<p><SPAN name="c39" id="c39"></SPAN> </p>
<p> </p>
<h4>CHAPTER XXXIX</h4>
<h3>Attorney and Client<br/> </h3>
<p>The name of Mr. Vholes, preceded by the legend Ground-Floor, is
inscribed upon a door-post in Symond's Inn, Chancery Lane—a little,
pale, wall-eyed, woebegone inn like a large dust-binn of two
compartments and a sifter. It looks as if Symond were a sparing man
in his way and constructed his inn of old building materials which
took kindly to the dry rot and to dirt and all things decaying and
dismal, and perpetuated Symond's memory with congenial shabbiness.
Quartered in this dingy hatchment commemorative of Symond are the
legal bearings of Mr. Vholes.</p>
<p>Mr. Vholes's office, in disposition retiring and in situation
retired, is squeezed up in a corner and blinks at a dead wall. Three
feet of knotty-floored dark passage bring the client to Mr. Vholes's
jet-black door, in an angle profoundly dark on the brightest
midsummer morning and encumbered by a black bulk-head of cellarage
staircase against which belated civilians generally strike their
brows. Mr. Vholes's chambers are on so small a scale that one clerk
can open the door without getting off his stool, while the other who
elbows him at the same desk has equal facilities for poking the fire.
A smell as of unwholesome sheep blending with the smell of must and
dust is referable to the nightly (and often daily) consumption of
mutton fat in candles and to the fretting of parchment forms and
skins in greasy drawers. The atmosphere is otherwise stale and close.
The place was last painted or whitewashed beyond the memory of man,
and the two chimneys smoke, and there is a loose outer surface of
soot everywhere, and the dull cracked windows in their heavy frames
have but one piece of character in them, which is a determination to
be always dirty and always shut unless coerced. This accounts for the
phenomenon of the weaker of the two usually having a bundle of
firewood thrust between its jaws in hot weather.</p>
<p>Mr. Vholes is a very respectable man. He has not a large business,
but he is a very respectable man. He is allowed by the greater
attorneys who have made good fortunes or are making them to be a most
respectable man. He never misses a chance in his practice, which is a
mark of respectability. He never takes any pleasure, which is another
mark of respectability. He is reserved and serious, which is another
mark of respectability. His digestion is impaired, which is highly
respectable. And he is making hay of the grass which is flesh, for
his three daughters. And his father is dependent on him in the Vale
of Taunton.</p>
<p>The one great principle of the English law is to make business for
itself. There is no other principle distinctly, certainly, and
consistently maintained through all its narrow turnings. Viewed by
this light it becomes a coherent scheme and not the monstrous maze
the laity are apt to think it. Let them but once clearly perceive
that its grand principle is to make business for itself at their
expense, and surely they will cease to grumble.</p>
<p>But not perceiving this quite plainly—only seeing it by halves in a
confused way—the laity sometimes suffer in peace and pocket, with a
bad grace, and DO grumble very much. Then this respectability of Mr.
Vholes is brought into powerful play against them. "Repeal this
statute, my good sir?" says Mr. Kenge to a smarting client. "Repeal
it, my dear sir? Never, with my consent. Alter this law, sir, and
what will be the effect of your rash proceeding on a class of
practitioners very worthily represented, allow me to say to you, by
the opposite attorney in the case, Mr. Vholes? Sir, that class of
practitioners would be swept from the face of the earth. Now you
cannot afford—I will say, the social system cannot afford—to lose
an order of men like Mr. Vholes. Diligent, persevering, steady, acute
in business. My dear sir, I understand your present feelings against
the existing state of things, which I grant to be a little hard in
your case; but I can never raise my voice for the demolition of a
class of men like Mr. Vholes." The respectability of Mr. Vholes has
even been cited with crushing effect before Parliamentary committees,
as in the following blue minutes of a distinguished attorney's
evidence. "Question (number five hundred and seventeen thousand eight
hundred and sixty-nine): If I understand you, these forms of practice
indisputably occasion delay? Answer: Yes, some delay. Question: And
great expense? Answer: Most assuredly they cannot be gone through for
nothing. Question: And unspeakable vexation? Answer: I am not
prepared to say that. They have never given ME any vexation; quite
the contrary. Question: But you think that their abolition would
damage a class of practitioners? Answer: I have no doubt of it.
