<SPAN name="chap16"></SPAN>
<h3> XVI </h3>
<p>Of Paris what am I to say? The whole proceeding was a delirium, a
madness. I spent a little over three weeks there, and, during that
time, saw my hundred thousand francs come to an end. I speak only of
the ONE hundred thousand francs, for the other hundred thousand I gave
to Mlle. Blanche in pure cash. That is to say, I handed her fifty
thousand francs at Frankfurt, and, three days later (in Paris),
advanced her another fifty thousand on note of hand. Nevertheless, a
week had not elapsed ere she came to me for more money. "Et les cent
mille francs qui nous restent," she added, "tu les mangeras avec moi,
mon utchitel." Yes, she always called me her "utchitel." A person more
economical, grasping, and mean than Mlle. Blanche one could not
imagine. But this was only as regards HER OWN money. MY hundred
thousand francs (as she explained to me later) she needed to set up her
establishment in Paris, "so that once and for all I may be on a decent
footing, and proof against any stones which may be thrown at me—at all
events for a long time to come." Nevertheless, I saw nothing of those
hundred thousand francs, for my own purse (which she inspected daily)
never managed to amass in it more than a hundred francs at a time; and,
generally the sum did not reach even that figure.</p>
<p>"What do you want with money?" she would say to me with air of absolute
simplicity; and I never disputed the point. Nevertheless, though she
fitted out her flat very badly with the money, the fact did not prevent
her from saying when, later, she was showing me over the rooms of her
new abode: "See what care and taste can do with the most wretched of
means!" However, her "wretchedness" had cost fifty thousand francs,
while with the remaining fifty thousand she purchased a carriage and
horses.</p>
<p>Also, we gave a couple of balls—evening parties attended by Hortense
and Lisette and Cleopatre, who were women remarkable both for the
number of their liaisons and (though only in some cases) for their good
looks. At these reunions I had to play the part of host—to meet and
entertain fat mercantile parvenus who were impossible by reason of
their rudeness and braggadocio, colonels of various kinds, hungry
authors, and journalistic hacks—all of whom disported themselves in
fashionable tailcoats and pale yellow gloves, and displayed such an
aggregate of conceit and gasconade as would be unthinkable even in St.
Petersburg—which is saying a great deal! They used to try to make fun
of me, but I would console myself by drinking champagne and then
lolling in a retiring-room. Nevertheless, I found it deadly work.
"C'est un utchitel," Blanche would say of me, "qui a gagne deux cent
mille francs, and but for me, would have had not a notion how to spend
them. Presently he will have to return to his tutoring. Does any one
know of a vacant post? You know, one must do something for him."</p>
<p>I had the more frequent recourse to champagne in that I constantly felt
depressed and bored, owing to the fact that I was living in the most
bourgeois commercial milieu imaginable—a milieu wherein every sou was
counted and grudged. Indeed, two weeks had not elapsed before I
perceived that Blanche had no real affection for me, even though she
dressed me in elegant clothes, and herself tied my tie each day. In
short, she utterly despised me. But that caused me no concern. Blase
and inert, I spent my evenings generally at the Chateau des Fleurs,
where I would get fuddled and then dance the cancan (which, in that
establishment, was a very indecent performance) with eclat. At length,
the time came when Blanche had drained my purse dry. She had conceived
an idea that, during the term of our residence together, it would be
well if I were always to walk behind her with a paper and pencil, in
order to jot down exactly what she spent, what she had saved, what she
was paying out, and what she was laying by. Well, of course I could not
fail to be aware that this would entail a battle over every ten francs;
so, although for every possible objection that I might make she had
prepared a suitable answer, she soon saw that I made no objections, and
therefore, had to start disputes herself. That is to say, she would
burst out into tirades which were met only with silence as I lolled on
a sofa and stared fixedly at the ceiling. This greatly surprised her.
At first she imagined that it was due merely to the fact that I was a
fool, "un utchitel"; wherefore she would break off her harangue in the
belief that, being too stupid to understand, I was a hopeless case.
