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<h2>VOLUME THE SECOND.</h2>
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<h2>CHAPTER I.</h2>
<p>I have stated the narrative of Mr. Collins, interspersed with such other
information as I was able to collect, with all the exactness that my memory,
assisted by certain memorandums I made at the time, will afford. I do not
pretend to warrant the authenticity of any part of these memoirs, except so
much as fell under my own knowledge, and that part shall be given with the
same simplicity and accuracy, that I would observe towards a court which was
to decide in the last resort upon every thing dear to me. The same
scrupulous fidelity restrains me from altering the manner of Mr. Collins's
narrative to adapt it to the precepts of my own taste; and it will soon be
perceived how essential that narrative is to the elucidation of my
history.</p>
<p>The intention of my friend in this communication was to give me ease; but
he in reality added to my embarrassment. Hitherto I had had no intercourse
with the world and its passions; and, though I was not totally unacquainted
with them as they appear in books, this proved of little service to me when
I came to witness them myself. The case seemed entirely altered, when the
subject of those passions was continually before my eyes, and the events had
happened but the other day as it were, in the very neighbourhood where I
lived. There was a connection and progress in this narrative, which made it
altogether unlike the little village incidents I had hitherto known. My
feelings were successively interested for the different persons that were
brought upon the scene. My veneration was excited for Mr. Clare, and my
applause for the intrepidity of Mrs. Hammond. I was astonished that any
human creature should be so shockingly perverted as Mr. Tyrrel. I paid the
tribute of my tears to the memory of the artless Miss Melville. I found a
thousand fresh reasons to admire and love Mr. Falkland.</p>
<p>At present I was satisfied with thus considering every incident in its
obvious sense. But the story I had heard was for ever in my thoughts, and I
was peculiarly interested to comprehend its full import. I turned it a
thousand ways, and examined it in every point of view. In the original
communication it appeared sufficiently distinct and satisfactory; but as I
brooded over it, it gradually became mysterious. There was something strange
in the character of Hawkins. So firm, so sturdily honest and just, as he
appeared at first; all at once to become a murderer! His first behaviour
under the prosecution, how accurately was it calculated to prepossess one in
his favour! To be sure, if he were guilty, it was unpardonable in him to
permit a man of so much dignity and worth as Mr. Falkland to suffer under
the imputation of his crime! And yet I could not help bitterly
compassionating the honest fellow, brought to the gallows, as he was,
strictly speaking, by the machinations of that devil incarnate, Mr. Tyrrel.
His son, too, that son for whom he voluntarily sacrificed his all, to die
with him at the same tree; surely never was a story more affecting!</p>
<p>Was it possible, after all, that Mr. Falkland should be the murderer? The
reader will scarcely believe, that the idea suggested itself to my mind that
I would ask him. It was but a passing thought; but it serves to mark the
simplicity of my character. Then I recollected the virtues of my master,
almost too sublime for human nature; I thought of his sufferings so
unexampled, so unmerited; and chid myself for the suspicion. The dying
confession of Hawkins recurred to my mind; and I felt that there was no
longer a possibility of doubting. And yet what was the meaning of all Mr.
Falkland's agonies and terrors? In fine, the idea having once occurred to my
mind, it was fixed there for ever. My thoughts fluctuated from conjecture to
conjecture, but this was the centre about which they revolved. I determined
to place myself as a watch upon my patron.</p>
<p>The instant I had chosen this employment for myself, I found a strange
sort of pleasure in it. To do what is forbidden always has its charms,
because we have an indistinct apprehension of something arbitrary and
tyrannical in the prohibition. To be a spy upon Mr. Falkland! That there was
danger in the employment, served to give an alluring pungency to the choice.
I remembered the stern reprimand I had received, and his terrible looks; and
the recollection gave a kind of tingling sensation, not altogether unallied
to enjoyment. The further I advanced, the more the sensation was
irresistible. I seemed to myself perpetually upon the brink of being
countermined, and perpetually roused to guard my designs. The more
impenetrable Mr. Falkland was determined to be, the more uncontrollable was
my curiosity. Through the whole, my alarm and apprehension of personal
danger had a large mixture of frankness and simplicity, conscious of meaning
no ill, that made me continually ready to say every thing that was upon my
mind, and would not suffer me to believe that, when things were brought to
the test, any one could be seriously angry with me.</p>
<p>These reflections led gradually to a new state of my mind. When I had
first removed into Mr. Falkland's family, the novelty of the scene rendered
me cautious and reserved. The distant and solemn manners of my master seemed
to have annihilated my constitutional gaiety. But the novelty by degrees
wore off, and my constraint in the same degree diminished. The story I had
now heard, and the curiosity it excited, restored to me activity, eagerness,
and courage. I had always had a propensity to communicate my thoughts; my
age was, of course, inclined to talkativeness; and I ventured occasionally
in a sort of hesitating way, as if questioning whether such a conduct might
be allowed, to express my sentiments as they arose, in the presence of Mr.