Question: Can you instance any type of that class? Answer: Yes. I
would unhesitatingly mention Mr. Vholes. He would be ruined.
Question: Mr. Vholes is considered, in the profession, a respectable
man? Answer:"—which proved fatal to the inquiry for ten years—"Mr.
Vholes is considered, in the profession, a MOST respectable man."</p>
<p>So in familiar conversation, private authorities no less
disinterested will remark that they don't know what this age is
coming to, that we are plunging down precipices, that now here is
something else gone, that these changes are death to people like
Vholes—a man of undoubted respectability, with a father in the Vale
of Taunton, and three daughters at home. Take a few steps more in
this direction, say they, and what is to become of Vholes's father?
Is he to perish? And of Vholes's daughters? Are they to be
shirt-makers, or governesses? As though, Mr. Vholes and his relations
being minor cannibal chiefs and it being proposed to abolish
cannibalism, indignant champions were to put the case thus: Make
man-eating unlawful, and you starve the Vholeses!</p>
<p>In a word, Mr. Vholes, with his three daughters and his father in the
Vale of Taunton, is continually doing duty, like a piece of timber,
to shore up some decayed foundation that has become a pitfall and a
nuisance. And with a great many people in a great many instances, the
question is never one of a change from wrong to right (which is quite
an extraneous consideration), but is always one of injury or
advantage to that eminently respectable legion, Vholes.</p>
<p>The Chancellor is, within these ten minutes, "up" for the long
vacation. Mr. Vholes, and his young client, and several blue bags
hastily stuffed out of all regularity of form, as the larger sort of
serpents are in their first gorged state, have returned to the
official den. Mr. Vholes, quiet and unmoved, as a man of so much
respectability ought to be, takes off his close black gloves as if he
were skinning his hands, lifts off his tight hat as if he were
scalping himself, and sits down at his desk. The client throws his
hat and gloves upon the ground—tosses them anywhere, without looking
after them or caring where they go; flings himself into a chair, half
sighing and half groaning; rests his aching head upon his hand and
looks the portrait of young despair.</p>
<p>"Again nothing done!" says Richard. "Nothing, nothing done!"</p>
<p>"Don't say nothing done, sir," returns the placid Vholes. "That is
scarcely fair, sir, scarcely fair!"</p>
<p>"Why, what IS done?" says Richard, turning gloomily upon him.</p>
<p>"That may not be the whole question," returns Vholes, "The question
may branch off into what is doing, what is doing?"</p>
<p>"And what is doing?" asks the moody client.</p>
<p>Vholes, sitting with his arms on the desk, quietly bringing the tips
of his five right fingers to meet the tips of his five left fingers,
and quietly separating them again, and fixedly and slowly looking at
his client, replies, "A good deal is doing, sir. We have put our
shoulders to the wheel, Mr. Carstone, and the wheel is going round."</p>
<p>"Yes, with Ixion on it. How am I to get through the next four or five
accursed months?" exclaims the young man, rising from his chair and
walking about the room.</p>
<p>"Mr. C.," returns Vholes, following him close with his eyes wherever
he goes, "your spirits are hasty, and I am sorry for it on your
account. Excuse me if I recommend you not to chafe so much, not to be
so impetuous, not to wear yourself out so. You should have more
patience. You should sustain yourself better."</p>
<p>"I ought to imitate you, in fact, Mr. Vholes?" says Richard, sitting
down again with an impatient laugh and beating the devil's tattoo
with his boot on the patternless carpet.</p>
<p>"Sir," returns Vholes, always looking at the client as if he were
making a lingering meal of him with his eyes as well as with his
professional appetite. "Sir," returns Vholes with his inward manner
of speech and his bloodless quietude, "I should not have had the
presumption to propose myself as a model for your imitation or any
man's. Let me but leave the good name to my three daughters, and that
is enough for me; I am not a self-seeker. But since you mention me so
pointedly, I will acknowledge that I should like to impart to you a
little of my—come, sir, you are disposed to call it insensibility,
and I am sure I have no objection—say insensibility—a little of my
insensibility."</p>
<p>"Mr. Vholes," explains the client, somewhat abashed, "I had no
intention to accuse you of insensibility."</p>
<p>"I think you had, sir, without knowing it," returns the equable
Vholes. "Very naturally. It is my duty to attend to your interests
with a cool head, and I can quite understand that to your excited
feelings I may appear, at such times as the present, insensible. My
daughters may know me better; my aged father may know me better. But
they have known me much longer than you have, and the confiding eye
of affection is not the distrustful eye of business. Not that I
complain, sir, of the eye of business being distrustful; quite the
contrary. In attending to your interests, I wish to have all possible
checks upon me; it is right that I should have them; I court inquiry.