Then she would leave the room, but return ten minutes later to resume
the contest. This continued throughout her squandering of my money—a
squandering altogether out of proportion to our means. An example is
the way in which she changed her first pair of horses for a pair which
cost sixteen thousand francs.</p>
<p>"Bibi," she said on the latter occasion as she approached me, "surely
you are not angry?"</p>
<p>"No-o-o: I am merely tired," was my reply as I pushed her from me. This
seemed to her so curious that straightway she seated herself by my side.</p>
<p>"You see," she went on, "I decided to spend so much upon these horses
only because I can easily sell them again. They would go at any time
for TWENTY thousand francs."</p>
<p>"Yes, yes. They are splendid horses, and you have got a splendid
turn-out. I am quite content. Let me hear no more of the matter."</p>
<p>"Then you are not angry?"</p>
<p>"No. Why should I be? You are wise to provide yourself with what you
need, for it will all come in handy in the future. Yes, I quite see the
necessity of your establishing yourself on a good basis, for without it
you will never earn your million. My hundred thousand francs I look
upon merely as a beginning—as a mere drop in the bucket."</p>
<p>Blanche, who had by no means expected such declarations from me, but,
rather, an uproar and protests, was rather taken aback.</p>
<p>"Well, well, what a man you are!" she exclaimed. "Mais tu as l'esprit
pour comprendre. Sais-tu, mon garcon, although you are a tutor, you
ought to have been born a prince. Are you not sorry that your money
should be going so quickly?"</p>
<p>"No. The quicker it goes the better."</p>
<p>"Mais—sais-tu-mais dis donc, are you really rich? Mais sais-tu, you
have too much contempt for money. Qu'est-ce que tu feras apres, dis
donc?"</p>
<p>"Apres I shall go to Homburg, and win another hundred thousand francs."</p>
<p>"Oui, oui, c'est ca, c'est magnifique! Ah, I know you will win them,
and bring them to me when you have done so. Dis donc—you will end by
making me love you. Since you are what you are, I mean to love you all
the time, and never to be unfaithful to you. You see, I have not loved
you before parce que je croyais que tu n'es qu'un utchitel (quelque
chose comme un lacquais, n'est-ce pas?) Yet all the time I have been
true to you, parce que je suis bonne fille."</p>
<p>"You lie!" I interrupted. "Did I not see you, the other day, with
Albert—with that black-jowled officer?"</p>
<p>"Oh, oh! Mais tu es—"</p>
<p>"Yes, you are lying right enough. But what makes you suppose that I
should be angry? Rubbish! Il faut que jeunesse se passe. Even if that
officer were here now, I should refrain from putting him out of the
room if I thought you really cared for him. Only, mind you, do not give
him any of my money. You hear?"</p>
<p>"You say, do you, that you would not be angry? Mais tu es un vrai
philosophe, sais-tu? Oui, un vrai philosophe! Eh bien, je t'aimerai, je
t'aimerai. Tu verras-tu seras content."</p>
<p>True enough, from that time onward she seemed to attach herself only to
me, and in this manner we spent our last ten days together. The
promised "etoiles" I did not see, but in other respects she, to a
certain extent, kept her word. Moreover, she introduced me to Hortense,
who was a remarkable woman in her way, and known among us as Therese
Philosophe.</p>
<p>But I need not enlarge further, for to do so would require a story to
itself, and entail a colouring which I am loth to impart to the present
narrative. The point is that with all my faculties I desired the
episode to come to an end as speedily as possible. Unfortunately, our
hundred thousand francs lasted us, as I have said, for very nearly a
month—which greatly surprised me. At all events, Blanche bought
herself articles to the tune of eighty thousand francs, and the rest
sufficed just to meet our expenses of living. Towards the close of the
affair, Blanche grew almost frank with me (at least, she scarcely lied
to me at all)—declaring, amongst other things, that none of the debts
which she had been obliged to incur were going to fall upon my head. "I
have purposely refrained from making you responsible for my bills or
borrowings," she said, "for the reason that I am sorry for you. Any
other woman in my place would have done so, and have let you go to
prison. See, then, how much I love you, and how good-hearted I am!
