<p><SPAN name="link2HCH0038" id="link2HCH0038"></SPAN></p>
<h2> CHAPTER XXXVIII </h2>
<p>The novelty of travelling, and the happiness of being with William, soon
produced their natural effect on Fanny's spirits, when Mansfield Park was
fairly left behind; and by the time their first stage was ended, and they
were to quit Sir Thomas's carriage, she was able to take leave of the old
coachman, and send back proper messages, with cheerful looks.</p>
<p>Of pleasant talk between the brother and sister there was no end.
Everything supplied an amusement to the high glee of William's mind, and
he was full of frolic and joke in the intervals of their higher-toned
subjects, all of which ended, if they did not begin, in praise of the
Thrush, conjectures how she would be employed, schemes for an action with
some superior force, which (supposing the first lieutenant out of the way,
and William was not very merciful to the first lieutenant) was to give
himself the next step as soon as possible, or speculations upon
prize-money, which was to be generously distributed at home, with only the
reservation of enough to make the little cottage comfortable, in which he
and Fanny were to pass all their middle and later life together.</p>
<p>Fanny's immediate concerns, as far as they involved Mr. Crawford, made no
part of their conversation. William knew what had passed, and from his
heart lamented that his sister's feelings should be so cold towards a man
whom he must consider as the first of human characters; but he was of an
age to be all for love, and therefore unable to blame; and knowing her
wish on the subject, he would not distress her by the slightest allusion.</p>
<p>She had reason to suppose herself not yet forgotten by Mr. Crawford. She
had heard repeatedly from his sister within the three weeks which had
passed since their leaving Mansfield, and in each letter there had been a
few lines from himself, warm and determined like his speeches. It was a
correspondence which Fanny found quite as unpleasant as she had feared.
Miss Crawford's style of writing, lively and affectionate, was itself an
evil, independent of what she was thus forced into reading from the
brother's pen, for Edmund would never rest till she had read the chief of
the letter to him; and then she had to listen to his admiration of her
language, and the warmth of her attachments. There had, in fact, been so
much of message, of allusion, of recollection, so much of Mansfield in
every letter, that Fanny could not but suppose it meant for him to hear;
and to find herself forced into a purpose of that kind, compelled into a
correspondence which was bringing her the addresses of the man she did not
love, and obliging her to administer to the adverse passion of the man she
did, was cruelly mortifying. Here, too, her present removal promised
advantage. When no longer under the same roof with Edmund, she trusted
that Miss Crawford would have no motive for writing strong enough to
overcome the trouble, and that at Portsmouth their correspondence would
dwindle into nothing.</p>
<p>With such thoughts as these, among ten hundred others, Fanny proceeded in
her journey safely and cheerfully, and as expeditiously as could
rationally be hoped in the dirty month of February. They entered Oxford,
but she could take only a hasty glimpse of Edmund's college as they passed
along, and made no stop anywhere till they reached Newbury, where a
comfortable meal, uniting dinner and supper, wound up the enjoyments and
fatigues of the day.</p>
<p>The next morning saw them off again at an early hour; and with no events,
and no delays, they regularly advanced, and were in the environs of
Portsmouth while there was yet daylight for Fanny to look around her, and
wonder at the new buildings. They passed the drawbridge, and entered the
town; and the light was only beginning to fail as, guided by William's
powerful voice, they were rattled into a narrow street, leading from the
High Street, and drawn up before the door of a small house now inhabited
by Mr. Price.</p>
<p>Fanny was all agitation and flutter; all hope and apprehension. The moment
they stopped, a trollopy-looking maidservant, seemingly in waiting for
them at the door, stepped forward, and more intent on telling the news
than giving them any help, immediately began with, "The Thrush is gone out
of harbour, please sir, and one of the officers has been here to—"
She was interrupted by a fine tall boy of eleven years old, who, rushing
out of the house, pushed the maid aside, and while William was opening the
chaise-door himself, called out, "You are just in time. We have been
looking for you this half-hour. The Thrush went out of harbour this
morning. I saw her. It was a beautiful sight. And they think she will have
her orders in a day or two. And Mr. Campbell was here at four o'clock to
ask for you: he has got one of the Thrush's boats, and is going off to her
at six, and hoped you would be here in time to go with him."</p>
<p>A stare or two at Fanny, as William helped her out of the carriage, was
all the voluntary notice which this brother bestowed; but he made no
objection to her kissing him, though still entirely engaged in detailing
farther particulars of the Thrush's going out of harbour, in which he had
a strong right of interest, being to commence his career of seamanship in
her at this very time.</p>
<p>Another moment and Fanny was in the narrow entrance-passage of the house,
and in her mother's arms, who met her there with looks of true kindness,
and with features which Fanny loved the more, because they brought her
aunt Bertram's before her, and there were her two sisters: Susan, a
well-grown fine girl of fourteen, and Betsey, the youngest of the family,
about five—both glad to see her in their way, though with no
advantage of manner in receiving her. But manner Fanny did not want. Would
they but love her, she should be satisfied.</p>
<p>She was then taken into a parlour, so small that her first conviction was
of its being only a passage-room to something better, and she stood for a
moment expecting to be invited on; but when she saw there was no other
door, and that there were signs of habitation before her, she called back
her thoughts, reproved herself, and grieved lest they should have been
suspected. Her mother, however, could not stay long enough to suspect
anything. She was gone again to the street-door, to welcome William. "Oh!
