<SPAN name="startofbook"></SPAN>
<h1>WHY MARRY?</h1>
<h3>BY</h3>
<h2>JESSE LYNCH WILLIAMS</h2>
<hr style="width: 100%;" />
<h3> TO<br/> HARRIET AND JAMES LEES LAIDLAW<br/> </h3>
<hr style="width: 100%;" />
<h2>WHY MARRY?</h2>
<h4>A Comedy in Three Acts</h4>
<div class='tcenter'>
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" summary="">
<colgroup><col width="65%" /><col width="35%" /></colgroup>
<tr><td align='left'>JEAN, the host's younger sister, who has been brought up to be married and nothing else</td><td align='right' valign='bottom'>LOTUS ROBB</td></tr>
<tr><td align='left'>REX, an unmarried neighbor, who has not been brought up to be anything but rich</td><td align='right' valign='bottom'>HAROLD WEST</td></tr>
<tr><td align='left'>LUCY, the hostess, who is trying her best to be "just an old-fashioned wife" in a new-fashioned home,</td><td align='right' valign='bottom'>BEATRICE BECKLEY</td></tr>
<tr><td align='left'>UNCLE EVERETT, a Judge, who belongs to the older generation and yet understands the new—and believes in divorce</td><td align='right' valign='bottom'>NAT C. GOODWIN</td></tr>
<tr><td align='left'>COUSIN THEODORE, a clergyman and yet a human being, who believes in everything—except divorce,</td><td align='right' valign='bottom'>ERNEST LAWFORD</td></tr>
<tr><td align='left'>JOHN, who owns the house and almost every one in it—and does not believe in divorce</td><td align='right' valign='bottom'>EDMUND BREESE</td></tr>
<tr><td align='left'>HELEN, the host's other sister, whom every one wants to marry, but who doesn't want to marry any one,</td><td align='right' valign='bottom'>ESTELLE WINWOOD</td></tr>
<tr><td align='left'>ERNEST, a scientist, who believes in neither divorce nor marriage but makes a great discovery</td><td align='right' valign='bottom'>SHELLEY HULL<br/><small>(By arrangement with George C. Tyler)</small></td></tr>
<tr><td align='left'>THE BUTLER</td><td align='right' valign='bottom'>RICHARD PITMAN</td></tr>
<tr><td align='left'>THE FOOTMAN</td><td align='right' valign='bottom'>WALTER GOODSON</td></tr>
</table></div>
<hr style="width: 65%;" />
<h2>ADVANCE NOTICE<br/> <small>BY THE AUTHOR</small></h2>
<p>One afternoon shortly before the New York
"opening" of this comedy a most estimable lady
sat down to make me a cup of tea.</p>
<p>"Now, do tell me, what is your play about?"
she inquired with commendable enthusiasm. For,
being a true woman, she had early achieved the
becoming habit of letting members of the superior
sex talk about themselves.</p>
<p>"'Why Marry?'" said I, "tells the truth
about marriage."</p>
<p>"Oh, why," she expostulated, "why write unpleasant
plays?"</p>
<p>"But it is not 'unpleasant.'"</p>
<p>"Then it isn't true!" she exclaimed. "That is,
I mean—I mean—did you say cream or lemon?"</p>
<p>And in the pause which accompanied the
pouring of the cream I detected the look of one
realizing too late that it is always better to think
before speaking.</p>
<p>This little incident, it seemed to me, epitomizes
charmingly the attitude of "our nicest
people" toward our fundamental institution.
The truth about marriage must be unpleasant.
Therefore, tell us something we know isn't true.
It will be so much nicer for our young people.</p>
<p>It is to be feared, however, that young people
who go to see "Why Marry?" in the hope of being
shocked do not get their money's worth. I
have heard of but two persons who have been
scandalized by this play, and they were both old
people. One was a woman in the country who
had not seen it, but had read the title, and so
wrote several indignant letters about it. The
other was an elderly bachelor of the type which
finds useful occupation in decorating club windows
like geraniums. He took his niece to see it,
and, deciding at the end of Act II that the play
was going to be unpleasant in Act III, took her
home at once. The next afternoon she appeared
at the matinée with a whole bevy of her own
generation and saw the rest of the play. I asked
her later if it had shocked any of them.</p>
<p>"Oh, no," she replied, "we are too young to be
shocked."</p>
<p>That little incident also struck me as socially
significant. There never were two generations
inhabiting the same globe simultaneously with
such widely separated points of view.</p>
<hr style='width: 45%;' />
<p>For several years after this play was first published
no theatrical manager on Broadway would
produce it. I don't blame them, I want to
thank them for it. I doubt if this sort of thing
could have appealed to many theatre-goers then,
especially as my young lovers are trying to
be good, not bad. "Self-expression" and "the
right to happiness" do not enter into their plans.
The causes of their courageous and, of course,
mistaken decision are unselfish and social motives,
however futile and antisocial the results
would have been had not their desperate determination
been thwarted.... When this
play was first published most people were not
thinking along these lines. Such ideas were considered
radical then. They will soon be old-fashioned—even
on the stage.</p>
<p>Kind and discriminating as the critics have
been in regard to this comedy (a discriminating
critic being, of course, one who praises your
play), few of them have seen the point which
I thought I was making emphatically clear,
namely, that we can't cure social defects by individual
treatment. Not only the lovers, but all
the characters in this play are trying to do right
according to their lights. There is no villain in
this piece. At least the villain remains "off
stage." Perhaps that is why so few see him. You
are the villain, you and I and the rest of society.
We are responsible for the rules and regulations
of the marriage game. Instead of having fun
with human nature, I tried to go higher up and
have fun with human institutions.</p>
<p>I say "tried," because apparently I did not
succeed. The joke is on me. Still, I can get some
amusement out of it: for a great many people
seem to like this play who would be indignant if
they knew what they were really applauding.
They think they are merely enjoying "satire
on human nature." Now, it is a curious fact
that you can always curse human nature with
impunity; can malign it, revile it, boot it up and
down the decalogue, and you will be warmly
praised. "How true to life!" you are told. "I
know some one just like that." (It is always
some one else, of course.) But dare lay hands on
the Existing Order—and you'll find you've laid
your hands on a hornet's nest.</p>
<p>You see, most people do not want anything
changed—except possibly the Law of Change.
They do not object to finding fault with mankind
because "you can't change human nature," as
they are fond of telling you with an interesting
air of originality. But laws, customs, and ideals
can be changed, can be improved. Therefore
they cry: "Hands off! How dare you!" Man
made human institutions, therefore we reverence
them. Whereas human nature was merely made
by God. So we don't think so much of it. We are
prejudiced, like all creators, in favor of our own
creations. After all, there is excellent precedent
for such complacency. Even God, we are informed,
pronounced his work "all very good"
and rested on the seventh day.</p>
<hr style='width: 45%;' />
<p>Pretty nearly everything in the play as acted
is in the book as published; but by no means all
that is in the book could possibly be enacted on
the stage in two hours and a half. One scene,
a breakfast scene between John and his wife,
has been amplified for acting, but all the other
scenes as printed here have been shortened for
stage purposes and one or two cut out entirely.</p>
<p>The "set" was changed to represent the loggia,
instead of the terrace, of John's "little
farm." Outdoor scenes are not supposed to be
good for comedy. Walls, or a suggestion of them,
produce a better psychological effect for the
purpose, besides making it possible to speak in
quieter, more intimate tones than when the
voice spills out into the wings and up into the
paint loft.</p>
<p>Near the end of the play a number of relatives,
rich and poor, are supposed to arrive for dinner
and for influencing by their presence the recalcitrant
couple. That is the way it is printed
and that is how it was acted during the first
few weeks of the Chicago run. But though the
family may have its place in the book, it proved
to be an awful nuisance on the stage. No matter
how well these minor parts might be acted (or
dressed), their sudden irruption during the last
and most important moments of the performance
distracted the audience's attention from
the principal characters and the main issue.
It was not clear who was who. Programmes
fluttered; perplexity was observed.... So we
decided that the family must be destroyed. It is
always a perplexing problem to devise a substitute
for the family.</p>
<p style='text-align: right'>
<span class="smcap">Jesse Lynch Williams.</span><br/></p>
<hr style="width: 65%;" />
<h1><span class="smcap">Act I</span></h1>
<hr style="width: 65%;" />
<p><span class="pagenum">[Pg 3]</span></p>
<h1>"And So They Were Married"</h1>
<div class="bbt">
<h2><span class="smcap">Act I</span></h2></div>
<div class="pblockquot"><p><i>Up from the fragrant garden comes a girl, running.
She takes the broad terrace steps two
at a stride, laughing, breathless, fleet as a
fawn, sweet as a rose. She is hotly pursued by
a boy, handsome, ardent, attractively selfish,
and just now blindly determined to catch the
pretty creature before she gains the protecting
shelter of home. She is determined to let him
but not to let him know it.... There, she
might have darted in through the open door,
but it is such a cold, formal entrance; she
pretends to be exhausted, dodges behind a stone
tea-table, and, turning, faces him, each panting
and laughing excitedly; she alluring and
defiant, he merry and dominant.</i></p>
<p><i>She is twenty-five and he is a year or two older,
but they are both children; in other words,
unmarried.</i></p>
</div>
<p><span class="pagenum">[Pg 4]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p>Think I'll let you say that to me?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>making a face at him</i>]</p>
<p>Think I'm afraid of you!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p>Take it back, I tell you.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>I won't.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p>I'll make you.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>with a dance step</i>]</p>
<p>Think so, do you?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p>I warn you.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>Booh-woo!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>He makes a feint to the right, then dashes to
the left and catches her.</i></p>
<p><span class="pagenum">[Pg 5]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>triumphantly</i>]</p>
<p>Now!... You would, would you?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>struggling</i>]</p>
<p>Let me go.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p>I couldn't think of it.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>seizes his hands to free herself—can't</i>]</p>
<p>You're so strong—it isn't fair.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p>You're so sweet—it isn't fair.</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Smiling down at her struggles, rejoicing in
his strength, her weakness, he gently draws
her near.</i></p>
</div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>knows what is coming</i>]</p>
<p>No, Rex.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p>Yes.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 6]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>You mustn't.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p>But I will.</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He laughs and kisses her lightly on the cheek.
Therefore she struggles furiously. Therefore
he does it again. And again. Suddenly
he enfolds her completely and kisses her
passionately—cheeks, mouth, eyes—until
she gasps in alarm. Laughter has gone from
them now.</i></p>
</div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>Oh, please!... some one will come.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>with the intoxication of such moments</i>]</p>
<p>I don't care who comes—I love you.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>No ... let me go.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p>Not till you kiss me, Jean. [<i><span class="smcap">Jean</span> hesitates,
brushes his cheek lightly with her lips, and in
pretty confusion tries to escape.</i>] Not till you<span class="pagenum">[Pg 7]</span>
say you love me, Jean. [<i>Eyes hidden in his
coat, she bobs her head. He laughs and loves it.</i>]
Say it!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>I—er—do.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p>Do <i>what</i>?... <i>Say</i> it!...</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>She cannot. He swings her about, bringing
her face close to his.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>I love you, Rex. Are you sure you love
me?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p>Am I sure! You irresistible little—</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Begins to kiss her. Masculine triumph.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>And want to marry me, Rex?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>stops—startled—had not thought of that</i>]</p>
<p>Why—er—of course. What did you suppose!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Drops his eyes, sobered.</i></p>
<p><span class="pagenum">[Pg 8]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>feminine triumph</i>]</p>
<p>And me "a penniless orphing"?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>fascinated by the way she says it, he laughs.
Then, his honor touched</i>]</p>
<p>Why, what kind of a man do you take me for!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>And wants her lips again.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>giving herself to him, head sinks upon his
shoulder</i>]</p>
<p>Then, oh, Rex, love me and be nice to me
and—and take me away from all this!</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>She covers her face with her hands and sobs.
He pats her tenderly, with a manly look on
his face.</i></p>
<p><i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span> comes up from the garden. She is
dressed in white with a garden hat, a garden
basket filled with flowers in one hand, long
scissors in the other. She is <span class="smcap">John's</span> wife,
the mistress of the house, sister-in-law to
<span class="smcap">Jean</span>; conspicuously a "sweet" woman,
affectedly so, a contrast with <span class="smcap">Jean's</span> more
modern, less delicate charm. <span class="smcap">Jean</span> is frank<span class="pagenum">[Pg 9]</span>
and brave, <span class="smcap">Lucy</span> indirect and timid, pretty
but fading, forty but fighting it.</i></p>
</div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>laughing</i>]</p>
<p>It's all right, Lucy—we're engaged!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Well, I should hope so!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Shoots a look at <span class="smcap">Jean</span>, "So?"</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>recovering himself</i>]</p>
<p>I have often tried to thank you and good old
John for letting me come over here so much,
but now! How can I <i>ever</i> thank you? See-what-I-mean?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>I'll tell you how. Behave yourself after you
are married to John's little sister.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>Rex, have you had a fearful past? How fascinating!<span class="pagenum">[Pg 10]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p>I'm going to have a glorious future, all right.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>Not unless you do as I tell you. Going to obey
me, Rex?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p>You bet I am.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>Then begin now. Go!... Get out! [<i>She
pushes <span class="smcap">Rex</span>, laughing and protesting, toward the
garden.</i>] I want to tell Lucy how nice you are.
Run along over to the golf club, and by and
by—if you <i>are</i> a good boy—you can take me
out in your new car. [<i><span class="smcap">Rex</span> kisses the hand on
his arm and leaves, laughing.</i>] My dear, he has
five cars! Thank you so much.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Alone, they throw off the mask worn before
men.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Now, deary, tell me all about it. How did it
happen?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>Oh, I simply followed your advice.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 11]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Picked a quarrel with him?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>laughing</i>]</p>
<p>Yes. I pretended to believe in woman suffrage!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Good! They hate that.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>I told him all men were bullying brutes!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>They are! And then you ran away?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>Of course.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>And he after you?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>Of course.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>And you let him catch you?<span class="pagenum">[Pg 12]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>Of cour—well ... he caught me.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>They both laugh.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>I can guess the rest.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>Why, it didn't take five minutes.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>And now it's to last through all eternity....
Isn't love wonderful?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>Um-hum. Wonderful.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>They begin to cull out the flowers.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>But you do love him, dear, don't you?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>arranging flowers</i>]</p>
<p>I did then. I don't now. Why is that, Lucy?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Oh, but you will learn to love him. [<i>Jean
shrugs, drops flowers, and turns away.</i>] Now,<span class="pagenum">[Pg 13]</span>
now! no worrying—it brings wrinkles! [<i>Patting
Jean's shoulder.</i>] Rex is just the sort to give
the woman he adores everything in the world.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>wriggling out of <span class="smcap">Lucy's</span> embrace</i>]</p>
<p>I am not the woman he adores.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Why, Jean! He's engaged to you.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>But he's in love with my sister. You know
that as well as I do.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>uncomfortably</i>]</p>
<p>Oh, well, he was once, but not now. Men
admire these independent women, but they
don't marry them. Nobody wants to marry a
sexless freak with a scientific degree.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>Oh, what's the use, Lucy? He's still wild
about Helen, and she still laughs at him. So
you and John have trotted out the little sister.
Why not be honest about it.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 14]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Well, I may be old-fashioned, but I don't
think it's nice to talk this way when you're just
engaged.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>Here comes your "sexless freak"—not with
a degree, either.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>following <span class="smcap">Jean's</span> gaze</i>]</p>
<p>With a man!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>smiling</i>]</p>
<p>With <i>my</i> man.</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i><span class="smcap">Helen</span>, with <span class="smcap">Rex</span> bending toward her
eagerly, appears. She is a beautiful woman
of twenty-nine, tall, strong, glorious—plenty
of old-fashioned charm, despite her
new-fashioned ideas. She is dressed in a
tennis costume and is swinging a racquet.</i></p>
</div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p>But they told me you were going to stay
abroad all winter.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 15]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>My work, Rex—I had to get back to work.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p>Work!... You are too good to work.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>amused, not jealous</i>]</p>
<p>Is this your high-powered car, Rex? Have
you learned to run it yet?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>startled</i>]</p>
<p>But ... well ... you see, I met Helen
on the way. See-what-I-mean?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>laughing</i>]</p>
<p>Oh, we see.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p>But I hadn't seen her for so long. I thought—
[<i>Looks from <span class="smcap">Helen</span> to <span class="smcap">Jean</span></i>] ... wait, I'll get
the car.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>He hurries off.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>to <span class="smcap">Jean</span></i>]</p>
<p>Why couldn't she have stayed abroad!<span class="pagenum">[Pg 16]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>Helen, don't talk about your work before
Lucy—it shocks her.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Oh, very well; make it my 'career'!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>arm around <span class="smcap">Helen</span></i>]</p>
<p>Sssh!—that's worse.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Helen, dear, I deem it my duty to tell you
that you are being talked about.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Lucy, dear, do you always find your true
happiness in duty?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Well, if you think you are going back to that
horrid place again ... after what happened
that night? John won't hear of it.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>If the Baker Institute of Medical Experiment
is not a respectable place you should make John
resign as trustee.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>She laughs it off.</i></p>
<p><span class="pagenum">[Pg 17]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>John is trustee of—oh, nearly everything.
That makes it all the worse. It isn't as if you
had to work.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Oh, but John is so rich now, his credit can
stand it. And you oughtn't to mind! Why,
some of our most fashionable families now contain
freaks like me. It's becoming quite smart,
just as in former days one of the sons would go
into the Church or the navy.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Well, of course, I am old-fashioned, but going
down-town every day with the men,—it seems
so unwomanly.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>But wasn't I womanly for years? Instead of
going down-town and working with highbrows,
I stayed up-town and played with lowbrows—until
I was bored to death.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>sighs</i>]</p>
<p>Yes, that's what comes of going to college,
leaving the home, getting these new ideas. All<span class="pagenum">[Pg 18]</span>
the same, Helen, the men, really nice men, don't
like it.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Well, you see, I don't like really nice men,
so that makes it agreeable all around.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>If it were only art or music or something
feminine, but that awful laboratory! How can
a lady poison poor, innocent little monkeys?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>If I were a lady I'd <i>dine</i> with monkeys....
Do you know what the word means, Lucy? In
Anglo-Saxon times "lady" meant "one who
gives loaves"; now, one who <i>takes</i> a loaf.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Very clever, my dear, but some day you'll be
sorry. No man, Helen, likes a woman to have
independent views.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>Helen can afford to have independent views;
she has an independent income—she earns it.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 19]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Independent income! Her salary wouldn't
pay for your hats.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>All the same, I wish I had gone to college; I
wish I had learned a profession.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>What have these New Women accomplished?
Just one thing: they are destroying chivalry!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Not entirely, Lucy, not entirely. For instance,
I am the best assistant Ernest Hamilton has,
but the worst paid; the others are all men.
Hurray for chivalry!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Well, I'm just an old-fashioned wife. Woman's
sphere is the home. My husband says so.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>But suppose you haven't any husband! What
can a spinster do in the home?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p><i>Stay</i> in it—till she gets one! That's what the
old-fashioned spinster used to do.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 20]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>The old-fashioned spinster used to spin.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>At any rate, the old-fashioned spinster did
not stay out of her home all night and get
herself compromised, talked about, sent abroad!
Or, if she did, she knew enough to remain abroad
until the gossip blew over.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Lucy turns to leave.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>mischievously</i>]</p>
<p>Ah, that wonderful night! [<i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span> turns back,
amazed.</i>] The night we discovered the Hamilton
antitoxin, the night that made the Baker Institute
famous! And, just think, I had a hand in it,
Lucy, a hand in the unwomanly work of saving
children's lives! But, of course, an old-fashioned
spinster would have blushed and said: "Excuse
me, Doctor Hamilton, but we must now let a
year's work go to waste because you are a man
and I am a woman, and it's dark outdoors!"
... That's the way to preserve true chivalry.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>You think we can't see through all this?
Science—fiddlesticks! The good-looking young<span class="pagenum">[Pg 21]</span>
scientist—that's why you couldn't stay abroad.
We see it, John sees it, and now every one
will see it. Then how will you feel?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Ernest <i>is</i> rather good-looking, isn't he?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Do you think your brother will let you marry
a mere scientist!... Oh, well, Doctor Hamilton
is in love with his work—fortunately....
Besides, he's a thoroughbred; he wouldn't even
look at a girl who throws herself at his head.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>So I needn't try any longer? Too bad.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>losing her temper and going</i>]</p>
<p>Oh, you New Women are quite superior,
aren't you?... Thank heavens, little Jean
didn't elbow <i>her</i> way into men's affairs; she had
no unwomanly ambitions for a career! But she
is engaged to Rex Baker!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Jean, is this true?<span class="pagenum">[Pg 22]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>triumphantly</i>]</p>
<p><i>Marriage</i> is woman's only true career.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Jean! You can't, you won't, you mustn't
marry Rex!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>flouncing out</i>]</p>
<p>"She who will not when she may," my dear!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>avoiding <span class="smcap">Helen's</span> eyes</i>]</p>
<p>Lucy hears John coming—he'd take her
head off if she weren't there to meet him.
[<i><span class="smcap">Helen</span> only looks at her.</i>] He bullies and browbeats
her worse than ever. I can't stand it
here much longer. It's getting on my nerves.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Jean! You care for Rex no more than I do.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>still evasive</i>]</p>
<p>John's bringing out Uncle Everett and Cousin
Theodore. My dear, the whole family is up in
the air about you.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 23]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Oh, I can take care of myself, but you!...
Jean, you're not the sort to marry Rex or any
other man, unless you simply can't live without
him.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>after a little pause</i>]</p>
<p>Well ... how can I live without him—without
some man? You can support yourself.
I can't.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>But you wouldn't live on a man you didn't
really love!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>Why not? Lucy does; most wives live on men
they don't really love. To stop doing so and get
divorced is wrong, you know.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Jean, Jean, poor little Jean!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>Well, I'd rather have domestic unhappiness
of my own than watch other people's all my life.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 24]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>I don't like to hurt you, dear, but—[<i>Takes
<span class="smcap">Jean's</span> face and raises it.</i>] How about that nice
boy at the Harvard Law School?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>Don't! [<i>Controls herself, then, in a low voice</i>]
Bob is <i>still</i> at the Law School, Helen.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Can't you wait, dear?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>He never asked me to, Helen.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>He would, if you let him.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>It wouldn't be fair. It takes so long to get
started. Everything costs so much. Why, nowadays,
men in the professions, unless they have
private means, can't marry until nearly <i>forty</i>.
When Bob is forty I'll be forty, Helen.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Ah, but when a girl really cares!<span class="pagenum">[Pg 25]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>Helen, do <i>you</i> know?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Never mind about me—you!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>Oh, we'll get over it, I suppose.... People
do! Some day, perhaps, he'll smile and say:
"Just think, I once loved <i>that</i> fat old thing!"
[<i>Suddenly changes to sobbing.</i>] Helen! when Rex
caught me and kissed me I shut my eyes and
tried to think it was Bob.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>takes <span class="smcap">Jean</span> in her arms</i>]</p>
<p>You can't keep on thinking so, dear.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>But that isn't the worst! When he held me
fast and I couldn't get away, I began ... to
forget Bob ... to forget everything ...