But your interests demand that I should be cool and methodical, Mr.
Carstone; and I cannot be otherwise—no, sir, not even to please
you."</p>
<p>Mr. Vholes, after glancing at the official cat who is patiently
watching a mouse's hole, fixes his charmed gaze again on his young
client and proceeds in his buttoned-up, half-audible voice as if
there were an unclean spirit in him that will neither come out nor
speak out, "What are you to do, sir, you inquire, during the
vacation. I should hope you gentlemen of the army may find many means
of amusing yourselves if you give your minds to it. If you had asked
me what I was to do during the vacation, I could have answered you
more readily. I am to attend to your interests. I am to be found
here, day by day, attending to your interests. That is my duty, Mr.
C., and term-time or vacation makes no difference to me. If you wish
to consult me as to your interests, you will find me here at all
times alike. Other professional men go out of town. I don't. Not that
I blame them for going; I merely say I don't go. This desk is your
rock, sir!"</p>
<p>Mr. Vholes gives it a rap, and it sounds as hollow as a coffin. Not
to Richard, though. There is encouragement in the sound to him.
Perhaps Mr. Vholes knows there is.</p>
<p>"I am perfectly aware, Mr. Vholes," says Richard, more familiarly and
good-humouredly, "that you are the most reliable fellow in the world
and that to have to do with you is to have to do with a man of
business who is not to be hoodwinked. But put yourself in my case,
dragging on this dislocated life, sinking deeper and deeper into
difficulty every day, continually hoping and continually
disappointed, conscious of change upon change for the worse in
myself, and of no change for the better in anything else, and you
will find it a dark-looking case sometimes, as I do."</p>
<p>"You know," says Mr. Vholes, "that I never give hopes, sir. I told
you from the first, Mr. C., that I never give hopes. Particularly in
a case like this, where the greater part of the costs comes out of
the estate, I should not be considerate of my good name if I gave
hopes. It might seem as if costs were my object. Still, when you say
there is no change for the better, I must, as a bare matter of fact,
deny that."</p>
<p>"Aye?" returns Richard, brightening. "But how do you make it out?"</p>
<p>"Mr. Carstone, you are represented by—"</p>
<p>"You said just now—a rock."</p>
<p>"Yes, sir," says Mr. Vholes, gently shaking his head and rapping the
hollow desk, with a sound as if ashes were falling on ashes, and dust
on dust, "a rock. That's something. You are separately represented,
and no longer hidden and lost in the interests of others. THAT'S
something. The suit does not sleep; we wake it up, we air it, we walk
it about. THAT'S something. It's not all Jarndyce, in fact as well as
in name. THAT'S something. Nobody has it all his own way now, sir.
And THAT'S something, surely."</p>
<p>Richard, his face flushing suddenly, strikes the desk with his
clenched hand.</p>
<p>"Mr. Vholes! If any man had told me when I first went to John
Jarndyce's house that he was anything but the disinterested friend he
seemed—that he was what he has gradually turned out to be—I could
have found no words strong enough to repel the slander; I could not
have defended him too ardently. So little did I know of the world!
