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<h1> THE PRISONER OF ZENDA </h1>
<h2> by Anthony Hope </h2>
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<h2> CHAPTER 1 </h2>
<h3> The Rassendylls—With a Word on the Elphbergs </h3>
<p>"I wonder when in the world you're going to do anything, Rudolf?" said my
brother's wife.</p>
<p>"My dear Rose," I answered, laying down my egg-spoon, "why in the world
should I do anything? My position is a comfortable one. I have an income
nearly sufficient for my wants (no one's income is ever quite sufficient,
you know), I enjoy an enviable social position: I am brother to Lord
Burlesdon, and brother-in-law to that charming lady, his countess. Behold,
it is enough!"</p>
<p>"You are nine-and-twenty," she observed, "and you've done nothing but—"</p>
<p>"Knock about? It is true. Our family doesn't need to do things."</p>
<p>This remark of mine rather annoyed Rose, for everybody knows (and
therefore there can be no harm in referring to the fact) that, pretty and
accomplished as she herself is, her family is hardly of the same standing
as the Rassendylls. Besides her attractions, she possessed a large
fortune, and my brother Robert was wise enough not to mind about her
ancestry. Ancestry is, in fact, a matter concerning which the next
observation of Rose's has some truth.</p>
<p>"Good families are generally worse than any others," she said.</p>
<p>Upon this I stroked my hair: I knew quite well what she meant.</p>
<p>"I'm so glad Robert's is black!" she cried.</p>
<p>At this moment Robert (who rises at seven and works before breakfast) came
in. He glanced at his wife: her cheek was slightly flushed; he patted it
caressingly.</p>
<p>"What's the matter, my dear?" he asked.</p>
<p>"She objects to my doing nothing and having red hair," said I, in an
injured tone.</p>
<p>"Oh! of course he can't help his hair," admitted Rose.</p>
<p>"It generally crops out once in a generation," said my brother. "So does
the nose. Rudolf has got them both."</p>
<p>"I wish they didn't crop out," said Rose, still flushed.</p>
<p>"I rather like them myself," said I, and, rising, I bowed to the portrait
of Countess Amelia.</p>
<p>My brother's wife uttered an exclamation of impatience.</p>
<p>"I wish you'd take that picture away, Robert," said she.</p>
<p>"My dear!" he cried.</p>
<p>"Good heavens!" I added.</p>
<p>"Then it might be forgotten," she continued.</p>
<p>"Hardly—with Rudolf about," said Robert, shaking his head.</p>
<p>"Why should it be forgotten?" I asked.</p>
<p>"Rudolf!" exclaimed my brother's wife, blushing very prettily.</p>
<p>I laughed, and went on with my egg. At least I had shelved the question of
what (if anything) I ought to do. And, by way of closing the discussion—and
also, I must admit, of exasperating my strict little sister-in-law a
trifle more—I observed:</p>
<p>"I rather like being an Elphberg myself."</p>
<p>When I read a story, I skip the explanations; yet the moment I begin to
write one, I find that I must have an explanation. For it is manifest that
I must explain why my sister-in-law was vexed with my nose and hair, and
why I ventured to call myself an Elphberg. For eminent as, I must protest,
the Rassendylls have been for many generations, yet participation in their
blood of course does not, at first sight, justify the boast of a
connection with the grander stock of the Elphbergs or a claim to be one of
that Royal House. For what relationship is there between Ruritania and
Burlesdon, between the Palace at Strelsau or the Castle of Zenda and
Number 305 Park Lane, W.?</p>
<p>Well then—and I must premise that I am going, perforce, to rake up
the very scandal which my dear Lady Burlesdon wishes forgotten—in
the year 1733, George II. sitting then on the throne, peace reigning for
the moment, and the King and the Prince of Wales being not yet at
loggerheads, there came on a visit to the English Court a certain prince,
who was afterwards known to history as Rudolf the Third of Ruritania. The
prince was a tall, handsome young fellow, marked (maybe marred, it is not
for me to say) by a somewhat unusually long, sharp and straight nose, and
a mass of dark-red hair—in fact, the nose and the hair which have
stamped the Elphbergs time out of mind. He stayed some months in England,
where he was most courteously received; yet, in the end, he left rather
under a cloud. For he fought a duel (it was considered highly well bred of
him to waive all question of his rank) with a nobleman, well known in the
society of the day, not only for his own merits, but as the husband of a
very beautiful wife. In that duel Prince Rudolf received a severe wound,
and, recovering therefrom, was adroitly smuggled off by the Ruritanian
ambassador, who had found him a pretty handful. The nobleman was not
wounded in the duel; but the morning being raw and damp on the occasion of
the meeting, he contracted a severe chill, and, failing to throw it off,
he died some six months after the departure of Prince Rudolf, without
having found leisure to adjust his relations with his wife—who,
after another two months, bore an heir to the title and estates of the
family of Burlesdon. This lady was the Countess Amelia, whose picture my
sister-in-law wished to remove from the drawing-room in Park Lane; and her
husband was James, fifth Earl of Burlesdon and twenty-second Baron
Rassendyll, both in the peerage of England, and a Knight of the Garter. As
for Rudolf, he went back to Ruritania, married a wife, and ascended the
throne, whereon his progeny in the direct line have sat from then till
this very hour—with one short interval. And, finally, if you walk
through the picture galleries at Burlesdon, among the fifty portraits or
so of the last century and a half, you will find five or six, including
that of the sixth earl, distinguished by long, sharp, straight noses and a
quantity of dark-red hair; these five or six have also blue eyes, whereas
among the Rassendylls dark eyes are the commoner.</p>
<p>That is the explanation, and I am glad to have finished it: the blemishes
on honourable lineage are a delicate subject, and certainly this heredity
we hear so much about is the finest scandalmonger in the world; it laughs
at discretion, and writes strange entries between the lines of the
