<h4><SPAN name="CHAPTER37" id="CHAPTER37">CHAPTER XI.<br/>
BELINDA'S WEDDING–DAY.</SPAN></h4>
<p></p>
<p>The sun shone upon Belinda Lawford's wedding–day. The birds were
singing in the garden under her window as she opened her lattice and looked
out. The word lattice is not a poetical license in this case; for Miss
Lawford's chamber was a roomy, old–fashioned apartment at the back of the
house, with deep window–seats and diamond–paned casements.</p>
<p>The sun shone, and the roses bloomed in all their summer glory. "'Twas in
the time of roses," as gentle–minded Thomas Hood so sweetly sang; surely
the time of all others for a bridal morning. The girl looked out into the
sunshine with her loose hair falling about her shoulders, and lingered a little
looking at the familiar garden, with a half–pensive smile.</p>
<p>"Oh, how often, how often," she said, "I have walked up and down by those
laburnums, Letty!" There were two pretty white–curtained bedsteads in the
old–fashioned room, and Miss Arundel had shared her friend's apartment
for the last week. "How often mamma and I have sat under the dear old cedar,
making our poor children's frocks! People say monotonous lives are not happy:
mine has been the same thing over and over again; and yet how happy, how happy!
And to think that we"––she paused a moment, and the rosy colour in
her cheeks deepened by just one shade; it was so sweet to use that simple
monosyllable "we" when Edward Arundel was the other half of the
pronoun,––"to think that we shall be in Paris to–morrow!"</p>
<p>"Driving in the Bois," exclaimed Miss Arundel; "and dining at the Maison
Dor�e, or the Caf� de Paris. Don't dine at Meurice's, Linda; it's dreadfully
slow dining at one's hotel. And you'll be a young married woman, and can do
anything, you know. If I were a young married woman, I'd ask my husband to take
me to the Mabille, just for half an hour, with an old bonnet and a thick veil.
I knew a girl whose first–cousin married a cornet in the Guards, and they
went to the Mabille one night. Come, Belinda, if you mean to have your
back–hair done at all, you'd better sit down at once and let me commence
operations."</p>
<p>Miss Arundel had stipulated that, upon this particular morning, she was to
dress her friend's hair; and she turned up the frilled sleeves of her white
dressing–gown, and set to work in the orthodox manner, spreading a
network of shining tresses about Miss Lawford's shoulders, prior to the weaving
of elaborate plaits that were to make a crown for the fair young bride.
Letitia's tongue went as fast as her fingers; but Belinda was very silent.</p>
<p>She was thinking of the bounteous Providence that had given her the man she
loved for her husband. She had been on her knees in the early morning, long
before Letitia's awakening, breathing out innocent thanksgiving for the
happiness that overflowed her fresh young heart. A woman had need to be
country–bred, and to have been reared in the narrow circle of a happy
home, to feel as Belinda Lawford felt. Such love as hers is only given to
bright and innocent spirits, untarnished even by the knowledge of sin.</p>
<p>Downstairs Edward Arundel was making a wretched pretence of breakfasting
<em>t�te–�–t�te</em> with his future father–in–law.</p>
<p>The Major had held his peace as to the unlooked–for visitant of the
past night. He had given particular orders that no stranger should be admitted
to the house, and that was all. But being of a naturally frank, not to say
loquacious disposition, the weight of this secret was a very terrible burden to
the honest half–pay soldier. He ate his dry toast uneasily, looking at
the door every now and then, in the perpetual expectation of beholding that
barrier burst open by mad Olivia Marchmont.</p>
<p>The breakfast was not a very cheerful meal, therefore. I don't suppose any
ante–nuptial breakfast ever is very jovial. There was the state
banquet––<em>the</em> wedding breakfast––to be eaten
by–and–by; and Mrs. Lawford, attended by all the females of the
establishment, was engaged in putting the last touches to the groups of fruit
and confectionery, the pyramids of flowers, and that crowning glory, the
wedding–cake.</p>
<p>"Remember the Madeira and still Hock are to go round first, and then the
sparkling; and tell Gogram to be particular about the corks, Martha," Mrs.
Lawford said to her confidential maid, as she gave a nervous last look at the
table. "I was at a breakfast once where a champagne–cork hit the
bridegroom on the bridge of his nose at the very moment he rose to return
thanks; and being a nervous man, poor fellow,––in point of fact, he
was a curate, and the bride was the rector's daughter, with two hundred a year
of her own,––it quite overcame him, and he didn't get over it all
through the breakfast. And now I must run and put on my bonnet."</p>
<p>There was nothing but putting on bonnets, and pinning lace–shawls, and
wild outcries for hair–pins, and interchanging of little feminine
services, upon the bedroom floor for the next half–hour.</p>
<p>Major Lawford walked up and down the hall, putting on his white gloves,
which were too large for him,––elderly men's white gloves always
are too large for them,––and watching the door of the citadel.
