of sweet-smelling herbs,
and lines of lank sunflowers fringed the path that led to the front
door. It was Mrs Jimson who received me as I descended from the station
fly—a large red woman with hair bleached by constant exposure to
weather, clad in a gown which, both in shape and material, seemed to
have been modelled on a chintz curtain. She was a good kindly soul, and
as proud as Punch of her house.</p>
<p>'We follow the simple life here, Mr Brand,' she said. 'You must take us
as you find us.'</p>
<p>I assured her that I asked for nothing better, and as I unpacked in my
fresh little bedroom with a west wind blowing in at the window I
considered that I had seen worse quarters.</p>
<p>I had bought in London a considerable number of books, for I thought
that, as I would have time on my hands, I might as well do something
about my education. They were mostly English classics, whose names I
knew but which I had never read, and they were all in a little
flat-backed series at a shilling apiece. I arranged them on top of a
chest of drawers, but I kept the <i>Pilgrim's Progress</i> beside my bed,
for that was one of my working tools and I had got to get it by heart.</p>
<p>Mrs Jimson, who came in while I was unpacking to see if the room was to
my liking, approved my taste. At our midday dinner she wanted to
discuss books with me, and was so full of her own knowledge that I was
able to conceal my ignorance.</p>
<p>'We are all labouring to express our personalities,' she informed me.
'Have you found your medium, Mr Brand? is it to be the pen or the
pencil? Or perhaps it is music? You have the brow of an artist, the
frontal "bar of Michelangelo", you remember!'</p>
<p>I told her that I concluded I would try literature, but before writing
anything I would read a bit more.</p>
<p>It was a Saturday, so Jimson came back from town in the early
afternoon. He was a managing clerk in some shipping office, but you
wouldn't have guessed it from his appearance. His city clothes were
loose dark-grey flannels, a soft collar, an orange tie, and a soft
black hat. His wife went down the road to meet him, and they returned
hand-in-hand, swinging their arms like a couple of schoolchildren. He
had a skimpy red beard streaked with grey, and mild blue eyes behind
strong glasses. He was the most friendly creature in the world, full of
rapid questions, and eager to make me feel one of the family. Presently
he got into a tweed Norfolk jacket, and started to cultivate his
garden. I took off my coat and lent him a hand, and when he stopped to
rest from his labours—which was every five minutes, for he had no kind
of physique—he would mop his brow and rub his spectacles and declaim
about the good smell of the earth and the joy of getting close to
Nature.</p>
<p>Once he looked at my big brown hands and muscular arms with a kind of
wistfulness. 'You are one of the doers, Mr Brand,' he said, 'and I
could find it in my heart to envy you. You have seen Nature in wild
forms in far countries. Some day I hope you will tell us about your
life. I must be content with my little corner, but happily there are no
territorial limits for the mind. This modest dwelling is a watch-tower
from which I look over all the world.'</p>
<p>After that he took me for a walk. We met parties of returning
tennis-players and here and there a golfer. There seemed to be an
abundance of young men, mostly rather weedy-looking, but with one or
two well-grown ones who should have been fighting. The names of some of
them Jimson mentioned with awe. An unwholesome youth was Aronson, the
great novelist; a sturdy, bristling fellow with a fierce moustache was
Letchford, the celebrated leader-writer of the Critic. Several were
pointed out to me as artists who had gone one better than anybody else,
and a vast billowy creature was described as the leader of the new
Orientalism in England. I noticed that these people, according to
Jimson, were all 'great', and that they all dabbled in something 'new'.
