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<h2> CHAPTER XXXV </h2>
<p>Edmund had determined that it belonged entirely to Fanny to chuse whether
her situation with regard to Crawford should be mentioned between them or
not; and that if she did not lead the way, it should never be touched on
by him; but after a day or two of mutual reserve, he was induced by his
father to change his mind, and try what his influence might do for his
friend.</p>
<p>A day, and a very early day, was actually fixed for the Crawfords'
departure; and Sir Thomas thought it might be as well to make one more
effort for the young man before he left Mansfield, that all his
professions and vows of unshaken attachment might have as much hope to
sustain them as possible.</p>
<p>Sir Thomas was most cordially anxious for the perfection of Mr. Crawford's
character in that point. He wished him to be a model of constancy; and
fancied the best means of effecting it would be by not trying him too
long.</p>
<p>Edmund was not unwilling to be persuaded to engage in the business; he
wanted to know Fanny's feelings. She had been used to consult him in every
difficulty, and he loved her too well to bear to be denied her confidence
now; he hoped to be of service to her, he thought he must be of service to
her; whom else had she to open her heart to? If she did not need counsel,
she must need the comfort of communication. Fanny estranged from him,
silent and reserved, was an unnatural state of things; a state which he
must break through, and which he could easily learn to think she was
wanting him to break through.</p>
<p>"I will speak to her, sir: I will take the first opportunity of speaking
to her alone," was the result of such thoughts as these; and upon Sir
Thomas's information of her being at that very time walking alone in the
shrubbery, he instantly joined her.</p>
<p>"I am come to walk with you, Fanny," said he. "Shall I?" Drawing her arm
within his. "It is a long while since we have had a comfortable walk
together."</p>
<p>She assented to it all rather by look than word. Her spirits were low.</p>
<p>"But, Fanny," he presently added, "in order to have a comfortable walk,
something more is necessary than merely pacing this gravel together. You
must talk to me. I know you have something on your mind. I know what you
are thinking of. You cannot suppose me uninformed. Am I to hear of it from
everybody but Fanny herself?"</p>
<p>Fanny, at once agitated and dejected, replied, "If you hear of it from
everybody, cousin, there can be nothing for me to tell."</p>
<p>"Not of facts, perhaps; but of feelings, Fanny. No one but you can tell me
them. I do not mean to press you, however. If it is not what you wish
yourself, I have done. I had thought it might be a relief."</p>
<p>"I am afraid we think too differently for me to find any relief in talking
of what I feel."</p>
<p>"Do you suppose that we think differently? I have no idea of it. I dare
say that, on a comparison of our opinions, they would be found as much
alike as they have been used to be: to the point—I consider
Crawford's proposals as most advantageous and desirable, if you could
return his affection. I consider it as most natural that all your family
should wish you could return it; but that, as you cannot, you have done
exactly as you ought in refusing him. Can there be any disagreement
between us here?"</p>
<p>"Oh no! But I thought you blamed me. I thought you were against me. This
is such a comfort!"</p>
<p>"This comfort you might have had sooner, Fanny, had you sought it. But how
could you possibly suppose me against you? How could you imagine me an
advocate for marriage without love? Were I even careless in general on
such matters, how could you imagine me so where your happiness was at
stake?"</p>
<p>"My uncle thought me wrong, and I knew he had been talking to you."</p>
<p>"As far as you have gone, Fanny, I think you perfectly right. I may be
sorry, I may be surprised—though hardly <i>that</i>, for you had not
had time to attach yourself—but I think you perfectly right. Can it
admit of a question? It is disgraceful to us if it does. You did not love
him; nothing could have justified your accepting him."</p>
<p>Fanny had not felt so comfortable for days and days.</p>
<p>"So far your conduct has been faultless, and they were quite mistaken who
wished you to do otherwise. But the matter does not end here. Crawford's
is no common attachment; he perseveres, with the hope of creating that
regard which had not been created before. This, we know, must be a work of
time. But" (with an affectionate smile) "let him succeed at last, Fanny,
let him succeed at last. You have proved yourself upright and
disinterested, prove yourself grateful and tender-hearted; and then you
will be the perfect model of a woman which I have always believed you born
for."</p>
<p>"Oh! never, never, never! he never will succeed with me." And she spoke
with a warmth which quite astonished Edmund, and which she blushed at the
recollection of herself, when she saw his look, and heard him reply,
"Never! Fanny!—so very determined and positive! This is not like
yourself, your rational self."</p>
<p>"I mean," she cried, sorrowfully correcting herself, "that I <i>think</i>
I never shall, as far as the future can be answered for; I think I never
shall return his regard."</p>
<p>"I must hope better things. I am aware, more aware than Crawford can be,
