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<h2> CHAPTER III. A MENAGERIE RACE </h2>
<p>The first time that Jim returned from school was for the Easter holidays.</p>
<p>He brought a couple of mates with him—boys from New South Wales and
Queensland, Harry Trevor and Walter Meadows. Harry was a little older than
Jim—a short, thick-set lad, very fair and solemn, with
expressionless grey eyes, looking out beneath a shock of flaxen hair.
Those who knew him not said that he was stupid. Those who knew him said
that you couldn't tell old Harry much that he didn't know. Those who knew
him very well said that you could depend on Trevor to his last gasp. Jim
loved him—and there were few people Jim loved.</p>
<p>Walter—or Wally—Meadows was a different type; long and thin
for fourteen, burnt to almost Kaffir darkness; a wag of a boy, with merry
brown eyes, and a temperament unable to be depressed for more than five
minutes at a time. He was always in scrapes at school, but a great
favourite with masters and boys notwithstanding; and he straightway laid
his boyish heart down at Norah's feet, and was her slave from the first
day they met.</p>
<p>Norah liked them both. She had been desperately afraid that they would try
to take Jim away from her, and was much relieved to find that they
welcomed her cheerfully into their plans. They were good riders, and the
four had splendid gallops over the plains after hares. Also they admired
Bobs fervently, and that was always a passport to Norah's heart.</p>
<p>It was on the third day of their visit, and they were making the morning
round of the pets, when a brilliant idea came to Wally.</p>
<p>"Let's have a menagerie race!" he cried suddenly.</p>
<p>"What's that?" Norah asked blankly.</p>
<p>"Why, you each drive an animal," explained Wally, the words tumbling over
one another in his haste. "Say you drive the kangaroo, 'n me the
wallabies, 'n Jim the Orpington rooster, 'n we'll give old Harry the
tortoise—turloise, I beg pardon!"</p>
<p>"Thanks," said Harry dryly. "The tortoise scored once, you know, young
Wally!"</p>
<p>"Well, old man, you take him," Wally said kindly. "Wouldn't stand in your
way for a moment. We can use harness, can't we?"</p>
<p>"Don't know," Jim said. "I never studied the rules of menagerie racing.
Use bridles, anyhow. It's a good idea, I think. Let's see how many
starters we can muster."</p>
<p>They cruised round. Dogs were barred as being too intelligent—horses
were, of course, out of the question. Finally they fixed on the possible
candidates. They were the kangaroo, the wallabies, a big black Orpington
"rooster," Fudge the parrot, Caesar the cockatoo, Mrs. Brown's big yellow
cat, Tim, and the "turloise."</p>
<p>"Eight," said Harry laconically. The starters were all mustered in one
enclosure, and were on the worst of terms. "We'll need more jockeys—if
you call 'em jockeys."</p>
<p>"Well, there's black Billy," Jim said; "he's available, and he'll drive
whichever he's told, and that's a comfort. That's five. And we'll rouse
out old Lee Wing, and Hogg, that's a ripping idea, 'cause they hate each
other so. Seven. Who's eight? Oh, I know! We'll get Mrs. Brown."</p>
<p>Mrs. Brown was accordingly bearded in her den and, protesting vigorously
that she had no mind for racing, haled forth into the open. She was a huge
woman, as good-natured as she was fat, which said a good deal. In her
print dress, with enormous white apron and flapping sun bonnet, she looked
as unlikely a "jockey" as could be imagined.</p>
<p>Lee Wing, discovered in the onion bed, was presently brought to the
scratch, despite his protests. He said he "couldn't lun," but was told
that in all probability no running would be required of him. He also said
"no can dlive" many times, and further remarked, "Allee same gleat bosh."
When he saw his arch enemy Hogg among the competitors his resentment was
keen, and Wally was told off to restrain him from flight. Wally's own idea
was to tie him up by the pigtail, but this Jim was prudent enough to
forbid.</p>
<p>Hogg was, as Jim put it, rooting amongst the roses, and grunted freely on
his way to the post. He could never refuse Norah anything, but this
proceeding was much beneath his dignity, and the sight of Lee Wing did not
tend to improve his view of the matter. He stood aloof, with a cold, proud
smile, like a hero of melodrama.</p>
<p>Black Billy was, of course, in the stables, and came with alacrity. He had
not much English and that little was broken, but he worshipped the Linton
children—Jim especially, and would obey him with the unquestioning
obedience of a dog.</p>
<p>"All here?" asked Jim, looking round. "Five, six, eight—that's all
serene. Now who's going to drive who?"</p>
<p>Opinions on that point were mixed. Every one wanted the kangaroo, and at
last a general vote gave him to Norah. Wally chose one Wallaby. He said it
was only natural, and made a further remark about the feelings of the
others when "Wally and his wallaby should wallow by them" that was happily
quenched by Harry, who adopted the simple plan of sitting on the orator.