[<i>Breaks off, overcome with shame.</i>] But not now,
not now! It's not the same thing at all. [<i>Buries
face in <span class="smcap">Helen's</span> breast and sobs it out.</i>] Oh, I
feel like the devil, dear.... And all this time<span class="pagenum">[Pg 26]</span>
he doesn't really want me—he wants you, you!
I trapped him into it; I trapped him!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>And I know Rex—he's a good sport; he'll
stick to it, if you do, dear—only you won't!
You've caught him by playing on his worst—don't
hold him by playing on his best!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>But what shall I do? I'm nearly twenty-six.
I've got to escape from home in some way.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>But what a way!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Rex</span> returns.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p>Ready, Jean? [<i>To <span class="smcap">Helen</span>.</i>] Lucy and John
and your Cousin Theodore are in there having a
fine, old-fashioned family fight with the judge.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>With Uncle Everett? What about?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p>They shut up when they saw me. All I heard<span class="pagenum">[Pg 27]</span>
was the parson—"Marriage is a social institution."
Grand old row, though. [<i>A <span class="smcap">Butler</span>
and <span class="smcap">Footman</span> appear, wheeling a tea-wagon.</i>]
Looks as if they were coming out here.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Then I am going in. [<i>Detaining <span class="smcap">Jean</span>.</i>] You
will follow my advice?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>apart to <span class="smcap">Helen</span></i>]</p>
<p>Oh, I don't know. Soon or late I must follow
the only profession I have learned.</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i><span class="smcap">Jean</span> leaves with <span class="smcap">Rex</span>. <span class="smcap">Helen</span> watches them,
sighs, and goes in. The <span class="smcap">Servants</span> arrange
the tea-table and go into the house.</i></p>
<p><i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span> comes out, followed by her husband,
<span class="smcap">John</span>, and the <span class="smcap">Judge</span>, who is <span class="smcap">Uncle Everett</span>,
and <span class="smcap">Cousin Theodore</span>.</i></p>
<p><i><span class="smcap">John</span>, the masterful type of successful American
business man; well set up, close-cropped
mustache, inclined to baldness;
keen eye, vibrant voice, quick movements,
quick decisions, quick temper.</i></p>
<p><i><span class="smcap">Uncle Everett</span> is a genial satirist with a<span class="pagenum">[Pg 28]</span>
cynical tolerance of the ways of the world,
which he understands, laughs at, and
rather likes.</i></p>
<p><i><span class="smcap">Cousin Theodore</span>, a care-worn rector, who,
though he buttons his collar behind, likes
those who don't; a noble soul, self-sacrificing
and sanctified, but he does not obtrude
his profession upon others—never
talks shop unless asked to do so, and prides
himself upon not being a bigot.</i></p>
<p><i>They are continuing an earnest discussion,
with the intimate manner of friendly members
of the same family. <span class="smcap">John</span>, <span class="smcap">Lucy</span>, and
<span class="smcap">Theodore</span> deeply concerned; <span class="smcap">Uncle Everett</span>
detached and amused.</i></p>
</div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>But, Uncle Everett, hasn't Aunt Julia always
been a good wife to you?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Quite so, quite so, a good wife, Theodore, a
good wife.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>And a <i>devoted</i> mother to your children, Uncle
Everett?<span class="pagenum">[Pg 29]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Devoted, Lucy, devoted.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>She has always obeyed you, Uncle Everett.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Yes, John—a true, old-fashioned woman.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>She has been a great help to me in the parish
work, Uncle Everett.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>An earnest worker in the vineyard, Theodore—in
fact, I might say, a model female.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">All</span></p>
<p>Then why, <i>why</i> do you want a divorce?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Because, damn it, I don't like her!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>But think of poor Aunt Julia!<span class="pagenum">[Pg 30]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>But, damn it, she doesn't like <i>me</i>.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>wagging head sadly</i>]</p>
<p>Ah, yes, I suppose there has been fault on
both sides.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Not at all! No fault on either side.... Both
patterns of Christian fortitude to the end! We
still are. Just listen to this telegram.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>puzzled</i>]</p>
<p>From Aunt Julia?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Yes from Aunt Julia in Reno. Not used
to travelling without me; knew I'd worry.
Thoughtful of her, wasn't it? [<i>Puts on glasses.</i>]
A night letter. Much cheaper; your Aunt Julia
was always a frugal wife. Besides, she never
could keep within ten words. [<i>Reads.</i>] "Arrived
safely. Charming rooms with plenty of air and
sunlight. Our case docketed for March 15th.
Wish you were here to see the women in<span class="pagenum">[Pg 31]</span>
Divorcee Row—overdressed and underbred."
Rather neat, eh? "Overdressed and underbred."
"I should love to hear <i>your</i> comments on the
various types." Now, isn't that sweet of her?
Well, you know, I always <i>could</i> make her laugh—except
when I made her cry. "Write soon.
With love. Julia." Now [<i>folds telegram</i>], isn't
that a nice message? From a wife suing for
divorce? You happily married people couldn't
beat that.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Pats telegram and pockets it tenderly.</i></p>
<div class="figcenter"> <ANTIMG src="images/i001.jpg" width-obs="640" height-obs="386" alt="" title="" /> <p><i>From a photograph by White Studio.</i></p> <p> <span class="smcap">All:</span> Then why, <i>why</i> do you want a divorce?<br/> <span class="smcap">Judge:</span> Because, damn it, I don't like her.</p> </div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>like a practical business man</i>]</p>
<p>But if there's no other woman, no other man—what's
it all about?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>She likes her beefsteak well done; I like mine
underdone. She likes one window open—about
so much [<i>indicates four inches</i>]; I like all the windows
open wide! She likes to stay at home; I
like to travel. She loves the opera and hates the
theatre; I love the theatre and hate the opera.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Stop! aren't you willing to make a few little
sacrifices for each other? Haven't you character
enough for that?<span class="pagenum">[Pg 32]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>We've been making sacrifices for twenty-five
years, a quarter of a century! Character enough
to last us now.... Why, I remember the first
dinner we had together after we were pronounced
man and wife, with a full choral service
and a great many expensive flowers—quite
a smart wedding, Lucy, for those simple
days. "Darling," I asked my blushing bride,
"do you like tutti-frutti ice-cream?" "I adore
it, dearest," she murmured. I hated it, but
nobly sacrificed myself and gave her tutti-frutti
and gained character every evening of
our honeymoon! Then when we got back and
began our "new life" together in our "little
home," my darling gave <i>me</i> tutti-frutti and indigestion
<i>once a week</i> until I nearly died!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>But why didn't you tell her?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>I did; I did. Got chronic dyspepsia and
struck! "<i>You</i> may adore this stuff, <i>darling</i>," I
said, "but I hate it." "So do I, dearest," says
she. "Then why in thunder have you had it all<span class="pagenum">[Pg 33]</span>
these years, <i>sweetheart</i>?" "For your sake, <i>beloved</i>!"
And that tells the whole story of our
married life. We have nothing in common but
a love of divorce and a mutual abhorrence
of tutti-frutti. "Two souls with but a single
thought, two hearts that beat as one!" It has
been the dream of our lives to get apart, and
each has nobly refrained for the other's sake.
And all in vain!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Bah! All a cloak to hide his real motive. And
he knows it!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>after a painful pause</i>]</p>
<p>I may as well confess. [<i>Looks around to see if
overheard. Whispers.</i>] For over twenty years
I—I have broken my marriage vow! [<i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span>
drops her eyes. <span class="smcap">Theodore</span> aghast. <span class="smcap">John</span> wags
head.</i>] So has your Aunt Julia!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>No! not that!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Well, we solemnly promised to love each
other until death did us part. We have broken<span class="pagenum">[Pg 34]</span>
that sacred vow! I don't love <i>her</i>; she doesn't
love <i>me</i>—not in the least!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Rot! A matured, middle-aged man, a distinguished
member of the bar—break up his
home for that? Damned rot!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Right again, John. That's not why I'm breaking
up my home. I prefer my club. What
does the modern home amount to? Merely a
place to leave your wife.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Of course, it doesn't matter about the poor
little wife left at home.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Wrong, Lucy, it does matter. That's why I
<i>stayed</i> at home and was bored to death with her
prattle about clothes and the opera, instead of
dining at the club with my intellectual equals,
picking up business there, getting rich like
John, supplying her with <i>more</i> clothes and a
whole <i>box</i> at the opera, like yours, Lucy.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 35]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>shoots a glance at her husband</i>]</p>
<p>Oh, that's the way you men <i>always</i> talk. It
never occurs to you that business, business,
<i>business</i> is <i>just</i> as much of a bore to us!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Wrong again! It did occur to <i>me</i>—hence
the divorce! She couldn't stand seeing <i>me</i>
bored; I couldn't stand seeing <i>her</i> bored. Once
we could deceive each other; but now—too
well acquainted; our happy home—a hollow
mockery!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>You ought to be ashamed! I love my home!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>So do I.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>He glances sternly at <span class="smcap">Lucy</span>.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>nervously</i>]</p>
<p>So do I.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>All right. Stick to it, if you love it. Only,
don't claim credit for doing what you enjoy.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 36]</span>
I stuck to my home for a quarter of a century
and disliked it the whole time. At last I'm
free to say so. Just think of it, Lucy, free to
utter those things about marriage we all know
are true but don't dare say! Free to be honest,
John! No longer a hypocrite, no longer a liar!
A soul set free, Theodore—two souls, in fact.
"Two souls with but a single thought——"</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Stop! You have <i>children</i> to consider, not
merely your own selfish happiness!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Yes, think of Tom and little Julia!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>We did ... for a quarter of a century—sacrificed
everything to them, even our self-respect;
but now—what's the use? We are childless
now. Tom and Julia have both left us for
"little homes" of their own to love.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Ah, but don't you want them to have the old
home to come back to?<span class="pagenum">[Pg 37]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>"No place like home" for children, eh?
You're right—can't have too much of it. Most
children only have <i>one</i> home. Ours will have
<i>two</i>! When they get bored with one they can
try the other.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>But, seriously, Uncle Everett—"Whom God
hath joined together!"</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>clasping <span class="smcap">John's</span> arm</i>]</p>
<p>Yes, Uncle Everett, marriages are made in
heaven.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>I see; quite so; but your Aunt Julia and I
were joined together by a pink parasol made in
Paris.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>What rot! Stop your fooling and speak the
truth, man.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Just what I'm doing—that's why you think
I'm fooling. A very pretty parasol—but it
wasn't made in heaven. You see, God made poor,<span class="pagenum">[Pg 38]</span>
dear Julia pale, but on that fatal day, twenty-five
years ago, the pink parasol, not God, made
her rosy and irresistible. I did the rest—with
the aid of a clergyman, whom I tipped even
more liberally than the waiter who served us
tutti-frutti. Blame <i>me</i> for it, blame her, the
parasol, the parson, but do not, my dear Theodore,
blame the Deity for our own mistakes.
It's so blasphemous.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>A pause. <span class="smcap">Lucy</span> takes place at the tea-table
to serve tea.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>And to think we invited <i>you</i>, of all people,
here to-day of all days! [<i>To <span class="smcap">John</span>.</i>] We mustn't
let Rex know. The Bakers don't believe in
divorce.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>What's this? You don't mean that Jean——?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Yes! Just in time—before he knew Helen
was back.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>jumps up</i>]</p>
<p>She's landed him! She's landed him! We're
marrying into the Baker family! The Baker<span class="pagenum">[Pg 39]</span>
family! [<i>Shaking hands right and left.</i>] Why,
she'll have more money than any of us!...
Well, well! We'll all have to stand around before
little Jean now!... My, my! Lucy, you're a
wonder! Those pearls—I'll buy them; they're
yours! Hurray for Lucy!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Kisses</i> <span class="smcap">Lucy</span>.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>feeling her importance</i>]</p>
<p>Now, if I could only get <i>Helen</i> out of this
awful mess and safely married to some nice
man!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>sipping his tea</i>]</p>
<p>Meaning one having money?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>The Hamiltons are an older family than the
Bakers, Lucy, older than our own.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Meaning they <i>once</i> had money.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>still pacing to and fro</i>]</p>
<p>Waste a beauty on a bacteriologist? A
crime!<span class="pagenum">[Pg 40]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>See here, John, Ernest Hamilton is the biggest
thing you've got in the Baker Institute! One
of the loveliest fellows in the world, too, and
if you expect me—why did you ask us here,
anyway?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Far as I can make out, we're here to help one
of John's sisters marry a man she doesn't love
and prevent the other from marrying the man
she does.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Oh, look here: I've nothing against young
Hamilton.... I <i>like</i> him—proud of all he's
done for the institute. Why, Mr. Baker is
tickled to death about the Hamilton antitoxin.
But, Theodore, this is a practical world. Your
scientific friend gets just two thousand dollars
a year!... Lucy, send for Helen.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span> goes obediently.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Well, why not give the young man a raise?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Oh, that's not a bad salary for scientists,
college professors, and that sort of thing. Why,<span class="pagenum">[Pg 41]</span>
even the head of the institute himself gets less
than the superintendent of my mills. No future
in science.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Perfectly practical, Theodore. The superintendent
of John's mills saves the company thousands
of dollars. These bacteriologists merely
save the nation thousands of babies. All our
laws, written and unwritten, value private
property above human life. I'm a distinguished
jurist and I always render my decisions accordingly.
I'd be reversed by the United States
Supreme Court if I didn't. We're all rewarded
in inverse ratio to our usefulness to society,
Theodore. That's why "practical men" think
changes are "dangerous."</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Muck-raker!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>It's all on a sliding scale, John. For keeping
up the cost of living you and old man Baker
get ... [<i>Stretches arms out full length.</i>] Heaven
only knows how much. For saving the Constitution
I get ... a good deal. [<i>Hands three<span class="pagenum">[Pg 42]</span>
feet apart.</i>] For saving in wages and operating
expenses your superintendent gets so much.
[<i>Hands two feet apart.</i>] For saving human life
Ernest Hamilton gets that. [<i>Hands six inches
apart.</i>] For saving immortal souls Theodore
gets—[<i>Holds up two forefingers an inch apart.</i>]
Now, if any one came along and saved the
world——</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>interrupts</i>]</p>
<p>They crucified Him.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Muck-raker, muck-raker.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>returning</i>]</p>
<p>Tried my best, John, but Helen says she
prefers to talk with you alone some time.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>furious</i>]</p>
<p>She "prefers"? See here! Am I master in my
own house or not?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>But Helen is a guest in it now. No longer<span class="pagenum">[Pg 43]</span>
under your control, John. She's the New
Woman.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>John, <i>you</i> can't stop that girl's marrying
Ernest, if she wants to; he's head over heels in
love with her.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>What! We thought he was in love with his
work!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>He thinks there's no hope for him, poor boy.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>to <span class="smcap">John</span></i>]</p>
<p>And she is mad about him!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>to <span class="smcap">Lucy</span></i>]</p>
<p>And he is on the way out here now!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>What! He's coming to see her?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>No, no, thinks she's still in Paris—so she
was when I invited him, damn it—but some<span class="pagenum">[Pg 44]</span>thing
had to be done and done delicately.
That's why I invited you two.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>bursts out laughing</i>]</p>
<p>Beautiful! These lovers haven't met for a
month, and to-night there's a moon!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>also laughs</i>]</p>
<p>You may as well give in, John. It's the simplest
solution.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>timidly</i>]</p>
<p>Yes, John, she's nearly thirty, and think how
she treats all the <i>nice</i> men.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Who's doing this? You go tell Helen ...
that her Uncle Everett wants to see her!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Lucy shrugs, starts reluctantly, and lingers
listening.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Now, uncle, you have more influence over
her than any of us—don't let her know about
... Aunt Julia. Helen thinks the world of you<span class="pagenum">[Pg 45]</span>.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Of course not, never let the rising generation
suspect the truth about marriage—if you
want 'em to marry.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>There are other truths than unpleasant
truths, Uncle Everett, other marriages than unhappy
marriages.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Want me to tell her the truth about your
marriage?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>at the door</i>]</p>
<p>Why uncle! Even <i>you</i> must admit that
Theodore and Mary are happy.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">John</span> is too much surprised to notice
<span class="smcap">Lucy's</span> presence.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Happy? What's that got to do with it? Marriage
is a social institution. Theodore said so....
Every time a boy kisses a girl she should
first inquire: "A sacrifice for society?" And if
he says, "I want to gain character, sweet<span class="pagenum">[Pg 46]</span>heart,"
then—"Darling, do your duty!" and
he'll do it.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Well, Theodore has certainly done <i>his</i> duty
by society—six children!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Then society hasn't done its duty by Theodore—only
one salary!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>The more credit to him! He and Mary have
sacrificed everything to their children and the
Church—even health!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>We don't need your pity! We don't want
your praise! Poverty, suffering, even separation,
have only drawn us closer together. We
love each other through it all! Why, in the last
letter the doctor let her write she said, she
said—[<i>Suddenly overcome with emotion, turns
abruptly.</i>] If you'll excuse me, Lucy ... Sanitarium
... the telephone.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Theodore</span> goes into the house.</i></p>
<p><span class="pagenum">[Pg 47]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Not praise or pity but something more substantial
and, by George, I'll get it for them!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Turns to <span class="smcap">John</span>, who interrupts.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>See the example <i>he</i> sets to society—I honor
him for it.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Fine! but that doesn't seem to restore Mary's
radiant health, Theodore's brilliant youth.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Ah, but they have their <i>children</i>—think how
they adore those beautiful children!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>No, don't think how they adore them, think
how they <i>rear</i> those beautiful children—in the
streets; one little daughter dead from contagion;
one son going to the devil from other
things picked up in the street! If marriage is a
social institution, look at it socially. Why, a
marriage like mine is worth a dozen like theirs—to
Society. Look at my well-launched children;
look at my useful career, as a jackal to<span class="pagenum">[Pg 48]</span>
Big Business; look at my now perfectly contented
spouse!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>But if you are divorced!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Is the object of marriage merely to stay
married?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>But character, think of the character they
have gained.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Oh, is it to gain character at the expense of
helpless offspring? Society doesn't gain by that—it
loses, Lucy, it loses.... But simply because,
God bless 'em, "they love each other
through it all," you sentimental standpatters
believe in lying about it, do you?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>bored, whips out pocket check-book and fountain
pen</i>]</p>
<p>Oh, talk, talk, talk! Money talks for <i>me</i>....
But they're both so confoundedly proud!<span class="pagenum">[Pg 49]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Go on, write that check! [<i><span class="smcap">John</span> writes.</i>] They
must sacrifice their pride, John. Nothing else
left to sacrifice, I'm afraid.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Well, you get this to them somehow.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Hands check to <span class="smcap">Judge.</span></i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Aha! Talk did it.... Five thousand? Generous
John!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>impatiently</i>]</p>
<p>Never mind about me. <i>That</i> problem is all
settled; now about Helen.... Lucy! I thought
I told you——</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span>, in a guilty hurry, escapes into the
house.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>John, charity never settles problems; it perpetuates
them. You can't cure social defects by
individual treatment.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>more impatiently</i>]</p>
<p>Does talk settle anything?<span class="pagenum">[Pg 50]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Everything. We may even settle the marriage
problem if we talk <i>honestly</i>. [<i><span class="smcap">Theodore</span> returns
from telephoning to the sanitarium.</i>] Theodore,
it's all right! John honestly believes in setting
an example to society! Crazy to have his sisters
go and do likewise!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Splendid, John! I knew you'd see it—an
ideal match.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>overriding <span class="smcap">John</span></i>]</p>
<p>Right, Theodore, ideal. This scientific suitor
will shower everything upon her John honors
and admires: A host of servants—I mean sacrifices;
carriages and motors—I mean character
and morals; just what her brother advocates
in Sunday-school—for others. An ideal marriage.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>hands in pockets</i>]</p>
<p>You think you're awfully funny, don't you?
Humph! I do more for the Church, for education,
art, science than all the rest of the family<span class="pagenum">[Pg 51]</span>
combined. Incidentally, I'm not divorced....
But this is a practical world, Theodore, I've got
to protect my own.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>returning</i>]</p>
<p>Helen will be here in a minute.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>suddenly getting an idea</i>]</p>
<p>Ah! I have it! I know how to keep them
apart!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Be careful, John—these two love each other.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Yes, young people still fall in love. Whether
we make it hard or easy for them—they <i>will</i>
do it. But, mark my words, unless we <i>reform
marriage</i>, there is going to be a sympathetic
<i>strike</i> against it—as there is already against
having children. Instead of making it harder to
get apart, we've got to make it easier to stay
together. Otherwise the ancient bluff will soon
be called!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Sssh! Here she comes.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 52]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p><i>Please</i> don't talk this way before her.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>All right, I'm not divorced yet,... still in
the conspiracy of silence.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Helen</span> appears at the door. A sudden silence.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>kissing <span class="smcap">Theodore</span> and <span class="smcap">Judge</span> affectionately</i>]</p>
<p>I'm <i>so</i> sorry to hear about dear Mary. [<i>To
<span class="smcap">Judge</span>.</i>] But why didn't Aunt Julia come? Is
she ill, too?</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Slight panic in the family party.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>She's gone to Re-Re-Rio Janeiro—I mean
to Santa Barbara—wants a complete change—The
Rest Cure. [<i>To <span class="smcap">Theodore</span> apart.</i>] Lie
number one.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Another silence. <span class="smcap">Lucy</span> makes tea for <span class="smcap">Helen</span>.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>taking the cup</i>]</p>
<p>Well, go on!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Go on with what?<span class="pagenum">[Pg 53]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>stirring tea</i>]</p>
<p>Your discussion of marriage.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>How did you know?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Oh, it's in the air. Everybody's talking about
it nowadays.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>She sips tea, and the others look conscious.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>My dear, marriage is woman's only true
career.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>raising her shield of flippancy</i>]</p>
<p>So Lucy tells me, Cousin Theodore. But a
woman cannot pursue her career, she must be
pursued by it; otherwise she is unwomanly.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Ahem. As we passed through the library a
while ago, I think I saw your little sister being
pursued by her career.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Yes, uncle, but Jean is a true woman. I'm
only a New Woman.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 54]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>All the same, you'll be an old woman some
day—if you don't watch out.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Ah, yes, my life's a failure. I haven't trapped
a man into a contract to support me.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>picks up knitting bag and does her best to look
like "just an old-fashioned wife"</i>]</p>
<p>You ought to be ashamed! Making marriage
so mercenary. Helen, dear, haven't you New
Women any sentiment?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Enough sentiment not to make a mercenary
marriage, Lucy, dear.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Ahem! And what kind of a marriage do you
expect to make?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Not any, thank you, uncle.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>What! You don't believe in holy matrimony?<span class="pagenum">[Pg 55]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Only as a last extremity, uncle, like unholy
divorce.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>jumps</i>]</p>
<p>What do <i>you</i> know about that?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>I know all about it! [<i>Others jump.</i>] I have
been reading up on the subject.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>All relax, relieved, but now gather about the
young woman.</i></p>
<p><span class="lbrace"><span class="ft30">}</span>[<i>Together</i>]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Come now, simply because many young people rush into marriage without thinking—</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Simply because these New Women—</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Simply because one marriage in a thousand ends in divorce—</p>
<p><span class="pagenum">[Pg 56]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Wait!... One in a thousand? Dear me,
what an idealist you are, John! In America,
one marriage in every eleven now ends in
divorce. And yet you wonder why I hesitate.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>One in eleven—rot! [<i>To <span class="smcap">Judge</span>.</i>] All this
muck-raking should be suppressed by the Government.
