<h3>Chapter 19</h3>
<p>Stepan Arkadyevitch was about to go away when Korney came in to announce:</p>
<p>“Sergey Alexyevitch!”</p>
<p>“Who’s Sergey Alexyevitch?” Stepan Arkadyevitch was
beginning, but he remembered immediately.</p>
<p>“Ah, Seryozha!” he said aloud. “Sergey Alexyevitch! I thought
it was the director of a department. Anna asked me to see him too,” he
thought.</p>
<p>And he recalled the timid, piteous expression with which Anna had said to him
at parting: “Anyway, you will see him. Find out exactly where he is, who
is looking after him. And Stiva ... if it were possible! Could it be
possible?” Stepan Arkadyevitch knew what was meant by that “if it
were possible,”—if it were possible to arrange the divorce so as to
let her have her son.... Stepan Arkadyevitch saw now that it was no good to
dream of that, but still he was glad to see his nephew.</p>
<p>Alexey Alexandrovitch reminded his brother-in-law that they never spoke to the
boy of his mother, and he begged him not to mention a single word about her.</p>
<p>“He was very ill after that interview with his mother, which we had not
foreseen,” said Alexey Alexandrovitch. “Indeed, we feared for his
life. But with rational treatment, and sea-bathing in the summer, he regained
his strength, and now, by the doctor’s advice, I have let him go to
school. And certainly the companionship of school has had a good effect on him,
and he is perfectly well, and making good progress.”</p>
<p>“What a fine fellow he’s grown! He’s not Seryozha now, but
quite full-fledged Sergey Alexyevitch!” said Stepan Arkadyevitch,
smiling, as he looked at the handsome, broad-shouldered lad in blue coat and
long trousers, who walked in alertly and confidently. The boy looked healthy
and good-humored. He bowed to his uncle as to a stranger, but recognizing him,
he blushed and turned hurriedly away from him, as though offended and irritated
at something. The boy went up to his father and handed him a note of the marks
he had gained in school.</p>
<p>“Well, that’s very fair,” said his father, “you can
go.”</p>
<p>“He’s thinner and taller, and has grown out of being a child into a
boy; I like that,” said Stepan Arkadyevitch. “Do you remember
me?”</p>
<p>The boy looked back quickly at his uncle.</p>
<p>“Yes, <i>mon oncle</i>,” he answered, glancing at his father, and
again he looked downcast.</p>
<p>His uncle called him to him, and took his hand.</p>
<p>“Well, and how are you getting on?” he said, wanting to talk to
him, and not knowing what to say.</p>
<p>The boy, blushing and making no answer, cautiously drew his hand away. As soon
as Stepan Arkadyevitch let go his hand, he glanced doubtfully at his father,
and like a bird set free, he darted out of the room.</p>
<p>A year had passed since the last time Seryozha had seen his mother. Since then
he had heard nothing more of her. And in the course of that year he had gone to
school, and made friends among his schoolfellows. The dreams and memories of
his mother, which had made him ill after seeing her, did not occupy his
thoughts now. When they came back to him, he studiously drove them away,
regarding them as shameful and girlish, below the dignity of a boy and a
schoolboy. He knew that his father and mother were separated by some quarrel,
he knew that he had to remain with his father, and he tried to get used to that
idea.</p>
<p>He disliked seeing his uncle, so like his mother, for it called up those
memories of which he was ashamed. He disliked it all the more as from some
words he had caught as he waited at the study door, and still more from the
faces of his father and uncle, he guessed that they must have been talking of
his mother. And to avoid condemning the father with whom he lived and on whom
he was dependent, and, above all, to avoid giving way to sentimentality, which
he considered so degrading, Seryozha tried not to look at his uncle who had
come to disturb his peace of mind, and not to think of what he recalled to him.</p>
<p>But when Stepan Arkadyevitch, going out after him, saw him on the stairs, and
calling to him, asked him how he spent his playtime at school, Seryozha talked
more freely to him away from his father’s presence.</p>
<p>“We have a railway now,” he said in answer to his uncle’s
question. “It’s like this, do you see: two sit on a
bench—they’re the passengers; and one stands up straight on the
bench. And all are harnessed to it by their arms or by their belts, and they
run through all the rooms—the doors are left open beforehand. Well, and
it’s pretty hard work being the conductor!”</p>
<p>“That’s the one that stands?” Stepan Arkadyevitch inquired,
smiling.</p>
<p>“Yes, you want pluck for it, and cleverness too, especially when they
stop all of a sudden, or someone falls down.”</p>
<p>“Yes, that must be a serious matter,” said Stepan Arkadyevitch,
watching with mournful interest the eager eyes, like his mother’s; not
childish now—no longer fully innocent. And though he had promised Alexey
Alexandrovitch not to speak of Anna, he could not restrain himself.</p>
<p>“Do you remember your mother?” he asked suddenly.</p>
<p>“No, I don’t,” Seryozha said quickly. He blushed crimson, and
his face clouded over. And his uncle could get nothing more out of him. His
tutor found his pupil on the staircase half an hour later, and for a long while
he could not make out whether he was ill-tempered or crying.</p>
<p>“What is it? I expect you hurt yourself when you fell down?” said
the tutor. “I told you it was a dangerous game. And we shall have to
speak to the director.”</p>
<p>“If I had hurt myself, nobody should have found it out, that’s
certain.”</p>
<p>“Well, what is it, then?”</p>
<p>“Leave me alone! If I remember, or if I don’t remember?... what
business is it of his? Why should I remember? Leave me in peace!” he
said, addressing not his tutor, but the whole world.</p>
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