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<h2> CHAPTER XIV. </h2>
<p>"Yes, much worse than the animal is man when he does not live as a man.
Thus was I. The horrible part is that I believed, inasmuch as I did not
allow myself to be seduced by other women that I was leading an honest
family life, that I was a very mortal being, and that if we had quarrels,
the fault was in my wife, and in her character.</p>
<p>"But it is evident that the fault was not in her. She was like everybody
else, like the majority. She was brought up according to the principles
exacted by the situation of our society,—that is, as all the young
girls of our wealthy classes, without exception, are brought up, and as
they cannot fail to be brought up. How many times we hear or read of
reflections upon the abnormal condition of women, and upon what they ought
to be. But these are only vain words. The education of women results from
the real and not imaginary view which the world entertains of women's
vocation. According to this view, the condition of women consists in
procuring pleasure and it is to that end that her education is directed.
From her infancy she is taught only those things that are calculated to
increase her charm. Every young girl is accustomed to think only of that.</p>
<p>"As the serfs were brought up solely to please their masters, so woman is
brought up to attract men. It cannot be otherwise. But you will say,
perhaps, that that applies only to young girls who are badly brought up,
but that there is another education, an education that is serious, in the
schools, an education in the dead languages, an education in the
institutions of midwifery, an education in medical courses, and in other
courses. It is false.</p>
<p>"Every sort of feminine education has for its sole object the attraction
of men.</p>
<p>"Some attract by music or curly hair, others by science or by civic
virtue. The object is the same, and cannot be otherwise (since no other
object exists),—to seduce man in order to possess him. Imagine
courses of instruction for women and feminine science without men,—that
is, learned women, and men not KNOWING them as learned. Oh, no! No
education, no instruction can change woman as long as her highest ideal
shall be marriage and not virginity, freedom from sensuality. Until that
time she will remain a serf. One need only imagine, forgetting the
universality of the case, the conditions in which our young girls are
brought up, to avoid astonishment at the debauchery of the women of our
upper classes. It is the opposite that would cause astonishment.</p>
<p>"Follow my reasoning. From infancy garments, ornaments, cleanliness,
grace, dances, music, reading of poetry, novels, singing, the theatre, the
concert, for use within and without, according as women listen, or
practice themselves. With that, complete physical idleness, an excessive
care of the body, a vast consumption of sweetmeats; and God knows how the
poor maidens suffer from their own sensuality, excited by all these
things. Nine out of ten are tortured intolerably during the first period
of maturity, and afterward provided they do not marry at the age of
twenty. That is what we are unwilling to see, but those who have eyes see
it all the same. And even the majority of these unfortunate creatures are
so excited by a hidden sensuality (and it is lucky if it is hidden) that
they are fit for nothing. They become animated only in the presence of
men. Their whole life is spent in preparations for coquetry, or in
coquetry itself. In the presence of men they become too animated; they
begin to live by sensual energy. But the moment the man goes away, the
life stops.</p>
<p>"And that, not in the presence of a certain man, but in the presence of
any man, provided he is not utterly hideous. You will say that this is an
exception. No, it is a rule. Only in some it is made very evident, in
other less so. But no one lives by her own life; they are all dependent
upon man. They cannot be otherwise, since to them the attraction of the
greatest number of men is the ideal of life (young girls and married
women), and it is for this reason that they have no feeling stronger than
that of the animal need of every female who tries to attract the largest
number of males in order to increase the opportunities for choice. So it
is in the life of young girls, and so it continues during marriage. In the
life of young girls it is necessary in order to selection, and in marriage
it is necessary in order to rule the husband. Only one thing suppresses or
interrupts these tendencies for a time,—namely, children,—and
then only when the woman is not a monster,—that is, when she nurses
her own children. Here again the doctor interferes.</p>
<p>"With my wife, who desired to nurse her own children, and who did nurse
six of them, it happened that the first child was sickly. The doctors, who
cynically undressed her and felt of her everywhere, and whom I had to
thank and pay for these acts,—these dear doctors decided that she
ought not to nurse her child, and she was temporarily deprived of the only
remedy for coquetry. A nurse finished the nursing of this first-born,—that
is to say, we profited by the poverty and ignorance of a woman to steal
her from her own little one in favor of ours, and for that purpose we
dressed her in a kakoschnik trimmed with gold lace. Nevertheless, that is
not the question; but there was again awakened in my wife that coquetry
which had been sleeping during the nursing period. Thanks to that, she
reawakened in me the torments of jealousy which I had formerly known,
though in a much slighter degree."</p>
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