There were quantities of young women, too, most of them rather badly
dressed and inclining to untidy hair. And there were several decent
couples taking the air like house-holders of an evening all the world
Over. Most of these last were Jimson's friends, to whom he introduced
me. They were his own class—modest folk, who sought for a coloured
background to their prosaic city lives and found it in this odd
settlement.</p>
<p>At supper I was initiated into the peculiar merits of Biggleswick.</p>
<p>'It is one great laboratory of thought,' said Mrs Jimson. 'It is
glorious to feel that you are living among the eager, vital people who
are at the head of all the newest movements, and that the intellectual
history of England is being made in our studies and gardens. The war to
us seems a remote and secondary affair. As someone has said, the great
fights of the world are all fought in the mind.'</p>
<p>A spasm of pain crossed her husband's face. 'I wish I could feel it far
away. After all, Ursula, it is the sacrifice of the young that gives
people like us leisure and peace to think. Our duty is to do the best
which is permitted to us, but that duty is a poor thing compared with
what our young soldiers are giving! I may be quite wrong about the war
... I know I can't argue with Letchford. But I will not pretend to a
superiority I do not feel.'</p>
<p>I went to bed feeling that in Jimson I had struck a pretty sound
fellow. As I lit the candles on my dressing-table I observed that the
stack of silver which I had taken out of my pockets when I washed
before supper was top-heavy. It had two big coins at the top and
sixpences and shillings beneath. Now it is one of my oddities that ever
since I was a small boy I have arranged my loose coins symmetrically,
with the smallest uppermost. That made me observant and led me to
notice a second point. The English classics on the top of the chest of
drawers were not in the order I had left them. Izaak Walton had got to
the left of Sir Thomas Browne, and the poet Burns was wedged
disconsolately between two volumes of Hazlitt. Moreover a receipted
bill which I had stuck in the <i>Pilgrim's Progress</i> to mark my place had
been moved. Someone had been going through my belongings.</p>
<p>A moment's reflection convinced me that it couldn't have been Mrs
Jimson. She had no servant and did the housework herself, but my things
had been untouched when I left the room before supper, for she had come
to tidy up before I had gone downstairs. Someone had been here while we
were at supper, and had examined elaborately everything I possessed.
Happily I had little luggage, and no papers save the new books and a
bill or two in the name of Cornelius Brand. The inquisitor, whoever he
was, had found nothing ... The incident gave me a good deal of comfort.
It had been hard to believe that any mystery could exist in this public
place, where people lived brazenly in the open, and wore their hearts
on their sleeves and proclaimed their opinions from the rooftops. Yet
mystery there must be, or an inoffensive stranger with a kit-bag would
not have received these strange attentions. I made a practice after
that of sleeping with my watch below my pillow, for inside the case was
Mary Lamington's label. Now began a period of pleasant idle
receptiveness. Once a week it was my custom to go up to London for the
day to receive letters and instructions, if any should come. I had
moved from my chambers in Park Lane, which I leased under my proper
name, to a small flat in Westminster taken in the name of Cornelius
Brand. The letters addressed to Park Lane were forwarded to Sir Walter,
who sent them round under cover to my new address. For the rest I used
to spend my mornings reading in the garden, and I discovered for the
first time what a pleasure was to be got from old books. They recalled
and amplified that vision I had seen from the Cotswold ridge, the
revelation of the priceless heritage which is England. I imbibed a
mighty quantity of history, but especially I liked the writers, like
Walton, who got at the very heart of the English countryside. Soon,
too, I found the <i>Pilgrim's Progress</i> not a duty but a delight. I
discovered new jewels daily in the honest old story, and my letters to
Peter began to be as full of it as Peter's own epistles. I loved, also,
the songs of the Elizabethans, for they reminded me of the girl who had
sung to me in the June night.</p>
<p>In the afternoons I took my exercise in long tramps along the good
dusty English roads. The country fell away from Biggleswick into a
plain of wood and pasture-land, with low hills on the horizon. The
Place was sown with villages, each with its green and pond and ancient
church. Most, too, had inns, and there I had many a draught of cool
nutty ale, for the inn at Biggleswick was a reformed place which sold
nothing but washy cider. Often, tramping home in the dusk, I was so
much in love with the land that I could have sung with the pure joy of
it. And in the evening, after a bath, there would be supper, when a
rather fagged Jimson struggled between sleep and hunger, and the lady,
with an artistic mutch on her untidy head, talked ruthlessly of culture.</p>
<p>Bit by bit I edged my way into local society. The Jimsons were a great
help, for they were popular and had a nodding acquaintance with most of
the inhabitants. They regarded me as a meritorious aspirant towards a
higher life, and I was paraded before their friends with the suggestion
of a vivid, if Philistine, past. If I had any gift for writing, I would
make a book about the inhabitants of Biggleswick. About half were
respectable citizens who came there for country air and low rates, but
even these had a touch of queerness and had picked up the jargon of the
place. The younger men were mostly Government clerks or writers or
artists. There were a few widows with flocks of daughters, and on the
outskirts were several bigger houses—mostly houses which had been
there before the garden city was planted. One of them was brand-new, a
staring villa with sham-antique timbering, stuck on the top of a hill
among raw gardens. It belonged to a man called Moxon Ivery, who was a
kind of academic pacificist and a great god in the place. Another, a
quiet Georgian manor house, was owned by a London publisher, an ardent
Liberal whose particular branch of business compelled him to keep in
touch with the new movements. I used to see him hurrying to the station
swinging a little black bag and returning at night with the fish for
dinner.</p>
<p>I soon got to know a surprising lot of people, and they were the
rummiest birds you can imagine. For example, there were the Weekeses,
three girls who lived with their mother in a house so artistic that you
broke your head whichever way you turned in it. The son of the family
was a conscientious objector who had refused to do any sort of work
whatever, and had got quodded for his pains. They were immensely proud
of him and used to relate his sufferings in Dartmoor with a gusto which
I thought rather heartless. Art was their great subject, and I am
afraid they found me pretty heavy going. It was their fashion never to
admire anything that was obviously beautiful, like a sunset or a pretty
woman, but to find surprising loveliness in things which I thought
hideous. Also they talked a language that was beyond me. This kind of
conversation used to happen.—MISS WEEKES: 'Don't you admire Ursula
Jimson?' SELF: 'Rather!' MISS W.: 'She is so John-esque in her lines.'