"One in eleven!" Bah!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>demurely</i>]</p>
<p>The Government's own statistics, John.</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>They all turn to the <span class="smcap">Judge</span> for denial, but he
nods confirmation, with a complacent
smile, murmuring: "Two souls with but a
single thought."</i></p>
</div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>sweetly knitting</i>]</p>
<p>Well, I may be old-fashioned, but it seems to
<i>me</i> that nice girls shouldn't <i>think</i> of such things....
Their husbands will tell them all they
ought to know about marriage—after they're
married.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 57]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Ah, I see. Nice girls mustn't think until after
they rush in, but they mustn't rush in until
after they think. You married people make it
all so simple for us.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Right! The way to cure all evil is for nice
people to close their minds and mouths to
it. It's "unpleasant" for a pure mind, and it
"leaves a bad taste in the mouth." So there
you are, my dear.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>coming in strong</i>]</p>
<p>Oh, talk, talk, talk! I've had enough. See
here, young lady, I offered to pay all your expenses
abroad for a year. You didn't seem to
appreciate it—well, the trustees of the institute
are now to give Doctor Hamilton a year
abroad. How do you like that?</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>All turn and look at <span class="smcap">Helen</span>.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Splendid! Just what he needs! Doctor Metchnikoff
told me in Paris that America always<span class="pagenum">[Pg 58]</span>
kills its big men with routine. When do we
start?</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>She tries to look very businesslike.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>springing to his feet</i>]</p>
<p>"We!" Do you think <i>you</i> are going?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Of course! I'm his assistant—quite indispensable
to him.... [<i>To all.</i>] Oh, well, if you
don't believe me, ask him!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>pacing to and fro</i>]</p>
<p>What next! Paris! Alone, with a man!—Here's
where I call a halt!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>But if my work calls me, I don't really see
what you have to say about it, John.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Better not defy me, Helen.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>He scowls.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Better not bully me, John.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>She smiles.</i></p>
<p><span class="pagenum">[Pg 59]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>I am your brother.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>But not my owner! [<i>Then, instead of defiance,
she turns with animated interest to the others.</i>]
You know, all women used to be owned by men.
Formerly they ruled us by physical force—now
by financial force.... But at last they
are to lose even <i>that</i> hold upon us—poor dears!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Pats <span class="smcap">John's</span> shoulder playfully.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>amused, but serious</i>]</p>
<p>That's all right in theory, but this is a practical
world. My pull got you into the institute;
my pull can get you out. You give up this wild
idea or give up your job!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>delighted</i>]</p>
<p>What did I tell you? Financial force! They
still try it, you see. [<i>To <span class="smcap">John</span>.</i>] What if I refused
to give up either, John?<span class="pagenum">[Pg 60]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>emphatic</i>]</p>
<p>Then as a trustee of the institute I ask for
your resignation—right here and now! [<i>Turns
away.</i>] I guess <i>that</i> will hold her at home a
while.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>I simply <i>must</i> go to Paris now. I've nothing
else to do!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>with a confident smile</i>]</p>
<p>You will, eh? Who'll pay your expenses this
time?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>matter of fact</i>]</p>
<p>Doctor Hamilton.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Helen! please! You oughtn't to say such
things even in joke.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>He'll take me along as his private secretary,
if I ask him.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>A pause. The others look at one another
helplessly.</i></p>
<p><span class="pagenum">[Pg 61]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>John, she's got you. You might as well quit.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Nonsense. I have just begun. You'll see.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>If you're so independent, my dear, why don't
you marry your scientist and be done with it?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>resents the intrusion but hides her feelings</i>]</p>
<p>Can you keep a secret? [<i>They all seem to think
they can and gather near.</i>] He has never asked me!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>The family seems annoyed.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>with match-making ardor</i>]</p>
<p>No wonder, dear, he has never seen you except
in that awful apron. But those stunning dinner
gowns John bought you in Paris! My dear, in
evening dress you are quite irresistible!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>apart to <span class="smcap">Theodore</span></i>]</p>
<p>Irresistible? Pink parasols. What a system!<span class="pagenum">[Pg 62]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>But you see, I don't <i>want</i> him to ask me.
I've had all I could do to keep him from it.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>The family seems perplexed.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>She's got <i>some</i> sense left.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>But suppose he did ask you, dear?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Why, I'd simply refer the matter to John, of
course. If John said, "Love him," I'd love him;
if John said, "Don't love him," I'd turn it off
like electric light.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>The family is becoming exasperated.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>insinuating</i>]</p>
<p>Oh, you can't deceive us. We know how much
you admire him, Helen.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Oh, no you don't! [<i>The family is amazed.</i>]
Not even he does. Did you ever hear how he<span class="pagenum">[Pg 63]</span>
risked his life in battle down in Cuba? Why,
he's a perfect hero of romance!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>mutters</i>]</p>
<p>Never even saw a war—mollycoddle germ
killer!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Not in the war with Spain—the war against
yellow fever, John.... No drums to make
him brave, no correspondents to make him
famous—he merely rolled up his sleeve and let
an innocent-looking mosquito bite him. Then
took notes on his symptoms till he became delirious....
He happened to be among those
who recovered.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>The family is impressed.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Old-fashioned maidens used to marry their
heroes, Helen.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>arising, briskly</i>]</p>
<p>But this new-fashioned hero gets only two
thousand dollars a year, Theodore.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>She turns to escape.</i></p>
<p><span class="pagenum">[Pg 64]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>nodding</i>]</p>
<p>I told you she had sense.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Helen! You selfish, too? Why, Mary and I
married on half that, didn't we, John?</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>He looks around. The family looks away.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>with unintended emphasis</i>]</p>
<p>Doctor Hamilton needs every cent of that
enormous salary—books, travel, scientific conferences—all
the advantages he simply must
have if he's to keep at the top and do his best
work for the world. The most selfish thing a
girl can do is to marry a poor man.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>With that she hurries up the steps.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>following her</i>]</p>
<p>All the same, deep down under it all, she has
a true woman's yearning for a home to care for
and a mate to love. [<i>She is silently crying.</i>] Why,
Helen, dear, what's the matter?<span class="pagenum">[Pg 65]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>hiding her emotion</i>]</p>
<p>Oh, why can't they let me <i>alone</i>! They make
what ought to be the holiest and most beautiful
thing in life the most horrible and dishonest.
They make me hate marriage—hate it!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Unseen by <span class="smcap">Helen</span>, the <span class="smcap">Butler</span> steps out.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>patting her shoulder</i>]</p>
<p>Just you wait till the right one comes along.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Butler</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>to <span class="smcap">Lucy</span></i>]</p>
<p>Doctor Hamilton has come, ma'am.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>with an old-fashioned gasp</i>]</p>
<p>Good heavens!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>And runs to the family.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Show Doctor Hamilton out.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>The <span class="smcap">Butler</span> goes.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>A plot to entrap him! [<i>Running to and fro<span class="pagenum">[Pg 66]</span>
wildly.</i>] But it's no use! I'm going ... until
he's gone!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Helen</span> runs into the garden.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Fighting hard, poor child.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>But what'll we do?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Don't worry—she can't stay away—the
sweet thing!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Now listen, we must all jolly him up—he'll
be shy in these surroundings.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Going to surrender, John?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>What I am going to do requires finesse.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>in a flutter, seeing <span class="smcap">Hamilton</span> approach</i>]</p>
<p>Oh, dear! how does one talk to highbrows?<span class="pagenum">[Pg 67]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Talk to him about himself! Highbrows, lowbrows,
all men love it.</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i><span class="smcap">Ernest Hamilton</span>, discoverer of the Hamilton
antitoxin, is a fine-looking fellow of
about thirty-five, without the spectacles or
absent-mindedness somehow expected of
scientific genius. He talks little but very
rapidly and sees everything. It does not
occur to him to be shy or embarrassed "in
these surroundings"—not because he is
habituated to so much luxury, on three
thousand a year, nor because he despises
it; he likes it; but he likes other things even
more. That is why he works for two thousand
a year, instead of working for fat,
fashionable fees in private practice.</i></p>
<p><i><span class="smcap">John</span> meets his distinguished guest at the
door—effusively, yet with that smiling
condescension which wealthy trustees sometimes
show to "scientists, college professors,
and that sort of thing."</i></p>
</div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Ah, Doctor Hamilton! Delighted to see you
on my little farm at last. Out here I'm just a
plain, old-fashioned farmer.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 68]</span></p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i><span class="smcap">Ernest</span> glances about at the magnificence
and smiles imperceptibly. He makes no
audible replies to the glad welcome, but
bows urbanely, master of himself and the
situation.</i></p>
</div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Doctor Hamilton! So good of you to come.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>How are you, Ernest? Glad to see you.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>I don't think you've met our uncle, Judge
Grey.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>humorously adopting their manner</i>]</p>
<p>Charmed! I've heard so much about you!—from
my niece.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>to <span class="smcap">Ernest's</span> rescue, like a tactful hostess</i>]</p>
<p>A cup of tea, Doctor Hamilton?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>unperturbed by the reference to <span class="smcap">Helen</span></i>]</p>
<p>Thanks.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 69]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>while <span class="smcap">Lucy</span> makes tea. Trustee manner</i>]</p>
<p>I have often desired to express my admiration
of your heroism in the war against yellow fever
in er—ah—<i>Cuba</i>, when you let an innocent-looking
mosquito bite you——</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>nodding and poising sugar-tongs</i>]</p>
<p>And then took notes on your symptoms till
you became delirious!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>No sugar, thanks.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>He looks from one to another with considerable
interest.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>No drums to make you famous, no war correspondents
to make you brave—I mean the
other way round.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>to <span class="smcap">Lucy</span> poising cream pitcher</i>]</p>
<p>No cream, please.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Senator Root says this one triumph alone<span class="pagenum">[Pg 70]</span>
saves <i>twenty million dollars a year</i> to the business
interests of the United States! I call that
true patriotism.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>with a nod of assent to <span class="smcap">Lucy</span></i>]</p>
<p>Lemon.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>with sincerity</i>]</p>
<p>General Wood says it saves more <i>human
lives</i> a year than were lost in the whole Spanish
War! I call it service.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Colonel Goethals says the Panama Canal
could not have been built if it hadn't been for
you self-sacrificing scientists. Not only that,
but you have abolished forever from the United
States a scourge which for more than a century
had through periodic outbreaks spread terror,
devastation, and death.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>A pause.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>bored, but trying to hide it</i>]</p>
<p>The ones who deserve your praise are the four
who died to prove that theory.... [<i>He smiles.</i>]
Of course, you all know their names.... [<i>He<span class="pagenum">[Pg 71]</span>
looks at <span class="smcap">John</span>, who looks at <span class="smcap">Judge</span>, who looks at
<span class="smcap">Lucy</span>, who looks at <span class="smcap">Theodore</span>. He takes up his
cup.</i>] Delicious tea.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Ah, but they didn't do it for fame, for
money—that's the beauty of the sacrifice.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>with a smile</i>]</p>
<p>Quite so.... That's what Congress told us
when we suggested a pension for the widow of
the first victim.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">All</span></p>
<p>What! Did Congress refuse the pension?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>finishes his tea</i>]</p>
<p>They finally voted the sum of seventeen
dollars a month for the widow and no less than
two dollars a month extra for each of his children....</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Is that all?<span class="pagenum">[Pg 72]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>No.... We pestered Congress to death until,
a few years ago, they replaced the pension with
an annuity of one hundred and twenty-five dollars
a month—though some of them said it
was a very bad precedent to establish. [<i>Returns
cup to <span class="smcap">Lucy</span>.</i>] No more, thanks, delicious.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>And turns to admire the wide-sweeping view
of the farm, hands in pockets.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>after a pause</i>]</p>
<p>Well, I think our scientists might well be
called philanthropists.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>Hardly! You see, every one <i>knows</i> the names
of philanthropists.... Better let it go at "scientists."</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>He's right. Philanthropists don't give their
lives, they give their names—have 'em carved
in stone over their institutes and libraries.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">John</span> approaches and joins his guest.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>Charming little farm you have here.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 73]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Doctor Hamilton, America kills its big men
with routine. You are too valuable to the
nation to lose—the trustees think you need a
year abroad.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>That's strange, I came out here to suggest
that very thing.... Somebody has been saying
kind things about me in Paris. Just had a letter
from the great Metchnikoff—wants me to
come over and work in the Pasteur! Chance
of a lifetime!... You didn't have to jolly me
up to consent to that!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>pacing terrace with his guest, arm in arm</i>]</p>
<p>By the by, my sister is rather keen on science.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>Best assistant I ever had. You can pile an
awful lot of routine on a woman. The female of
the species is more faithful than the male....
She's over there already. We can get right to
work.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>She'll be back before you start.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 74]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>stops short</i>]</p>
<p>I didn't know that.... Well, what is it?</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">John</span> hesitates, turns to the family, all
watching with breathless interest.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Don't you see, old chap, under the circumstances
it would hardly do for her to go back
to Paris with you.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>Why not?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>You're a man.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>smiling</i>]</p>
<p>You mean I'm dangerous?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>But she's a woman.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>They mean <i>she's</i> dangerous.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 75]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>My dear fellow, we are going to ask you quite
frankly to decline to take her.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>looks about at the circle of anxious faces. He
wont let them read him</i>]</p>
<p>So that's it, eh?... But it's the chance of
a lifetime for her, too. She needs it more than
I do. She's had so little chance to do original
work.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>But she's a woman.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>Just what has that to do with it?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Everything. We have the highest respect for
you, Doctor Hamilton, but also ... one must
respect the opinions of the world, you know.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>thinks it over</i>]</p>
<p>That's right. One must. I forgot to think of
that.... It's curious, but when working with<span class="pagenum">[Pg 76]</span>
women of ability one learns to respect them so
much that one quite loses the habit of insulting
them. Too bad how new conditions spoil fine old
customs.... Suppose you let her go and let me
stay. I can find plenty to do here, I fancy.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>I fear it would offend our generous benefactor,
Mr. Baker. He has set his heart on your going
abroad, meeting other big men, getting new
ideas for our great humanitarian work. [<i>The
family exchange glances while <span class="smcap">John</span> lies on.</i>] Besides,
my sister would only go to accommodate
you. She particularly desires to stay here this
winter. That's why she is returning so soon,
you see.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>believes it</i>]</p>
<p>Oh, I see.... I'm sure I have no desire to
<i>drag</i> her over with me.... [<i>Smiles at himself.</i>]
I rather thought the opportunity to continue
our experiments together ... but that's all
right.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Then it's all settled—you agree to go alone?<span class="pagenum">[Pg 77]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>a slight pause</i>]</p>
<p>Yes, alone. It's quite settled.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>How soon could you start?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>absently</i>]</p>
<p>How soon? Why, just as soon as I get some
one to run my department.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Could my sister run it?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>smiles</i>]</p>
<p>Could she run it? It can't run without her!
She's as systematic as [<i>to <span class="smcap">Lucy</span></i>]—as a good
housekeeper.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>with a satisfied look at the others</i>]</p>
<p>Then <i>that's</i> all fixed! She'll stay when I tell
her that you want her to. Could you arrange
to start at once?<span class="pagenum">[Pg 78]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>hesitates</i>]</p>
<p>By leaving here to-night, I could.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>with a triumphant look at the family</i>]</p>
<p>Then I'll telephone for your passage—I have
a pull with all the steamship lines. [<i>Going.</i>] Of
course I hate to cut short your week-end, but I
don't want to spoil any scientific careers.</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i><span class="smcap">John</span> hurries in to telephone. <span class="smcap">Ernest</span> starts
too, as if to stop him but restrains the impulse.
He stands alone by the door gazing
out over the landscape while <span class="smcap">Lucy</span>, <span class="smcap">Theodore</span>,
and the <span class="smcap">Judge</span> discuss him in low
tones by the tea-table.</i></p>
</div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Can't you see, you stupid men! He's crazy
about her—but thinks there's no hope.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>When she finds he's leaving for a year ...
she'll change her mind about marriage!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Ernest</span> comes back to earth and to the house-party.</i></p>
<p><span class="pagenum">[Pg 79]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>to <span class="smcap">Ernest</span>, joining them</i>]</p>
<p>Ahem! We were just discussing the marriage
danger—I mean the marriage problem.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>with a smile</i>]</p>
<p>Go right on—don't mind me.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>old-friend manner</i>]</p>
<p>See here! When are <i>you</i> ever going to marry?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>modern bachelor's laugh</i>]</p>
<p>When am I ever going to get more than two
thousand a year?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Bah! what has money got to do with it! Just
you wait till the right one comes along.</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i><span class="smcap">Helen</span> comes along, stealing up the steps
from the garden on tiptoe with the grave,
absorbed look of a hunter stalking game.
She catches sight of the man she wants
and stops short, as motionless as if frozen.
But not so! Her lovely hands were poised;<span class="pagenum">[Pg 80]</span>
one of them now goes to her bosom and
presses there. There is nothing icy about
this New Woman now.</i></p>
</div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>as unconscious of danger as a mountain-lion on
an inaccessible height, smiles easily at his
sentimental old friend <span class="smcap">Theodore</span></i>]</p>
<p>How do you know "the right one" hasn't
come already?</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i><span class="smcap">Theodore</span> catches sight of <span class="smcap">Helen</span>. She
shakes her head in silent pleading, taps a
finger on her lips, and in a panic flees
noiselessly across toward the door.</i></p>
</div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>suppressing a laugh</i>]</p>
<p>Then don't let her go by!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Helen</span> stops at the door and makes a face at
<span class="smcap">Theodore</span>.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>affecting indifference</i>]</p>
<p>Oh, I couldn't stop her, even if I wanted to.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>turning to wink at <span class="smcap">Helen</span></i>]</p>
<p>How do you know? Did you ever ask her?<span class="pagenum">[Pg 81]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>To marry me? Oh, no! She hasn't any
money.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i><span class="smcap">Helen</span> is dumfounded</i>]</p>
<p>Money! You wouldn't marry for money!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Helen</span> draws near to hear the answer.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>You don't suppose I'd marry a woman who
hadn't any? Most selfish thing a poor man can
do.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Helen</span> is interested.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Oh, fiddlesticks! You modern young people—</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>interrupts</i>]</p>
<p>Make her a sort of superior servant in an inferior
home—not that girl!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Helen</span> is pleased.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Feministic nonsense! The old-fashioned womanly
woman—<span class="pagenum">[Pg 82]</span>—</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>Sentimental twaddle! What makes it more
"womanly" to do menial work <i>for</i> men than
intellectual work with them?</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Helen</span> delighted, applauds noiselessly.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>All the same, I'll bet you wouldn't let a little
thing like that stand in your way if you really
cared for a woman enough to marry her.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>benign and secure</i>]</p>
<p>But, as it happens, I don't. Nothing could
induce me to marry.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Helen</span> raises her chin, her eyes glitter dangerously.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>So you are going to run away to Europe like
a coward?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>smiles patronizingly</i>]</p>
<p>Theodore, you are such an incorrigible idealist!
I have nothing to be afraid of—I simply
do not care to <i>marry</i>!<span class="pagenum">[Pg 83]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>That's just what <i>I</i> said!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>All turn and behold <span class="smcap">Helen</span>.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>My heavens!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>He steps back like a coward.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>But I agree with you perfectly. [<i>She holds out
her hand to him.</i>] I was so afraid you believed in
marriage.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>He rushes to her eagerly.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>as the lovers shake hands</i>]</p>
<p>You wronged him. Apologize.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>Why—why—all this time, I thought <i>you</i>
had the usual attitude.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Wronged <i>her</i>. Both apologize.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Why didn't you ever tell me you had such
enlightened views?<span class="pagenum">[Pg 84]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>Why didn't you ever tell me?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Each understands the other now. Everything
lovely!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Think of the discussions we might have had!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Not too late yet. Julia and I had discussions
for a quarter of a century.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Don't think I had any hand in this. [<i>Laughs.</i>]
I was going to warn you, but now—it is unnecessary
now.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>Warn me? What do you mean?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Can't you see? It was all a plot! [<i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span> draws
near noiselessly.</i>] A plot to entrap you in marriage!
They had about given me up as a bad<span class="pagenum">[Pg 85]</span>
job. <i>You</i> were my last hope. They were going
to throw me at your head. [<i>Louder but without
turning.</i>] Weren't you, Lucy dear?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>caught listening, turns abruptly to the others</i>]</p>
<p>These New Women are utterly shameless.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>to <span class="smcap">Ernest</span></i>]</p>
<p>These old-fashioned women are utterly shameless.
After a decent interval, they will all with
one accord make excuses to leave us here alone,
so that I can—[<i>she comes nearer</i>] ensnare you!
[<i><span class="smcap">Ernest</span> laughs nervously.</i>] Lucy is going to say—[<i>imitates
<span class="smcap">Lucy's</span> sweet tones</i>]: "If you'll excuse
me, I always take forty winks before dressing."
Dressing is the hardest work Lucy has to
do. Cousin Theodore will find that he <i>must</i>
write to his wife, and Uncle Everett will feel a
yearning for the billiard room. [<i><span class="smcap">Ernest</span> is nodding
and chuckling.</i>] They're hanging on longer
than usual to-day, and I simply must have a
talk with you.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>Our shop-talk would scandalize 'em!<span class="pagenum">[Pg 86]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Wait, I'll get rid of them!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>She sits and begins to make tea.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>I've had my tea, thanks.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Stupid! Sit down. [<i>Indicates a chair close to
hers. He takes it cautiously.</i>] We'll have a little
fun with them in a minute.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>She is busy now making tea.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>to <span class="smcap">Lucy</span> and the <span class="smcap">Judge</span> apart</i>]</p>
<p>You may be right, Uncle Everett, but upon
my word it is the strangest courtship I ever
witnessed.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>They ought to be spanked.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Don't worry, old Mother Nature will attend
to that.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Well, I may be old-fashioned, but—<span class="pagenum">[Pg 87]</span>—</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>interrupting</i>]</p>
<p>But this is merely a new fashion, my dear
Lucy. Nature her ancient custom holds, let
science say what it will.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>handing cup to <span class="smcap">Ernest</span> with a glance at the
others</i>]</p>
<p>Now, then, be attentive to me. [<i>He leans toward
her rather shyly, abashed by her nearness.