Whereas now I do declare to you that he becomes to me the embodiment
of the suit; that in place of its being an abstraction, it is John
Jarndyce; that the more I suffer, the more indignant I am with him;
that every new delay and every new disappointment is only a new
injury from John Jarndyce's hand."</p>
<p>"No, no," says Vholes. "Don't say so. We ought to have patience, all
of us. Besides, I never disparage, sir. I never disparage."</p>
<p>"Mr. Vholes," returns the angry client. "You know as well as I that
he would have strangled the suit if he could."</p>
<p>"He was not active in it," Mr. Vholes admits with an appearance of
reluctance. "He certainly was not active in it. But however, but
however, he might have had amiable intentions. Who can read the
heart, Mr. C.!"</p>
<p>"You can," returns Richard.</p>
<p>"I, Mr. C.?"</p>
<p>"Well enough to know what his intentions were. Are or are not our
interests conflicting? Tell—me—that!" says Richard, accompanying
his last three words with three raps on his rock of trust.</p>
<p>"Mr. C.," returns Vholes, immovable in attitude and never winking his
hungry eyes, "I should be wanting in my duty as your professional
adviser, I should be departing from my fidelity to your interests, if
I represented those interests as identical with the interests of Mr.
Jarndyce. They are no such thing, sir. I never impute motives; I both
have and am a father, and I never impute motives. But I must not
shrink from a professional duty, even if it sows dissensions in
families. I understand you to be now consulting me professionally as
to your interests? You are so? I reply, then, they are not identical
with those of Mr. Jarndyce."</p>
<p>"Of course they are not!" cries Richard. "You found that out long
ago."</p>
<p>"Mr. C.," returns Vholes, "I wish to say no more of any third party
than is necessary. I wish to leave my good name unsullied, together
with any little property of which I may become possessed through
industry and perseverance, to my daughters Emma, Jane, and Caroline.
I also desire to live in amity with my professional brethren. When
Mr. Skimpole did me the honour, sir—I will not say the very high
honour, for I never stoop to flattery—of bringing us together in
this room, I mentioned to you that I could offer no opinion or advice
as to your interests while those interests were entrusted to another
member of the profession. And I spoke in such terms as I was bound to
speak of Kenge and Carboy's office, which stands high. You, sir,
thought fit to withdraw your interests from that keeping nevertheless
and to offer them to me. You brought them with clean hands, sir, and
I accepted them with clean hands. Those interests are now paramount
in this office. My digestive functions, as you may have heard me
mention, are not in a good state, and rest might improve them; but I
shall not rest, sir, while I am your representative. Whenever you
want me, you will find me here. Summon me anywhere, and I will come.
During the long vacation, sir, I shall devote my leisure to studying
your interests more and more closely and to making arrangements for
moving heaven and earth (including, of course, the Chancellor) after
Michaelmas term; and when I ultimately congratulate you, sir," says
Mr. Vholes with the severity of a determined man, "when I ultimately
congratulate you, sir, with all my heart, on your accession to
fortune—which, but that I never give hopes, I might say something
further about—you will owe me nothing beyond whatever little balance
may be then outstanding of the costs as between solicitor and client
not included in the taxed costs allowed out of the estate. I pretend
to no claim upon you, Mr. C., but for the zealous and active
discharge—not the languid and routine discharge, sir: that much
credit I stipulate for—of my professional duty. My duty prosperously
ended, all between us is ended."</p>
<p>Vholes finally adds, by way of rider to this declaration of his
principles, that as Mr. Carstone is about to rejoin his regiment,
perhaps Mr. C. will favour him with an order on his agent for twenty
pounds on account.</p>
<p>"For there have been many little consultations and attendances of
late, sir," observes Vholes, turning over the leaves of his diary,
"and these things mount up, and I don't profess to be a man of
capital. When we first entered on our present relations I stated to
you openly—it is a principle of mine that there never can be too
much openness between solicitor and client—that I was not a man of
capital and that if capital was your object you had better leave your
papers in Kenge's office. No, Mr. C., you will find none of the