my dear William, how glad I am to see you. But have you heard about the
Thrush? She is gone out of harbour already; three days before we had any
thought of it; and I do not know what I am to do about Sam's things, they
will never be ready in time; for she may have her orders to-morrow,
perhaps. It takes me quite unawares. And now you must be off for Spithead
too. Campbell has been here, quite in a worry about you; and now what
shall we do? I thought to have had such a comfortable evening with you,
and here everything comes upon me at once."</p>
<p>Her son answered cheerfully, telling her that everything was always for
the best; and making light of his own inconvenience in being obliged to
hurry away so soon.</p>
<p>"To be sure, I had much rather she had stayed in harbour, that I might
have sat a few hours with you in comfort; but as there is a boat ashore, I
had better go off at once, and there is no help for it. Whereabouts does
the Thrush lay at Spithead? Near the Canopus? But no matter; here's Fanny
in the parlour, and why should we stay in the passage? Come, mother, you
have hardly looked at your own dear Fanny yet."</p>
<p>In they both came, and Mrs. Price having kindly kissed her daughter again,
and commented a little on her growth, began with very natural solicitude
to feel for their fatigues and wants as travellers.</p>
<p>"Poor dears! how tired you must both be! and now, what will you have? I
began to think you would never come. Betsey and I have been watching for
you this half-hour. And when did you get anything to eat? And what would
you like to have now? I could not tell whether you would be for some meat,
or only a dish of tea, after your journey, or else I would have got
something ready. And now I am afraid Campbell will be here before there is
time to dress a steak, and we have no butcher at hand. It is very
inconvenient to have no butcher in the street. We were better off in our
last house. Perhaps you would like some tea as soon as it can be got."</p>
<p>They both declared they should prefer it to anything. "Then, Betsey, my
dear, run into the kitchen and see if Rebecca has put the water on; and
tell her to bring in the tea-things as soon as she can. I wish we could
get the bell mended; but Betsey is a very handy little messenger."</p>
<p>Betsey went with alacrity, proud to shew her abilities before her fine new
sister.</p>
<p>"Dear me!" continued the anxious mother, "what a sad fire we have got, and
I dare say you are both starved with cold. Draw your chair nearer, my
dear. I cannot think what Rebecca has been about. I am sure I told her to
bring some coals half an hour ago. Susan, you should have taken care of
the fire."</p>
<p>"I was upstairs, mama, moving my things," said Susan, in a fearless,
self-defending tone, which startled Fanny. "You know you had but just
settled that my sister Fanny and I should have the other room; and I could
not get Rebecca to give me any help."</p>
<p>Farther discussion was prevented by various bustles: first, the driver
came to be paid; then there was a squabble between Sam and Rebecca about
the manner of carrying up his sister's trunk, which he would manage all
his own way; and lastly, in walked Mr. Price himself, his own loud voice
preceding him, as with something of the oath kind he kicked away his son's
port-manteau and his daughter's bandbox in the passage, and called out for
a candle; no candle was brought, however, and he walked into the room.</p>
<p>Fanny with doubting feelings had risen to meet him, but sank down again on
finding herself undistinguished in the dusk, and unthought of. With a
friendly shake of his son's hand, and an eager voice, he instantly began—"Ha!
welcome back, my boy. Glad to see you. Have you heard the news? The Thrush
went out of harbour this morning. Sharp is the word, you see! By G—,
you are just in time! The doctor has been here inquiring for you: he has
got one of the boats, and is to be off for Spithead by six, so you had
better go with him. I have been to Turner's about your mess; it is all in
a way to be done. I should not wonder if you had your orders to-morrow:
but you cannot sail with this wind, if you are to cruise to the westward;
and Captain Walsh thinks you will certainly have a cruise to the westward,
with the Elephant. By G—, I wish you may! But old Scholey was
saying, just now, that he thought you would be sent first to the Texel.