She makes eyes at him reproachfully.</i>] Oh, can't
you be more attentive than that? [<i>She acts like
a coquette and he looks into her beautiful eyes and
while he is doing so she says with a fascinating
drawl</i>] Now tell me a-all about anterior poliomyelitis!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>suddenly taken aback, he laughs</i>]</p>
<p>Nothing doing since you left.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>And bends close to explain.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>If you'll excuse me, Doctor Hamilton, I<span class="pagenum">[Pg 88]</span>
always take forty winks before dressing. We
dine at eight.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Going, she signals to the others. <span class="smcap">Ernest</span> and
<span class="smcap">Helen</span> exchange smiles.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>laughing, to <span class="smcap">Lucy</span></i>]</p>
<p>Ss't! Don't tell John what's going on! Keep
him busy telephoning. [<i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span> nods excitedly and
almost runs to obey the Church.</i>] Helen, if you
and Ernest will excuse me, I really must write
to Mary.</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Their shoulders are close together and they
seem too absorbed to reply. <span class="smcap">Theodore</span>
smiles down upon them and signals the
<span class="smcap">Judge</span> to come along. The <span class="smcap">Judge</span>, however,
shakes his head but waves <span class="smcap">Theodore</span>
into the house. Uncle Everett looks at
the lovers with quizzical interest. He draws
near and eavesdrops shamelessly.</i></p>
</div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>You oughtn't to have dropped the polio experiments.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>You oughtn't to have dropped me—right
in the <i>midst</i> of the experiments. Those agar<span class="pagenum">[Pg 89]</span>
plates you were incubating dried up and spoiled.
You played the very devil with my data.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>God bless my soul! what are we coming to?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>without turning</i>]</p>
<p>It's perfectly proper for your little ears,
uncle, only you can't understand a word of it.
Won't <i>any</i> one play billiards with you?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>But I'm fascinated. It's so idyllic. Makes me
feel young again.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>to <span class="smcap">Ernest</span></i>]</p>
<p>Oh, you have plenty of men assistants who
can estimate antitoxin units.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>Men assistants lose interest. They are all so
confoundedly ambitious to do original work.
Why is it women can stand day after day of monotonous
detail better than men?<span class="pagenum">[Pg 90]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Because men always made them tend the
home!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Ah, nothing like a good old-fashioned love
scene—in the scientific spirit.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Uncle, dear! <i>Can't</i> you see that he is paying
me wonderful compliments? Haven't you any
tact? Go and play Canfield in the library.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>lighting cigar</i>]</p>
<p>Very well, I'll leave you to your own devices—and
may God, <i>your</i> God, have mercy on your
scientific souls.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>with sudden animation and camaraderie, thinking
they are alone</i>]</p>
<p>Now I must tell you what Doctor Metchnikoff
said about you and your future!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Sst! [<i><span class="smcap">Helen</span> and <span class="smcap">Ernest</span> turn.</i>] My children<span class="pagenum">[Pg 91]</span>—[<i>Pause—raises
his hand.</i>] Don't forget the
scientific spirit!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>The <span class="smcap">Judge</span> saunters off into the garden,
smoking.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>How did you ever meet Metchnikoff?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>chaffing</i>]</p>
<p>I had worked under Hamilton! They <i>all</i>
wanted to meet me.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>with an unmistakable look</i>]</p>
<p>U'm ... was that why? [<i>Fleeing danger.</i>]
Didn't you let them know your part in that
discovery? Why, if it hadn't been for you, I
should never have stumbled upon the thing
at all.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Oh, I know my place too well for that! Talk
about <i>artistic</i> temperament, you scientists are
worse than prima donnas.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>takes printers' proofs out of pocket, hands them
to her in silence</i>]</p>
<p>Some proofs of a monograph I was correcting<span class="pagenum">[Pg 92]</span>
on the train. Mind hammering those loose sentences
of mine into decent English? You can
write—I can't.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>reading innocently</i>]</p>
<p>"Recent Experiments in Anterior Poliomyelitis
by Ernest Hamilton, M.D., Ph.D., and
Helen"—what! why, you've put <i>my</i> name with
yours!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Much excited and delighted.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>Well, if you object—like a prima donna——</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Takes out pencil to mark on proof.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>snatching proofs away</i>]</p>
<p>Object? Why, this makes my reputation in
the scientific world.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>Well, didn't you make mine?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>still glowing with pride, but touched by his unexpected
generosity</i>]</p>
<p>You can't imagine what this means to me.
It's so hard for a woman to get any recognition.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 93]</span>
Most men have but one use for us. If we get
interested in anything but <i>them</i> it is "unwomanly"—they
call it "a fad." But they've
<i>got</i> to take me seriously now. My name with
Ernest Hamilton's!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Points to her name and swaggers back and
forth.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>bantering</i>]</p>
<p>But then, you see, you are a very exceptional
woman. Why, you have a mind like a man.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Like a man? [<i>Coming close to him, tempting
him.</i>] If you had a mind like a woman you
would know better than to say that to me!</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Re-enter <span class="smcap">Judge</span> from garden. He smiles and
glances at them. The lovers keep quiet as
he crosses to the door. Then they look at
each other and smile. <span class="smcap">Judge</span> has gone into
the house. It is nearly dark. The moon is
rising.</i></p>
</div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>raises eyebrows</i>]</p>
<p>They all take for granted that I want to
make love to you.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Smiles but avoids her eyes.</i><span class="pagenum">[Pg 94]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>avoids his</i>]</p>
<p>Well, you took for granted that I wanted
you to!... You are about the most conceited
man I ever knew.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>How can I help it when you admire me so?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>I? Admire you?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>You're always telling me what great things
I'm going to do—stimulating me, pushing me
along. Why, after you left, everything went
slump. Tell me, why did you leave? Was I rude
to you? Did I hurt your feelings?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Not in the least. It was entirely out of respect
for <i>your</i> feelings.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p><i>My</i> feelings? [<i>Laughing.</i>] Oh, I see. You got it
into your head that <i>I</i> wanted to marry <i>you</i>!<span class="pagenum">[Pg 95]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Men sometimes do.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>looks away</i>]</p>
<p>I suppose they do.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>It's been known to happen.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>Talk about conceit! Well, you needn't be
afraid! I'll never ask you to marry <i>me</i>.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>turns and looks at him a moment</i>]</p>
<p>You can't imagine what a weight this takes
off my mind.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>She looks away and sighs.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>enthusiastically</i>]</p>
<p>Yes! I feel as if a veil between us had been
lifted.</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He looks away and sighs too. Some one begins
"Tristan and Isolde" on the piano
within. The moon is up.</i></p>
</div>
<p><span class="pagenum">[Pg 96]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>after a pause</i>]</p>
<p>Suppose we talk about—our work.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>Yes! Our work. Let's drop the other subject.
Look at the moon!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Music and the moonlight flooding them.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Seriously, you promise never to <i>mention</i> the
subject again?</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>She keeps her eyes averted.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>I promise.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>He keeps his eyes averted.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>turning to him with a sudden change to girlish
enthusiasm</i>]</p>
<p>Then I'll go to Paris with you!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>recoils</i>]</p>
<p>What's that?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Why, Doctor Metchnikoff—he promised me
he would invite you.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 97]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>Yes, but—</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Don't miss the chance of a lifetime!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>No, but you—<i>you</i> can't come!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>simply</i>]</p>
<p>If you need me I can, and you just said——</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>But you mustn't come to Paris with me!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Don't you want me with you?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>You are to stay at home and run the department
for me.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>stepping back</i>]</p>
<p>Don't you want me with you?<span class="pagenum">[Pg 98]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>stepping forward, with his heart in voice</i>]</p>
<p>Do I <i>want</i> you! [<i>Stops.</i>] But I am a man—you
are a woman.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>What of it? Are you one of those small men
who care what people say? No! That's not your
reason! [<i>She sees that it is not.</i>] What is it? You
must tell me.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>hesitates</i>]</p>
<p>It's only for your sake.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>with feeling</i>]</p>
<p>Think of all I've done for <i>your</i> sake. You
wouldn't be going yourself but for me! I was
the one to see you needed it, I proposed it to
Metchnikoff—I urged him—<i>made</i> him ask
you—for <i>your sake</i>! And now am I to be left
at home like a child because you don't care
to be embarrassed with me?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>Oh, please! This is so unfair. But I simply
can't take you now.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 99]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>with growing scorn</i>]</p>
<p>Oh! You are all alike. You pile work upon me
until I nearly drop, you play upon my interest,
my sympathy—you get all you can out of
me—my youth, my strength, my best! And
then, just as I, too, have a chance to arrive in
my profession, you, of all men, throw me over!
I hate men. I hate you!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>And I love you!</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>They stare at each other in silence, the moonlight
flooding <span class="smcap">Helen's</span> face, the music
coming clear.</i></p>
</div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>in an awed whisper, stepping back slowly</i>]</p>
<p>I've done it! I've done it! I <i>knew</i> I'd do it!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>No. I did it. Forgive me. I had to do it.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Oh, and this spoils everything!<span class="pagenum">[Pg 100]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>comes closer</i>]</p>
<p>No! It glorifies everything! [<i>He breaks loose.</i>]
I have loved you from the first day you came
and looked up at me for orders. I didn't want
you there; I didn't want any woman there.
I tried to tire you out with overwork but
couldn't. I tried to drive you out by rudeness,
but you stayed. And that made me love you
more. Oh, I love you! I love you! I love you!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Don't; oh, don't love me!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>still closer</i>]</p>
<p>Why, I never knew there could be women
like you. I thought women were merely something
to be wanted and worshipped, petted
and patronized. But now—why, I love everything
about you: your wonderful, brave eyes
that face the naked facts of life and are not
ashamed; those beautiful hands that toiled so
long, so well, so close to mine and not afraid,
not afraid!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>You mustn't! I <i>am</i> afraid now! I made you<span class="pagenum">[Pg 101]</span>
say it. [<i>Smiling and crying.</i>] I have always
wanted to make you say it. I have always sworn
you shouldn't.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>pained</i>]</p>
<p>Because you cannot care enough?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Enough?... Too much.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>overwhelmed</i>]</p>
<p>You—love—me!</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He takes her in his arms, a silent embrace
with only the bland blasé moon looking on.</i></p>
</div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>It is because I love you that I didn't want
you to say it—only I did. It is because I love
you that I went abroad—to stay, only I
couldn't! I couldn't stay away! [<i>She holds his
face in her hands.</i>] Oh, do you know how I
love you? No!... you're only a <i>man</i>!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>kissing her rapturously</i>]</p>
<p>Every day there in the laboratory, when you<span class="pagenum">[Pg 102]</span>
in your apron—that dear apron which I stole
from your locker when you left me—when you
asked for orders—did you know that I wanted
to say: "Love me"! Every day when you took
up your work, did you never guess that I
wanted to take you up in my arms?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>smiling up into his face</i>]</p>
<p>Why didn't you?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>Thank God I didn't! For while we worked
there together I came to know you as few men
ever know the women they desire. Woman can
be more than sex, as man is more than sex.
And all this makes man and woman not less
but more <i>overwhelmingly</i> desirable and necessary
to each other, and makes both things last—not
for a few years, but forever!</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Sound of voices approaching from the garden.
The lovers separate. It is <span class="smcap">Jean</span> and
<span class="smcap">Rex</span>, <span class="smcap">Rex</span> laughing, <span class="smcap">Jean</span> dodging until
caught and kissed.</i></p>
</div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>No, no—it's time to dress.... Be good,
Rex—don't!<span class="pagenum">[Pg 103]</span></p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Without seeing <span class="smcap">Helen</span> and <span class="smcap">Ernest</span>, they
disappear into the house. <span class="smcap">Helen</span> is suddenly
changed, as if awakened from a spell
of enchantment.</i></p>
</div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>What have we done! This is all moonlight
and madness. To-morrow comes the clear light
of day.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>Ah, but we'll love each other to-morrow!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>But we cannot marry—then or any other
to-morrow.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>Can't? What nonsense!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>shaking her head and restraining him</i>]</p>
<p>I have slaved for you all these months—not
because I wanted to win you from your work
but to help you in it. And now—after all—shall
I destroy you? No! No!<span class="pagenum">[Pg 104]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>I <i>love</i> you—you love <i>me</i>—nothing else
matters.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Everything else matters. I'm not a little
débutante to be persuaded that I am needed
because I am wanted! I haven't <i>played</i> with
you; I have <i>worked</i> with you, and I <i>know</i>!
Think of Theodore! Think of Lucy! And now
poor little Jean. Marry you? Never!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>You mean your career?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>with supreme scorn</i>]</p>
<p><i>My</i> career? No! yours—always yours!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>with the same scorn and a snap of the fingers</i>]</p>
<p>Then <i>that</i> for my career. I'll go back into private
practice and make a million.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>That's just what I said you'd do. Just what
you must not do! Your work is needed by the
world.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 105]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>wooing</i>]</p>
<p>You are my world and I need you.... But
there is no love without marriage, no marriage
without money.... We can take it or leave
it. Can we leave it? No! I can't—you can't!
Come! [<i>She steps back slowly.</i>] Why should we
sacrifice the best! Come!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>So <i>this</i> is what marriage means! Then I
<i>cannot</i> marry you, Ernest!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>You cannot do without me, Helen! [<i>Holds
out his arms.</i>] Come! You have been in my arms
once. You and I can never forget that now. We
can never go back now. It's all—or nothing
now. Come! [<i>She is struggling against her passion.
He stands still, with arms held out.</i>] I shall
not woo you against your will, but you are coming
to me! Because, by all the powers of earth
and heaven, you are mine and I am yours!
Come!</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Like a homing pigeon she darts into his arms
with a gasp of joy. A rapturous embrace in<span class="pagenum">[Pg 106]</span>
silence with the moonlight streaming down
upon them. The music has stopped.</i></p>
<p><i><span class="smcap">John</span>, dressed for dinner, strolls out upon
the terrace. He stops abruptly upon discovering
them. The lovers are too absorbed
to be aware of his presence.</i></p>
</div>
<hr style="width: 65%;" />
<p><span class="pagenum">[Pg 107]</span></p>
<h1><span class="smcap">Act II</span></h1>
<p><span class="pagenum">[Pg 108]</span></p>
<hr style="width: 65%;" />
<p><span class="pagenum">[Pg 109]</span></p>
<h2><span class="smcap">Act II</span></h2>
<div class="pblockquot"><p><i>It is the next morning, Sunday.</i></p>
<p><i>It appears that at <span class="smcap">John's</span> country place they have
breakfast at small tables out upon the broad,
shaded terrace overlooking the glorious view
of his little farm.</i></p>
<p><i><span class="smcap">Ernest</span> and <span class="smcap">Theodore</span>, the scientist and the
clergyman, are breakfasting together. The others
are either breakfasting in their rooms or
are not yet down, it being Sunday.</i></p>
<p><i>The man of God is enjoying his material blessings
heartily. Also he seems to be enjoying
his view of the man of science, who eats little
and says less.</i></p>
</div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>with coffee-cup poised</i>]</p>
<p>What's the matter with your appetite
this morning, Ernest? [<i><span class="smcap">Ernest</span>,
gazing up at one of the second-story
windows, does not hear. The door opens. He starts.
Then, seeing it's only a servant with food, he<span class="pagenum">[Pg 110]</span>
sighs.</i>] Expecting something? The codfish balls?
Well, here they are. [<i><span class="smcap">Ernest</span> refuses the proffered
codfish balls, scowls, brings out cigar case,
lights cigar, looks at watch, and fidgets.</i>] Oh, I
know—you're crazy to go with me—to
church! [<i><span class="smcap">Ernest</span> doesn't hear. Creates a cloud of
smoke.</i>] Their regular rector is ill. So I agreed to
take the service this morning.... Always the
way when off for a rest ... isn't it? [<i>No
answer. <span class="smcap">Theodore</span> gets up, walks around the
table, and shouts in <span class="smcap">Ernest's</span> face.</i>] Isn't it?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>startled</i>]</p>
<p>I beg your pardon?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>laughs, <span class="smcap">Ernest</span> wondering what's the joke</i>]</p>
<p>Oh, you're hopeless! [<i>Going.</i>] I can't stand
people who talk so much at breakfast.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>suddenly wakes up</i>]</p>
<p>Wait a minute. Sit down. Have a cigar. Let's
talk about God. [<i><span class="smcap">Theodore</span> stops smiling.</i>] But
I mean it. I'd like to have a religion myself.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 111]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>I had an idea you took no stock in religion.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Takes the cigar. <span class="smcap">Ernest</span> holds a match for
him.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>enthusiastically</i>]</p>
<p>Just what I thought, until ... well, I've
made a discovery, a great discovery!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>A scientific discovery?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>with a wave of the hand</i>]</p>
<p>It makes all science look like a ... mere
machine.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Well, if you feel so strongly about it ...
better come to church after all!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>I'm not talking about the Church—I'm talking
about <i>religion</i>.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 112]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>You're not talking about religion; you're talking
about—love.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>quietly</i>]</p>
<p>Certainly; the same thing, isn't it? I'm talking
about the divine fire that glorifies life and
perpetuates it—the one eternal thing we mortals
share with God.... If <i>that</i> isn't religious,
what is? [<i><span class="smcap">Theodore</span> smiles indulgently.</i>] Tell
me, Theodore—you know I wasn't allowed to
go to church when young, and since then I've
always worked on the holy Sabbath day, like
yourself—does the Church still let innocent human
beings think there's something inherently
wrong about sex? [<i><span class="smcap">Theodore</span> drops his eyes.
<span class="smcap">Ernest</span> disgusted with him.</i>] I see! Good people
should drop their eyes even at the mention of
the word.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Sex is a necessary evil, I admit, but——</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>laughs</i>]</p>
<p>Evil! The God-given impulse which accounts
for you sitting there, for me sitting here? The<span class="pagenum">[Pg 113]</span>
splendid instinct which writes our poetry,
builds our civilizations, founds our churches—the
very heart and soul of life is evil. Really,
Theodore, I don't know much about religion,
but that strikes me as blasphemy against the
Creator.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Very scientific, my boy, very modern; but
the Church believed in marriage before Science
was born.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>As a compromise with evil?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>As a sacrament of religion—and so do you!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>Good! Then why practise and preach marriage
as a sacrament of property? "Who giveth this
woman to be married to this man—" Women
are still goods and chattels to be given or sold,
are they?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Oh, nonsense!<span class="pagenum">[Pg 114]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>Then why keep on making them promise to
"serve and obey"? Why marry them with a
ring—the link of the ancient chain? [<i>He smiles.</i>]
In the days of physical force it was made of
iron—now of gold. But it's still a chain, isn't
it?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Symbols, my dear fellow, not to be taken in a
literal sense—time-honored and beautiful symbols.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>But why insult a woman you respect—even
symbolically?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>with a laugh</i>]</p>
<p>Oh, you scientists!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>joining in the laugh</i>]</p>
<p>We try to find the truth—and you try to
hide it, eh? Well, there's one thing we have in
common, anyway—one faith I'll never doubt
again; I believe in Heaven now. I always shall.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 115]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Do you mind telling me why, my boy?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>Not in the least. I've been there. [<i><span class="smcap">John</span> comes
out to breakfast. He is scowling.</i>] Good morning;
could you spare me five minutes?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>ringing bell</i>]</p>
<p>Haven't had breakfast yet.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>After breakfast?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>I've an appointment with young Baker.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>smiles</i>]</p>
<p>I'll wait my turn.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Going to be pretty busy to-day—you, too, I
suppose, if you're sailing to-morrow.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 116]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>I can postpone sailing. This is more important.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>I should hate to see <i>anything</i> interfere with
your career.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span> also arrives for breakfast. She "always
pours her husband's coffee."</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>I appreciate your interest, but I'll look out
for my "career." [<i>To <span class="smcap">Lucy</span>.</i>] Could you tell me
when your sister will be down?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>overriding <span class="smcap">Lucy</span></i>]</p>
<p>My sister is ill and won't be down at all ...
until <i>after</i> you <i>leave</i>.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span> pretends not to hear. Theodore walks
away.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>aroused, but calm</i>]</p>
<p>I don't believe you quite understand. It is a
matter of indifference to me whether we have
a talk or not. Entirely out of courtesy to you
that I suggest it.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 117]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Don't inconvenience yourself on my account.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>shrugs shoulders and turns to <span class="smcap">Theodore</span></i>]</p>
<p>Wait, I think I'll sit in church till train time.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>smoothing it over</i>]</p>
<p>Come along. I'm going to preach about
marriage!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Theodore</span> starts off.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>going, turns to <span class="smcap">Lucy</span></i>]</p>
<p>Thanks for your kindness. Will you ask the
valet to pack my things, please? I'll call for
them on the way to the station. [<i>To <span class="smcap">John</span>.</i>] Do
you understand? I have no favors to ask of
you. You don't own your sister—she owns
herself.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>The scientist goes to church.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>with a loud laugh, turns to <span class="smcap">Lucy</span></i>]</p>
<p>Rather impertinent for a two-thousand-dollar
man, I think. [<i>Resumes breakfast, picks up
newspaper. <span class="smcap">Lucy</span> says nothing, attending to his<span class="pagenum">[Pg 118]</span>
wants solicitously.</i>] Bah! what does this highbrow
know about the power men of my sort
can use ... when we have to? [<i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span> cringes
dutifully in silence. <span class="smcap">John</span>, paper in one hand,
brusquely passes cup to <span class="smcap">Lucy</span> with other.</i>] Helen
got her own way about college, about work,
about living in her own apartment—but if she
thinks she can put <i>this</i> across! Humph! These
modern women must learn their place. [<i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span>,
smiling timidly, returns cup. <span class="smcap">John</span> takes it without
thanks, busied in newspapers. A look of resentment
creeps over <span class="smcap">Lucy's</span> pretty face, now that
he can't see her.</i>] Ah! I've got something up
my sleeve for that young woman. [<i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span> says
nothing, looks of contempt while he reads.</i>] Well,
why don't you say something?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>startled</i>]</p>
<p>I thought you didn't like me to talk at
breakfast, dear.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Think I like you to sit there like a mummy?
[<i>No reply.</i>] Haven't you <i>any</i>thing to say? [<i>Apparently
not.</i>] You never have any more, nothing
interesting.... Does it ever occur to you
that I'd like to be diverted?... No!<span class="pagenum">[Pg 119]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Yes.... Would you mind very much if ...
if I left you, John?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Left me? When—where—how long?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>gathering courage</i>]</p>
<p>Now—any place—entirely.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>bursts out laughing</i>]</p>
<p>What suddenly put <i>this</i> notion in your head?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>I'm sorry—John, but I've had it—oh, for
years. I never dared ask you till now.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>still glancing over paper</i>]</p>
<p>Like to leave me, would you?... You have
no grounds for divorce, my dear.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>But <i>you</i> will have—after I leave you.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 120]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>yawns</i>]</p>
<p>You have no lover to leave with.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>daintily</i>]</p>
<p>But couldn't I just desert you—without
anything horrid?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>reads</i>]</p>
<p>No money to desert with.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>springs up</i>—<i>at bay</i>]</p>
<p>You won't let me escape decently when I
tell you I don't want to stay? When I tell you
I can't stand being under your roof any longer?