advantages or disadvantages of capital here, sir. This," Vholes gives
the desk one hollow blow again, "is your rock; it pretends to be
nothing more."</p>
<p>The client, with his dejection insensibly relieved and his vague
hopes rekindled, takes pen and ink and writes the draft, not without
perplexed consideration and calculation of the date it may bear,
implying scant effects in the agent's hands. All the while, Vholes,
buttoned up in body and mind, looks at him attentively. All the
while, Vholes's official cat watches the mouse's hole.</p>
<p>Lastly, the client, shaking hands, beseeches Mr. Vholes, for heaven's
sake and earth's sake, to do his utmost to "pull him through" the
Court of Chancery. Mr. Vholes, who never gives hopes, lays his palm
upon the client's shoulder and answers with a smile, "Always here,
sir. Personally, or by letter, you will always find me here, sir,
with my shoulder to the wheel." Thus they part, and Vholes, left
alone, employs himself in carrying sundry little matters out of his
diary into his draft bill book for the ultimate behoof of his three
daughters. So might an industrious fox or bear make up his account of
chickens or stray travellers with an eye to his cubs, not to
disparage by that word the three raw-visaged, lank, and buttoned-up
maidens who dwell with the parent Vholes in an earthy cottage
situated in a damp garden at Kennington.</p>
<p>Richard, emerging from the heavy shade of Symond's Inn into the
sunshine of Chancery Lane—for there happens to be sunshine there
to-day—walks thoughtfully on, and turns into Lincoln's Inn, and
passes under the shadow of the Lincoln's Inn trees. On many such
loungers have the speckled shadows of those trees often fallen; on
the like bent head, the bitten nail, the lowering eye, the lingering
step, the purposeless and dreamy air, the good consuming and
consumed, the life turned sour. This lounger is not shabby yet, but
that may come. Chancery, which knows no wisdom but in precedent, is
very rich in such precedents; and why should one be different from
ten thousand?</p>
<p>Yet the time is so short since his depreciation began that as he
saunters away, reluctant to leave the spot for some long months
together, though he hates it, Richard himself may feel his own case
as if it were a startling one. While his heart is heavy with
corroding care, suspense, distrust, and doubt, it may have room for
some sorrowful wonder when he recalls how different his first visit
there, how different he, how different all the colours of his mind.
But injustice breeds injustice; the fighting with shadows and being
defeated by them necessitates the setting up of substances to combat;
from the impalpable suit which no man alive can understand, the time
for that being long gone by, it has become a gloomy relief to turn to
the palpable figure of the friend who would have saved him from this
ruin and make HIM his enemy. Richard has told Vholes the truth. Is he
in a hardened or a softened mood, he still lays his injuries equally
at that door; he was thwarted, in that quarter, of a set purpose, and
that purpose could only originate in the one subject that is
resolving his existence into itself; besides, it is a justification
to him in his own eyes to have an embodied antagonist and oppressor.</p>
<p>Is Richard a monster in all this, or would Chancery be found rich in
such precedents too if they could be got for citation from the
Recording Angel?</p>
<p>Two pairs of eyes not unused to such people look after him, as,
biting his nails and brooding, he crosses the square and is swallowed
up by the shadow of the southern gateway. Mr. Guppy and Mr. Weevle
are the possessors of those eyes, and they have been leaning in
conversation against the low stone parapet under the trees. He passes
close by them, seeing nothing but the ground.</p>
<p>"William," says Mr. Weevle, adjusting his whiskers, "there's
combustion going on there! It's not a case of spontaneous, but it's
smouldering combustion it is."</p>
<p>"Ah!" says Mr. Guppy. "He wouldn't keep out of Jarndyce, and I
suppose he's over head and ears in debt. I never knew much of him. He
was as high as the monument when he was on trial at our place. A good
riddance to me, whether as clerk or client! Well, Tony, that as I was
mentioning is what they're up to."</p>
<p>Mr. Guppy, refolding his arms, resettles himself against the parapet,
as resuming a conversation of interest.</p>
<p>"They are still up to it, sir," says Mr. Guppy, "still taking stock,
still examining papers, still going over the heaps and heaps of
rubbish. At this rate they'll be at it these seven years."</p>