Well, well, we are ready, whatever happens. But by G—, you lost a
fine sight by not being here in the morning to see the Thrush go out of
harbour! I would not have been out of the way for a thousand pounds. Old
Scholey ran in at breakfast-time, to say she had slipped her moorings and
was coming out, I jumped up, and made but two steps to the platform. If
ever there was a perfect beauty afloat, she is one; and there she lays at
Spithead, and anybody in England would take her for an eight-and-twenty. I
was upon the platform two hours this afternoon looking at her. She lays
close to the Endymion, between her and the Cleopatra, just to the eastward
of the sheer hulk."</p>
<p>"Ha!" cried William, "<i>that's</i> just where I should have put her
myself. It's the best berth at Spithead. But here is my sister, sir; here
is Fanny," turning and leading her forward; "it is so dark you do not see
her."</p>
<p>With an acknowledgment that he had quite forgot her, Mr. Price now
received his daughter; and having given her a cordial hug, and observed
that she was grown into a woman, and he supposed would be wanting a
husband soon, seemed very much inclined to forget her again. Fanny shrunk
back to her seat, with feelings sadly pained by his language and his smell
of spirits; and he talked on only to his son, and only of the Thrush,
though William, warmly interested as he was in that subject, more than
once tried to make his father think of Fanny, and her long absence and
long journey.</p>
<p>After sitting some time longer, a candle was obtained; but as there was
still no appearance of tea, nor, from Betsey's reports from the kitchen,
much hope of any under a considerable period, William determined to go and
change his dress, and make the necessary preparations for his removal on
board directly, that he might have his tea in comfort afterwards.</p>
<p>As he left the room, two rosy-faced boys, ragged and dirty, about eight
and nine years old, rushed into it just released from school, and coming
eagerly to see their sister, and tell that the Thrush was gone out of
harbour; Tom and Charles. Charles had been born since Fanny's going away,
but Tom she had often helped to nurse, and now felt a particular pleasure
in seeing again. Both were kissed very tenderly, but Tom she wanted to
keep by her, to try to trace the features of the baby she had loved, and
talked to, of his infant preference of herself. Tom, however, had no mind
for such treatment: he came home not to stand and be talked to, but to run
about and make a noise; and both boys had soon burst from her, and slammed
the parlour-door till her temples ached.</p>
<p>She had now seen all that were at home; there remained only two brothers
between herself and Susan, one of whom was a clerk in a public office in
London, and the other midshipman on board an Indiaman. But though she had
<i>seen</i> all the members of the family, she had not yet <i>heard</i>
all the noise they could make. Another quarter of an hour brought her a
great deal more. William was soon calling out from the landing-place of
the second story for his mother and for Rebecca. He was in distress for
something that he had left there, and did not find again. A key was
mislaid, Betsey accused of having got at his new hat, and some slight, but
essential alteration of his uniform waistcoat, which he had been promised
to have done for him, entirely neglected.</p>
<p>Mrs. Price, Rebecca, and Betsey all went up to defend themselves, all
talking together, but Rebecca loudest, and the job was to be done as well
as it could in a great hurry; William trying in vain to send Betsey down
again, or keep her from being troublesome where she was; the whole of
which, as almost every door in the house was open, could be plainly
distinguished in the parlour, except when drowned at intervals by the
superior noise of Sam, Tom, and Charles chasing each other up and down
stairs, and tumbling about and hallooing.</p>
<p>Fanny was almost stunned. The smallness of the house and thinness of the
walls brought everything so close to her, that, added to the fatigue of
her journey, and all her recent agitation, she hardly knew how to bear it.
<i>Within</i> the room all was tranquil enough, for Susan having
disappeared with the others, there were soon only her father and herself
remaining; and he, taking out a newspaper, the accustomary loan of a
neighbour, applied himself to studying it, without seeming to recollect
her existence. The solitary candle was held between himself and the paper,
without any reference to her possible convenience; but she had nothing to
do, and was glad to have the light screened from her aching head, as she
sat in bewildered, broken, sorrowful contemplation.</p>
<p>She was at home. But, alas! it was not such a home, she had not such a
welcome, as—she checked herself; she was unreasonable. What right
had she to be of importance to her family? She could have none, so long
lost sight of! William's concerns must be dearest, they always had been,
and he had every right. Yet to have so little said or asked about herself,
to have scarcely an inquiry made after Mansfield! It did pain her to have
Mansfield forgotten; the friends who had done so much—the dear, dear
friends! But here, one subject swallowed up all the rest. Perhaps it must
be so. The destination of the Thrush must be now preeminently interesting.