that the man who means to make you love him (you having due notice of his
intentions) must have very uphill work, for there are all your early
attachments and habits in battle array; and before he can get your heart
for his own use he has to unfasten it from all the holds upon things
animate and inanimate, which so many years' growth have confirmed, and
which are considerably tightened for the moment by the very idea of
separation. I know that the apprehension of being forced to quit Mansfield
will for a time be arming you against him. I wish he had not been obliged
to tell you what he was trying for. I wish he had known you as well as I
do, Fanny. Between us, I think we should have won you. My theoretical and
his practical knowledge together could not have failed. He should have
worked upon my plans. I must hope, however, that time, proving him (as I
firmly believe it will) to deserve you by his steady affection, will give
him his reward. I cannot suppose that you have not the <i>wish</i> to love
him—the natural wish of gratitude. You must have some feeling of
that sort. You must be sorry for your own indifference."</p>
<p>"We are so totally unlike," said Fanny, avoiding a direct answer, "we are
so very, very different in all our inclinations and ways, that I consider
it as quite impossible we should ever be tolerably happy together, even if
I <i>could</i> like him. There never were two people more dissimilar. We
have not one taste in common. We should be miserable."</p>
<p>"You are mistaken, Fanny. The dissimilarity is not so strong. You are
quite enough alike. You <i>have</i> tastes in common. You have moral and
literary tastes in common. You have both warm hearts and benevolent
feelings; and, Fanny, who that heard him read, and saw you listen to
Shakespeare the other night, will think you unfitted as companions? You
forget yourself: there is a decided difference in your tempers, I allow.
He is lively, you are serious; but so much the better: his spirits will
support yours. It is your disposition to be easily dejected and to fancy
difficulties greater than they are. His cheerfulness will counteract this.
He sees difficulties nowhere: and his pleasantness and gaiety will be a
constant support to you. Your being so far unlike, Fanny, does not in the
smallest degree make against the probability of your happiness together:
do not imagine it. I am myself convinced that it is rather a favourable
circumstance. I am perfectly persuaded that the tempers had better be
unlike: I mean unlike in the flow of the spirits, in the manners, in the
inclination for much or little company, in the propensity to talk or to be
silent, to be grave or to be gay. Some opposition here is, I am thoroughly
convinced, friendly to matrimonial happiness. I exclude extremes, of
course; and a very close resemblance in all those points would be the
likeliest way to produce an extreme. A counteraction, gentle and
continual, is the best safeguard of manners and conduct."</p>
<p>Full well could Fanny guess where his thoughts were now: Miss Crawford's
power was all returning. He had been speaking of her cheerfully from the
hour of his coming home. His avoiding her was quite at an end. He had
dined at the Parsonage only the preceding day.</p>
<p>After leaving him to his happier thoughts for some minutes, Fanny, feeling
it due to herself, returned to Mr. Crawford, and said, "It is not merely
in <i>temper</i> that I consider him as totally unsuited to myself;
though, in <i>that</i> respect, I think the difference between us too
great, infinitely too great: his spirits often oppress me; but there is
something in him which I object to still more. I must say, cousin, that I
cannot approve his character. I have not thought well of him from the time
of the play. I then saw him behaving, as it appeared to me, so very
improperly and unfeelingly—I may speak of it now because it is all
over—so improperly by poor Mr. Rushworth, not seeming to care how he
exposed or hurt him, and paying attentions to my cousin Maria, which—in
short, at the time of the play, I received an impression which will never
be got over."</p>
<p>"My dear Fanny," replied Edmund, scarcely hearing her to the end, "let us
not, any of us, be judged by what we appeared at that period of general
folly. The time of the play is a time which I hate to recollect. Maria was
wrong, Crawford was wrong, we were all wrong together; but none so wrong
as myself. Compared with me, all the rest were blameless. I was playing
the fool with my eyes open."</p>
<p>"As a bystander," said Fanny, "perhaps I saw more than you did; and I do
think that Mr. Rushworth was sometimes very jealous."</p>
<p>"Very possibly. No wonder. Nothing could be more improper than the whole
business. I am shocked whenever I think that Maria could be capable of it;
but, if she could undertake the part, we must not be surprised at the
rest."</p>
<p>"Before the play, I am much mistaken if <i>Julia</i> did not think he was
paying her attentions."</p>
<p>"Julia! I have heard before from some one of his being in love with Julia;
but I could never see anything of it. And, Fanny, though I hope I do
justice to my sisters' good qualities, I think it very possible that they
might, one or both, be more desirous of being admired by Crawford, and
might shew that desire rather more unguardedly than was perfectly prudent.