<p>"And Small is helping?"</p>
<p>"Small left us at a week's notice. Told Kenge his grandfather's
business was too much for the old gentleman and he could better
himself by undertaking it. There had been a coolness between myself
and Small on account of his being so close. But he said you and I
began it, and as he had me there—for we did—I put our acquaintance
on the old footing. That's how I come to know what they're up to."</p>
<p>"You haven't looked in at all?"</p>
<p>"Tony," says Mr. Guppy, a little disconcerted, "to be unreserved with
you, I don't greatly relish the house, except in your company, and
therefore I have not; and therefore I proposed this little
appointment for our fetching away your things. There goes the hour by
the clock! Tony"—Mr. Guppy becomes mysteriously and tenderly
eloquent—"it is necessary that I should impress upon your mind once
more that circumstances over which I have no control have made a
melancholy alteration in my most cherished plans and in that
unrequited image which I formerly mentioned to you as a friend. That
image is shattered, and that idol is laid low. My only wish now in
connexion with the objects which I had an idea of carrying out in the
court with your aid as a friend is to let 'em alone and bury 'em in
oblivion. Do you think it possible, do you think it at all likely (I
put it to you, Tony, as a friend), from your knowledge of that
capricious and deep old character who fell a prey to the—spontaneous
element, do you, Tony, think it at all likely that on second thoughts
he put those letters away anywhere, after you saw him alive, and that
they were not destroyed that night?"</p>
<p>Mr. Weevle reflects for some time. Shakes his head. Decidedly thinks
not.</p>
<p>"Tony," says Mr. Guppy as they walk towards the court, "once again
understand me, as a friend. Without entering into further
explanations, I may repeat that the idol is down. I have no purpose
to serve now but burial in oblivion. To that I have pledged myself. I
owe it to myself, and I owe it to the shattered image, as also to the
circumstances over which I have no control. If you was to express to
me by a gesture, by a wink, that you saw lying anywhere in your late
lodgings any papers that so much as looked like the papers in
question, I would pitch them into the fire, sir, on my own
responsibility."</p>
<p>Mr. Weevle nods. Mr. Guppy, much elevated in his own opinion by
having delivered these observations, with an air in part forensic and
in part romantic—this gentleman having a passion for conducting
anything in the form of an examination, or delivering anything in the
form of a summing up or a speech—accompanies his friend with dignity
to the court.</p>
<p>Never since it has been a court has it had such a Fortunatus' purse
of gossip as in the proceedings at the rag and bottle shop.
Regularly, every morning at eight, is the elder Mr. Smallweed brought
down to the corner and carried in, accompanied by Mrs. Smallweed,
Judy, and Bart; and regularly, all day, do they all remain there
until nine at night, solaced by gipsy dinners, not abundant in
quantity, from the cook's shop, rummaging and searching, digging,
delving, and diving among the treasures of the late lamented. What
those treasures are they keep so secret that the court is maddened.
In its delirium it imagines guineas pouring out of tea-pots,
crown-pieces overflowing punch-bowls, old chairs and mattresses
stuffed with Bank of England notes. It possesses itself of the
sixpenny history (with highly coloured folding frontispiece) of Mr.
Daniel Dancer and his sister, and also of Mr. Elwes, of Suffolk, and
transfers all the facts from those authentic narratives to Mr. Krook.
Twice when the dustman is called in to carry off a cartload of old
paper, ashes, and broken bottles, the whole court assembles and pries
into the baskets as they come forth. Many times the two gentlemen who
write with the ravenous little pens on the tissue-paper are seen
prowling in the neighbourhood—shy of each other, their late
partnership being dissolved. The Sol skilfully carries a vein of the
prevailing interest through the Harmonic nights. Little Swills, in
what are professionally known as "patter" allusions to the subject,
is received with loud applause; and the same vocalist "gags" in the
regular business like a man inspired. Even Miss M. Melvilleson, in
the revived Caledonian melody of "We're a-Nodding," points the
sentiment that "the dogs love broo" (whatever the nature of that
refreshment may be) with such archness and such a turn of the head
towards next door that she is immediately understood to mean Mr.