Think, too, what this accursed marriage with the General is going to
cost me!"</p>
<p>True enough, the marriage took place. It did so at the close of our
month together, and I am bound to suppose that it was upon the ceremony
that the last remnants of my money were spent. With it the
episode—that is to say, my sojourn with the Frenchwoman—came to an
end, and I formally retired from the scene.</p>
<p>It happened thus: A week after we had taken up our abode in Paris there
arrived thither the General. He came straight to see us, and
thenceforward lived with us practically as our guest, though he had a
flat of his own as well. Blanche met him with merry badinage and
laughter, and even threw her arms around him. In fact, she managed it
so that he had to follow everywhere in her train—whether when
promenading on the Boulevards, or when driving, or when going to the
theatre, or when paying calls; and this use which she made of him quite
satisfied the General. Still of imposing appearance and presence, as
well as of fair height, he had a dyed moustache and whiskers (he had
formerly been in the cuirassiers), and a handsome, though a somewhat
wrinkled, face. Also, his manners were excellent, and he could carry a
frockcoat well—the more so since, in Paris, he took to wearing his
orders. To promenade the Boulevards with such a man was not only a
thing possible, but also, so to speak, a thing advisable, and with this
programme the good but foolish General had not a fault to find. The
truth is that he had never counted upon this programme when he came to
Paris to seek us out. On that occasion he had made his appearance
nearly shaking with terror, for he had supposed that Blanche would at
once raise an outcry, and have him put from the door; wherefore, he was
the more enraptured at the turn that things had taken, and spent the
month in a state of senseless ecstasy. Already I had learnt that, after
our unexpected departure from Roulettenberg, he had had a sort of a
fit—that he had fallen into a swoon, and spent a week in a species of
garrulous delirium. Doctors had been summoned to him, but he had broken
away from them, and suddenly taken a train to Paris. Of course
Blanche's reception of him had acted as the best of all possible cures,
but for long enough he carried the marks of his affliction, despite his
present condition of rapture and delight. To think clearly, or even to
engage in any serious conversation, had now become impossible for him;
he could only ejaculate after each word "Hm!" and then nod his head in
confirmation. Sometimes, also, he would laugh, but only in a nervous,
hysterical sort of a fashion; while at other times he would sit for
hours looking as black as night, with his heavy eyebrows knitted. Of
much that went on he remained wholly oblivious, for he grew extremely
absent-minded, and took to talking to himself. Only Blanche could awake
him to any semblance of life. His fits of depression and moodiness in
corners always meant either that he had not seen her for some while, or
that she had gone out without taking him with her, or that she had
omitted to caress him before departing. When in this condition, he
would refuse to say what he wanted—nor had he the least idea that he
was thus sulking and moping. Next, after remaining in this condition
for an hour or two (this I remarked on two occasions when Blanche had
gone out for the day—probably to see Albert), he would begin to look
about him, and to grow uneasy, and to hurry about with an air as though
he had suddenly remembered something, and must try and find it; after
which, not perceiving the object of his search, nor succeeding in
recalling what that object had been, he would as suddenly relapse into
oblivion, and continue so until the reappearance of Blanche—merry,
wanton, half-dressed, and laughing her strident laugh as she approached
to pet him, and even to kiss him (though the latter reward he seldom
received). Once, he was so overjoyed at her doing so that he burst into
tears. Even I myself was surprised.</p>
<p>From the first moment of his arrival in Paris, Blanche set herself to
plead with me on his behalf; and at such times she even rose to heights
of eloquence—saying that it was for ME she had abandoned him, though
she had almost become his betrothed and promised to become so; that it
was for HER sake he had deserted his family; that, having been in his
service, I ought to remember the fact, and to feel ashamed. To all this
I would say nothing, however much she chattered on; until at length I
would burst out laughing, and the incident would come to an end (at
first, as I have said, she had thought me a fool, but since she had
come to deem me a man of sense and sensibility). In short, I had the
happiness of calling her better nature into play; for though, at first,
I had not deemed her so, she was, in reality, a kind-hearted woman