I can remember that they were evidently fond of his society; and with such
encouragement, a man like Crawford, lively, and it may be, a little
unthinking, might be led on to—there could be nothing very striking,
because it is clear that he had no pretensions: his heart was reserved for
you. And I must say, that its being for you has raised him inconceivably
in my opinion. It does him the highest honour; it shews his proper
estimation of the blessing of domestic happiness and pure attachment. It
proves him unspoilt by his uncle. It proves him, in short, everything that
I had been used to wish to believe him, and feared he was not."</p>
<p>"I am persuaded that he does not think, as he ought, on serious subjects."</p>
<p>"Say, rather, that he has not thought at all upon serious subjects, which
I believe to be a good deal the case. How could it be otherwise, with such
an education and adviser? Under the disadvantages, indeed, which both have
had, is it not wonderful that they should be what they are? Crawford's <i>feelings</i>,
I am ready to acknowledge, have hitherto been too much his guides.
Happily, those feelings have generally been good. You will supply the
rest; and a most fortunate man he is to attach himself to such a creature—to
a woman who, firm as a rock in her own principles, has a gentleness of
character so well adapted to recommend them. He has chosen his partner,
indeed, with rare felicity. He will make you happy, Fanny; I know he will
make you happy; but you will make him everything."</p>
<p>"I would not engage in such a charge," cried Fanny, in a shrinking accent;
"in such an office of high responsibility!"</p>
<p>"As usual, believing yourself unequal to anything! fancying everything too
much for you! Well, though I may not be able to persuade you into
different feelings, you will be persuaded into them, I trust. I confess
myself sincerely anxious that you may. I have no common interest in
Crawford's well-doing. Next to your happiness, Fanny, his has the first
claim on me. You are aware of my having no common interest in Crawford."</p>
<p>Fanny was too well aware of it to have anything to say; and they walked on
together some fifty yards in mutual silence and abstraction. Edmund first
began again—</p>
<p>"I was very much pleased by her manner of speaking of it yesterday,
particularly pleased, because I had not depended upon her seeing
everything in so just a light. I knew she was very fond of you; but yet I
was afraid of her not estimating your worth to her brother quite as it
deserved, and of her regretting that he had not rather fixed on some woman
of distinction or fortune. I was afraid of the bias of those worldly
maxims, which she has been too much used to hear. But it was very
different. She spoke of you, Fanny, just as she ought. She desires the
connexion as warmly as your uncle or myself. We had a long talk about it.
I should not have mentioned the subject, though very anxious to know her
sentiments; but I had not been in the room five minutes before she began
introducing it with all that openness of heart, and sweet peculiarity of
manner, that spirit and ingenuousness which are so much a part of herself.
Mrs. Grant laughed at her for her rapidity."</p>
<p>"Was Mrs. Grant in the room, then?"</p>
<p>"Yes, when I reached the house I found the two sisters together by
themselves; and when once we had begun, we had not done with you, Fanny,
till Crawford and Dr. Grant came in."</p>
<p>"It is above a week since I saw Miss Crawford."</p>
<p>"Yes, she laments it; yet owns it may have been best. You will see her,
however, before she goes. She is very angry with you, Fanny; you must be
prepared for that. She calls herself very angry, but you can imagine her
anger. It is the regret and disappointment of a sister, who thinks her
brother has a right to everything he may wish for, at the first moment.
