Wine, Water and Song

<h2><SPAN class="pagenum" name="Page_31" title="31"> </SPAN>The Logical Vegetarian</h2> <blockquote> <p>&ldquo;Why shouldn't I have a purely vegetarian drink? Why shouldn't I take vegetables in their highest form, so to speak? The modest vegetarians ought obviously to stick to wine or beer, plain vegetarian drinks, instead of filling their goblets with the blood of bulls and elephants, as all conventional meat-eaters do, I suppose.&rdquo;&mdash;<span class="small-caps">Dalroy.</span></p> </blockquote> <div class="poetry width23"> <div class="stanza"> <div class="line indent2"><span class="upper-case">You</span> will find me drinking rum,<br/></div> <div class="line indent2">Like a sailor in a slum,<br/></div> <div class="line">You will find me drinking beer like a Bavarian.<br/></div> <div class="line indent2">You will find me drinking gin<br/></div> <div class="line indent2">In the lowest kind of inn,<br/></div> <div class="line">Because I am a rigid Vegetarian.<br/></div> </div><div class="stanza"> <SPAN class="pagenum" name="Page_32" title="32"> </SPAN><div class="line indent2">So I cleared the inn of wine,<br/></div> <div class="line indent2">And I tried to climb the sign,<br/></div> <div class="line">And I tried to hail the constable as &ldquo;Marion.&rdquo;<br/></div> <div class="line indent2">But he said I couldn't speak,<br/></div> <div class="line indent2">And he bowled me to the Beak<br/></div> <div class="line">Because I was a Happy Vegetarian.<br/></div> </div><div class="stanza"> <div class="line indent2">Oh, I knew a Doctor Gluck,<br/></div> <div class="line indent2">And his nose it had a hook,<br/></div> <div class="line">And his attitudes were anything but Aryan;<br/></div> <div class="line indent2">So I gave him all the pork<br/></div> <div class="line indent2">That I had, upon a fork;<br/></div> <div class="line">Because I am myself a Vegetarian.<br/></div> </div><div class="stanza"> <SPAN class="pagenum" name="Page_33" title="33"> </SPAN><div class="line indent2">I am silent in the Club,<br/></div> <div class="line indent2">I am silent in the pub.,<br/></div> <div class="line">I am silent on a bally peak in Darien;<br/></div> <div class="line indent2">For I stuff away for life<br/></div> <div class="line indent2">Shoving peas in with a knife,<br/></div> <div class="line">Because I am at heart a Vegetarian.<br/></div> </div><div class="stanza"> <div class="line indent2">No more the milk of cows<br/></div> <div class="line indent2">Shall pollute my private house<br/></div> <div class="line">Than the milk of the wild mares of the Barbarian;<br/></div> <div class="line indent2">I will stick to port and sherry,<br/></div> <div class="line indent2">For they are so very, very,<br/></div> <div class="line">So very, very, very Vegetarian.<br/></div> </div></div> <div style="break-after:column;"></div><br />