after her own fashion. "You are good and clever," she said to me
towards the finish, "and my one regret is that you are also so
wrong-headed. You will NEVER be a rich man!"</p>
<p>"Un vrai Russe—un Kalmuk" she usually called me.</p>
<p>Several times she sent me to give the General an airing in the streets,
even as she might have done with a lacquey and her spaniel; but, I
preferred to take him to the theatre, to the Bal Mabille, and to
restaurants. For this purpose she usually allowed me some money, though
the General had a little of his own, and enjoyed taking out his purse
before strangers. Once I had to use actual force to prevent him from
buying a phaeton at a price of seven hundred francs, after a vehicle
had caught his fancy in the Palais Royal as seeming to be a desirable
present for Blanche. What could SHE have done with a
seven-hundred-franc phaeton?—and the General possessed in the world
but a thousand francs! The origin even of those francs I could never
determine, but imagined them to have emanated from Mr. Astley—the more
so since the latter had paid the family's hotel bill. As for what view
the General took of myself, I think that he never divined the footing
on which I stood with Blanche. True, he had heard, in a dim sort of
way, that I had won a good deal of money; but more probably he supposed
me to be acting as secretary—or even as a kind of servant—to his
inamorata. At all events, he continued to address me, in his old
haughty style, as my superior. At times he even took it upon himself to
scold me. One morning in particular, he started to sneer at me over our
matutinal coffee. Though not a man prone to take offence, he suddenly,
and for some reason of which to this day I am ignorant, fell out with
me. Of course even he himself did not know the reason. To put things
shortly, he began a speech which had neither beginning nor ending, and
cried out, a batons rompus, that I was a boy whom he would soon put to
rights—and so forth, and so forth. Yet no one could understand what he
was saying, and at length Blanche exploded in a burst of laughter.
Finally something appeased him, and he was taken out for his walk. More
than once, however, I noticed that his depression was growing upon him;
that he seemed to be feeling the want of somebody or something; that,
despite Blanche's presence, he was missing some person in particular.
Twice, on these occasions, did he plunge into a conversation with me,
though he could not make himself intelligible, and only went on
rambling about the service, his late wife, his home, and his property.
Every now and then, also, some particular word would please him;
whereupon he would repeat it a hundred times in the day—even though
the word happened to express neither his thoughts nor his feelings.
Again, I would try to get him to talk about his children, but always he
cut me short in his old snappish way, and passed to another subject.
"Yes, yes—my children," was all that I could extract from him. "Yes,
you are right in what you have said about them." Only once did he
disclose his real feelings. That was when we were taking him to the
theatre, and suddenly he exclaimed: "My unfortunate children! Yes, sir,
they are unfortunate children." Once, too, when I chanced to mention
Polina, he grew quite bitter against her. "She is an ungrateful woman!"
he exclaimed. "She is a bad and ungrateful woman! She has broken up a
family. If there were laws here, I would have her impaled. Yes, I
would." As for De Griers, the General would not have his name
mentioned. "He has ruined me," he would say. "He has robbed me, and cut
my throat. For two years he was a perfect nightmare to me. For months
at a time he never left me in my dreams. Do not speak of him again."</p>
<p>It was now clear to me that Blanche and he were on the point of coming
to terms; yet, true to my usual custom, I said nothing. At length,
Blanche took the initiative in explaining matters. She did so a week
before we parted.</p>
<p>"Il a du chance," she prattled, "for the Grandmother is now REALLY ill,
and therefore, bound to die. Mr. Astley has just sent a telegram to say
so, and you will agree with me that the General is likely to be her
heir. Even if he should not be so, he will not come amiss, since, in
the first place, he has his pension, and, in the second place, he will
be content to live in a back room; whereas I shall be Madame General,
and get into a good circle of society" (she was always thinking of
this) "and become a Russian chatelaine. Yes, I shall have a mansion of
my own, and peasants, and a million of money at my back."</p>
<p>"But, suppose he should prove jealous? He might demand all sorts of
things, you know. Do you follow me?"</p>
<p>"Oh, dear no! How ridiculous that would be of him! Besides, I have
taken measures to prevent it. You need not be alarmed. That is to say,
I have induced him to sign notes of hand in Albert's name.
