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<h2> CHAPTER XXIII. </h2>
<p>"I think that it is superfluous to say that I was very vain. If one has no
vanity in this life of ours, there is no sufficient reason for living. So
for that Sunday I had busied myself in tastefully arranging things for the
dinner and the musical soiree. I had purchased myself numerous things for
the dinner, and had chosen the guests. Toward six o'clock they arrived,
and after them Troukhatchevsky, in his dress-coat, with diamond
shirt-studs, in bad taste. He bore himself with ease. To all questions he
responded promptly, with a smile of contentment and understanding, and
that peculiar expression which was intended to mean: 'All that you may do
and say will be exactly what I expected.' Everything about him that was
not correct I now noticed with especial pleasure, for it all tended to
tranquillize me, and prove to me that to my wife he stood in such a degree
of inferiority that, as she had told me, she could not stoop to his level.
Less because of my wife's assurances than because of the atrocious
sufferings which I felt in jealousy, I no longer allowed myself to be
jealous.</p>
<p>"In spite of that, I was not at ease with the musician or with her during
dinner-time and the time that elapsed before the beginning of the music.
Involuntarily I followed each of their gestures and looks. The dinner,
like all dinners, was tiresome and conventional. Not long afterward the
music began. He went to get his violin; my wife advanced to the piano, and
rummaged among the scores. Oh, how well I remember all the details of that
evening! I remember how he brought the violin, how he opened the box, took
off the serge embroidered by a lady's hand, and began to tune the
instrument. I can still see my wife sit down, with a false air of
indifference, under which it was plain that she hid a great timidity, a
timidity that was especially due to her comparative lack of musical
knowledge. She sat down with that false air in front of the piano, and
then began the usual preliminaries,—the pizzicati of the violin and
the arrangement of the scores. I remember then how they looked at each
other, and cast a glance at their auditors who were taking their seats.
They said a few words to each other, and the music began. They played
Beethoven's 'Kreutzer Sonata.' Do you know the first presto? Do you know
it? Ah!" . . .</p>
<p>Posdnicheff heaved a sigh, and was silent for a long time.</p>
<p>"A terrible thing is that sonata, especially the presto! And a terrible
thing is music in general. What is it? Why does it do what it does? They
say that music stirs the soul. Stupidity! A lie! It acts, it acts
frightfully (I speak for myself), but not in an ennobling way. It acts
neither in an ennobling nor a debasing way, but in an irritating way. How
shall I say it? Music makes me forget my real situation. It transports me
into a state which is not my own. Under the influence of music I really
seem to feel what I do not feel, to understand what I do not understand,
to have powers which I cannot have. Music seems to me to act like yawning
or laughter; I have no desire to sleep, but I yawn when I see others yawn;
with no reason to laugh, I laugh when I hear others laugh. And music
transports me immediately into the condition of soul in which he who wrote
the music found himself at that time. I become confounded with his soul,
and with him I pass from one condition to another. But why that? I know
nothing about it? But he who wrote Beethoven's 'Kreutzer Sonata' knew well
why he found himself in a certain condition. That condition led him to
certain actions, and for that reason to him had a meaning, but to me none,
none whatever. And that is why music provokes an excitement which it does
not bring to a conclusion. For instance, a military march is played; the
soldier passes to the sound of this march, and the music is finished. A
dance is played; I have finished dancing, and the music is finished. A
mass is sung; I receive the sacrament, and again the music is finished.
But any other music provokes an excitement, and this excitement is not
accompanied by the thing that needs properly to be done, and that is why
music is so dangerous, and sometimes acts so frightfully.</p>
<p>"In China music is under the control of the State, and that is the way it
ought to be. Is it admissible that the first comer should hypnotize one or
more persons, and then do with them as he likes? And especially that the
hypnotizer should be the first immoral individual who happens to come
along? It is a frightful power in the hands of any one, no matter whom.
For instance, should they be allowed to play this 'Kreutzer Sonata,' the
first presto,—and there are many like it,—in parlors, among
ladies wearing low necked dresses, or in concerts, then finish the piece,
receive the applause, and then begin another piece? These things should be
played under certain circumstances, only in cases where it is necessary to
incite certain actions corresponding to the music. But to incite an energy
of feeling which corresponds to neither the time nor the place, and is
expended in nothing, cannot fail to act dangerously. On me in particular
this piece acted in a frightful manner. One would have said that new
sentiments, new virtualities, of which I was formerly ignorant, had
developed in me. 'Ah, yes, that's it! Not at all as I lived and thought
before! This is the right way to live!'</p>
<p>"Thus I spoke to my soul as I listened to that music. What was this new
thing that I thus learned? That I did not realize, but the consciousness
of this indefinite state filled me with joy. In that state there was no
room for jealousy. The same faces, and among them HE and my wife, I saw in
a different light. This music transported me into an unknown world, where
there was no room for jealousy. Jealousy and the feelings that provoke it
seemed to me trivialities, nor worth thinking of.</p>
<p>"After the presto followed the andante, not very new, with commonplace
variations, and the feeble finale. Then they played more, at the request
of the guests,—first an elegy by Ernst, and then various other
pieces. They were all very well, but did not produce upon me a tenth part
of the impression that the opening piece did. I felt light and gay
throughout the evening. As for my wife, never had I seen her as she was
that night. Those brilliant eyes, that severity and majestic expression
while she was playing, and then that utter languor, that weak, pitiable,
and happy smile after she had finished,—I saw them all and attached
no importance to them, believing that she felt as I did, that to her, as
to me, new sentiments had been revealed, as through a fog. During almost
the whole evening I was not jealous.</p>
<p>"Two days later I was to start for the assembly of the Zemstvo, and for
that reason, on taking leave of me and carrying all his scores with him,
Troukhatchevsky asked me when I should return. I inferred from that that
he believed it impossible to come to my house during my absence, and that
was agreeable to me. Now I was not to return before his departure from the
city. So we bade each other a definite farewell. For the first time I
shook his hand with pleasure, and thanked him for the satisfaction that he
had given me. He likewise took leave of my wife, and their parting seemed
to me very natural and proper. All went marvellously. My wife and I
retired, well satisfied with the evening. We talked of our impressions in
a general way, and we were nearer together and more friendly than we had
been for a long time."</p>
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