A day or two might shew the difference. <i>She</i> only was to blame. Yet
she thought it would not have been so at Mansfield. No, in her uncle's
house there would have been a consideration of times and seasons, a
regulation of subject, a propriety, an attention towards everybody which
there was not here.</p>
<p>The only interruption which thoughts like these received for nearly half
an hour was from a sudden burst of her father's, not at all calculated to
compose them. At a more than ordinary pitch of thumping and hallooing in
the passage, he exclaimed, "Devil take those young dogs! How they are
singing out! Ay, Sam's voice louder than all the rest! That boy is fit for
a boatswain. Holla, you there! Sam, stop your confounded pipe, or I shall
be after you."</p>
<p>This threat was so palpably disregarded, that though within five minutes
afterwards the three boys all burst into the room together and sat down,
Fanny could not consider it as a proof of anything more than their being
for the time thoroughly fagged, which their hot faces and panting breaths
seemed to prove, especially as they were still kicking each other's shins,
and hallooing out at sudden starts immediately under their father's eye.</p>
<p>The next opening of the door brought something more welcome: it was for
the tea-things, which she had begun almost to despair of seeing that
evening. Susan and an attendant girl, whose inferior appearance informed
Fanny, to her great surprise, that she had previously seen the upper
servant, brought in everything necessary for the meal; Susan looking, as
she put the kettle on the fire and glanced at her sister, as if divided
between the agreeable triumph of shewing her activity and usefulness, and
the dread of being thought to demean herself by such an office. "She had
been into the kitchen," she said, "to hurry Sally and help make the toast,
and spread the bread and butter, or she did not know when they should have
got tea, and she was sure her sister must want something after her
journey."</p>
<p>Fanny was very thankful. She could not but own that she should be very
glad of a little tea, and Susan immediately set about making it, as if
pleased to have the employment all to herself; and with only a little
unnecessary bustle, and some few injudicious attempts at keeping her
brothers in better order than she could, acquitted herself very well.
Fanny's spirit was as much refreshed as her body; her head and heart were
soon the better for such well-timed kindness. Susan had an open, sensible
countenance; she was like William, and Fanny hoped to find her like him in
disposition and goodwill towards herself.</p>
<p>In this more placid state of things William reentered, followed not far
behind by his mother and Betsey. He, complete in his lieutenant's uniform,
looking and moving all the taller, firmer, and more graceful for it, and
with the happiest smile over his face, walked up directly to Fanny, who,
rising from her seat, looked at him for a moment in speechless admiration,
and then threw her arms round his neck to sob out her various emotions of
pain and pleasure.</p>
<p>Anxious not to appear unhappy, she soon recovered herself; and wiping away
her tears, was able to notice and admire all the striking parts of his
dress; listening with reviving spirits to his cheerful hopes of being on
shore some part of every day before they sailed, and even of getting her
to Spithead to see the sloop.</p>
<p>The next bustle brought in Mr. Campbell, the surgeon of the Thrush, a very
well-behaved young man, who came to call for his friend, and for whom
there was with some contrivance found a chair, and with some hasty washing
of the young tea-maker's, a cup and saucer; and after another quarter of
an hour of earnest talk between the gentlemen, noise rising upon noise,
and bustle upon bustle, men and boys at last all in motion together, the
moment came for setting off; everything was ready, William took leave, and
all of them were gone; for the three boys, in spite of their mother's
entreaty, determined to see their brother and Mr. Campbell to the
sally-port; and Mr. Price walked off at the same time to carry back his
neighbour's newspaper.</p>
<p>Something like tranquillity might now be hoped for; and accordingly, when
Rebecca had been prevailed on to carry away the tea-things, and Mrs. Price
had walked about the room some time looking for a shirt-sleeve, which
Betsey at last hunted out from a drawer in the kitchen, the small party of
females were pretty well composed, and the mother having lamented again
over the impossibility of getting Sam ready in time, was at leisure to
think of her eldest daughter and the friends she had come from.</p>
<p>A few inquiries began: but one of the earliest—"How did sister
Bertram manage about her servants?" "Was she as much plagued as herself to
get tolerable servants?"—soon led her mind away from
Northamptonshire, and fixed it on her own domestic grievances, and the
shocking character of all the Portsmouth servants, of whom she believed
her own two were the very worst, engrossed her completely. The Bertrams
were all forgotten in detailing the faults of Rebecca, against whom Susan
had also much to depose, and little Betsey a great deal more, and who did
seem so thoroughly without a single recommendation, that Fanny could not
help modestly presuming that her mother meant to part with her when her
year was up.</p>
<p>"Her year!" cried Mrs. Price; "I am sure I hope I shall be rid of her
before she has staid a year, for that will not be up till November.