Olivia must pass over a father's body, the old soldier thought, before she
should annoy Belinda on her bridal morning.</p>
<p>By–and–by the carriages came round to the door. The girl
bridesmaids came crowding down the stairs, hustling each other's crisped
garments, and disputing a little in a sisterly fashion; then Letitia Arundel,
with nine rustling flounces of white silk ebbing and flowing and surging about
her, and with a pleased simper upon her face; and then followed Mrs. Arundel,
stately in silver–grey moire, and Mrs. Lawford, in violet
silk––until the hall was a show of bonnets and bouquets and
muslin.</p>
<p>And last of all, Belinda Lawford, robed in cloudlike garments of spotless
lace, with bridal flowers trembling round her hair, came slowly down the broad
old–fashioned staircase, to see her lover loitering in the hall below.</p>
<p>He looked very grave; but he greeted his bride with a tender smile. He loved
her, but he could not forget. Even upon this, his wedding–day, the
haunting shadow of the past was with him: not to be shaken off.</p>
<p>He did not wait till Belinda reached the bottom of the staircase. There was
a sort of ceremonial law to be observed, and he was not to speak to Miss
Lawford upon this special morning until he met her in the vestry at
Hillingsworth church; so Letitia and Mrs. Arundel hustled the young man into
one of the carriages, while Major Lawford ran to receive his daughter at the
foot of the stairs.</p>
<p>The Arundel carriage drove off about five minutes before the vehicle that
was to convey Major Lawford, Belinda, and as many of the girl bridesmaids as
could be squeezed into it without detriment to lace and muslin. The rest went
with Mrs. Lawford in the third and last carriage. Hillingsworth church was
about three–quarters of a mile from the Grange. It was a pretty irregular
old place, lying in a little nook under the shadow of a great yew–tree.
Behind the square Norman tower there was a row of poplars, black against the
blue summer sky; and between the low gate of the churchyard and the grey,
moss–grown porch, there was an avenue of good old elms. The rooks were
calling to each other in the topmost branches of the trees as Major Lawford's
carriage drew up at the churchyard gate.</p>
<p>Belinda was a great favourite amongst the poor of Hillingsworth parish, and
the place had put on a gala–day aspect in honour of her wedding. Garlands
of honeysuckle and wild clematis were twined about the stout oaken
gate–posts. The school–children were gathered in clusters in the
churchyard, with their pinafores full of fresh flowers from shadowy lanes and
from prim cottage–gardens,––bright homely blossoms, with the
morning dew still upon them.</p>
<p>The rector and his curate were standing in the porch waiting for the coming
of the bride; and there were groups of well–dressed people dotted about
here and there in the drowsy–sheltered pews near the altar. There were
humbler spectators clustered under the low ceiling of the
gallery––tradesmen's wives and daughters, radiant with new ribbons,
and whispering to one another in delighted anticipation of the show.</p>
<p>Everybody round about the Grange loved pretty, genial Belinda Lawford, and
there was universal rejoicing because of her happiness.</p>
<p>The wedding party came out of the vestry presently in appointed order: the
bride with her head drooping, and her face hidden by her veil; the bridesmaids'
garments making a fluttering noise as they came up the aisle, like the sound of
a field of corn faintly stirred by summer breezes.</p>
<p>Then the grave voice of the rector began the service with the brief
preliminary exordium; and then, in a tone that grew more solemn with the
increasing solemnity of the words, he went on to that awful charge which is
addressed especially to the bridegroom and the bride:</p>
<p>"I require and charge you both, as ye will answer at the dreadful day of
judgment, when the secrets of all hearts shall be disclosed, that if either of
you know any impediment, why ye may not be lawfully joined together in
matrimony, ye do now confess it. For be ye well
assured––––"</p>
<p>The rector read no further; for a woman's voice from out the dusky shadows
at the further end of the church cried "Stop!"</p>
<p>There was a sudden silence; people stared at each other with scared faces,
and then turned in the direction whence the voice had come. The bride lifted
her head for the first time since leaving the vestry, and looked round about
her, ashy pale and trembling.</p>
<p>"O Edward, Edward!" she cried, "what is it?"</p>
<p>The rector waited, with his hand still upon the open book. He waited,
looking towards the other end of the chancel. He had no need to wait long: a
woman, with a black veil thrown back from a white, haggard face, and with dusty
garments dragging upon the church–floor, came slowly up the aisle.</p>