When I tell you I'm sick of this life?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>gets up calmly</i>]</p>
<p>But, you see, I can stand it. I want you to
stay. I'm not sick of it. You belong to me.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>shrinking away as he approaches</i>]</p>
<p>Don't touch me! Every time you come near
me I have to nerve myself to stand it.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 121]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>What's got into you? Don't I give you everything
money can buy? My God, if I only gave
you something to worry about; if I ran after
other women like old man Baker——</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>If you only would!—Then you'd let <i>me</i>
alone. To me you are repulsive.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>taking hold of her</i>]</p>
<p>Lucy! You are my wife.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>looking him straight in the eye</i>]</p>
<p>But you don't respect me, and I—I hate
you—oh, how I hate you!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>holds her fast</i>]</p>
<p>I am your husband, your lawful husband.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>stops struggling</i>]</p>
<p>Yes, this is lawful—but, oh, what laws you
men have made for women!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>The <span class="smcap">Judge</span> comes out, carrying a telegram.</i></p>
<p><span class="pagenum">[Pg 122]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Rather early in the day for conjugal embraces,
if you should ask me. [<i><span class="smcap">John</span> and <span class="smcap">Lucy</span> separate.</i>]
Makes me quite sentimental and homesick.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Judge</span> raises telegram and kisses it.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>calming herself</i>]</p>
<p>From Aunt Julia again? Do you get telegrams
every day from Reno?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>No, but she caught cold. Went to the theatre
last night and caught a cold. So she wired me—naturally;
got the habit of telling me her
troubles, can't break it, even in Reno.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>I thought she hated the theatre!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>So she does, but I'm fond of it; she went for
my sake. She's got the habit of sacrificing herself
for me. Just as hard to break good habits
as bad.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>True women enjoy sacrificing themselves.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 123]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Yes, that's what we tell them. Well, we
ought to know. We make 'em do it. [<i>Brings out
a fountain pen and sits abruptly.</i>] That's what
I'll tell her. I can hear her laugh. You know
her laugh.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>rings for a servant</i>]</p>
<p>A telegraph blank?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>with a humorous expression he brings a whole
pad of telegraph blanks out of another
pocket</i>]</p>
<p>Carry them with me nowadays. [<i>Begins to
write.</i>] Wish I hadn't sold my Western Union,
John.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>I don't believe you want that divorce very
much.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>It doesn't matter what <i>I</i> want—what she
wants is the point. You must give the woman
you marry tutti-frutti, divorces—everything.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 124]</span>...
Why, I've got the habit myself, and God
knows I don't enjoy sacrifice—I'm a man!
The superior sex!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>I don't believe you appreciate that wife of
yours.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>between the words he's writing</i>]</p>
<p>Don't I? It isn't every wife that'd travel
away out to Reno—you know how she hates
travelling—and go to a theatre—and catch
a cold—and get a divorce—all for the sake
of an uncongenial husband. [<i>Suddenly getting
an idea, strikes table.</i>] I know what gave her a
cold. She raised all the windows in her bedroom—for
<i>my</i> sake!—I always kept them
down for <i>her</i> sake. I'll have to scold her. [<i>Bends
to his writing again.</i>] Poor little thing! She
doesn't know how to take care of herself without
me. I doubt if she ever will.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Looks over telegram. A <span class="smcap">Servant</span> comes,
takes telegram, and goes.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Uncle Everett, I want your advice.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 125]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>John! do <i>you</i> want a divorce?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>No, we are not that sort, are we, Lucy? [<i>No
answer.</i>] Are we, dear?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>after a pause</i>]</p>
<p>No, we are not that sort!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>We believe in the sanctity of the home, the
holiness of marriage.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Yes, we believe in—"the holiness of marriage!"</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Turns away, covering her face with her hands
and shuddering.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Lucy, tell Helen and Jean to come here.
[<i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span> goes.</i>] Well, young Baker spoke to me
about Jean last night. I told him I'd think it
over and give him my decision this morning.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 126]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>That's right. Mustn't seem too anxious, John.
When the properly qualified male offers one of
our dependent females a chance at woman's
only true career, of course it's up to us to look
disappointed.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>But I didn't bring up the little matter you
spoke of.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>About that chorus girl?... Afraid of scaring
him off?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Not at all, but—well, it's all over and it's
all fixed. No scandal, no blackmail.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Hum! By the way, got anything on Hamilton?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>I don't believe in saints myself.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 127]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>I see.... Good thing, for Jean Rex isn't a
saint. I suppose you'd break off the match.</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i><span class="smcap">Rex</span>, in riding clothes, comes out. <span class="smcap">John</span> salutes
him warmly. The <span class="smcap">Judge</span> is reading
the paper.</i></p>
</div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>not eagerly</i>]</p>
<p>Well?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Well, of course, you realize that you're asking
a great deal of me, Rex, but—[<i>Offers hand to
<span class="smcap">Rex</span> warmly.</i>] Be good to her, my boy, be good
to her.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>shaking hands, forced warmth</i>]</p>
<p>Thanks awfully. See-what-I-mean? [<i>To
<span class="smcap">Judge</span>.</i>] Congratulate me, Judge; I'm the happiest
of men.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>looking up from newspaper</i>]</p>
<p>So I see. Don't let it worry you.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Jean</span>, in riding costume, comes from the
house.</i></p>
<p><span class="pagenum">[Pg 128]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>signalling <span class="smcap">Judge</span> to leave</i>]</p>
<p>If Helen asks for me, I'm in the garden.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>If any telegrams come for me, I'm writing to
<i>my wife</i>!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Jean</span> and <span class="smcap">Rex</span> alone, they look at each other,
not very loverlike.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>impulsively</i>]</p>
<p>You weren't in love with me yesterday. You
aren't now. You would get out of it if you honorably
could. But you honorably <i>can't</i>! So you
have spoken to John; you are going to see it
through, because you're a good sport.... I
admire you for that, Rex, too much to hold
you to it. You are released.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>amazed</i>]</p>
<p>Why—why—you—you don't suppose I
want to be released?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>Well, I do!... Yesterday I let you pro<span class="pagenum">[Pg 129]</span>pose
to me when I cared for some one else.
That's not fair to you, to me, to him!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>in a sudden fury</i>]</p>
<p>Who is he? What do you mean by this? Why
didn't you tell me?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>I am telling you now. What have you ever
told me about yourself?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>blinking</i>]</p>
<p>You had no right to play fast and loose with
me.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>I'm making the only amends I can. You are
free, I tell you.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p>I don't want to be free! He can't have you!
You are mine! If you think you can make me
stop loving you——</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>interrupting</i>]</p>
<p>Love, Rex? Only jealousy. You've never been<span class="pagenum">[Pg 130]</span>
in love with me—you've always been in love
with Helen. But you couldn't get her, so you
took me. Isn't that true, Rex?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>after an uncomfortable pause</i>]</p>
<p>I'll be honest with you, too. Yesterday I
wasn't really very serious. I felt like a brute
afterward. You tried your best to prevent
what happened and ran away from me. But
now——</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>Don't you know why I ran away? To make
you follow. I made you catch me. I made you
kiss me. Then you realized that we had been
thrown together constantly—deliberately
thrown together, if you care to know it—and,
well, that's how many marriages are made.
But I shan't marry on such terms. It's indecent!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>another pause</i>]</p>
<p>I never thought a <i>woman</i> could be capable
of such honesty!... Oh, what a bully sport
you are! You aren't like the rest that have been
shoved at me. Why, I can respect you. You are
the one for me.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>He tries to take her.</i></p>
<p><span class="pagenum">[Pg 131]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>restraining him with dignity</i>]</p>
<p>I am sorry, Rex, but I am not for you.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p>Jean! without you ... don't you see—I'll
go straight to the devil!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>That old, cowardly dodge? Any man who has
no more backbone than that—why, I wouldn't
marry you if you were the last man in the world.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>frantic to possess what he cannot have</i>]</p>
<p>You won't, eh? We'll see about that. I want
you now as I never wanted anything in my life,
and I'll win you from him yet. You'll see!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Helen</span> now appears.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Oh, I beg your pardon. Lucy said John was
out here.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>I'll call him.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>She runs down into the garden.</i></p>
<p><span class="pagenum">[Pg 132]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p>I'll call him.</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He runs after <span class="smcap">Jean. Helen</span> helplessly
watches them go, sighs, standing by the garden
steps until <span class="smcap">John</span> ascends. He looks at
<span class="smcap">Helen</span> a moment, wondering how to begin.
She looks so capable and unafraid of him.</i></p>
</div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>If you hadn't gone to college, you could have
done what Jean is doing.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>with a shrug and a smile</i>]</p>
<p>But how proud you must be, John, to have
a sister who isn't compelled to marry one man
while in love with another. <i>Now</i>, aren't you
glad I went to college?</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>She laughs good-naturedly at him.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Humph! If you think I'd let a sister of mine
marry one of old man Baker's two-thousand-dollar
employees——</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Why, John, didn't Ernest tell you? Doctor<span class="pagenum">[Pg 133]</span>
Hawksbee has offered him a partnership. Just
think of that!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>What! Going back into private practice?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>But it's such a fashionable practice. Hawksbee's
made a million at it.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>But the institute needs Hamilton.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Ah, but we need the money!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>disconcerted</i>]</p>
<p>So you are going to spoil a noble career, are
you? That's selfish. I didn't think it of you.
There are thousands of successful physicians,
but there is only one Ernest Hamilton.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>laughs</i>]</p>
<p>Oh, don't worry, John, he has promised me
to keep his two-thousand-dollar job.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 134]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Ah, I'm glad. You must let nothing interfere
with his great humanitarian work. Think what
it means to the lives of little children! Think
what it means to the future of the race! Why,
every one says his greatest usefulness has hardly
begun!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Oh, I know all that, I've thought of all that.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Now, such men should be kept free from cares
and anxiety. What was it you said yesterday?
"He needs every cent of his salary for books,
travel, all the advantages he simply must have
for efficiency." To marry a poor man—most
selfish thing a girl could do!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Yes, John, that's what I said yesterday.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>scoring</i>]</p>
<p>But that was before he asked you! [<i><span class="smcap">Helen</span>
smiles. He sneers.</i>] Rather pleased with yourself
now, aren't you? "Just a woman after all"<span class="pagenum">[Pg 135]</span>—heroine
of cheap magazine story! Sacrifices
career for love!... All very pretty and romantic,
my dear—but how about the man you
love! Want to sacrifice his career, too?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>But I'm not going to sacrifice what you are
pleased to call my career.... Therefore he
won't have to sacrifice his.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>What! going to keep on working? Will he
let the woman he loves work!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>demure</i>]</p>
<p>Well, you see, he says I'm "too good" to loaf.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Humph! who'll take care of your home when
you're at work? Who'll take care of your work
when you're at home. Look at it practically.
To maintain such a home as he needs on such a
salary as he has—why, it would take all your
time, all your energy. To keep him in his class
you'll have to drop out of your own, become
a household drudge, a servant.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 136]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>And if I am willing?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Then where's your intellectual companionship?
How'll you help his work? Expense for
him, disillusionment for both. If you're the
woman you pretend to be, you won't marry
that man!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>strong</i>]</p>
<p>The world needs his work, but he needs mine,
and we both need each other.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>stronger</i>]</p>
<p>And marriage would only handicap his work,
ruin yours, and put you apart. You know that's
true. You've seen it happen with others. You
have told me so yourself!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Then that settles it! We must not, cannot,
shall not marry. We have no right to marry. I
agree with all you say—it would not join us
together; it would put us asunder.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 137]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>And you'll give him up? Good! Good!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Give him up? Never! The right to work, the
right to love—those rights are inalienable.
No, we'll give up marriage but not each other.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>But—but—I don't understand.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>straight in his eyes</i>]</p>
<p>We need each other—in our work and in
our life—and we're to have each other—until
life is ended and our work is done. Now, do
you understand?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>recoiling</i>]</p>
<p>Are you in your right mind? Think what
you're saying.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>I have thought all night, John. You have
shown me how to say it.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 138]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>But, but—why, this is utterly unbelievable!
Why I'm not even shocked. Do you notice?
I'm not even shocked? Because everything you
have said, everything you have done—it all
proves that you are a good woman.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>If I were a bad woman, I'd inveigle him into
marriage, John.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Inveigle! Marriage! Are you crazy? ... Oh,
this is all one of your highbrow jokes!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>John, weren't you serious when you said
marriage would destroy him?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>But this would destroy <i>you</i>!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Well, even if that were so, which is more important
to the world? Which is more important
to your "great humanitarian work"?<span class="pagenum">[Pg 139]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Ah, very clever! A bluff to gain my consent
to marrying him—a trick to get his salary
raised.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>with force</i>]</p>
<p>John, nothing you can do, nothing you can
say, will ever gain my consent to marrying him.
I've not told you half my reasons.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>My God! my own sister! And did you, for
one moment, dream that I would consent to
that!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Not for one moment. I'm not asking your consent.
I'm just telling you.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>after scrutinizing her</i>]</p>
<p>Ridiculous! If you really meant to run away
with this fellow, would you come and tell <i>me</i>,
your own brother?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Do you suppose I'd <i>run</i> away without telling,
even my own brother?<span class="pagenum">[Pg 140]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>looks at her a moment; she returns his gaze</i>]</p>
<p>Bah!—all pose and poppycock! [<i>He abruptly
touches bell.</i>] I'll soon put a stop to this nonsense.
[<i>Muttering.</i>] Damnedest thing I ever heard of.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>John, I understand exactly what I'm doing.
You never will. But nothing you can do can
stop me now.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>We'll see about that. [<i>The <span class="smcap">Butler</span> appears.</i>]
Ask the others to step out here at once; all
except Miss Jean and Mr. Baker, I don't want
them. Is Doctor Hamilton about?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Butler</span></p>
<p>No, sir, he went to church.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>All right. [<i>The <span class="smcap">Butler</span> disappears.</i>] To church!
My God!</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i><span class="smcap">Helen</span> pays no attention. She gazes straight
out into the future, head high, eyes clear
and wide open.</i></p>
</div>
<p><span class="pagenum">[Pg 141]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>First of all, when the others come out, I'm
going to ask them to look you in the face. Then
you can make this statement to them, if you
wish, and—look them in the face.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>with quiet scorn</i>]</p>
<p>If I were being forced into such a marriage
as poor little Jean's, I would kill myself. But
in the eyes of God, who made love, no matter
how I may appear in the eyes of man,
who made marriage, I know that I am doing
right.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span> comes out, followed by the <span class="smcap">Judge</span>.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>not seeing them. He is loud</i>]</p>
<p>Say that to Uncle Everett and Cousin Theodore!
Say that to my wife, stand up and say
that to the world, if you dare.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>to <span class="smcap">Judge</span></i>]</p>
<p>She has told him!<span class="pagenum">[Pg 142]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>wheeling about</i>]</p>
<p>What! did she tell you? Why didn't you
come to me at once?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>tremulous</i>]</p>
<p>She said she wanted to tell you herself. I
didn't think she'd dare!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>They all turn to look at <span class="smcap">Helen. Theodore</span>
comes back from church alone.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>It had to be announced, of course.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>advancing, beaming</i>]</p>
<p>Announced? What is announced?</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>All turn to him in a panic.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>hurriedly</i>]</p>
<p>Their engagement, Theodore!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>overriding <span class="smcap">Helen</span></i>]</p>
<p>Yes, John has given his consent at last—example
to society.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Prods <span class="smcap">John</span>.</i></p>
<p><span class="pagenum">[Pg 143]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>also overrides <span class="smcap">Helen</span></i>]</p>
<p>Of course! One of the finest fellows in the
world.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>delighted</i>]</p>
<p>And withal he has a deep religious nature.
Congratulations. My dear, he'll make an ideal
husband.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Takes both <span class="smcap">Helen's</span> hands, about to kiss
her.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>can't help smiling</i>]</p>
<p>Thank you, cousin, but I don't want a
husband.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>A sudden silence.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>looks from one to the other</i>]</p>
<p>A lover's quarrel?—already!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>enjoying it</i>]</p>
<p>No, Theodore, these lovers are in perfect accord.
They both have conscientious scruples
against marriage.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 144]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Conscientious!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>So they are simply going to set up housekeeping
without the mere formality of a wedding
ceremony.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Theodore</span> drops <span class="smcap">Helen's</span> hands.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>quietly</i>]</p>
<p>We are going to do nothing of the sort.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Uncle Everett!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Takes her hands again.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>We are not going to set up housekeeping at
all. He will keep his present quarters and I mine.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>But they are going to belong to each other.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>drops <span class="smcap">Helen's</span> hands—aghast</i>]</p>
<p>I don't believe it.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 145]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>apart to <span class="smcap">Theodore</span></i>]</p>
<p>The strike against marriage. It was bound to
come.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>to <span class="smcap">Judge</span></i>]</p>
<p>But Church and State—[<i>indicates self and
<span class="smcap">Judge</span></i>] must break this strike.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>John is a practical man. He will prove to
you that such a home as we could afford would
only be a stumbling-block to Ernest's usefulness,
a hollow sphere for mine. You can't fill it
with mere happiness, Lucy, not for long, not
for long.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>restrains <span class="smcap">Theodore</span> about to reply</i>]</p>
<p>Oh, let her get it all nicely talked out, then
she'll take a nap and wake up feeling better.
[<i>Whispering.</i>] We've driven her to this ourselves,
but she really doesn't mean a word of it.
Come, dear child, tell us all about this nightmare.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 146]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>smiles at the <span class="smcap">Judge</span></i>]</p>
<p>Why, think what would happen to an eager
intellect like Ernest Hamilton's if he had to
come back to a narrow-minded apartment or a
dreary suburb every evening and eat morbid
meals opposite a housewife regaling him with
the social ambitions of the other commuters.
Ugh! It has ruined enough brilliant men already.
[<i><span class="smcap">Judge</span> restrains <span class="smcap">Theodore</span> and others who want
to interrupt.</i>] Now at the University Club he
dines, at slight expense compared with keeping
up a home, upon the best food in the city with
some of the best scientists in the country....
Marriage would divorce him from all that,
would transplant him from an atmosphere of
ideas into an atmosphere of worries. We should
be forced into the same deadly ruts as the rest
of you, uncle. Do you want me to destroy a
great career, Theodore?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Do you want to be a blot upon that career?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>lightly</i>]</p>
<p>I'd rather be a blot than a blight, and that's
what I'd be if I became his bride. Ask John.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 147]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Do you want to be disgraced, despised, ostracized!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>smiles at <span class="smcap">Lucy</span></i>]</p>
<p>A choice of evils, dear; of course, none of
those costly well-kept wives on your visiting
list will call upon me. But instead of one day at
home, instead of making a tired husband work
for me, I'll have all my days free to work with
him, like the old-fashioned woman you admire!
Instead of being an expense, I'll be a help to
him; instead of being separated by marriage
and divergent interests, we'll be united by love
and common peril.... Isn't that the orthodox
way to gain character, Theodore?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Oh, this is all damned nonsense! Look here,
you've either got to marry this fellow now or
else go away and never see him again; never,
never!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Just what I thought, John. I intended never
to see him again. That was why I let you send
me abroad. But I'll never, never do it again.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 148]</span>
[<i>Smiling like an engaged girl.</i>] It was perfectly
dreadful! Ernest couldn't get along without me
at all, poor old thing. And I, why, I nearly died.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Then you'll have to be married, that's all.</p>
<p><span class="smcap">The Others</span></p>
<p>Why, of course you'll have to, that's all.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>nodding</i>]</p>
<p>Oh, I know just how you feel about it. I
thought so, too, at first, but I can't marry
Ernest Hamilton. I love him.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>But if you love him truly—marriage, my
dear, brings together those who love each other
truly.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>But those who love each other truly don't
need anything to bring them together. The
difficulty is to keep apart.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>A reminiscent shudder.</i></p>
<p><span class="pagenum">[Pg 149]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>That's all romantic rot! Every one feels that
way at first.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>At first! Then the practical object of marriage
is not to bring together those who love each
other, but to keep together those who do not?
[<i>To <span class="smcap">Lucy</span>.</i>] What a dreadful thing marriage
must be!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Judge</span> chokes down a chuckle.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Ah, so you wish to be free to separate. Now
we have it.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>To separate? What an idea! On the contrary,
we wish to be free to keep together! In the old
days when they had interests in common marriage
used to make man and woman one, but
now it puts them apart. Can't you see it all
about you? He goes down-town and works; she
stays up-town and plays. He belongs to the
laboring class; she belongs to the leisure class.
At best, they seldom work at the same or similar
trades. Legally it may be a union, but
socially it's a mésalliance—in the eyes of God
it's often worse.... No wonder that one in<span class="pagenum">[Pg 150]</span>
eleven ends in divorce. The only way to avoid
spiritual separation is to shun legal union like a
contagious disease. Modern marriage <i>is</i> divorce.
[<i>She turns to go, defiantly.</i>] I've found my work,
I've found my mate, and so has he! What more
can any human being ask?</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>The <span class="smcap">Butler</span> appears.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Butler</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>to <span class="smcap">John</span></i>]</p>
<p>Doctor Hamilton is outside in a taxicab, sir.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Show him here at once!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Butler</span></p>
<p>He says he does not care to come in, sir,
unless you are ready to talk to him now.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Well, of all the nerve! You bet I'm ready!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Starts off. <span class="smcap">Helen</span> starts, too.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>intercepting them calmly</i>]</p>
<p>Wait a minute—wait a minute. [<i>To <span class="smcap">Servant</span>.</i>]
Ask Doctor Hamilton kindly to wait in<span class="pagenum">[Pg 151]</span>
the library. [<i>The <span class="smcap">Butler</span> goes.</i>] Now, we're all
a bit overwrought. [<i>Soothes <span class="smcap">Helen</span>, pats her
hand, puts arm about her, gradually leads her
back.</i>] I still believe in you, Helen, I still believe
in him. [<i>To all.</i>] It's simply that he's so deeply
absorbed in his great work for mankind that he
doesn't realize what he is asking Helen to do.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>quietly</i>]</p>
<p>So I told him ... when he asked me to
marry him.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">All</span></p>
<p>What! He <i>asked</i> you to <i>marry</i> him?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Of course! <i>Implored</i> me to marry him. [<i>She
adds, smiling.</i>] So absorbed—not in mankind,
but in me—that he "didn't realize what he
was asking me to do."</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>utterly amazed</i>]</p>
<p>And you refused him! The man who loves
you honorably?<span class="pagenum">[Pg 152]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>demurely</i>]</p>
<p>Of course! You don't suppose I'd take advantage
of the poor fellow's weakness. Women
often do, I admit—even when not in love,
sometimes.... Not because they're depraved
but dependent.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>to all</i>]</p>
<p>And then he proposed this wicked substitute!