Consequently, at any time I could get him punished. Isn't he
ridiculous?"</p>
<p>"Very well, then. Marry him."</p>
<p>And, in truth, she did so—though the marriage was a family one only,
and involved no pomp or ceremony. In fact, she invited to the nuptials
none but Albert and a few other friends. Hortense, Cleopatre, and the
rest she kept firmly at a distance. As for the bridegroom, he took a
great interest in his new position. Blanche herself tied his tie, and
Blanche herself pomaded him—with the result that, in his frockcoat and
white waistcoat, he looked quite comme il faut.</p>
<p>"Il est, pourtant, TRES comme il faut," Blanche remarked when she
issued from his room, as though the idea that he was "TRES comme il
faut" had impressed even her. For myself, I had so little knowledge of
the minor details of the affair, and took part in it so much as a
supine spectator, that I have forgotten most of what passed on this
occasion. I only remember that Blanche and the Widow figured at it, not
as "de Cominges," but as "du Placet." Why they had hitherto been "de
Cominges" I do not know—I only know that this entirely satisfied the
General, that he liked the name "du Placet" even better than he had
liked the name "de Cominges." On the morning of the wedding, he paced
the salon in his gala attire and kept repeating to himself with an air
of great gravity and importance: "Mlle. Blanche du Placet! Mlle.
Blanche du Placet, du Placet!" He beamed with satisfaction as he did
so. Both in the church and at the wedding breakfast he remained not
only pleased and contented, but even proud. She too underwent a change,
for now she assumed an air of added dignity.</p>
<p>"I must behave altogether differently," she confided to me with a
serious air. "Yet, mark you, there is a tiresome circumstance of which
I had never before thought—which is, how best to pronounce my new
family name. Zagorianski, Zagozianski, Madame la Generale de Sago,
Madame la Generale de Fourteen Consonants—oh these infernal Russian
names! The LAST of them would be the best to use, don't you think?"</p>
<p>At length the time had come for us to part, and Blanche, the egregious
Blanche, shed real tears as she took her leave of me. "Tu etais bon
enfant" she said with a sob. "Je te croyais bete et tu en avais l'air,
but it suited you." Then, having given me a final handshake, she
exclaimed, "Attends!"; whereafter, running into her boudoir, she
brought me thence two thousand-franc notes. I could scarcely believe my
eyes! "They may come in handy for you," she explained, "for, though you
are a very learned tutor, you are a very stupid man. More than two
thousand francs, however, I am not going to give you, for the reason
that, if I did so, you would gamble them all away. Now good-bye. Nous
serons toujours bons amis, and if you win again, do not fail to come to
me, et tu seras heureux."</p>
<p>I myself had still five hundred francs left, as well as a watch worth a
thousand francs, a few diamond studs, and so on. Consequently, I could
subsist for quite a length of time without particularly bestirring
myself. Purposely I have taken up my abode where I am now partly to
pull myself together, and partly to wait for Mr. Astley, who, I have
learnt, will soon be here for a day or so on business. Yes, I know
that, and then—and then I shall go to Homburg. But to Roulettenberg I
shall not go until next year, for they say it is bad to try one's luck
twice in succession at a table. Moreover, Homburg is where the best
play is carried on.</p>
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