SELF: 'Exactly!' MISS W.: 'And Tancred, too—he is so full of nuances.'
SELF: 'Rather!' MISS W.: 'He suggests one of Degousse's countrymen.'
SELF: 'Exactly!'</p>
<p>They hadn't much use for books, except some Russian ones, and I
acquired merit in their eyes for having read Leprous Souls. If you
talked to them about that divine countryside, you found they didn't
give a rap for it and had never been a mile beyond the village. But
they admired greatly the sombre effect of a train going into Marylebone
station on a rainy day.</p>
<p>But it was the men who interested me most. Aronson, the novelist,
proved on acquaintance the worst kind of blighter. He considered
himself a genius whom it was the duty of the country to support, and he
sponged on his wretched relatives and anyone who would lend him money.
He was always babbling about his sins, and pretty squalid they were. I
should like to have flung him among a few good old-fashioned
full-blooded sinners of my acquaintance; they would have scared him
considerably. He told me that he sought 'reality' and 'life' and
'truth', but it was hard to see how he could know much about them, for
he spent half the day in bed smoking cheap cigarettes, and the rest
sunning himself in the admiration of half-witted girls. The creature
was tuberculous in mind and body, and the only novel of his I read,
pretty well turned my stomach. Mr Aronson's strong point was jokes
about the war. If he heard of any acquaintance who had joined up or was
even doing war work his merriment knew no bounds. My fingers used to
itch to box the little wretch's ears.</p>
<p>Letchford was a different pair of shoes. He was some kind of a man, to
begin with, and had an excellent brain and the worst manners
conceivable. He contradicted everything you said, and looked out for an
argument as other people look for their dinner. He was a
double-engined, high-speed pacificist, because he was the kind of
cantankerous fellow who must always be in a minority. If Britain had
stood out of the war he would have been a raving militarist, but since
she was in it he had got to find reasons why she was wrong. And jolly
good reasons they were, too. I couldn't have met his arguments if I had
wanted to, so I sat docilely at his feet. The world was all crooked for
Letchford, and God had created him with two left hands. But the fellow
had merits. He had a couple of jolly children whom he adored, and he
would walk miles with me on a Sunday, and spout poetry about the beauty
and greatness of England. He was forty-five; if he had been thirty and
in my battalion I could have made a soldier out of him.</p>
<p>There were dozens more whose names I have forgotten, but they had one
common characteristic. They were puffed up with spiritual pride, and I
used to amuse myself with finding their originals in the <i>Pilgrim's
Progress</i>. When I tried to judge them by the standard of old Peter,
they fell woefully short. They shut out the war from their lives, some
out of funk, some out of pure levity of mind, and some because they
were really convinced that the thing was all wrong. I think I grew
rather popular in my role of the seeker after truth, the honest
colonial who was against the war by instinct and was looking for
instruction in the matter. They regarded me as a convert from an alien
world of action which they secretly dreaded, though they affected to
despise it. Anyhow they talked to me very freely, and before long I had
all the pacifist arguments by heart. I made out that there were three
schools. One objected to war altogether, and this had few adherents
except Aronson and Weekes, C.O., now languishing in Dartmoor. The
second thought that the Allies' cause was tainted, and that Britain had
contributed as much as Germany to the catastrophe. This included all
the adherents of the L.D.A.—or League of Democrats against
Aggression—a very proud body. The third and much the largest, which
embraced everybody else, held that we had fought long enough and that
the business could now be settled by negotiation, since Germany had
learned her lesson. I was myself a modest member of the last school,
but I was gradually working my way up to the second, and I hoped with
luck to qualify for the first. My acquaintances approved my progress.