Poisoned her innocent mind—the bounder!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>But he did nothing of the sort.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Oh, your own idea, was it?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Of course!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>to all</i>]</p>
<p>And he is willing to take advantage of the
poor child's ignorance—the cad! [<i>To <span class="smcap">Theodore</span>.</i>]
"Deep religious nature," eh?<span class="pagenum">[Pg 153]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>I can't believe it of him.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>He knows nothing about it yet. I haven't
even seen him since I made my decision.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>All exchange bewildered glances.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>apart to <span class="smcap">Judge</span></i>]</p>
<p>We've got to get him off to Paris. It's our
only hope.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>apart to <span class="smcap">John</span></i>]</p>
<p>You can't stop her following. She's on the
edge of the precipice—do you want to shove
her over? You are dealing with big people here
and a big passion.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>The <span class="smcap">Butler</span> returns.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Butler</span></p>
<p>Doctor Hamilton asks to see Miss Helen
while waiting.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>calmly to <span class="smcap">Butler</span></i>]</p>
<p>Tell Doctor Hamilton that Miss Helen will
see him here.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>The <span class="smcap">Butler</span> leaves.</i></p>
<p><span class="pagenum">[Pg 154]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Are you crazy! We've got to keep 'em apart—our
one chance to save her.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>No, bring them together. <i>That</i> is our one
chance. Come, we'll go down into the garden
and they'll have a nice little talk. Nothing like
talk, John, honest talk, to clear these marriage
problems.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Going.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>And let them elope? In that taxicab?—not
on your life!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Runs to and fro.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Come, John, girls never notify the family in
advance when they plan elopements. It's not
done.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>going</i>]</p>
<p>Uncle Everett is right. Ernest will bring her
to her senses. He <i>has</i> a deep religious nature.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Judge</span> leads <span class="smcap">John</span> away to the garden.</i></p>
<p><span class="pagenum">[Pg 155]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>lingering—to <span class="smcap">Helen</span></i>]</p>
<p>If you offer yourself on such terms to the man
who loves you honorably, he'll never look at
you again.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>leading <span class="smcap">Lucy</span> off to garden</i>]</p>
<p>Don't worry! She won't.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Ernest</span> rushes out to <span class="smcap">Helen</span>.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Ernest!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>At last! [<i>He takes her in his arms; she clings
to him and gazes into his eyes; a long embrace.</i>]
Tell me that you're all right again.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>smiling with love and trust</i>]</p>
<p>Except that you deserted me, dear, just when
I needed you most. Ernest, Ernest! never leave
me again.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>Deserted you? Why, your brother said you
were ill.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 156]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Ah, I see ... he was mistaken.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>jubilant and boyish</i>]</p>
<p>But never mind now, I've got you at last, and
I'll never, never let you go. You've got to sail
with me to-morrow. Together! Oh, think! Together.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Another embrace.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Are you <i>sure</i> you love me?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>laughs from sheer joy of her nearness</i>]</p>
<p>Am I sure? Ten million times more to-day
than yesterday.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Even so ... it is not, and can never be,
as I love you.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>with her hands in his, gayly</i>]</p>
<p>Then you can apologize.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Apologize?<span class="pagenum">[Pg 157]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>For saying, years and years ago—in other
words, last night—that you didn't think you'd
marry me after all. [<i>She starts.</i>] Why, what's
the matter? You're trembling like a leaf. You
<i>are</i> ill!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>No; oh, no.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>tenderly</i>]</p>
<p>Still a few lingering doubts? I had hoped a
good night's rest would put those little prejudices
to sleep forever.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Sleep?</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>She shakes her head, gazing at him soberly.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>So you could not sleep? Neither could I; I
was too happy to sleep. I was afraid I'd miss
some wondrous throbbing thought of your
loveliness. [<i>Takes her passive hand, puts a kiss
in it, and closes it reverently while she looks into
his eyes without moving.</i>] Do you know, I'm dis<span class="pagenum">[Pg 158]</span>appointed
in love. I always thought it meant
soft sighs and pretty speeches. It means an
agony of longing, delicious agony, but, oh, terrific.
[<i>She says nothing.</i>] Dear, dear girl, it may
be easy for you, but I can't stand much more
of this.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Nor I.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>You must come to Paris with me or I'll stay
home. All through the night I had waking
visions of our being parted. Just when we had
found each other at last. Some terrible impersonal
monster stepped in between us and said:
"No. Now that you have had your glimpse of
heaven—away! Ye twain shall not enter
here...." Silly, wasn't it? But I couldn't get
the horror of it out of my head.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>nodding</i>]</p>
<p>Do you know why, Ernest? Because it was
in mine. It came from my thought to yours.
You and I are attuned like wireless instruments.
Even in the old blind days, there in the laboratory
I used to read your mind. Shall I tell you<span class="pagenum">[Pg 159]</span>
the name of the monster that would put us
asunder?... Its name is Marriage.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>But I need you. You know that. And you
need me. It's too late. We are helpless now—in
the clutch of forces more potent than our little
selves—forces that brought us into the world—forces
that have made the world. Whether
you will or no, this beautiful binding power is
sweeping you and me together. And you must
yield.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>reaching for his hand</i>]</p>
<p>Ah, my dear, could anything make it more
beautiful, more binding than it is now?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>It is perfect. The one divine thing we share
with God. The Church is right in that respect.
I used to look upon marriage as a mere contract.
It's a religious sacrament.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Does the wedding ceremony make it sacred?<span class="pagenum">[Pg 160]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>That mediæval incantation! No, love, which
is given by God, not the artificial form made
by man.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>I knew it! I knew you'd see it—the mistake
of all the ages. They've tried to make love fit
marriage. It can't be done. Marriage must be
changed to fit love. [<i>Impulsively.</i>] Yes, I'll go to
Paris with you.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>about to take her in his arms</i>]</p>
<p>You darling!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>steps back</i>]</p>
<p>But not as your wife.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>stops—perplexed</i>]</p>
<p>You mean ... without marriage?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>I mean without marriage.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>They look into each other's eyes.</i></p>
<p><span class="pagenum">[Pg 161]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>A moment ago I thought I loved you as much
as man could love woman. I was mistaken in
you—I was mistaken in myself. For now I
love you as man never loved before. You superb,
you wonderful woman!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>holds out her hand to be shaken, not caressed</i>]</p>
<p>Then you agree?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>kneels, kisses her hand, and arises</i>]</p>
<p>Of course not! You blessed girl, don't you
suppose I understand? It's all for my sake.
Therefore for your sake—no.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Then for my sake—for the sake of everything
our love stands for!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>laughing fondly</i>]</p>
<p>Do you think I'd let you do anything for anybody's
sake you're sure, later, to regret?<span class="pagenum">[Pg 162]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Then don't ask me to marry you, Ernest.
We'd both regret that later. It would destroy
the two things that have brought us together,
love and work.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>Nonsense. Nothing could do that.... And
besides, think of our poor horrified families!
Think of the world's view!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Aren't we sacrificing enough for the world—money,
comforts, even children? Must we also
sacrifice each other to the world? Must we be
hypocrites because others are? Must we, too,
be cowards and take on the protective coloring
of our species?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>Our ideas may be higher than society's, but
society rewards and punishes its members according
to its own ideas, not ours.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Do you want society's rewards? Do you fear
society's punishment?<span class="pagenum">[Pg 163]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>jubilantly enfolding her</i>]</p>
<p>With you in my arms, I want nothing from
heaven, I fear nothing from hell; but, my dear
[<i>shrugs and comes down to earth with a smile and
releases her</i>], consider the price, consider the
price.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Aren't you willing to pay the price?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>I? Yes! But it's the woman, always the
woman, who pays.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>I am willing to pay.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>I am not willing to let you.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>You'll have to be, dear. I shall go with you
on my terms or not at all.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>with decision</i>]</p>
<p>You will come with me as my wife or stay at
home.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 164]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>gasping</i>]</p>
<p>Now? After all I've said, all I've done?
Ernest: I've told the family! I relied upon you.
I took for granted—Ernest, you wouldn't—you
couldn't leave me behind now.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>Thanks to you and what you've made of me,
I must and will.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Ernest!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Opens her arms to him to take her.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>about to enfold her—resists</i>]</p>
<p>No! If you love me enough for that [<i>points
to her pleading hands</i>]—I love you enough for
this. [<i>He turns to go.</i>] Come when you're ready
to marry me.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>shrill, excited, angered</i>]</p>
<p>Do you think this has been easy for me?
Do you think I'll offer myself again on any
terms? Never!<span class="pagenum">[Pg 165]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>You must marry me—and you will.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>You don't know me. Good-by!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>Very well!</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i><span class="smcap">Ernest</span>, afraid to stay, goes at once. She
waits motionless until she hears the automobile
carrying him away. She immediately
turns from stone to tears, with a
low wail. In utter despair, hands outstretched
she sinks down upon a bench
and buries her face in her hands.</i></p>
</div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Oh, Ernest!... How could you?</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span>, <span class="smcap">Theodore</span>, <span class="smcap">Judge</span> and <span class="smcap">John</span> all
hurry back, all excited.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Did you see his horrified look?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Fairly running away—revolted. Ah!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Points at <span class="smcap">Helen. Helen</span> arises, defiant,
confident, calm.</i></p>
<p><span class="pagenum">[Pg 166]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>to <span class="smcap">Helen</span></i>]</p>
<p>What did I tell you!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>You have thrown away the love of an honorable
man.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Trampled upon the finest feelings of a deep
nature.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Let this be a lesson to you. You've lost your
chance to marry, your chance to work, and now,
by heavens! you will cut out "independence"
and stay at home, <i>where women belong</i>, and live
down this disgrace ... if you can.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>With one excuse or another—he'll stay
away. He'll never come back.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>clear and confident as if clairvoyant</i>]</p>
<p>He will! He is coming now.... He is<span class="pagenum">[Pg 167]</span>
crossing the hall.... He is passing through
the library.... He's here!</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>But she doesn't turn. <span class="smcap">Ernest</span> reappears at
the door and takes in the situation at a
glance.</i></p>
</div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>still turned toward <span class="smcap">Helen</span></i>]</p>
<p>He'll never look at you again, and I don't
blame him! I'm a man; I know. We don't respect
women who sell out so cheap.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>You lie! [<i>All turn, astounded. <span class="smcap">Helen</span> runs
toward <span class="smcap">Ernest</span> with a cry of joy. <span class="smcap">John</span> starts to
block her. To <span class="smcap">John</span>.</i>] Stop! You're not fit to
touch her. No man is.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>with a sarcastic laugh</i>]</p>
<p>Humph! I suppose that's why you ran away.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>Yes. To protect her from myself.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Then why come back?<span class="pagenum">[Pg 168]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>To protect her from you! You cowards, you
hypocrites! [<i>He rushes down to <span class="smcap">Helen</span>, puts his
strong arm about shoulder and whispers rapidly.</i>]
Just as I started, something stopped me. In a
flash I saw ... all this.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>clasping his arm with both hands</i>]</p>
<p>I made you come! I made you see!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>advances menacingly</i>]</p>
<p>By what right are you here in my home? By
what right do you take my sister in your arms?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>By a right more ancient than man-made law!
I have come to the cry of my mate. I'm here to
fight for the woman I love! [<i>Arm about <span class="smcap">Helen</span>,
defies the world. To all.</i>] My trip to Paris is postponed.
One week from to-day gather all your
family here, and in your home we'll make our
declaration to the world.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>In my home! Ha! Not if I know it.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 169]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>restraining <span class="smcap">John</span></i>]</p>
<p>Play for time, John—he'll bring her around.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>to <span class="smcap">Ernest</span></i>]</p>
<p>Do you mean to marry her or not? Speak my
language!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Ernest</span> releases <span class="smcap">Helen</span> and steps across
to <span class="smcap">John</span>.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p><i>She</i> decides that—not you.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>All turn to <span class="smcap">Helen</span>.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Never!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>shaking off <span class="smcap">Judge</span>. To <span class="smcap">Helen</span>.</i>]</p>
<p>You'll go with this damned fanatic only over
my dead body.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>high</i>]</p>
<p>And that will only cry aloud the thing you
wish to hide from the world you fear.</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Just now <span class="smcap">Jean</span> is seen slowly returning
from the garden without <span class="smcap">Rex</span>. Her pretty<span class="pagenum">[Pg 170]</span>
head is bent and, busy with her own sad
thoughts, she is startled by the following:</i></p>
</div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>There are laws to prevent marriage in some
cases but none to enforce marriage on women—unless
they will it.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>beside himself with rage</i>]</p>
<p>Enforce! Do you think I'll ever <i>allow</i> a sister
of mine to marry a libertine?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>thinks they are discussing her, and is outraged</i>]</p>
<p>But I'm not going to marry him! My engagement
is broken.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>General consternation. Sobbing, <span class="smcap">Jean</span> runs
into house.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>My God, what next? Lucy, don't let Rex get
away! You know what he'll do—and when he
sobers up, it may be too late. [<i>To <span class="smcap">Ernest</span>.</i>] As
for you, you snake, you get right out of here.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 171]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>in the sudden silence</i>]</p>
<p>Now you've done it, John.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>Oh, very well, this is your property.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>But <i>I</i> am not! I go, too!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>She runs to <span class="smcap">Ernest</span>.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Don't commit this sin!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Let her go! She's no sister of mine.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>the only calm one</i>]</p>
<p>If she leaves this house now, it's all up.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>A woman who will give herself to a man without
marriage is no sister of mine.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 172]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>about to go, turns, leaning on <span class="smcap">Ernest</span>. To all</i>]</p>
<p>Give!... But if I <i>sold</i> myself, as you are
forcing poor little Jean to do, to a libertine she
does not love, who does not love her—that
is not sin! That is respectability! To urge and
aid her to entrap a man into marriage by playing
the shameless tricks of the only trade men
want women to learn—that is holy matrimony.
But to give yourself of your own free will to
the man you love and trust and can help, the
man who loves and needs and has won the
right to have you—oh, if this is sin, then let
me live and die a sinner!</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>She turns to <span class="smcap">Ernest</span>, gives him a look of complete
love and trust, then bursts into tears
upon his shoulder, his arms enfolding her
protectingly.</i></p>
</div>
<hr style="width: 65%;" />
<p><span class="pagenum">[Pg 173]</span></p>
<h1><span class="smcap">Act III</span></h1>
<p><span class="pagenum">[Pg 174]</span></p>
<hr style="width: 65%;" />
<p><span class="pagenum">[Pg 175]</span></p>
<h2><span class="smcap">Act III</span></h2>
<div class="pblockquot"><p><i>It is well along in the afternoon of the same busy
day of rest. Most unaccountably—until the
<span class="smcap">Judge</span> accounts for it later—the terrace has
been decked out with festoons and flowers
since the excitement of the morning. Japanese
lanterns have been hung, though it is not
yet time to light them and though it is Sunday
in a pious household.</i></p>
<p><i>Most incongruously and lugubriously, <span class="smcap">Lucy</span> is
pacing to and fro in silent concern.</i></p>
<p><i><span class="smcap">Theodore</span> now comes out of the house, also looking
harassed. Lucy turns to him inquiringly.
He shakes his head sadly.</i></p>
</div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>No word from Uncle Everett?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>No word. He must have reached town long
ago, unless he had tire trouble.... It's a bad
sign, Lucy, a bad sign. He would surely telephone
us.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 176]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Oh, if he <i>only</i> hadn't missed their train!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>hopelessly</i>]</p>
<p>Uncle Everett is the only one who could have
brought them to their senses.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>It may not be too late. He took our fastest
car, our best chauffeur.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Detectives are to watch all the steamers to-morrow.
John telephoned at once.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>But to-morrow will be too late! And, oh!
when it all comes out in the newspapers! The
ghastly head-lines—"well-known scientist,
beautiful daughter of a prominent family!"
Oh! What will people say?</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">John</span>, hurried and worried, rushes out shouting
for <span class="smcap">Lucy</span>.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Any news? Any news? [<i><span class="smcap">Theodore</span> and <span class="smcap">Lucy<span class="pagenum">[Pg 177]</span></span>
give him gestures of despair.</i>] Then it's too late.
[<i>He, too, paces to and fro in fury. Then bracing
up.</i>] Well, I found Rex, over at the Golf Club.
Terribly cut up. But listen; not a drink, not
one!... Where's Jean? Got to see her at
once.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Locked herself up in her room, John, crying
her little heart out!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Rex is a changed man, I tell you. We've got
to patch it up, and we've got to do it <i>quick</i>!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>But, John! When the Bakers hear about
Helen ... Rex marry into our family? Never!
We're disgraced, John, disgraced!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>impatiently</i>]</p>
<p>But they're not <i>going</i> to hear about Helen.
No one knows, and no one <i>will</i>. Helen has simply
returned to Paris to complete her scientific
research. My press-agent—he's attending to
all that.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 178]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>But questions, gossip, rumor—it's bound
to come out in time!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>In time; but meanwhile, if Jean marries Rex,
the Bakers will <i>have</i> to stand for it. What's
more, they'll make <i>other</i> people stand for it.
Backed by the Bakers, no one will <i>dare</i> turn
us down.... Our position in the world, my
business relations with the old man—<i>everything
hangs on little Jean</i> now. Tell her I've simply
got to see her. [<i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span> hesitates.</i>] Hurry! Rex
is coming over later. [<i>He catches sight of the
table, festoons, etc.</i>] Heavens! What's all this
tomfoolery?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>going</i>]</p>
<p>Uncle Everett's orders—he wouldn't stop to
explain. He left word to summon the whole
family for dinner.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span> goes.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>shrilly</i>]</p>
<p>The whole family!... To-day of all days!<span class="pagenum">[Pg 179]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>John! You must not, shall not, force Jean to
marry this man.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>unappreciated</i>]</p>
<p>Haven't I done everything for my sisters?
Can't they even <i>marry</i> for <i>me</i>?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>The man she loves or none at all.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>That cub at the law school? No money to
keep a wife, no prospects of any. His father's a
college professor.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>shaking head sadly</i>]</p>
<p>"No love without marriage, no marriage
without—money!" Ernest Hamilton's words
this morning, when we walked to church.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>watching house expectantly</i>]</p>
<p>Survival of the fittest, Theodore, survival of
the fittest.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 180]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>The fittest for what?—for making money!
the only kind of fitness encouraged to survive,
to reproduce its species.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>If the ability to make money is not the test
of fitness, what is?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Then you are more fit than a hundred Hamiltons,
are you? And Rex? How fit is he? Rex
never made a cent in his life.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>He's got it, all the same.... See here! Haven't
I enough to worry me without your butting in?
Jean's got to marry <i>some</i>body, <i>some</i>time, hasn't
she?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>But not Rex, not if I can prevent it.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>But you can't—you have nothing to do
with it ... except to perform the ceremony
and get a big, fat fee for it.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 181]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>I—marry Jean and Rex? Never!</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i><span class="smcap">Jean</span> comes out. She is frightened and turns
timidly to <span class="smcap">Theodore</span> for protection.</i></p>
</div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Jean, don't detain Theodore. He has an important
business letter to write. [<i><span class="smcap">Theodore</span>
turns to <span class="smcap">John</span> indignantly.</i>] Your wife's sanatorium
bills—better settle up before they dun
you again.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>With your money?</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Takes <span class="smcap">John's</span> check out of pocket, about to
tear it.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>catching <span class="smcap">Theodore's</span> hand</i>]</p>
<p>For Mary's sake, for the children's—don't
give way to selfish pride.... Want to kill
your wife? Then take her out of the sanatorium.
Want to ruin your children? Then take them
out of school!... Cash your check, I tell you,
and pay your debts!</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i><span class="smcap">Theodore</span> glances at <span class="smcap">Jean</span>, at check. A
struggle. At bay, he finally pockets check
and dejectedly goes into the house.</i></p>
</div>
<p><span class="pagenum">[Pg 182]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>with a wet handkerchief in hand</i>]</p>
<p>Well? If I refuse to marry Rex?... Cut
off my allowance or merely bully me to death?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>kindly</i>]</p>
<p>Oh, come! You've filled your romantic little
head full of novels. I never force <i>any</i>body to do
<i>any</i>thing. [<i>Suddenly breaks out.</i>] My heavens!
what's the matter with all of you? I only want
to give you and Lucy and Helen and Theodore
and the whole family the best of everything in
life! And what do I get for it? I'm a brutal
husband, a bullying brother, and a malefactor
of wealth. Lord! I guess I have some rights,
even if I have got money!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>Rex has money, too. Should that give him the
right to women? I, too, have some rights—even
though I <i>am</i> a woman.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Any woman who can't care enough for a
Baker to marry him—Rex is the sort who<span class="pagenum">[Pg 183]</span>
would do everything in the world for the
woman he loves, everything. All the Bakers are
like that.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>But what would he do for the woman he no
longer loves?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>He wasn't fool enough to tell you about that?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>About what?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>halting</i>]</p>
<p>Nothing—I thought—I tell you, Rex has
reformed.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>You thought I meant his "past." I meant
his future ... and my own.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Well, if you expect to find a saint, you'll
never get married at all.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>And if I never married at all?<span class="pagenum">[Pg 184]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p><i>Then</i> what will you do?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>with a wail of despair</i>]</p>
<p>That's it—then what <i>should</i> I do—what
<i>could</i> I do? Oh, it's so unfair, so unfair to train
girls only for this! What chance, what choice
have I? To live on the bounty of a disapproving
brother or a man I do not love! Oh, how
I envy Helen! If I only had a chance, a decent
chance!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Any sensible girl would envy your chance.
You'll never have another like it. You'll never
have another at all! Grab it, I tell you, grab it.
[<i><span class="smcap">Rex</span> comes quietly, a determined look on his face,
<span class="smcap">John</span> sees him.</i>] Now, think, before too late,
think hard. Think what it means to be an old
maid.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>And leaves them abruptly.</i></p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i><span class="smcap">Jean</span> stands alone, looking very pretty in
girlish distress. <span class="smcap">Rex</span> gazes at her a moment
and then with sudden passion he
silently rushes over, seizes her in his arms,
kisses her furiously.</i></p>
</div>
<p><span class="pagenum">[Pg 185]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>indignant, struggles, frees herself, and rubs her
cheek</i>]</p>
<p>Ugh! How could you!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p>Because I love you!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>Love! It isn't even respect now.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p>Has that fellow ever kissed you?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>I have begged you never to refer to him
again.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p>He has! He has held you in his arms. He has
kissed your lips, your cheeks, your eyes!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>How many women have you held in your
arms? Have I ever tried to find out?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p>Ah! You don't deny it, you can't.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 186]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>I can! <i>He</i> respects me. I don't deserve it, but
he does.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p>Thank heavens! Oh, you don't know how
this has tormented me, little Jean. The thought
of any other man's coming near you—why, I
couldn't have felt the same toward you again,
I just couldn't.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>bites her lips—then deliberately</i>]</p>
<p>Well, then ... other men have come near
me ... other men have kissed me, Rex.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>getting wild again</i>]</p>
<p>What! When? Where?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>laughing cynically</i>]</p>
<p>Oh, in conservatories in town, John's camp
in the North Woods, motor rides in the country—once
or twice out here on this very terrace,
when I've felt sentimental in the moonlight.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 187]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>recoiling</i>]</p>
<p>Oh! Jean! I never supposed <i>you</i> were that
sort!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>with distaste</i>]</p>
<p>Oh, I don't make a habit of it! I'm not <i>that</i>
sort. But ... well, this isn't all I could tell
you about myself, Rex.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p>Don't!... Oh, what do you mean—quick.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>Oh, I've merely been handled, not hurt.