Smallweed loves to find money, and is nightly honoured with a double
encore. For all this, the court discovers nothing; and as Mrs. Piper
and Mrs. Perkins now communicate to the late lodger whose appearance
is the signal for a general rally, it is in one continual ferment to
discover everything, and more.</p>
<p>Mr. Weevle and Mr. Guppy, with every eye in the court's head upon
them, knock at the closed door of the late lamented's house, in a
high state of popularity. But being contrary to the court's
expectation admitted, they immediately become unpopular and are
considered to mean no good.</p>
<p>The shutters are more or less closed all over the house, and the
ground-floor is sufficiently dark to require candles. Introduced into
the back shop by Mr. Smallweed the younger, they, fresh from the
sunlight, can at first see nothing save darkness and shadows; but
they gradually discern the elder Mr. Smallweed seated in his chair
upon the brink of a well or grave of waste-paper, the virtuous Judy
groping therein like a female sexton, and Mrs. Smallweed on the level
ground in the vicinity snowed up in a heap of paper fragments, print,
and manuscript which would appear to be the accumulated compliments
that have been sent flying at her in the course of the day. The whole
party, Small included, are blackened with dust and dirt and present a
fiendish appearance not relieved by the general aspect of the room.
There is more litter and lumber in it than of old, and it is dirtier
if possible; likewise, it is ghostly with traces of its dead
inhabitant and even with his chalked writing on the wall.</p>
<p>On the entrance of visitors, Mr. Smallweed and Judy simultaneously
fold their arms and stop in their researches.</p>
<p>"Aha!" croaks the old gentleman. "How de do, gentlemen, how de do!
Come to fetch your property, Mr. Weevle? That's well, that's well.
Ha! Ha! We should have been forced to sell you up, sir, to pay your
warehouse room if you had left it here much longer. You feel quite at
home here again, I dare say? Glad to see you, glad to see you!"</p>
<p>Mr. Weevle, thanking him, casts an eye about. Mr. Guppy's eye follows
Mr. Weevle's eye. Mr. Weevle's eye comes back without any new
intelligence in it. Mr. Guppy's eye comes back and meets Mr.
Smallweed's eye. That engaging old gentleman is still murmuring, like
some wound-up instrument running down, "How de do, sir—how
de—<span class="nowrap">how—"</span> And
then having run down, he lapses into grinning silence,
as Mr. Guppy starts at seeing Mr. Tulkinghorn standing in the
darkness opposite with his hands behind him.</p>
<p>"Gentleman so kind as to act as my solicitor," says Grandfather
Smallweed. "I am not the sort of client for a gentleman of such note,
but he is so good!"</p>
<p>Mr. Guppy, slightly nudging his friend to take another look, makes a
shuffling bow to Mr. Tulkinghorn, who returns it with an easy nod.
Mr. Tulkinghorn is looking on as if he had nothing else to do and
were rather amused by the novelty.</p>
<p>"A good deal of property here, sir, I should say," Mr. Guppy observes
to Mr. Smallweed.</p>
<p>"Principally rags and rubbish, my dear friend! Rags and rubbish! Me
and Bart and my granddaughter Judy are endeavouring to make out an
inventory of what's worth anything to sell. But we haven't come to
much as yet; we—haven't—come—to—hah!"</p>
<p>Mr. Smallweed has run down again, while Mr. Weevle's eye, attended by
Mr. Guppy's eye, has again gone round the room and come back.</p>
<p>"Well, sir," says Mr. Weevle. "We won't intrude any longer if you'll
allow us to go upstairs."</p>
<p>"Anywhere, my dear sir, anywhere! You're at home. Make yourself so,
pray!"</p>
<p>As they go upstairs, Mr. Guppy lifts his eyebrows inquiringly and
looks at Tony. Tony shakes his head. They find the old room very dull
and dismal, with the ashes of the fire that was burning on that
memorable night yet in the discoloured grate. They have a great
disinclination to touch any object, and carefully blow the dust from
it first. Nor are they desirous to prolong their visit, packing the
few movables with all possible speed and never speaking above a
whisper.</p>
<p>"Look here," says Tony, recoiling. "Here's that horrible cat coming
in!"</p>
<p>Mr. Guppy retreats behind a chair. "Small told me of her. She went
leaping and bounding and tearing about that night like a dragon, and
got out on the house-top, and roamed about up there for a fortnight,
and then came tumbling down the chimney very thin. Did you ever see
such a brute? Looks as if she knew all about it, don't she? Almost
looks as if she was Krook. Shoohoo! Get out, you goblin!"</p>
<p>Lady Jane, in the doorway, with her tiger snarl from ear to ear and
her club of a tail, shows no intention of obeying; but Mr.