Letchford said I had a core of fanaticism in my slow nature, and that I
would end by waving the red flag.</p>
<p>Spiritual pride and vanity, as I have said, were at the bottom of most
of them, and, try as I might, I could find nothing very dangerous in it
all. This vexed me, for I began to wonder if the mission which I had
embarked on so solemnly were not going to be a fiasco. Sometimes they
worried me beyond endurance. When the news of Messines came nobody took
the slightest interest, while I was aching to tooth every detail of the
great fight. And when they talked on military affairs, as Letchford and
others did sometimes, it was difficult to keep from sending them all to
the devil, for their amateur cocksureness would have riled Job. One had
got to batten down the recollection of our fellows out there who were
sweating blood to keep these fools snug. Yet I found it impossible to
be angry with them for long, they were so babyishly innocent. Indeed, I
couldn't help liking them, and finding a sort of quality in them. I had
spent three years among soldiers, and the British regular, great follow
that he is, has his faults. His discipline makes him in a funk of
red-tape and any kind of superior authority. Now these people were
quite honest and in a perverted way courageous. Letchford was, at any
rate. I could no more have done what he did and got hunted off
platforms by the crowd and hooted at by women in the streets than I
could have written his leading articles.</p>
<p>All the same I was rather low about my job. Barring the episode of the
ransacking of my effects the first night, I had not a suspicion of a
clue or a hint of any mystery. The place and the people were as open
and bright as a Y.M.C.A. hut. But one day I got a solid wad of comfort.
In a corner of Letchford's paper, the <i>Critic</i>, I found a letter which
was one of the steepest pieces of invective I had ever met with. The
writer gave tongue like a beagle pup about the prostitution, as he
called it, of American republicanism to the vices of European
aristocracies. He declared that Senator La Follette was a
much-misunderstood patriot, seeing that he alone spoke for the toiling
millions who had no other friend. He was mad with President Wilson, and
he prophesied a great awakening when Uncle Sam got up against John Bull
in Europe and found out the kind of standpatter he was. The letter was
signed 'John S. Blenkiron' and dated 'London, 3 July'.</p>
<p>The thought that Blenkiron was in England put a new complexion on my
business. I reckoned I would see him soon, for he wasn't the man to
stand still in his tracks. He had taken up the role he had played
before he left in December 1915, and very right too, for not more than
half a dozen people knew of the Erzerum affair, and to the British
public he was only the man who had been fired out of the Savoy for
talking treason. I had felt a bit lonely before, but now somewhere
within the four corners of the island the best companion God ever made
was writing nonsense with his tongue in his old cheek.</p>
<p>There was an institution in Biggleswick which deserves mention. On the
south of the common, near the station, stood a red-brick building
called the Moot Hall, which was a kind of church for the very undevout
population. Undevout in the ordinary sense, I mean, for I had already
counted twenty-seven varieties of religious conviction, including three
Buddhists, a Celestial Hierarch, five Latter-day Saints, and about ten
varieties of Mystic whose names I could never remember. The hall had
been the gift of the publisher I have spoken of, and twice a week it
was used for lectures and debates. The place was managed by a committee
and was surprisingly popular, for it gave all the bubbling intellects a
chance of airing their views. When you asked where somebody was and
were told he was 'at Moot,' the answer was spoken in the respectful
tone in which you would mention a sacrament.</p>
<p>I went there regularly and got my mind broadened to cracking point. We
had all the stars of the New Movements. We had Doctor Chirk, who
lectured on 'God', which, as far as I could make out, was a new name he
had invented for himself. There was a woman, a terrible woman, who had
come back from Russia with what she called a 'message of healing'. And
to my joy, one night there was a great buck nigger who had a lot to say
about 'Africa for the Africans'. I had a few words with him in Sesutu
afterwards, and rather spoiled his visit. Some of the people were
extraordinarily good, especially one jolly old fellow who talked about
English folk songs and dances, and wanted us to set up a Maypole. In
the debates which generally followed I began to join, very coyly at
first, but presently with some confidence. If my time at Biggleswick