Servants are come to such a pass, my dear, in Portsmouth, that it is quite
a miracle if one keeps them more than half a year. I have no hope of ever
being settled; and if I was to part with Rebecca, I should only get
something worse. And yet I do not think I am a very difficult mistress to
please; and I am sure the place is easy enough, for there is always a girl
under her, and I often do half the work myself."</p>
<p>Fanny was silent; but not from being convinced that there might not be a
remedy found for some of these evils. As she now sat looking at Betsey,
she could not but think particularly of another sister, a very pretty
little girl, whom she had left there not much younger when she went into
Northamptonshire, who had died a few years afterwards. There had been
something remarkably amiable about her. Fanny in those early days had
preferred her to Susan; and when the news of her death had at last reached
Mansfield, had for a short time been quite afflicted. The sight of Betsey
brought the image of little Mary back again, but she would not have pained
her mother by alluding to her for the world. While considering her with
these ideas, Betsey, at a small distance, was holding out something to
catch her eyes, meaning to screen it at the same time from Susan's.</p>
<p>"What have you got there, my love?" said Fanny; "come and shew it to me."</p>
<p>It was a silver knife. Up jumped Susan, claiming it as her own, and trying
to get it away; but the child ran to her mother's protection, and Susan
could only reproach, which she did very warmly, and evidently hoping to
interest Fanny on her side. "It was very hard that she was not to have her
<i>own</i> knife; it was her own knife; little sister Mary had left it to
her upon her deathbed, and she ought to have had it to keep herself long
ago. But mama kept it from her, and was always letting Betsey get hold of
it; and the end of it would be that Betsey would spoil it, and get it for
her own, though mama had <i>promised</i> her that Betsey should not have
it in her own hands."</p>
<p>Fanny was quite shocked. Every feeling of duty, honour, and tenderness was
wounded by her sister's speech and her mother's reply.</p>
<p>"Now, Susan," cried Mrs. Price, in a complaining voice, "now, how can you
be so cross? You are always quarrelling about that knife. I wish you would
not be so quarrelsome. Poor little Betsey; how cross Susan is to you! But
you should not have taken it out, my dear, when I sent you to the drawer.
You know I told you not to touch it, because Susan is so cross about it. I
must hide it another time, Betsey. Poor Mary little thought it would be
such a bone of contention when she gave it me to keep, only two hours
before she died. Poor little soul! she could but just speak to be heard,
and she said so prettily, 'Let sister Susan have my knife, mama, when I am
dead and buried.' Poor little dear! she was so fond of it, Fanny, that she
would have it lay by her in bed, all through her illness. It was the gift
of her good godmother, old Mrs. Admiral Maxwell, only six weeks before she
was taken for death. Poor little sweet creature! Well, she was taken away
from evil to come. My own Betsey" (fondling her), "<i>you</i> have not the
luck of such a good godmother. Aunt Norris lives too far off to think of
such little people as you."</p>
<p>Fanny had indeed nothing to convey from aunt Norris, but a message to say
she hoped that her god-daughter was a good girl, and learnt her book.
There had been at one moment a slight murmur in the drawing-room at
Mansfield Park about sending her a prayer-book; but no second sound had
been heard of such a purpose. Mrs. Norris, however, had gone home and
taken down two old prayer-books of her husband with that idea; but, upon
examination, the ardour of generosity went off. One was found to have too
small a print for a child's eyes, and the other to be too cumbersome for
her to carry about.</p>
<p>Fanny, fatigued and fatigued again, was thankful to accept the first
invitation of going to bed; and before Betsey had finished her cry at
being allowed to sit up only one hour extraordinary in honour of sister,
she was off, leaving all below in confusion and noise again; the boys
begging for toasted cheese, her father calling out for his rum and water,
and Rebecca never where she ought to be.</p>
<p>There was nothing to raise her spirits in the confined and scantily
furnished chamber that she was to share with Susan. The smallness of the
rooms above and below, indeed, and the narrowness of the passage and
staircase, struck her beyond her imagination. She soon learned to think
with respect of her own little attic at Mansfield Park, in <i>that</i>
house reckoned too small for anybody's comfort.</p>
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