<p>Her two hands were clasped upon her breast, and her breath came in gasps, as
if she had been running.</p>
<p>"Olivia!" cried Edward Arundel, "what, in Heaven's name––"</p>
<p>But Major Lawford stepped forward, and spoke to the rector.</p>
<p>"Pray let her be got out of the way," he said, in a low voice. "I was warned
of this. I was quite prepared for some such disturbance." He sank his voice to
a whisper. "<em>She is mad!</em>" he said, close in the rector's ear.</p>
<p>The whisper was like whispering in general,––more distinctly
audible than the rest of the speech. Olivia Marchmont heard it.</p>
<p>"Mad until to–day," she cried; "but not mad to–day. O Edward
Arundel! a hideous wrong has been done by me and through me. Your
wife––your wife––"</p>
<p>"My wife! what of her? She––"</p>
<p>"She is alive!" gasped Olivia; "an hour's walk from here. I came on foot. I
was tired, and I have been long coming. I thought that I should be in time to
stop you before you got to the church; but I am very weak. I ran the last part
of the way––"</p>
<p>She dropped her hands upon the altar–rails, and seemed as if she would
have fallen. The rector put his arm about her to support her, and she went
on:</p>
<p>"I thought I should have spared her this," she said, pointing to Belinda;
"but I can't help it. <em>She</em> must bear her misery as well as others. It
can't be worse for her than it has been for others. She must
bear––"</p>
<p>"My wife!" said Edward Arundel; "Mary, my poor sorrowful
darling––alive?"</p>
<p>Belinda turned away, and buried her face upon her mother's shoulder. She
could have borne anything better than this.</p>
<p>His heart––that supreme treasure, for which she had rendered up
thanks to her God––had never been hers after all. A word, a breath,
and she was forgotten; his thoughts went back to that other one. There was
unutterable joy, there was unspeakable tenderness in his tone, as he spoke of
Mary Marchmont, though <em>she</em> stood by his side, in all her foolish
bridal finery, with her heart newly broken.</p>
<p>"O mother," she cried, "take me away! take me away, before I die!"</p>
<p>Olivia flung herself upon her knees by the altar–rails. Where the pure
young bride was to have knelt by her lover's side this wretched sinner cast
herself down, sunk far below all common thoughts in the black depth of her
despair.</p>
<p>"O my sin, my sin!" she cried, with clasped hands lifted up above her head.
"Will God ever forgive my sin? will God ever have pity upon me? Can He pity,
can He forgive, such guilt as mine? Even this work of to–day is no
atonement to be reckoned against my wickedness. I was jealous of this other
woman; I was jealous! Earthly passion was still predominant in this miserable
breast."</p>
<p>She rose suddenly, as if this outburst had never been, and laid her hand
upon Edward Arundel's arm.</p>
<p>"Come!" she said; "come!"</p>
<p>"To her––to Mary––my wife?"</p>
<p>They had taken Belinda away by this time; but Major Lawford stood looking
on. He tried to draw Edward aside; but Olivia's hand upon the young man's arm
held him like a vice.</p>
<p>"She is mad," whispered the Major. "Mr. Marchmont came to me last night, and
warned me of all this. He told me to be prepared for anything; she has all
sorts of delusions. Get her away, if you can, while I go and explain matters to
Belinda. Edward, if you have a spark of manly feeling, get this woman away."</p>
<p>But Olivia held the bridegroom's arm with a tightening grasp.</p>
<p>"Come!" she said; "come! Are you turned to stone, Edward Arundel? Is your
love worth no more than this? I tell you, your wife, Mary Marchmont, is alive.
Let those who doubt me come and see for themselves."</p>
<p>The eager spectators, standing up in the pews or crowding in the narrow
aisle, were only too ready to respond to this invitation.</p>
<p>Olivia led her cousin out into the churchyard; she led him to the gate where
the carriages were waiting. The crowd flocked after them; and the people
outside began to cheer as they came out. That cheer was the signal for which
the school–children had waited; and they set to work scattering flowers
upon the narrow pathway, before they looked up to see who was coming to trample
upon the rosebuds and jessamine, the woodbine and seringa. But they drew back,
scared and wondering, as Olivia came along the pathway, sweeping those tender
blossoms after her with her trailing black garments, and leading the pale
bridegroom by his arm.</p>
<p>She led him to the door of the carriage beside which Major Lawford's
gray–haired groom was waiting, with a big white satin favour pinned upon
his breast, and a bunch of roses in his button hole. There were favours in the
horses' ears, and favours upon the breasts of the Hillingsworth tradespeople
who supplied bread and butcher's meat and grocery to the family at the Grange.