"Peerages".</p>
<p>It will be observed that my sister-in-law, with a want of logic that must
have been peculiar to herself (since we are no longer allowed to lay it to
the charge of her sex), treated my complexion almost as an offence for
which I was responsible, hastening to assume from that external sign
inward qualities of which I protest my entire innocence; and this unjust
inference she sought to buttress by pointing to the uselessness of the
life I had led. Well, be that as it may, I had picked up a good deal of
pleasure and a good deal of knowledge. I had been to a German school and a
German university, and spoke German as readily and perfectly as English; I
was thoroughly at home in French; I had a smattering of Italian and enough
Spanish to swear by. I was, I believe, a strong, though hardly fine
swordsman and a good shot. I could ride anything that had a back to sit
on; and my head was as cool a one as you could find, for all its flaming
cover. If you say that I ought to have spent my time in useful labour, I
am out of Court and have nothing to say, save that my parents had no
business to leave me two thousand pounds a year and a roving disposition.</p>
<p>"The difference between you and Robert," said my sister-in-law, who often
(bless her!) speaks on a platform, and oftener still as if she were on
one, "is that he recognizes the duties of his position, and you see the
opportunities of yours."</p>
<p>"To a man of spirit, my dear Rose," I answered, "opportunities are
duties."</p>
<p>"Nonsense!" said she, tossing her head; and after a moment she went on:
"Now, here's Sir Jacob Borrodaile offering you exactly what you might be
equal to."</p>
<p>"A thousand thanks!" I murmured.</p>
<p>"He's to have an Embassy in six months, and Robert says he is sure that
he'll take you as an attache. Do take it, Rudolf—to please me."</p>
<p>Now, when my sister-in-law puts the matter in that way, wrinkling her
pretty brows, twisting her little hands, and growing wistful in the eyes,
all on account of an idle scamp like myself, for whom she has no natural
responsibility, I am visited with compunction. Moreover, I thought it
possible that I could pass the time in the position suggested with some
tolerable amusement. Therefore I said:</p>
<p>"My dear sister, if in six months' time no unforeseen obstacle has arisen,
and Sir Jacob invites me, hang me if I don't go with Sir Jacob!"</p>
<p>"Oh, Rudolf, how good of you! I am glad!"</p>
<p>"Where's he going to?"</p>
<p>"He doesn't know yet; but it's sure to be a good Embassy."</p>
<p>"Madame," said I, "for your sake I'll go, if it's no more than a beggarly
Legation. When I do a thing, I don't do it by halves."</p>
<p>My promise, then, was given; but six months are six months, and seem an
eternity, and, inasmuch as they stretched between me and my prospective
industry (I suppose attaches are industrious; but I know not, for I never
became attache to Sir Jacob or anybody else), I cast about for some
desirable mode of spending them. And it occurred to me suddenly that I
would visit Ruritania. It may seem strange that I had never visited that
country yet; but my father (in spite of a sneaking fondness for the
Elphbergs, which led him to give me, his second son, the famous Elphberg
name of Rudolf) had always been averse from my going, and, since his
death, my brother, prompted by Rose, had accepted the family tradition
which taught that a wide berth was to be given to that country. But the
moment Ruritania had come into my head I was eaten up with a curiosity to
see it. After all, red hair and long noses are not confined to the House
of Elphberg, and the old story seemed a preposterously insufficient reason
for debarring myself from acquaintance with a highly interesting and
important kingdom, one which had played no small part in European history,
and might do the like again under the sway of a young and vigorous ruler,
such as the new King was rumoured to be. My determination was clinched by
reading in <i>The Times</i> that Rudolf the Fifth was to be crowned at
Strelsau in the course of the next three weeks, and that great
magnificence was to mark the occasion. At once I made up my mind to be
present, and began my preparations. But, inasmuch as it has never been my
practice to furnish my relatives with an itinerary of my journeys and in
this case I anticipated opposition to my wishes, I gave out that I was
going for a ramble in the Tyrol—an old haunt of mine—and
propitiated Rose's wrath by declaring that I intended to study the
political and social problems of the interesting community which dwells in
that neighbourhood.</p>
<p>"Perhaps," I hinted darkly, "there may be an outcome of the expedition."</p>
<p>"What do you mean?" she asked.</p>
<p>"Well," said I carelessly, "there seems a gap that might be filled by an
exhaustive work on—"</p>
<p>"Oh! will you write a book?" she cried, clapping her hands. "That would be
splendid, wouldn't it, Robert?"</p>
<p>"It's the best of introductions to political life nowadays," observed my
brother, who has, by the way, introduced himself in this manner several
times over. <i>Burlesdon on Ancient Theories and Modern Facts</i> and <i>The
Ultimate Outcome, by a Political Student</i>, are both works of recognized
eminence.</p>
<p>"I believe you are right, Bob, my boy," said I.</p>
<p>"Now promise you'll do it," said Rose earnestly.</p>
<p>"No, I won't promise; but if I find enough material, I will."</p>
<p>"That's fair enough," said Robert.</p>
<p>"Oh, material doesn't matter!" she said, pouting.</p>
<p>But this time she could get no more than a qualified promise out of me. To
tell the truth, I would have wagered a handsome sum that the story of my
expedition that summer would stain no paper and spoil not a single pen.
And that shows how little we know what the future holds; for here I am,
fulfilling my qualified promise, and writing, as I never thought to write,
a book—though it will hardly serve as an introduction to political
life, and has not a jot to do with the Tyrol.</p>
<p>Neither would it, I fear, please Lady Burlesdon, if I were to submit it to
her critical eye—a step which I have no intention of taking.</p>
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