did nothing else it taught me to argue on my feet.</p>
<p>The first big effort I made was on a full-dress occasion, when
Launcelot Wake came down to speak. Mr Ivery was in the chair—the first
I had seen of him—a plump middle-aged man, with a colourless face and
nondescript features. I was not interested in him till he began to
talk, and then I sat bolt upright and took notice. For he was the
genuine silver-tongue, the sentences flowing from his mouth as smooth
as butter and as neatly dovetailed as a parquet floor. He had a sort of
man-of-the-world manner, treating his opponents with condescending
geniality, deprecating all passion and exaggeration and making you feel
that his urbane statement must be right, for if he had wanted he could
have put the case so much higher. I watched him, fascinated, studying
his face carefully; and the thing that struck me was that there was
nothing in it—nothing, that is to say, to lay hold on. It was simply
nondescript, so almightily commonplace that that very fact made it
rather remarkable.</p>
<p>Wake was speaking of the revelations of the Sukhomhnov trial in Russia,
which showed that Germany had not been responsible for the war. He was
jolly good at the job, and put as clear an argument as a first-class
lawyer. I had been sweating away at the subject and had all the
ordinary case at my fingers' ends, so when I got a chance of speaking I
gave them a long harangue, with some good quotations I had cribbed out
of the <i>Vossische Zeitung</i>, which Letchford lent me. I felt it was up
to me to be extra violent, for I wanted to establish my character with
Wake, seeing that he was a friend of Mary and Mary would know that I
was playing the game. I got tremendously applauded, far more than the
chief speaker, and after the meeting Wake came up to me with his hot
eyes, and wrung my hand. 'You're coming on well, Brand,' he said, and
then he introduced me to Mr Ivery. 'Here's a second and a better
Smuts,' he said.</p>
<p>Ivery made me walk a bit of the road home with him. 'I am struck by
your grip on these difficult problems, Mr Brand,' he told me. 'There is
much I can tell you, and you may be of great value to our cause.' He
asked me a lot of questions about my past, which I answered with easy
mendacity. Before we parted he made me promise to come one night to
supper.</p>
<p>Next day I got a glimpse of Mary, and to my vexation she cut me dead.
She was walking with a flock of bare-headed girls, all chattering hard,
and though she saw me quite plainly she turned away her eyes. I had
been waiting for my cue, so I did not lift my hat, but passed on as if
we were strangers. I reckoned it was part of the game, but that
trifling thing annoyed me, and I spent a morose evening.</p>
<p>The following day I saw her again, this time talking sedately with Mr
Ivery, and dressed in a very pretty summer gown, and a broad-brimmed
straw hat with flowers in it. This time she stopped with a bright smile
and held out her hand. 'Mr Brand, isn't it?' she asked with a pretty
hesitation. And then, turning to her companion—'This is Mr Brand. He
stayed with us last month in Gloucestershire.'</p>
<p>Mr Ivery announced that he and I were already acquainted. Seen in broad
daylight he was a very personable fellow, somewhere between forty-five
and fifty, with a middle-aged figure and a curiously young face. I
noticed that there were hardly any lines on it, and it was rather that
of a very wise child than that of a man. He had a pleasant smile which
made his jaw and cheeks expand like indiarubber. 'You are coming to sup
with me, Mr Brand,' he cried after me. 'On Tuesday after Moot. I have
already written.' He whisked Mary away from me, and I had to content
myself with contemplating her figure till it disappeared round a bend
of the road.</p>
<p>Next day in London I found a letter from Peter. He had been very solemn
of late, and very reminiscent of old days now that he concluded his
active life was over. But this time he was in a different mood. '<i>I
think,</i>' he wrote, '<i>that you and I will meet again soon, my old
friend. Do you remember when we went after the big black-maned lion in
the Rooirand and couldn't get on his track, and then one morning we
woke up and said we would get him today?—and we did, but he very near
got you first. I've had a feel these last days that we're both going
down into the Valley to meet with Apolyon, and that the devil will give
us a bad time, but anyhow we'll be together.</i>'</p>
<p>I had the same kind of feel myself, though I didn't see how Peter and I
were going to meet, unless I went out to the Front again and got put in
the bag and sent to the same Boche prison. But I had an instinct that
my time in Biggleswick was drawing to a close, and that presently I
