<p><SPAN name="link2H_4_0190" id="link2H_4_0190"></SPAN></p>
<h2> LETTER CLXXXVIII </h2>
<h3> BATH, October 3, 1753 </h3>
<p>MY DEAR FRIEND: You have set out well at The Hague; you are in love with
Madame Munter, which I am very glad of: you are in the fine company there,
and I hope one of it: for it is not enough, at your age, to be merely in
good company; but you should, by your address and attentions, make that
good company think you one of them. There is a tribute due to beauty, even
independently of further views; which tribute I hope you paid with
alacrity to Madame Munter and Madame Degenfeldt: depend upon it, they
expected it, and were offended in proportion as that tribute seemed either
unwillingly or scantily paid. I believe my friend Kreuningen admits nobody
now to his table, for fear of their communicating the plague to him, or at
least the bite of a mad dog. Pray profit of the entrees libres that the
French Ambassador has given you; frequent him, and SPEAK to him. I think
you will not do amiss to call upon Mr. Burrish, at Aix-la-Chapelle, since
it is so little out of your way; and you will do still better, if you
would, which I know you will not, drink those waters for five or six days
only, to scour your stomach and bowels a little; I am sure it would do you
a great deal of good Mr. Burrish can, doubtless, give you the best letters
to Munich; and he will naturally give you some to Comte Preysing, or Comte
Sinsheim, and such sort of grave people; but I could wish that you would
ask him for some to young fellows of pleasure, or fashionable coquettes,
that, you may be 'dans l'honnete debauche de Munich'. A propos of your
future motions; I leave you in a great measure the master of them, so
shall only suggest my thoughts to you upon that subject.</p>
<p>You have three electoral courts in view, Bonn, Munich, and Manheim. I
would advise you to see two of them rather cursorily, and fix your
tabernacle at the third, whichever that may be, for a considerable time.
For instance, should you choose (as I fancy you will), to make Manheim the
place of your residence, stay only ten or twelve days at Bonn, and as long
at Munich, and then go and fix at Manheim; and so, vice versa, if you
should like Bonn or Munich better than you think you would Manheim, make
that the place of your residence, and only visit the other two. It is
certain that no man can be much pleased himself, or please others much, in
any place where he is only a bird of passage for eight or ten days;
neither party thinking it worth while to make an acquaintance, still less
to form any connection, for so short a time; but when months are the case,
a man may domesticate himself pretty well, and very soon not be looked
upon as a stranger. This is the real utility of traveling, when, by
contracting a familiarity at any place, you get into the inside of it, and
see it in its undress. That is the only way of knowing the customs, the
manners, and all the little characteristical peculiarities that
distinguish one place from another; but then this familiarity is not to be
brought about by cold, formal visits of half an hour: no; you must show a
willingness, a desire, an impatience of forming connections, 'il faut s'y
preter, et y mettre du liant, du desir de plaire. Whatever you do approve,
you must be lavish in your praises of; and you must learn to commend what
you do not approve of, if it is approved of there. You are not much given
to praise, I know; but it is because you do not yet know how extremely
people are engaged by a seeming sanction to their own opinions,
prejudices, and weaknesses, even in the merest trifles. Our self-love is
mortified when we think our opinions, and even our tastes, customs, and
dresses, either arraigned or condemned; as on the contrary, it is tickled
and flattered by approbation. I will give you a remarkable instance of
this kind. The famous Earl of Shaftesbury, in the flagitious reign of
Charles the Second, while he was Chancellor, had a mind to be a favorite,
as well as a minister of the King; in order, therefore, to please his
Majesty, whose prevailing passion was women, my Lord kept a w——e,
whom he had no occasion for, and made no manner of use of. The King soon
heard of it, and asked him if it was true; he owned it was; but that,
though he kept that one woman, he had several others besides, for he loved
variety. A few days afterward, the King, at his public levee, saw Lord
Shaftesbury at some distance, and said in the circle, "One would not think
that that little, weak man is the greatest whore-master in England; but I
can assure you that he is." Upon Lord Shaftesbury's coming into the
circle, there was a general smile; the King said, "This is concerning you,
my Lord."—"Me, sir?" answered the Chancellor, with some surprise.
"Yes, you," answered the King; "for I had just said that you were the
greatest whore-master in England! Is it not true?"—"Of a SUBJECT,
Sir," replied Lord Shaftesbury, "perhaps I am." It is the same in
everything; we think a difference of opinion, of conduct, of manners, a
tacit reproach, at least, upon our own; we must therefore use ourselves to
a ready conformity to whatever is neither criminal nor dishonorable.
Whoever differs from any general custom, is supposed both to think, and
proclaim himself wiser than the rest of the world: which the rest of the
world cannot bear, especially in a young man. A young fellow is always
forgiven and often applauded, when he carries a fashion to an excess; but
never if he stops short of it. The first is ascribed to youth and fire;
but the latter is imputed to an affectation of singularity or superiority.
At your age, one is allowed to 'outrer' fashion, dress, vivacity,
gallantry, etc., but by no means to be behindhand in any one of them. And
one may apply to youth in this case, 'Si non errasset, fecerat ille
minus'. Adieu.</p>
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