Harry secured the second wallaby, and black Billy was given the Orpington
rooster as his steed. Mrs. Brown from the first applied for the tortoise.
She said it meant less exertion, and she preferred to be slow and sure,
without any risk of over-work. Hogg chose the yellow cat, Tim, and Lee
Wing was given Caesar, the cockatoo.</p>
<p>"Leaving old Fudge for me," Jim said ruefully. "What sort of a chance do
you think I've got? Never mind, I'm used to being suppressed."</p>
<p>"Good for you," observed Harry. "Now, how about harness?"</p>
<p>"Well, we'll leave that to individual taste," Jim said. "Here's a ball of
string, and there are plenty of light straps. Mrs. Brown—you're the
leading lady. How shall I harness your prancing steed for you?"</p>
<p>"You will have your joke, Master Jim," retorted Mrs. Brown, bridling and
beaming. "Now, I don't think I'll harness my poor beastie at all. Give me
a couple of sticks to keep his head the right way and to poke him gently,
and we'll beat you all yet!"</p>
<p>Norah and the two boys fixed up fearful and wonderful harness for their
nominations—collars of straps, and long string headpieces and reins.
The animals objected strongly to being harnessed, and the process was most
entertaining. Mrs. Brown was particularly appreciative, and at length in a
paroxysm of mirth narrowly escaped sitting down on the tortoise.</p>
<p>Black Billy's harness was not extensive. He tied a string round the black
Orpington's leg, and retired to the stable for a few minutes, returning
with a bulging pocket, the contents of which he did not communicate. Hogg
did not attempt to bit and bridle the yellow cat, which was much annoyed
at the whole proceeding. Instead he fixed up a collar and traces of
string, and chose a long cane, more, he said, for purposes of defence than
for anything else. Lee Wing and Jim harnessed their steeds in the same way—with
a long string tied to each leg.</p>
<p>"All ready?" Jim queried. "Toe the line!"</p>
<p>The course was across a small paddock near the house—a distance of
about thirty yards—and the competitors were ranged up with no little
difficulty. Luckily, the line was a wide one, admitting of considerable
space between each starter, or the send-off might have been inextricably
confused. However, they were all arranged at last, and Jim, in a
stentorian voice, gave the word to "Go."</p>
<p>As the signal was given, the drivers urged on their steeds according to
their judgment, and with magnificent results.</p>
<p>First to get off the line were the wallabies and the kangaroo. They fled,
each his several way, and after them went their drivers, in great haste.
The kangaroo had all the best of the start. So remarkable was his bound
that he twitched his reins quite out of Norah's hands, and made for the
fence of the paddock. It was an open one, which let him through easily.
The wallabies, seeing his shining success, followed his course, and midway
managed to entangle their reins, at which Wally and Harry were wildly
hauling. Confusion became disorder, and the wallabies at length reduced
themselves to a tangle, out of which they had to be assisted by means of
Harry's pocket knife.</p>
<p>Jim had no luck. The parrot went off well, but very soon seemed to regret
his rashness and, despite all Jim's endeavours, returned with solemnity to
the start, where he paused and talked fluently in the mixed language that
was all his own. In desperation Jim tried to pull him along, but Fudge
simply walked round and round him, until he had exhausted his driver's
patience, and was "turned out."</p>
<p>The most spirited of the competitors were decidedly the cockatoo and Tim.
They were panting for each other's blood from the start, and before they
had been urged over a quarter of the way they found an opportunity of
warfare, and seized it simultaneously. Then the air grew murky with sound—cockatoo
shrieks, mingled with cat calls and fluent Chinese, cutting across Hogg's
good, broad Scots. Naturally, the strings of the harness became fatally
twisted immediately, and soon the combatants were bound together with a
firmness which not all the efforts of their drivers could undo. A sudden
movement of the pair made Lee Wing spring back hastily, whereupon he
tripped and stumbled violently against Hogg.</p>
<p>Hogg's temper was at vanishing point, and this was the last straw.</p>
<p>"Ye pig-tailed image!" he exclaimed furiously. Drawing back, he aimed a
blow at Lee Wing, which would have effectively put that gentle Mongolian
out of the race had he not dodged quickly. He shouted something in his own
language, which was evidently of no complimentary nature, and hurled
himself like a yellow tornado upon the angry Scotsman. They struck out at
each other with all possible ill-will, but their science was much impeded
by the fact that the cat and cockatoo were fighting fiercely amongst their
legs. Finally Lee Wing tripped over Tim, and sat down abruptly, receiving
as he did so an impassioned peck from Caesar which elicited from him a
loud yell of anguish. Hogg, attempting to follow up his advantage, was
checked suddenly by Jim, who left his parrot to its own devices, and
arrived on the scene at full gallop.</p>
<p>"You are a blessed pair of duffers!" said Jim wrathfully. "Look here, if
father catches you fighting there'll be the most awful row—and I'll
be in it too, what's worse. Clear out, for goodness' sake, before he comes
along, and don't get in each others' road again!" and each nursing
bitterness in his heart, the rival gardeners returned to their respective
beds of roses and onions.</p>
<p>Left to their own devices, the yellow cat and the cockatoo departed also,
in a turmoil of wrath, with fur and feathers flying in equal proportions.