would be in rougher quarters. I felt quite affectionate towards the
place, and took all my favourite walks, and drank my own health in the
brew of the village inns, with a consciousness of saying goodbye. Also
I made haste to finish my English classics, for I concluded I wouldn't
have much time in the future for miscellaneous reading.</p>
<p>The Tuesday came, and in the evening I set out rather late for the Moot
Hall, for I had been getting into decent clothes after a long, hot
stride. When I reached the place it was pretty well packed, and I could
only find a seat on the back benches. There on the platform was Ivery,
and beside him sat a figure that thrilled every inch of me with
affection and a wild anticipation. 'I have now the privilege,' said the
chairman, 'of introducing to you the speaker whom we so warmly welcome,
our fearless and indefatigable American friend, Mr Blenkiron.'</p>
<p>It was the old Blenkiron, but almightily changed. His stoutness had
gone, and he was as lean as Abraham Lincoln. Instead of a puffy face,
his cheek-bones and jaw stood out hard and sharp, and in place of his
former pasty colour his complexion had the clear glow of health. I saw
now that he was a splendid figure of a man, and when he got to his feet
every movement had the suppleness of an athlete in training. In that
moment I realized that my serious business had now begun. My senses
suddenly seemed quicker, my nerves tenser, my brain more active. The
big game had started, and he and I were playing it together.</p>
<p>I watched him with strained attention. It was a funny speech, stuffed
with extravagance and vehemence, not very well argued and terribly
discursive. His main point was that Germany was now in a fine
democratic mood and might well be admitted into a brotherly
partnership—that indeed she had never been in any other mood, but had
been forced into violence by the plots of her enemies. Much of it, I
should have thought, was in stark defiance of the Defence of the Realm
Acts, but if any wise Scotland Yard officer had listened to it he would
probably have considered it harmless because of its contradictions. It
was full of a fierce earnestness, and it was full of humour—long-drawn
American metaphors at which that most critical audience roared with
laughter. But it was not the kind of thing that they were accustomed
to, and I could fancy what Wake would have said of it. The conviction
grew upon me that Blenkiron was deliberately trying to prove himself an
honest idiot. If so, it was a huge success. He produced on one the
impression of the type of sentimental revolutionary who ruthlessly
knifes his opponent and then weeps and prays over his tomb.</p>
<p>Just at the end he seemed to pull himself together and to try a little
argument. He made a great point of the Austrian socialists going to
Stockholm, going freely and with their Government's assent, from a
country which its critics called an autocracy, while the democratic
western peoples held back. 'I admit I haven't any real water-tight
proof,' he said, 'but I will bet my bottom dollar that the influence
which moved the Austrian Government to allow this embassy of freedom
was the influence of Germany herself. And that is the land from which
the Allied Pharisees draw in their skirts lest their garments be
defiled!'</p>
<p>He sat down amid a good deal of applause, for his audience had not been
bored, though I could see that some of them thought his praise of
Germany a bit steep. It was all right in Biggleswick to prove Britain
in the wrong, but it was a slightly different thing to extol the enemy.
I was puzzled about his last point, for it was not of a piece with the
rest of his discourse, and I was trying to guess at his purpose. The
chairman referred to it in his concluding remarks. 'I am in a
position,' he said, 'to bear out all that the lecturer has said. I can
go further. I can assure him on the best authority that his surmise is
correct, and that Vienna's decision to send delegates to Stockholm was
largely dictated by representations from Berlin. I am given to
understand that the fact has in the last few days been admitted in the
Austrian Press.'</p>
<p>A vote of thanks was carried, and then I found myself shaking hands
with Ivery while Blenkiron stood a yard off, talking to one of the
Misses Weekes. The next moment I was being introduced.</p>
<p>'Mr Brand, very pleased to meet you,' said the voice I knew so well.
'Mr Ivery has been telling me about you, and I guess we've got
something to say to each other. We're both from noo countries, and
we've got to teach the old nations a little horse-sense.'</p>
<p>Mr Ivery's car—the only one left in the neighbourhood—carried us to
his villa, and presently we were seated in a brightly-lit dining-room.