She is hurt, as you would be for William; but she loves and esteems you
with all her heart."</p>
<p>"I knew she would be very angry with me."</p>
<p>"My dearest Fanny," cried Edmund, pressing her arm closer to him, "do not
let the idea of her anger distress you. It is anger to be talked of rather
than felt. Her heart is made for love and kindness, not for resentment. I
wish you could have overheard her tribute of praise; I wish you could have
seen her countenance, when she said that you <i>should</i> be Henry's
wife. And I observed that she always spoke of you as 'Fanny,' which she
was never used to do; and it had a sound of most sisterly cordiality."</p>
<p>"And Mrs. Grant, did she say—did she speak; was she there all the
time?"</p>
<p>"Yes, she was agreeing exactly with her sister. The surprise of your
refusal, Fanny, seems to have been unbounded. That you could refuse such a
man as Henry Crawford seems more than they can understand. I said what I
could for you; but in good truth, as they stated the case—you must
prove yourself to be in your senses as soon as you can by a different
conduct; nothing else will satisfy them. But this is teasing you. I have
done. Do not turn away from me."</p>
<p>"I <i>should</i> have thought," said Fanny, after a pause of recollection
and exertion, "that every woman must have felt the possibility of a man's
not being approved, not being loved by some one of her sex at least, let
him be ever so generally agreeable. Let him have all the perfections in
the world, I think it ought not to be set down as certain that a man must
be acceptable to every woman he may happen to like himself. But, even
supposing it is so, allowing Mr. Crawford to have all the claims which his
sisters think he has, how was I to be prepared to meet him with any
feeling answerable to his own? He took me wholly by surprise. I had not an
idea that his behaviour to me before had any meaning; and surely I was not
to be teaching myself to like him only because he was taking what seemed
very idle notice of me. In my situation, it would have been the extreme of
vanity to be forming expectations on Mr. Crawford. I am sure his sisters,
rating him as they do, must have thought it so, supposing he had meant
nothing. How, then, was I to be—to be in love with him the moment he
said he was with me? How was I to have an attachment at his service, as
soon as it was asked for? His sisters should consider me as well as him.
The higher his deserts, the more improper for me ever to have thought of
him. And, and—we think very differently of the nature of women, if
they can imagine a woman so very soon capable of returning an affection as
this seems to imply."</p>
<p>"My dear, dear Fanny, now I have the truth. I know this to be the truth;
and most worthy of you are such feelings. I had attributed them to you
before. I thought I could understand you. You have now given exactly the
explanation which I ventured to make for you to your friend and Mrs.
Grant, and they were both better satisfied, though your warm-hearted
friend was still run away with a little by the enthusiasm of her fondness
for Henry. I told them that you were of all human creatures the one over
whom habit had most power and novelty least; and that the very
circumstance of the novelty of Crawford's addresses was against him. Their
being so new and so recent was all in their disfavour; that you could
tolerate nothing that you were not used to; and a great deal more to the
same purpose, to give them a knowledge of your character. Miss Crawford
made us laugh by her plans of encouragement for her brother. She meant to
urge him to persevere in the hope of being loved in time, and of having
his addresses most kindly received at the end of about ten years' happy
marriage."</p>
<p>Fanny could with difficulty give the smile that was here asked for. Her
feelings were all in revolt. She feared she had been doing wrong: saying
too much, overacting the caution which she had been fancying necessary; in
guarding against one evil, laying herself open to another; and to have
Miss Crawford's liveliness repeated to her at such a moment, and on such a
subject, was a bitter aggravation.</p>
<p>Edmund saw weariness and distress in her face, and immediately resolved to
forbear all farther discussion; and not even to mention the name of
Crawford again, except as it might be connected with what <i>must</i> be
agreeable to her. On this principle, he soon afterwards observed—"They
go on Monday. You are sure, therefore, of seeing your friend either
to-morrow or Sunday. They really go on Monday; and I was within a trifle
of being persuaded to stay at Lessingby till that very day! I had almost
promised it. What a difference it might have made! Those five or six days
more at Lessingby might have been felt all my life."</p>
<p>"You were near staying there?"</p>
<p>"Very. I was most kindly pressed, and had nearly consented. Had I received
any letter from Mansfield, to tell me how you were all going on, I believe
I should certainly have staid; but I knew nothing that had happened here
for a fortnight, and felt that I had been away long enough."</p>
<p>"You spent your time pleasantly there?"</p>
<p>"Yes; that is, it was the fault of my own mind if I did not. They were all
very pleasant. I doubt their finding me so. I took uneasiness with me, and
there was no getting rid of it till I was in Mansfield again."</p>
<p>"The Miss Owens—you liked them, did not you?"</p>
<p>"Yes, very well. Pleasant, good-humoured, unaffected girls. But I am
spoilt, Fanny, for common female society. Good-humoured, unaffected girls
will not do for a man who has been used to sensible women. They are two
distinct orders of being. You and Miss Crawford have made me too nice."</p>
<p>Still, however, Fanny was oppressed and wearied; he saw it in her looks,
it could not be talked away; and attempting it no more, he led her
directly, with the kind authority of a privileged guardian, into the
house.</p>
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