Slightly shop-worn but as good as new.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>after a pause, quietly</i>]</p>
<p>Jean, what makes you say such horribly honest
things to me?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>Yesterday I did you a great unkindness, Rex.
I deserve to suffer for it.... You don't suppose
I enjoy talking this way about myself?<span class="pagenum">[Pg 188]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p>I never heard a girl—a nice girl—talk like
this before.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>Naturally not. Usually "nice" girls hide it.
It's an instinct in women—to keep up their
value.... Often I've had thoughts and feelings
which "nice" girls of your artificial ideal
are supposed never to have at all. Perfectly natural,
too, especially girls of my sort. We have so
little to occupy our minds, except men! To have
a useful, absorbing occupation—it rubs off
the bloom, lowers our price in the market, you
see.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p>Oh, stop!... If you're not going to marry
me, say so, but——</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>But I am!... I am not going to be a dependent
old maid. [<i><span class="smcap">Rex</span>, bewildered, only gazes
at her.</i>] But, first, I want you to know exactly
what you're getting for your money. That seems
only businesslike.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>recoils</i>]</p>
<p>Would you only marry me for that?<span class="pagenum">[Pg 189]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>I told you I loved another man. Do you want
me?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>with jealousy returning</i>]</p>
<p>Do I want you! He shan't have you.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>He comes close.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>Then take me.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>seizes her passionately</i>]</p>
<p>I'll make you love <i>me</i>! [<i>Kisses her triumphantly.</i>]
I'll bring a different light into those
cold eyes of yours. Wait until you're married!
Wait until you're awakened. I'll make you forget
that man, all other men. You are to be mine—all
mine, all mine! [<i>During this embrace <span class="smcap">Jean</span>
is quite passive, holds up her cheek to be kissed,
and when he seeks her lips she shuts her eyes and
gives him her lips. He suddenly stops, chilled;
holding her at arms length.</i>] But I don't care to
marry an iceberg. Can't you love me a little?
Haven't you any sentiment in your cynical
little soul ... you irresistible darling!<span class="pagenum">[Pg 190]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>In my soul? Yes! It's only my body I'm selling,
you know.</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Then deliberately—clearly without passion—throws
her arms about his neck, clinging
close and kissing him repeatedly until
<span class="smcap">Rex</span> responds.</i></p>
</div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p>Look out, here comes the parson.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Theodore</span> comes out of the house.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p>Oh, Theodore! Rex and I have come to an
understanding.... Will you solemnize our
blessed union?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Not unless you truly love each other. Marriage
is sacred.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>rapidly</i>]</p>
<p>A large church wedding—that will make it
sacred. A full choral service—many expensive
flowers—all the smartest people invited—that
always makes the union of two souls sacred.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 191]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Those who truly love—their friends should
witness the solemn rite, but——</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>interrupts. To <span class="smcap">Rex</span></i>]</p>
<p>And my wedding gown will be white satin
with a point-lace veil caught up with orange-blossoms
and a diamond tiara—"the gift of
the groom"—that ought to make it solemn.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>The white veil is the symbol of purity, Jean.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>rattling on wildly</i>]</p>
<p>Of purity, Rex, do you hear? Whenever you
see a bride in the white symbol of purity she is
pure—that proves it. That makes it all so
beautiful! so sacred! so holy! holy! holy!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Hysterically turns and runs into the house
as <span class="smcap">John</span> comes out.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>following</i>]</p>
<p>Jean, you must not, you shall not—[<i><span class="smcap">John</span>
blocks <span class="smcap">Theodore</span>. <span class="smcap">Rex</span> runs in after <span class="smcap">Jean</span>. To</i>
<span class="pagenum">[Pg 192]</span>
<span class="smcap">John</span>.] John, I warn you! I'll prevent this marriage.
I'll tell every clergyman in the diocese.
I'll inform the bishop himself. This marriage
would be a sacrilege.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>You dare threaten me—after all I've done
for you!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Your five thousand was a loan—not a
bribe—every cent of it will be returned.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>You can't return it. I wouldn't let you if you
could. Come, it's all in the family. [<i><span class="smcap">Theodore</span>
shakes his head.</i>] You know that beautiful Gothic
chapel old man Baker is building on his estate?
He likes you. I'll tell him you're just the man
he's looking for—safe and sane—no socialistic
tendencies.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Don't trouble yourself—he offered me the
place this morning.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>You didn't refuse it!<span class="pagenum">[Pg 193]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>I did—this morning. But since my last talk
with you I've reconsidered, I've telephoned my
acceptance.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>genuinely glad</i>]</p>
<p>Bully! Great! Why, now you're fixed for
life. "Only one kind of fitness encouraged,"
eh?... Right always triumphs in the end.
Never lose your faith again, Theodore.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Right? That whited sepulchre! his mill hands
dying like flies, his private life a public scandal!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>with a cynical grin</i>]</p>
<p>Then why accept his tainted money?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>from his soul</i>]</p>
<p>To keep my wife alive. To keep my children
out of the streets. To keep myself out of deeper
debt to you. That's why I accept it—that's
why many a man sells his soul to the devil....
If I had only myself to consider—why, to me a<span class="pagenum">[Pg 194]</span>
little thing like death would be a blessed luxury.
But I, why, John, I cannot afford—even to
die. I must compromise and live—live for
those dependent on me.... Your five thousand
will be returned with interest, but your little
sister will not be married to a man she does not
want.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>But Rex wants <i>her</i> and money talks in this
world, louder than the Church. Refuse to marry
Baker's son and how long will you keep Baker's
chapel?... Think it over, Theodore, think it
over.</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Suddenly the <span class="smcap">Judge</span> in motor garments covered
with dust comes out panting, followed
by <span class="smcap">Lucy</span> calling.</i></p>
</div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Uncle Everett! Uncle Everett!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>John! Oh, John!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Where is she!<span class="pagenum">[Pg 195]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>You were too late!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Wait! Give me time to get my breath.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Fans himself with his cap and mops brow.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>My detective—didn't he meet their train?</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Judge</span> nods yes.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>But they saw him first?</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Judge</span> shakes head no.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Didn't he follow them?</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Judge</span> nods yes.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Where'd they go? Where are they? Speak,
man, speak!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>raises cap and handkerchief</i>]</p>
<p>Now, just give me a chance and I'll tell the
whole story.... The detective was waiting<span class="pagenum">[Pg 196]</span>
at the station. He saw them step out of the train.
He followed them to the cab-stand. He watched
them get into a taxi—jumped into another
himself—and away they went, pursued by the
detective and blissfully ignorant of his existence....
Even now they don't know they
were being watched—or else ... well, they
might have taken another course.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Quick! Tell us the worst.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>hesitates</i>]</p>
<p>Well ... they drove straight to Helen's
apartment.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>And you were too late. I thought so.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>But my detective?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>He followed and reported to me when I
reached town.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 197]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Reported what? Tell us all.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>First he saw Ernest help Helen out of the
taxi—very tenderly, like this. Little they realized
then how every detail was to be reported
to you now!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Go on! Go on!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Then the detective saw Ernest deliberately——</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Yes, go on.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Deliberately lift his hat like this, say "good
afternoon" just like that, and drive on to his
own apartment a mile away.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>There is a sudden silence; the others waiting
the <span class="smcap">Judge</span> now sits down.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Oh, is that all?<span class="pagenum">[Pg 198]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Why, it's exactly as if they were engaged!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>No, Theodore, not <i>exactly</i> as if engaged.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>You're keeping something back from us!
Speak!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>gets up from chair</i>]</p>
<p>Must I tell you? It's rather delicate....
Well, he didn't even step into the vestibule to
kiss her good-by.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>All look at each other.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>But where are they now? Quick!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>They met later! I knew it.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Yes, it's true. They are alone together at
this very moment.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 199]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">All</span></p>
<p>Where! Where?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>pointing to house</i>]</p>
<p>There.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>What! What are they doing here?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>resumes fanning</i>]</p>
<p>Discussing the marriage problem. [<i>General
rejoicing and relief.</i>] Sssh! Not so loud, you
might interrupt them.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>nodding knowingly</i>]</p>
<p>Cold feet! Knew he'd lose his job.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>The disgrace. She couldn't face it.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>No, conscience. A deep religious nature.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>They all think it over a moment, each sure
of his own diagnosis.</i></p>
<p><span class="pagenum">[Pg 200]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>turning to <span class="smcap">Judge</span> with amusement</i>]</p>
<p>So! Decided the soul-mate theory wouldn't
work in practice, eh?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>And they agree to marry?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>stops fanning</i>]</p>
<p>Marry? My, no! Nothing like that. They
think less of marriage than ever now! Helen
is using woman's sweet indirect influence on
Ernest in there at this moment!</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>All start toward the house impulsively, but
on second thoughts they all stop.</i></p>
</div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Then how on earth did you get them back!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>lighting cigar</i>]</p>
<p>Oh, perfectly simple, I promised Helen you'd
apologize to Ernest; promised Ernest you'd
apologize to Helen. [<i>To <span class="smcap">Lucy</span>.</i>] Promised both
you'd arrange a nice little family party for 'em.
They bear no grudge. They're too happy.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 201]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>horrified. Indicates table</i>]</p>
<p>The family party—for <i>them</i>? Horrors!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>tossing away match</i>]</p>
<p>Yes, here in your happy home. [<i>The others
turn on the <span class="smcap">Judge</span> indignantly.</i>] Well, don't jump
on <i>me</i>. I tell you they positively decline to elope
until after they tell the whole damn family.
Considerate of them, I say. You don't deserve
it, if you ask me.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>incredulous</i>]</p>
<p>Tell the whole ... see here, are they crazy?
Are <i>you</i> crazy? Do you think <i>I'm</i> crazy?</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Impetuously turns toward the house, a man
of action.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>stopping <span class="smcap">John</span></i>]</p>
<p>Wait!... You've already done your best
to destroy your sister—but you've utterly
failed. They have done nothing wrong—<i>as yet</i>.
Why, they are the finest, truest, noblest pair
of lovers I ever met! Now, aren't they, Theodore?<span class="pagenum">[Pg 202]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>I can't say that I call Helen's ideas of marriage
"noble," exactly!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>grandiloquent</i>]</p>
<p>She is willing to sacrifice even marriage for his
career. Isn't that noble? And he! willing to sacrifice
even his career for marriage. Both noble,
if you ask me.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>loud</i>]</p>
<p>Noble tommy-rot!—a pair of pig-headed,
highbrow fools! They don't have to sacrifice
anything for anybody. Can't they work together
just as well married as unmarried?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>slyly</i>]</p>
<p>That's what I said to her, but you had already
convinced her that it was impractical.
Work and marriage—"combine the two, and
you'll fail at both"—your own warning, John.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>angry</i>]</p>
<p>B'r'r—you think you're very funny, don't<span class="pagenum">[Pg 203]</span>
you! But that's my sister in there, planning to
be that fellow's mistress—right here in my
own house! Anything funny about that!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>stepping aside</i>]</p>
<p>All right, go put a stop to it then! [<i><span class="smcap">John</span>
starts toward house.</i>] It's your own house—turn
her out again. [<i><span class="smcap">John</span> stops short.</i>] What are you
going to do about it, John? [<i><span class="smcap">John</span> has no answer.</i>]
Drive little Jean into marriage with a
man she does not love—she is an old-fashioned
girl. But your other sister—you can't make
her marry even the man she does love, unless
she sees fit. She is the New Woman! Society can
no longer force females into wedlock—so it
is forcing them out ... by the thousands! Approve
of it? Of course not. But what good will
our disapproval do? They will only laugh at
you. The strike is on. Few of the strikers will
let you see it. Few of the strikers have Helen's
courage. But, believe it or not, the strike will
spread. It cannot be crushed by law or force.
Unless society wakes up and reforms its rules
and regulations of marriage, marriage is doomed....
What are you going to do about it? [<i>Silence.</i>]
I thought so—nothing. Call them bad<span class="pagenum">[Pg 204]</span>
women and let it go at that. Blame it all on
human nature, made by God, and leave untouched
our human institutions, made by man.
You poor little pessimists! human nature to-day
is better than it ever was, but our most
important institution is worse—the most sacred
relationship in life has become a jest in
the market-place.... You funny little cowards,
you're afraid of life, afraid of love, afraid
of truth. You worship lies, and call it God!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>interrupts</i>]</p>
<p>All right, all right—but we can't change
marriage overnight just to suit Helen. What
are <i>you</i> going to do about it?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>There's just one thing to do. Will you back
me up in everything I say?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>acknowledging his own defeat</i>]</p>
<p>Anything—everything.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Then tell Helen she doesn't have to marry,<span class="pagenum">[Pg 205]</span>
that, with the best intentions, the Church has
made a muddle of monogamy.</p>
<div class="figcenter"> <ANTIMG src="images/i002.jpg" width-obs="383" height-obs="640" alt="" title="" /> <p><i>From a photograph by White Studio.</i></p> <p><span class="smcap">Judge</span>: You poor little pessimists! Human nature to-day is better than it ever was, but our most important institution is worse—the most sacred relationship in life has become a jest in the market-place.</p> </div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Uncle Everett, I protest.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>That we all admire their consecrated courage
and advise their trying this conscientious experiment.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Not if I have anything to say about it!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>But you haven't. Do please get that through
your head.... Theodore, they've talked
enough, ask them to step out here and receive
John's blessing. [<i>Impatiently.</i>] Go on—I'll fix
John. [<i><span class="smcap">Theodore</span> goes.</i>] [<i>To <span class="smcap">John</span>, who is about
to burst forth.</i>] Oh, see here, did you ever pull a
dog into the house against his will?... Let
him alone and he'll follow you in, wag his tail,
and lick your hand.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>You mean, they'll come in, be respectable?<span class="pagenum">[Pg 206]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Admit that marriage has numerous drawbacks—and
they'll see its advantages. Deny it—and
they'll see nothing but each other. Marriage
<i>is</i> in a bad way, but it's the less of two evils.
Marriage <i>must</i> adjust itself to the New Woman—<i>but</i>
the New Woman must meanwhile adjust
herself to marriage. [<i>Briskly to <span class="smcap">Lucy</span>.</i>] Now,
then, did you send out that hurry call for the
family this evening?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Yes, they're on their way here now, but
Uncle Everett, Doctor Hamilton said, next
week.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Yes, I know—it'll be a little surprise party
for Helen.... Did you order some music?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Yes, the musicians are to be stationed in the
library.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Excellent, excellent. [<i>Indicates tables and festoons.</i>]
All that junk will help, too. A good Sun<span class="pagenum">[Pg 207]</span>day
supper this evening, Lucy; your best champagne,
John—gay spirits, family affection,
warm approval, toasts to the future. Why, all
we'll have to do is—[<i>Breaks off.</i>] Here they
come. Now follow my lead. They've done a lot
of thinking since you saw them last, but—make
one misstep and it's all off.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Be nice to her, John. It was just a girlish
impulse.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">John</span> opens arms to receive <span class="smcap">Helen</span>.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>My sister! All is forgiven.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>stops short, her lip curls</i>]</p>
<p><i>You</i> forgive <i>me</i>?</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Before <span class="smcap">John</span> can reply, <span class="smcap">Theodore</span> and
<span class="smcap">Ernest</span> follow, talking.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>But I tell you he had a perfect right to put
me off his property. The thing I can't overlook—[<i>Sees
<span class="smcap">John</span> and <span class="smcap">Lucy</span>. Points finger at them<span class="pagenum">[Pg 208]</span>
accusingly.</i>] Theodore has told me what you
thought.... Please don't judge us by yourselves
again—you licentious-minded married
people!</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>He shrugs his shoulders with fastidious
disgust and turns his back upon them.</i></p>
</div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>gasping</i>]</p>
<p>Well, I'll be damned.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>whispers</i>]</p>
<p>Stand for it—he's right.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>But Ernest ... I'm bound to say when two
people run away together——</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>Ah, Theodore! you, too? Are all married people
alike? Did we want to "run away" as you
call it? Did we not ask for a week to think it
over? Did we not stipulate that in any case we
must frankly face the family first? But this
person—what did he do? he ordered us off<span class="pagenum">[Pg 209]</span>
his property, like trespassers! What could we
do? Sit down in the road and wait a week? Bah!
we went home—you suspicious married people,
you hypocritical, unspeakable married people!
[<i><span class="smcap">Judge</span> has difficulty in restraining <span class="smcap">John</span>.</i>] Why,
I believe our good friend the Judge here is the
only decent-minded, properly married person
on your property.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>bursting out</i>]</p>
<p>Decent-minded—why, he's div——</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span> stops him.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>steps in</i>]</p>
<p>Dev-oted to his wife. Lucy is jealous of what
I'm doing for my wife. [<i>Controls laughter.</i>] Now
come, we must all just let bygones be bygones.
We know your intentions are honorable, your
courage admirable; and for whatever was amiss
in word, deed, or thought, we all humbly apologize—don't
we, John? [<i><span class="smcap">John</span> bows uncomfortably.</i>]
Lucy? Theodore? And now I want you
all to tell Ernest and Helen what you told me—that
their arguments against marriage are unanswerable,
their logic unimpeachable, and we<span class="pagenum">[Pg 210]</span>
no longer have the slightest intention or desire
to get them divorced by matrimony. [<i><span class="smcap">John</span>,
<span class="smcap">Theodore</span>, and <span class="smcap">Lucy</span> look dubious. <span class="smcap">Judge</span>
crosses over and pinches them. <span class="smcap">Helen</span> and <span class="smcap">Ernest</span>
are utterly bewildered.</i>] Why, we wouldn't
let a little thing like marriage come between
them for the world, would we, John? would we,
Lucy? would we, Theodore?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>with an effort</i>]</p>
<p>I agree with Uncle Everett entirely.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>And you, Theodore?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>in a low voice</i>]</p>
<p>Perfectly.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>And you, Lucy?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>with a nervous glance at <span class="smcap">John</span></i>]</p>
<p>Absolutely.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 211]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>to the lovers</i>]</p>
<p>There. You see?</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Ernest</span> looks from one to the other in amazement.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>laughing</i>]</p>
<p>I don't believe a word of it!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Why not? why not?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Very well, then invite the whole family here
next Sunday!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>They'll be here in an hour.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Points to tables.</i></p>
<p><span class="smcap">Helen</span> <i>and</i> <span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>recoiling</i>]</p>
<p>In an hour!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Yes, you are to begin your new life together
this evening! Isn't it lovely?<span class="pagenum">[Pg 212]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>gasping</i>]</p>
<p>But that's so sudden. Why, we—we aren't
ready.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Just as ready as you'll ever be.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Ernest's vacation begins to-morrow—your
honeymoon.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>But, don't you see——</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Those new Paris clothes John gave you—your
trousseau.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>Well, but——</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>And this family gathering this evening, your—in
a manner of speaking—wedding party.
[<i>Waving aside all the lovers' objections.</i>] Now, it's
all fixed, let's go and dress for the—as it
were—ceremony.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 213]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>blocks the way. Serious</i>]</p>
<p>Wait! Did I ever say I would not marry this
woman?</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>All stop, turn, exchange glances.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>apart</i>]</p>
<p>Ah! a broad-minded chap.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>with a wink at <span class="smcap">Judge</span></i>]</p>
<p>Ah! so you think you'd like to marry my sister
after all?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>Oh, you're an ass! What have I been doing
for the past twenty-four hours? Begging her to
marry me. What have you been doing? Preventing
it. Why did I postpone sailing for a week?
Why did I insist upon the family party?
[<i>Comes nearer to <span class="smcap">John</span>.</i>] You're an idiot.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>pinching <span class="smcap">John</span></i>]</p>
<p>Stand for it, John. You've got to stand for it.
Tell him you love him like a brother ... in-law.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 214]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>controls himself</i>]</p>
<p>Well, I ... I—you have my consent, Doctor
Hamilton, I'm sure.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p><i>Your</i> consent! What's that got to do with it?
[<i>They all turn toward <span class="smcap">Helen</span>. <span class="smcap">Ernest</span> steps between
them.</i>] Now wait!... This morning you
tried bullying. Did it work? This afternoon
bluffing. Think <i>that</i> will work? [<i>Hand on <span class="smcap">Helen's</span>
shoulder.</i>] You can't frighten her into marriage.
I've tried that myself. We've got to appeal
to some higher motive than self-interest or
superstition with <i>this</i> woman, racial motives,
unselfish motives. [<i>With force.</i>] But don't talk
to me about her being "immoral." I won't
stand for it. If you want her to marry, prove
the morality of marriage.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>The "morality of marriage"! What next?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>to <span class="smcap">Theodore</span></i>]</p>
<p>That's what I said—the morality of <i>marriage</i>!
This woman is not on trial before you.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 215]</span>
Marriage is on trial before her, and thus far
I'm bound to say you've not made out a good
case for it. But simply <i>justify</i> her marrying me,
and—I give you my word—you can perform
the ceremony this very evening. No license is
required in this State, you know.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>This creates a sensation.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Now, what could be fairer than that! [<i>To
<span class="smcap">Helen</span>.</i>] Do you agree to this?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>she nods</i>]</p>
<p>We agree in everything.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p><i>Both</i> broad-minded!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>quietly</i>]</p>
<p>I never said I did not believe in a legal wedding—[<i>others
surprised</i>] for those who can
afford the luxury of children.... But for those
who have to take it out in working for other
people's children all their lives—a ceremony<span class="pagenum">[Pg 216]</span>
seems like a subterfuge. Without children I
don't see how any marriage is ever consummated—socially.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Ah, but this relationship—it's a sacred
thing in itself.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>sincerely</i>]</p>
<p>I know it. I want to do right, Theodore,
please believe that I do! But the kind of marriage
preached by the Church and practised by
the world—does that cherish the real sacredness
of this relationship? Of course, I can only
judge from appearances, but so often marriage
seems to destroy the sacredness—yes, and also
the usefulness—of this relationship!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>But, my dear girl——</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>smiles</i>]</p>
<p>He thinks so, too. Only he has a quaint, mannish
notion that he must "protect me." [<i>To
<span class="smcap">Ernest</span>, patting his arm.</i>] Haven't you, dear!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Again she has raised the shield of flippancy.</i></p>
<p><span class="pagenum">[Pg 217]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>What did I tell you, Theodore? The old marriage
doesn't fit the New Woman. A self-supporting
girl like Helen objects to obeying a
mere man—like Ernest.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>patting the <span class="smcap">Judge's</span> arm affectionately, too</i>]</p>
<p>Uncle Everett, you know nothing about it!
You think you understand the new generation.
The only generation you understand is the one
which clamored for "Woman's Rights." [<i>To
<span class="smcap">Ernest</span>.</i>] I obey you already—every day of
my life, do I not, dear? [<i>Looking up into his
face.</i>] You're my "boss," aren't you, Ernest?