The bell–ringers up in the church–tower saw the crowd flock out of
the porch, and thought the marriage ceremony was over. The jangling bells
pealed out upon the hot summer air as Edward stood by the
churchyard–gate, with Olivia Marchmont by his side.</p>
<p>"Lend me your carriage," he said to Major Lawford, "and come with me. I must
see the end of this. It may be all a delusion; but I must see the end of it. If
there is any truth in instinct, I believe that I shall see my
wife––alive."</p>
<p>He got into the carriage without further ceremony, and Olivia and Major
Lawford followed him.</p>
<p>"Where is my wife?" the young man asked, letting down the front window as he
spoke.</p>
<p>"At Kemberling, at Hester Jobson's."</p>
<p>"Drive to Kemberling," Edward said to the coachman,––"to
Kemberling High Street, as fast as you can go."</p>
<p>The man drove away from the churchyard–gate. The humbler spectators,
who were restrained by no niceties of social etiquette, hurried after the
vehicle, raising white clouds of dust upon the high road with their eager feet.
The higher classes lingered about the churchyard, talking to each other and
wondering.</p>
<p>Very few people stopped to think of Belinda Lawford. "Let the stricken deer
go weep." A stricken deer is a very uninteresting object when there are hounds
in full cry hard by, and another deer to be hunted.</p>
<p>"Since when has my wife been at Kemberling?" Edward Arundel asked Olivia, as
the carriage drove along the high road between the two villages.</p>
<p>"Since daybreak this morning."</p>
<p>"Where was she before then?"</p>
<p>"At Stony–Stringford Farm."</p>
<p>"And before then?"</p>
<p>"In the pavilion over the boat–house at Marchmont."</p>
<p>"My God! And––"</p>
<p>The young man did not finish his sentence. He put his head out of the
window, looking towards Kemberling, and straining his eyes to catch the
earliest sight of the straggling village street.</p>
<p>"Faster!" he cried every now and then to the coachman; "faster!"</p>
<p>In little more than half an hour from the time at which it had left the
churchyard–gate, the carriage stopped before the little carpenter's shop.
Mr. Jobson's doorway was adorned by a painted representation of two very
doleful–looking mutes standing at a door; for Hester's husband combined
the more aristocratic avocation of undertaker with the homely trade of
carpenter and joiner.</p>
<p>Olivia Marchmont got out of the carriage before either of the two men could
alight to assist her. Power was the supreme attribute of this woman's mind. Her
purpose never faltered; from the moment she had left Marchmont Towers until
now, she had known neither rest of body nor wavering of intention.</p>
<p>"Come," she said to Edward Arundel, looking back as she stood upon the
threshold of Mr. Jobson's door; "and you too," she added, turning to Major
Lawford,––"follow us, and <em>see</em> whether I am MAD."</p>
<p>She passed through the shop, and into that prim, smart parlour in which
Edward Arundel had lamented his lost wife.</p>
<p>The latticed windows were wide open, and the warm summer sunshine filled the
room.</p>
<p>A girl, with loose tresses of hazel–brown hair falling about her face,
was sitting on the floor, looking down at a beautiful fair–haired
nursling of a twelvemonth old.</p>
<p>The girl was John Marchmont's daughter; the child was Edward Arundel's son.
It was <em>his</em> childish cry that the young man had heard upon that October
night in the pavilion by the water.</p>
<p>"Mary Arundel," said Olivia, in a hard voice, "I give you back your
husband."</p>
<p>The young mother got up from the ground with a low cry, tottered forward,
and fell into her husband's arms.</p>
<p>"They told me you were dead! They made me believe that you were dead!" she
said, and then fainted on the young man's breast. Edward carried her to a sofa
and laid her down, white and senseless; and then knelt down beside her, crying
over her, and sobbing out inarticulate thanksgiving to the God who had given
his lost wife back to him.</p>
<p>"Poor sweet lamb!" murmured Hester Jobson; "she's as weak as a baby; and
she's gone through so much a'ready this morning."</p>
<p>It was some time before Edward Arundel raised his head from the pillow upon
which his wife's pale face lay, half hidden amid the tangled hair. But when he
did look up, he turned to Major Lawford and stretched out his hand.</p>
<p>"Have pity upon me," he said. "I have been the dupe of a villain. Tell your
poor child how much I esteem her, how much I regret
that––that––we should have loved each other as we have.