Tulkinghorn stumbling over her, she spits at his rusty legs, and
swearing wrathfully, takes her arched back upstairs. Possibly to roam
the house-tops again and return by the chimney.</p>
<p>"Mr. Guppy," says Mr. Tulkinghorn, "could I have a word with you?"</p>
<p>Mr. Guppy is engaged in collecting the Galaxy Gallery of British
Beauty from the wall and depositing those works of art in their old
ignoble band-box. "Sir," he returns, reddening, "I wish to act with
courtesy towards every member of the profession, and especially, I am
sure, towards a member of it so well known as yourself—I will truly
add, sir, so distinguished as yourself. Still, Mr. Tulkinghorn, sir,
I must stipulate that if you have any word with me, that word is
spoken in the presence of my friend."</p>
<p>"Oh, indeed?" says Mr. Tulkinghorn.</p>
<p>"Yes, sir. My reasons are not of a personal nature at all, but they
are amply sufficient for myself."</p>
<p>"No doubt, no doubt." Mr. Tulkinghorn is as imperturbable as the
hearthstone to which he has quietly walked. "The matter is not of
that consequence that I need put you to the trouble of making any
conditions, Mr. Guppy." He pauses here to smile, and his smile is as
dull and rusty as his pantaloons. "You are to be congratulated, Mr.
Guppy; you are a fortunate young man, sir."</p>
<p>"Pretty well so, Mr. Tulkinghorn; I don't complain."</p>
<p>"Complain? High friends, free admission to great houses, and access
to elegant ladies! Why, Mr. Guppy, there are people in London who
would give their ears to be you."</p>
<p>Mr. Guppy, looking as if he would give his own reddening and still
reddening ears to be one of those people at present instead of
himself, replies, "Sir, if I attend to my profession and do what is
right by Kenge and Carboy, my friends and acquaintances are of no
consequence to them nor to any member of the profession, not
excepting Mr. Tulkinghorn of the Fields. I am not under any
obligation to explain myself further; and with all respect for you,
sir, and without offence—I repeat, without
<span class="nowrap">offence—"</span></p>
<p>"Oh, certainly!"</p>
<p>"—I don't intend to do it."</p>
<p>"Quite so," says Mr. Tulkinghorn with a calm nod. "Very good; I see
by these portraits that you take a strong interest in the fashionable
great, sir?"</p>
<p>He addresses this to the astounded Tony, who admits the soft
impeachment.</p>
<p>"A virtue in which few Englishmen are deficient," observes Mr.
Tulkinghorn. He has been standing on the hearthstone with his back to
the smoked chimney-piece, and now turns round with his glasses to his
eyes. "Who is this? 'Lady Dedlock.' Ha! A very good likeness in its
way, but it wants force of character. Good day to you, gentlemen;
good day!"</p>
<p>When he has walked out, Mr. Guppy, in a great perspiration, nerves
himself to the hasty completion of the taking down of the Galaxy
Gallery, concluding with Lady Dedlock.</p>
<p>"Tony," he says hurriedly to his astonished companion, "let us be
quick in putting the things together and in getting out of this
place. It were in vain longer to conceal from you, Tony, that between
myself and one of the members of a swan-like aristocracy whom I now
hold in my hand, there has been undivulged communication and
association. The time might have been when I might have revealed it
to you. It never will be more. It is due alike to the oath I have
taken, alike to the shattered idol, and alike to circumstances over
which I have no control, that the whole should be buried in oblivion.
I charge you as a friend, by the interest you have ever testified in
the fashionable intelligence, and by any little advances with which I
may have been able to accommodate you, so to bury it without a word
of inquiry!"</p>
<p>This charge Mr. Guppy delivers in a state little short of forensic
lunacy, while his friend shows a dazed mind in his whole head of hair
and even in his cultivated whiskers.</p>
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