[<i>To <span class="smcap">Judge</span>.</i>] But I do object to contracting by
law for what is better done by love.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>laughs fondly</i>]</p>
<p>But suppose the promise to obey were left
out?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>But the contract to love—[<i>To <span class="smcap">Theodore</span>.</i>]
that's so much worse, it seems to me. Obedience
is a mere matter of will, is it not? But when
a man promises to love until death—<span class="pagenum">[Pg 218]</span>—</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Are you so cold, so scientific, so <i>unsexed</i>, that
you cannot trust the man you love?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Why, Theodore, if I didn't trust him I'd
<i>marry</i> him! Contracts are not for those who
trust—they're for those who don't.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>takes <span class="smcap">Helen</span> apart</i>]</p>
<p>Now, I may be old-fashioned, Helen, but I'm
a married woman, and I know men. You never
can tell, my dear, you never can tell.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Do you think I'd live with a man who did not
love me? Do you think I'd live <i>on</i> a man I did
not love? [<i><span class="smcap">Lucy</span> blinks.</i>] Why, what kind of a
woman should I be then! The name wife—would
that change it? Calling it holy—would
that hallow it?... Every woman, married or
not, knows the truth about this! In her soul
woman has always known. But until to-day
has never dared to tell.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 219]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>approaching <span class="smcap">Helen</span></i>]</p>
<p>Oh, come now—those vows—they aren't
intended in a literal sense. Ask Theodore.
Why, no sane person means half of that gibberish.
"With all my worldly goods I thee endow"—millions
of men have said it—how
many ever did it? How many clergymen ever
expect them to!... It's all a polite fiction in
beautiful, sonorous English.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>The most sacred relationship in life! Ernest,
shall you and I enter it unadvisedly, lightly,
and with <span class="smcap">LIES</span> on our lips?... Simply because
others do?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>a little impatient</i>]</p>
<p>But the whole world stands for this. And the
world won't stand for that.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Is that reverently, soberly, and in the fear
of God? No, cynically, selfishly, and in the fear
of man. I don't want to be obstinate, I don't
like to set myself up as "holier than thou,"<span class="pagenum">[Pg 220]</span>
but, Ernest, unless we begin honestly, we'll end
dishonestly. Somehow marriage seems wicked
to me.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>nudging <span class="smcap">Theodore</span></i>]</p>
<p>How do you like that?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>John is right—they've gone mad.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>All the same, you've got to marry me—you've
simply <i>got</i> to.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>You are mistaken. I do <i>not</i> have to marry
<i>any one</i>. I can support myself.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>Then I'm disappointed in you.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>And I in you.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>I thought you were sensible.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 221]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>I thought you were honest.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>Honest! You accuse me of dishonesty?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>You don't believe in "half of that gibberish."
Yet you are willing to work the Church for our
own worldly advantage! You are willing to
prostitute the most sacred thing in life!... If
that is not dishonest, what is!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>And you are the woman I love and want to
marry! In all my life I was never accused of dishonesty
before.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>You never tried to marry before. No one is
honest about marriage.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>I never shall try again. I'm going to Paris
to-morrow and I'm going alone.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Then do it. Don't threaten it so often—do it.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 222]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>I shall. And I'll never come back.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Nobody asked you to.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>Helen—for the last time—just for my
sake—marry me.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>For the last time—no! no! <span class="smcap">NO</span>!! I won't be
a hypocrite even for your sake.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>She turns away, he starts off, then stops,
rushes over to her.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>holds out arms</i>]</p>
<p>I can't. You know it. Without you I'm
nothing.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>taking both his hands</i>]</p>
<p>Without you.... Oh, my dear, my dear.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>Forgive me, forgive me.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 223]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>It was all my fault.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>No, I was a brute. I'm not worthy of you.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>covering his lips with her hand</i>]</p>
<p>Sssh—I can't stand it—I was perfectly horrid
to you. And you were doing it all for my
sake. [<i>Laughing and crying.</i>] You dear old
thing—I knew it all the time.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>They seem about to embrace.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>shaking with laughter</i>]</p>
<p>Was there ever in the world anything like
it!... Well, children, see here. He's willing
to lie for your sake. She's willing to die for your
sake. Now, why not just split the difference
and have a civil ceremony for <i>our</i> sake.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>No, they will marry for a better reason.
Think of the <i>sin</i> of it! [<i>To <span class="smcap">Helen</span>.</i>] Have you
no sense of sin?<span class="pagenum">[Pg 224]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>If not, think of the humor of it! Have you no
sense of humor?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>still drying eyes and smiling to <span class="smcap">Judge</span></i>]</p>
<p>Not a scrap. Neither has Ernest. Have you,
dear?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>I <i>hope</i> not—judging from those who always
say they have.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>solemnly</i>]</p>
<p>Helen, look at Ernest—Ernest look at
Helen. [<i>The lovers do so.</i>] Look into each other's
very souls!... You know, you <i>must</i> know,
that in the eyes of God this thing would be a
sin, a heinous sin.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>The lovers gaze deep into each other's eyes in
silence.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>tremulous from the emotion he has just been
through</i>]</p>
<p>The glory and the gladness I see in this
woman's eyes a sin? Her trust in me, my worship
of her, our new-found belief in a future life,<span class="pagenum">[Pg 225]</span>
our greater usefulness together in this—bah!
don't talk to me about sin! Such women cannot
sin—they love.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>tired out</i>]</p>
<p>Oh, you can talk all night, but this is a practical
world. How long could you keep your job
in the institute? Then how'll you live! Private
practice? No respectable home will let you inside
the door.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>I've seen the inside of respectable homes. I
want no more. [<i>Taking from his pocket a piece
of paper.</i>] This morning I came to ask for your
sister's hand in marriage. Your manners did not
please me. So I cabled over to Metchnikoff.
[<i>Hands cablegram to <span class="smcap">John</span>.</i>] His answer. Positions
await us both at the Pasteur Institute in Paris.
That luxurious suite on to-morrow's steamer
still waits in my name.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>Ernest! Stop! Think! This woman's soul is
in your hands.</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i><span class="smcap">Ernest</span> seems to hesitate. <span class="smcap">Helen</span> crosses to
him. <span class="smcap">Judge</span> seizes <span class="smcap">John</span>, whispers, and
shoves him across.</i></p>
</div>
<p><span class="pagenum">[Pg 226]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Doctor Hamilton! I apologize!... You're
a man of the world. You know what this means—she
doesn't. She is in your power—for
God's sake go to Paris without her.</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i><span class="smcap">John</span> tries to lead <span class="smcap">Helen</span> away from <span class="smcap">Ernest</span>.
She shudders at <span class="smcap">John's</span> masterful
touch and clings to her lover.</i></p>
</div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>And leave her here in <i>your</i> power? Never
again! You've forced her out of her work—you'd
force her into legalized prostitution, if you
could, like her innocent little sister. [<i>Snatches
<span class="smcap">Helen</span> away from <span class="smcap">John</span>.</i>] No, married or not,
she sails with me in the morning. That's final.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>The lovers turn away together.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Where are you going?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>To ask Marie to pack my trunk.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>To telephone for a motor.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 227]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>But you won't start until after the family
party?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>Of course not.</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>In a sudden silence <span class="smcap">Helen</span> and <span class="smcap">Ernest</span>
walk into the house, leaving the family in despair.</i></p>
</div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>after a long sigh, to <span class="smcap">John</span></i>]</p>
<p>I knew you'd bungle it, I knew it—but
there's still a chance, just one more card to
play.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>The <span class="smcap">Butler</span> comes out.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Good heavens! Already?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Butler</span></p>
<p>Mr. and Mrs. Willoughby, Doctor and Mrs.
Grey, and the Misses Grey.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>flurried</i>]</p>
<p>And we're not even dressed!<span class="pagenum">[Pg 228]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>No matter. It's Sunday—many orthodox
people ... why, Mr. Baker won't even dine
out on Sunday.</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Enter the persons announced. Greetings.</i>
"How warm it is for September." ...
"And how's the baby, Margaret?" <i>etc.</i></p>
<p><i><span class="smcap">John</span> and <span class="smcap">Judge</span> apart are planning excitedly.
<span class="smcap">Jean</span> and <span class="smcap">Rex</span> come out, and
finally <span class="smcap">Helen</span>, followed by <span class="smcap">Ernest</span>.</i></p>
</div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Butler</span></p>
<p>Dinner is served, ma'am.</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>The <span class="smcap">Second Man</span> touches button. Japanese
lanterns glow, silver shines, and all move
toward the tables, a happy, united family.</i></p>
</div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>going-to-dinner manner as she leads the way</i>]</p>
<p>We can hardly go out formally because we're
already out, you know. Aunt Susan, will you sit
over there on John's right? Doctor Hamilton by
me? Rex on the other side?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Here, Helen. No, Jean, you are beside Rex,
you know.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 229]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Until married, then you're separated.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p>Cousin Charlie—that's it. [<i>All take their
places.</i>] Most extraordinary weather for September,
isn't it?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>he slaps his cheek</i>]</p>
<p>Isn't it?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Lucy</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>shocked and hurt</i>]</p>
<p>That's the first mosquito I have ever known
on our place.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>indignantly</i>]</p>
<p>We never have mosquitoes here. You must
have been mistaken.</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>The servants are passing in and out of
house with courses. The <span class="smcap">Butler</span> now
brings a telegram to <span class="smcap">Judge</span>.</i></p>
</div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>From Julia! [<i>Tears it open eagerly, reads, and<span class="pagenum">[Pg 230]</span>
then shouts.</i>] She's coming back to me, she's
coming back! Look at that, look at that!</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Jumps up and shows telegram to <span class="smcap">John</span>.
Then taking it around to <span class="smcap">Lucy</span> he sings
to tune of "Merrily we roll along"</i>:</p>
<p> Aunt Julia is coming back<br/>
Coming back—coming back<br/>
Aunt Julia is coming back<br/>
Coming back from Reno.<br/></p>
</div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>laughing</i>]</p>
<p>From Reno? That sounds like divorce, Uncle
Everett.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>Like divorce? Does that sound like divorce?
[<i>Takes telegram from <span class="smcap">Lucy</span> and hands it to
<span class="smcap">Helen</span>.</i>] Read it aloud.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>reading</i>]</p>
<p>"Dear boy, I can't stand it, either. Come to
me or I go to you."</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>sings during the reading</i>]</p>
<p>Coming back from Reno. [<i>Breaks off—to</i>
<span class="pagenum">[Pg 231]</span>
<span class="smcap">Helen</span>.] So you thought we wanted a divorce,
did you?</p>
<div class="figcenter"> <ANTIMG src="images/i003.jpg" width-obs="640" height-obs="409" alt="" title="" /> <p><i>From a photograph by White Studio.</i></p> <p style="text-align:center"><span class="smcap">Judge</span>: We thought we believed in trial marriage. Nothing of the sort—trial separation! What marriage put asunder divorce has joined together.</p> </div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>I never dreamed of such a thing.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>looks at her a moment, then in a burst</i>]</p>
<p>Well, <i>I</i> did. The dream of my life—your
Aunt Julia's, too. We thought we believed in
trial marriage, but we don't—we believe in
trial <i>separation</i>!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>uncomfortably</i>]</p>
<p>They thought they didn't love each other,
but they do, you see.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>We don't, we don't, but we can't get along
without each other ... got the habit of
having each other around and can't break it....
This morning I telegraphed: "Are you
doing this just for my sake?" She replied,
"Tutti-frutti." [<i>Sings.</i>] Aunt Julia's coming
back. Oh, I'm too happy to eat.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 232]</span>
[<i>Singing, while
others eat and drink</i>:</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>
Coming back, coming back,<br/>
Aunt Julia is coming back<br/>
Coming back from Reno.<br/></p>
</div>
<p>And I don't care who knows it. The more the
better for marriage. The truth—give me more
truth, give me more—champagne. [<i><span class="smcap">Butler</span>
fills glass as <span class="smcap">Judge</span> raises it.</i>] Here's to your
Aunt Julia, the best wife—I ever had. [<i>All rise,
drink, laugh, and sit down.</i>] And I'll never, never
get another.... You know I thought maybe I
might. Oh, Everett, Everett, you sly dog, you
old idiot you!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>arises, clearing throat, tapping on glasses for
silence</i>]</p>
<p>And now, speaking of divorce, I have an engagement
to announce. [<i>Some laughter but all
quiet down. He smiles at <span class="smcap">Jean</span>.</i>] Of course, you
can't guess whose. Friends, it is my privilege to
announce the engagement of my good friend
Rex Baker to my dear sister Jean. [<i>Gentle applause
and congratulations. Music begins.</i>] And
so I will now ask all to arise and drink to the
health and prosperity of my little sister and my
brother-in-law to be! And my best wish is that<span class="pagenum">[Pg 233]</span>
they will be as happy as my better half and me.
[<i>All cheer and drink health standing.</i>] Speech,
Rex!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Some of them playfully try to put him on his
feet.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>shaking his head and maintaining his seat</i>]</p>
<p>I can't make a speech. I'm too happy for
words—See-what-I-mean?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>in a low, significant tone</i>]</p>
<p>Jean, aren't you going to say something?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Jean</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>arises, all silent, she looks at <span class="smcap">Lucy</span>, <span class="smcap">Rex</span>, <span class="smcap">John</span></i>]</p>
<p>Words cannot describe my happiness, either.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>She resumes her seat, and all gather round
to congratulate <span class="smcap">Jean</span> and <span class="smcap">Rex</span>.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>rapping for quiet</i>]</p>
<p>One moment, one moment. Another toast, another
toast! [<i>Others quiet down.</i>] We have with
us to-night one who, in honoring whom we<span class="pagenum">[Pg 234]</span>
honor ourselves, one who with capital back of
him would soon become the greatest scientist
in America! [<i><span class="smcap">Judge</span> leads applause,</i> "hear, hear!"
<i>etc. <span class="smcap">John</span> raises glass.</i>] To the distinguished guest
whom I am proud to welcome to my humble
board, to the noble humanitarian whom Mr.
Baker delights to honor, to the good friend
whom we all admire and trust, Doctor Ernest
Hamilton!</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>All applaud and about to drink health,
<span class="smcap">Judge</span> jumps up.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>And to his fair collaborator! the brave woman
who at this modern warrior's side daily risks
her life for others, handling death and disease
in those mighty but unsung battles for the common
weal! [<i>Applause.</i>] A New Woman? No,
friends, look behind the stupid names the mob
would cast, like stones to destroy, look and
you will see your true conservative—willing
to appear radical in order to conserve woman's
work in the world! willing to appear ridiculous
to right ancient wrongs! willing even to appear
<i>wrong</i>—for those she loves! Ah, the same old-fashioned
woman we all adore, in a form so
new we blindly fail to understand her glorious<span class="pagenum">[Pg 235]</span>
advent before our very eyes! To Helen, the gracious
embodiment of all that is sweetest, noblest,
and best in womanhood—to Helen! Our
lovely Helen!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>up again at once</i>]</p>
<p>Family approval, social esteem, and an honored
career—all this is theirs for the asking!
To-day to me they have confessed their love—to-night
to you I now announce ... their
engagement! Long life and happiness to Helen
and Ernest!</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Great enthusiasm—even pounding on the
table. <span class="smcap">Ernest</span> arises, looking surprised.
<span class="smcap">John</span> signalling to rest of family to join in.</i></p>
</div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">The Family</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>glasses raised, drowning out <span class="smcap">Ernest</span></i>]</p>
<p>Long life and happiness, long life and happiness!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>raises hand</i>]</p>
<p>Wait! Before you drink this toast.... [<i>The
glasses stop midway. Sudden silence.</i>] Your congratulations
we appreciate, your kind wishes<span class="pagenum">[Pg 236]</span>
we desire—but not on false pretences. We
are not engaged to be married.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>In the tense silence a shudder ripples the
family joy.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>apart to <span class="smcap">Jean</span></i>]</p>
<p>Gee! They had a scrap, too?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>up, nervously. <span class="smcap">Ernest</span> still standing</i>]</p>
<p>If I may interrupt.... He has financial
reasons—I respect him for it. But this very
day the Baker Institute in recognition of Doctor
Hamilton's distinguished services to humanity
has doubled his salary—doubled it!
It's all right now—it's all right.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Rex</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>apart to <span class="smcap">Jean</span></i>]</p>
<p>Four thousand, eh?... get a very decent
touring car for that.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>to all</i>]</p>
<p>That is very kind, but that is not the point.
True, our mutual needs are such that we can<span class="pagenum">[Pg 237]</span>not
live nor work apart, but our convictions
are such that we cannot live and work <i>together</i>—in
what you have the humor to call "holy
wedlock." Now, Helen, the motor is waiting.</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i>Sensation. Gasps of amazement and horror.
Some jump up from table. A chair is upset.
<span class="smcap">Ernest</span> holds <span class="smcap">Helen's</span> wrap. General
movement and murmurs.</i></p>
</div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>barring way</i>]</p>
<p>You leave this house only over my dead body.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Others gather around lovers.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>to all</i>]</p>
<p>Stand back!... Let him among you who
has a purer ideal of love, a higher conception of
duty cast the first stone.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>All stop. Silenced.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>But this man and this woman would destroy
marriage!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>standing beside lovers</i>]</p>
<p>No! Such as they will not destroy marriage—they
will save it! They restore the vital sub<span class="pagenum">[Pg 238]</span>stance
while we preserve the empty shell.
Everything they have said, everything they
have done, proves it. The promise to love—they
could not help it—they took it—I heard
them. The instinct for secrecy—they felt it—we
all do—but straightway they told the next
of kin. [<i>Points to <span class="smcap">John</span>.</i>] Even when insulted and
driven forth from the tribe, they indignantly
refused to be driven into each other's arms until
you of the same blood could hear them plight
their troth! Believe in marriage? Why, there
never was, there never will be a more perfect
tribute to true marriage than from this fearless
pair you now accuse of seeking to destroy it!
[<i><span class="smcap">John</span> tries to interrupt, but the <span class="smcap">Judge</span> waves him
down.</i>] They have been not only honorable but
old-fashioned, save in the one orthodox detail
of accepting the authority constituted by society
for its protection and for <i>theirs</i>. [<i>To <span class="smcap">Helen</span>
and <span class="smcap">Ernest</span>.</i>] But now, I'm sure, before starting
on their wedding journey—another old-fashioned
convention they believe in—that, just
to please us if not themselves, they will consent
to be united in the bonds of holy wedlock by
Cousin Theodore who stands ready and waiting
with prayer-book in hand.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i>Family subsides. Everybody happy. <span class="smcap">Theodore</span>
steps up, opens prayer-book.</i></p>
<p><span class="pagenum">[Pg 239]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p>"Dearly beloved, we are gathered together
here in the sight of God——"</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>suddenly loud and clear</i>]</p>
<p>Theodore! are you going to marry Rex and
Jean?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>impatiently</i>]</p>
<p>Of course, of course, Mr. Baker's chaplain.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>recoiling</i>]</p>
<p>Theodore! You! Are you going to stand up
and tell the world that God has joined those
two together—<span class="smcap">God</span>?</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">Theodore</span> looks at <span class="smcap">John</span> but does not deny
it and says nothing.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>Then you will be blaspheming love—and
God who made it. No, you shall not marry us.</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>agreeing with <span class="smcap">Helen</span></i>]</p>
<p>Some things are too sacred to be profaned.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 240]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Theodore</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>overwhelmed</i>]</p>
<p>Profaned?... By the Church?</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p>Your love too sacred for the Church? The
Church has a name for such love! The world a
name for such women!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>about to strike <span class="smcap">John</span>, then shrugs</i>]</p>
<p>A rotten world! A kept Church! Come, let's
get away from it all! Come!</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i><span class="smcap">Helen</span> offers her hand in farewell to <span class="smcap">Lucy</span>,
but <span class="smcap">John</span> shields her from <span class="smcap">Helen's</span> touch,
then to <span class="smcap">Jean</span>. <span class="smcap">Rex</span> shields <span class="smcap">Jean</span> from
contamination, but <span class="smcap">Jean</span> weeps.</i></p>
</div>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>barring the way. To <span class="smcap">Ernest</span></i>]</p>
<p>Stop! You cannot! The very tie that binds
you to this woman binds you to us and to the
whole world with hooks of steel! [<i>The lovers are
still going, <span class="smcap">Judge</span> ascends steps, facing them.</i>] For
the last time! before too late! <span class="smcap">Ernest!</span> You
<i>know</i> that in the eyes of God you <i>are</i> taking
this woman to be your wife.<span class="pagenum">[Pg 241]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p>In the eyes of <i>God</i>, I <i>do</i> take Helen to be my wife—but——</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p>You, Helen! Speak, woman, speak!</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Helen</span></p>
<p>I take Ernest to be my husband in the eyes of God, but——</p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>raises his hand augustly and in a voice of authority</i>]</p>
<p>Then, since you, Ernest, and you, Helen,
have made this solemn declaration before God
and in the presence of witnesses, I, by the
authority vested in me by the laws of this
State do now pronounce you man and wife!</p>
<div class="blockquot"><p>[<i><span class="smcap">Mr.</span> and <span class="smcap">Mrs. Hamilton</span> look at each other
bewildered. Meanwhile the silence has been pierced, first by a little hysterical
scream from <span class="smcap">Jean</span>, then the others all wake
up and crowd about the happy pair, congratulating them. The women who had
snubbed <span class="smcap">Helen</span> before cover her with
kisses, for now she is fit for their embraces.</i></p>
</div>
<p><span class="pagenum">[Pg 242]</span></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">John</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>to <span class="smcap">Theodore</span></i>]</p>
<p>Saved! Saved! Respectable at last, thank
God. [<i>Raising his glass and hammering for attention.</i>]
Here's to the bride and groom.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">All</span> cheer, raise glasses, and drink.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Ernest</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>when the noise dies down. As the others kiss
<span class="smcap">Helen</span></i>]</p>
<p>A moment ago you were a bad woman. Now [<i>to all</i>]
behold! she is a good woman. Marriage is wonderful.</p>
<p class="pright">[<i><span class="smcap">John</span> and <span class="smcap">Lucy</span> run to <span class="smcap">Judge</span> and shake hands.</i></p>
<p class="char"><span class="smcap">Judge</span></p>
<p class="center">[<i>to <span class="smcap">John</span> and <span class="smcap">Lucy</span>, his wife</i>]</p>
<p>Yes, Respectability has triumphed this time, but let Society take
warning and beware! beware! beware!</p>
<h2><span class="smcap">Curtain</span></h2>
<hr style="width: 100%;" />
<h3>BY JESSE LYNCH WILLIAMS</h3>
<hr style="width: 15%;" />
<div class="pblockquot">
<p>PRINCETON STORIES (1895).</p>
<p>THE ADVENTURES OF A FRESHMAN (1899).</p>
<p>THE STOLEN STORY, AND OTHER NEWSPAPER
STORIES (1899).</p>
<p>NEW YORK SKETCHES (1902).</p>
<p>THE DAY-DREAMER (1906). (Being a novelization
of the four-act comedy, "The Stolen
Story."</p>
<p>THE GIRL AND THE GAME, AND OTHER
COLLEGE STORIES (1908).</p>
<p>THE MARRIED LIFE OF THE FREDERIC
CARROLLS (1910).</p>
<p>REMATING TIME (1916).</p>
<p>WHY MARRY? (1918). New edition of "And So
They Were Married."</p>
</div>
<h4>CHARLES SCRIBNER'S SONS</h4>
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