The instinct of my heart would have kept me true to the past; but it was
impossible to know your daughter and not love her. The villain who has brought
this sorrow upon us shall pay dearly for his infamy. Go back to your daughter;
tell her everything. Tell her what you have seen here. I know her heart, and I
know that she will open her arms to this poor ill–used child."</p>
<p>The Major went away very downcast. Hester Jobson bustled about bringing
restoratives and pillows, stopping every now and then in an outburst of
affection by the slippery horsehair couch on which Mary lay.</p>
<p>Mrs. Jobson had prepared her best bedroom for her beloved visitor, and
Edward carried his young wife up to the clean, airy chamber. He went back to
the parlour to fetch the child. He carried the fair–haired little one
up–stairs in his own arms; but I regret to say that the infant showed an
inclination to whimper in his newly–found father's embrace. It is only in
the British Drama that newly discovered fathers are greeted with an outburst of
ready–made affection. Edward Arundel went back to the sitting–room
presently, and sat down, waiting till Hester should bring him fresh tidings of
his wife. Olivia Marchmont stood by the window, with her eyes fixed upon
Edward.</p>
<p>"Why don't you speak to me?" she said presently. "Can you find no words that
are vile enough to express your hatred of me? Is that why you are silent?"</p>
<p>"No, Olivia," answered the young man, calmly. "I am silent, because I have
nothing to say to you. Why you have acted as you have acted,––why
you have chosen to be the tool of a black–hearted
villain,––is an unfathomable mystery to me. I thank God that your
conscience was aroused this day, and that you have at least hindered the misery
of an innocent girl. But why you have kept my wife hidden from
me,––why you have been the accomplice of Paul Marchmont's
crime,––is more than I can even attempt to guess."</p>
<p>"Not yet?" said Olivia, looking at him with a strange smile. "Even yet I am
a mystery to you?"</p>
<p>"You are, indeed, Olivia."</p>
<p>She turned away from him with a laugh.</p>
<p>"Then I had better remain so till the end," she said, looking out into the
garden. But after a moment's silence she turned her head once more towards the
young man. "I will speak," she said; "I <em>will</em> speak, Edward Arundel. I
hope and believe that I have not long to live, and that all my shame and
misery, my obstinate wickedness, my guilty passion, will come to an end, like a
long feverish dream. O God, have mercy on my waking, and make it brighter than
this dreadful sleep! I loved you, Edward Arundel. Ah! you start. Thank God at
least for that. I kept my secret well. You don't know what that word 'love'
means, do you? You think you love that childish girl yonder, perhaps; but I can
tell you that you don't know what love is. <em>I</em> know what it is. I have
loved. For ten years,––for ten long, dreary, desolate, miserable
years, fifty–two weeks in every year, fifty–two Sundays, with long
idle hours between the two church services––I have loved you,
Edward. Shall I tell you what it is to love? It is to suffer, to hate, yes, to
hate even the object of your love, when that love is hopeless; to hate him for
the very attributes that have made you love him; to grudge the gifts and graces
that have made him dear. It is to hate every creature on whom his eyes look
with greater tenderness than they look on you; to watch one face until its
familiar lines become a perpetual torment to you, and you cannot sleep because
of its eternal presence staring at you in all your dreams. It is to be like
some wretched drunkard, who loathes the fiery spirit that is destroying him,
body and soul, and yet goes on, madly drinking, till he dies. Love! How many
people upon this great earth know the real meaning of that hideous word! I have
learnt it until my soul loathes the lesson. They will tell you that I am mad,
Edward, and they will tell you something near the truth; but not quite the
truth. My madness has been my love. From long ago, when you were little more
than a boy––you remember, don't you, the long days at the Rectory?
<em>I</em> remember every word you ever spoke to me, every sentiment you ever
expressed, every look of your changing face––you were the first
bright thing that came across my barren life; and I loved you. I married John
Marchmont––why, do you think?––because I wanted to make
a barrier between you and me. I wanted to make my love for you impossible by
making it a sin. So long as my husband lived, I shut your image out of my mind
as I would have shut out the Prince of Darkness, if he had come to me in a
palpable shape. But since then––oh, I hope I have been mad since
then; I hope that God may forgive my sins because I have been mad!"</p>
<p>Her thoughts wandered away to that awful question which had been so lately
revived in her mind––Could she be forgiven? Was it within the
compass of heavenly mercy to forgive such a sin as hers?</p>
<p></p>
<p></p>
<p></p>
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