It was not a pretty house, but it had the luxury of an expensive hotel,
and the supper we had was as good as any London restaurant. Gone were
the old days of fish and toast and boiled milk. Blenkiron squared his
shoulders and showed himself a noble trencherman.</p>
<p>'A year ago,' he told our host, 'I was the meanest kind of dyspeptic. I
had the love of righteousness in my heart, but I had the devil in my
stomach. Then I heard stories about the Robson Brothers, the star
surgeons way out west in White Springs, Nebraska. They were reckoned
the neatest hands in the world at carving up a man and removing
devilments from his intestines. Now, sir, I've always fought pretty shy
of surgeons, for I considered that our Maker never intended His
handiwork to be reconstructed like a bankrupt Dago railway. But by that
time I was feeling so almighty wretched that I could have paid a man to
put a bullet through my head. "There's no other way," I said to myself.
"Either you forget your religion and your miserable cowardice and get
cut up, or it's you for the Golden Shore." So I set my teeth and
journeyed to White Springs, and the Brothers had a look at my duodenum.
They saw that the darned thing wouldn't do, so they sidetracked it and
made a noo route for my noo-trition traffic. It was the cunningest
piece of surgery since the Lord took a rib out of the side of our First
Parent. They've got a mighty fine way of charging, too, for they take
five per cent of a man's income, and it's all one to them whether he's
a Meat King or a clerk on twenty dollars a week. I can tell you I took
some trouble to be a very rich man last year.'</p>
<p>All through the meal I sat in a kind of stupor. I was trying to
assimilate the new Blenkiron, and drinking in the comfort of his
heavenly drawl, and I was puzzling my head about Ivery. I had a
ridiculous notion that I had seen him before, but, delve as I might
into my memory, I couldn't place him. He was the incarnation of the
commonplace, a comfortable middle-class sentimentalist, who patronized
pacificism out of vanity, but was very careful not to dip his hands too
far. He was always damping down Blenkiron's volcanic utterances. 'Of
course, as you know, the other side have an argument which I find
rather hard to meet ...' 'I can sympathize with patriotism, and even
with jingoism, in certain moods, but I always come back to this
difficulty.' 'Our opponents are not ill-meaning so much as
ill-judging,'—these were the sort of sentences he kept throwing in.
And he was full of quotations from private conversations he had had
with every sort of person—including members of the Government. I
remember that he expressed great admiration for Mr Balfour.</p>
<p>Of all that talk, I only recalled one thing clearly, and I recalled it
because Blenkiron seemed to collect his wits and try to argue, just as
he had done at the end of his lecture. He was speaking about a story he
had heard from someone, who had heard it from someone else, that
Austria in the last week of July 1914 had accepted Russia's proposal to
hold her hand and negotiate, and that the Kaiser had sent a message to
the Tsar saying he agreed. According to his story this telegram had
been received in Petrograd, and had been re-written, like Bismarck's
Ems telegram, before it reached the Emperor. He expressed his disbelief
in the yarn. 'I reckon if it had been true,' he said, 'we'd have had
the right text out long ago. They'd have kept a copy in Berlin. All the
same I did hear a sort of rumour that some kind of message of that sort
was published in a German paper.'</p>
<p>Mr Ivery looked wise. 'You are right,' he said. 'I happen to know that
it has been published. You will find it in the <i>Wiener Zeitung</i>.'</p>
<p>'You don't say?' he said admiringly. 'I wish I could read the old
tombstone language. But if I could they wouldn't let me have the
papers.'</p>
<p>'Oh yes they would.' Mr Ivery laughed pleasantly. 'England has still a
good share of freedom. Any respectable person can get a permit to
import the enemy press. I'm not considered quite respectable, for the
authorities have a narrow definition of patriotism, but happily I have
respectable friends.'</p>
<p>Blenkiron was staying the night, and I took my leave as the clock
struck twelve. They both came into the hall to see me off, and, as I
was helping myself to a drink, and my host was looking for my hat and
stick, I suddenly heard Blenkiron's whisper in my ear. 'London ... the
day after tomorrow,' he said. Then he took a formal farewell. 'Mr
Brand, it's been an honour for me, as an American citizen, to make your
acquaintance, sir. I will consider myself fortunate if we have an early
reunion. I am stopping at Claridge's Ho-tel, and I hope to be
privileged to receive you there.'</p>
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