Eventually Tim found discretion the better part of valour and scurried
away to the safe shelter of the kitchen, pursued by Caesar with loud
shrieks of defiance and victory—sounds of joyful triumph which
lasted long after he had regained his perch and been securely fastened by
the leg with his hated chain.</p>
<p>Black Billy, meanwhile, had paid strict attention to business. The
vagaries of wallabies and kangaroo, of cat and parrot and cockatoo, had no
attraction for the dusky leader of the big black Orpington rooster.</p>
<p>The Orpington—Jonah, Norah called him—was not inclined to
race. He had tugged furiously at his leg rope, with much outcry and
indignation, until Billy, finding himself alone, owing to the eccentric
behaviour of the other starters, had resorted to different tactics by no
means devoid of native cunning. Slackening the line, he suddenly produced
from his pocket a few grains of wheat, and spread them temptingly before
Jonah.</p>
<p>Now Jonah was a tame bird. He was accustomed to being handled, and had
only been indignant at the disgrace of bonds. This new departure was
something he understood; so he gobbled up the wheat with alacrity and
looked up inquiringly for more.</p>
<p>"Right oh!" said Bffly, retiring a few steps down the track and bringing
out another grain. Jonah sprang after it, and then was dazzled with the
view of two lying yet a few yards farther off. So, feeding and coaxing,
black Billy worked his unsuspecting steed across the little paddock.</p>
<p>No one was near when he reached the winning post, to which he promptly
tied Jonah, and, his purpose being accomplished, and no need of further
bribery being necessary, sat down beside him and meditatively began to
chew the remainder of his wheat. Jonah looked indignant, and poked round
after more grains, an attention which Billy met with jeers and continued
heartless mastication, until the Orpington gave up the quest in disgust,
and retired to the limit of his tether. Billy sat quietly, with steadfast
glittering eyes twinkling in his dusky face.</p>
<p>"Hallo!" It was Jim's voice. "Where are all the rest? D'you mean to say
you're the only one to get here?"</p>
<p>Billy grinned silently.</p>
<p>Sounds of mirth floated over the grass, and Norah, Harry and Wally raced
up.</p>
<p>"Where are your mokes?" queried Jim.</p>
<p>"The good knights are dust,<br/>
Their mokes are rust,"<br/></p>
<p>misquoted Wally cheerfully.</p>
<p>"We don't know, bless you. Cleared out, harness and all. We'll have a
wallaby and kangaroo hunt after this. Who's won?"</p>
<p>"Billy," said Jim, indicating that sable hero. "In a common walk. Fed him
over. All right, now, Billy, you catch-um kangaroo, wallaby—d'you
hear?"</p>
<p>Billy showed a set of amazingly white teeth in a broad grin, and departed
swiftly and silently.</p>
<p>"Where's Lee Wing?"</p>
<p>"Had to tear him off Hogg!" Jim grinned. "You never saw such a shindy.
They've retired in bad order."</p>
<p>"Where's Fudge?"</p>
<p>"Left at the post!"</p>
<p>"Where's Mrs. Brown—and the tortoise?"</p>
<p>"Great Scott!" Jim looked round blankly. "That never occurred to me. Where
is she, I wonder?"</p>
<p>The course was empty.</p>
<p>"Tortoise got away with her!" laughed Wally.</p>
<p>"H'm," said Jim. "We'll track her to her lair."</p>
<p>In her lair—the kitchen—Mrs. Brown was discovered, modestly
hiding behind the door. The tortoise was on the table, apparently
cheerful.</p>
<p>"Poor dear pet!" said Mrs. Brown. "He wouldn't run. I don't think he was
awake to the situation, Master Jim, dear, so I just carried him over—I
didn't think it mattered which way I ran—and my scones were in the
oven! They're just out—perhaps you'd all try them?"—this
insinuatingly. "I don't think this tortoise comes of a racing family!"—and
the great menagerie race concluded happily in the kitchen in what Wally
called "a hot buttered orgy."</p>
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