Falkland.</p>
<p>The first time I did so, he looked at me with an air of surprise, made me
no answer, and presently took occasion to leave me. The experiment was soon
after repeated. My master seemed half inclined to encourage me, and yet
doubtful whether he might venture.</p>
<p>He had long been a stranger to pleasure of every sort, and my artless and
untaught remarks appeared to promise him some amusement. Could an amusement
of this sort be dangerous?</p>
<p>In this uncertainty he could not probably find it in his heart to treat
with severity my innocent effusions. I needed but little encouragement; for
the perturbation of my mind stood in want of this relief. My simplicity,
arising from my being a total stranger to the intercourse of the world, was
accompanied with a mind in some degree cultivated with reading, and perhaps
not altogether destitute of observation and talent. My remarks were
therefore perpetually unexpected, at one time implying extreme ignorance,
and at another some portion of acuteness, but at all times having an air of
innocence, frankness, and courage. There was still an apparent want of
design in the manner, even after I was excited accurately to compare my
observations, and study the inferences to which they led; for the effect of
old habit was more visible than that of a recently conceived purpose which
was yet scarcely mature.</p>
<p>Mr. Falkland's situation was like that of a fish that plays with the bait
employed to entrap him. By my manner he was in a certain degree encouraged
to lay aside his usual reserve, and relax his stateliness; till some abrupt
observation or interrogatory stung him into recollection, and brought back
his alarm. Still it was evident that he bore about him a secret wound.
Whenever the cause of his sorrows was touched, though in a manner the most
indirect and remote, his countenance altered, his distemper returned, and it
was with difficulty that he could suppress his emotions, sometimes
conquering himself with painful effort, and sometimes bursting into a sort
of paroxysm of insanity, and hastening to bury himself in solitude.</p>
<p>These appearances I too frequently interpreted into grounds of suspicion,
though I might with equal probability and more liberality have ascribed them
to the cruel mortifications he had encountered in the objects of his darling
ambition. Mr. Collins had strongly urged me to secrecy; and Mr. Falkland,
whenever my gesture or his consciousness impressed him with the idea of my
knowing more than I expressed, looked at me with wistful earnestness, as
questioning what was the degree of information I possessed, and how it was
obtained. But again at our next interview the simple vivacity of my manner
restored his tranquillity, obliterated the emotion of which I had been the
cause, and placed things afresh in their former situation.</p>
<p>The longer this humble familiarity on my part had continued, the more
effort it would require to suppress it; and Mr. Falkland was neither willing
to mortify me by a severe prohibition of speech, nor even perhaps to make me
of so much consequence, as that prohibition might seem to imply. Though I
was curious, it must not be supposed that I had the object of my enquiry for
ever in my mind, or that my questions and innuendoes were perpetually
regulated with the cunning of a grey-headed inquisitor. The secret wound of
Mr. Falkland's mind was much more uniformly present to his recollection than
to mine; and a thousand times he applied the remarks that occurred in
conversation; when I had not the remotest idea of such an application, till
some singularity in his manner brought it back to my thoughts. The
consciousness of this morbid sensibility, and the imagination that its
influence might perhaps constitute the whole of the case, served probably to
spur Mr. Falkland again to the charge, and connect a sentiment of shame,
with every project that suggested itself for interrupting the freedom of our
intercourse.</p>
<p>I will give a specimen of the conversations to which I allude; and, as it
shall be selected from those which began upon topics the most general and
remote, the reader will easily imagine the disturbance that was almost daily
endured by a mind so tremblingly alive as that of my patron.</p>
<p>"Pray, sir," said I, one day as I was assisting Mr. Falkland in arranging
some papers, previously to their being transcribed into his collection, "how
came Alexander of Macedon to be surnamed the Great?"</p>
<p>"How came it? Did you never read his history?"</p>
<p>"Yes, sir."</p>
<p>"Well, Williams, and could you find no reasons there?"</p>
<p>"Why, I do not know, sir. I could find reasons why he should be so
famous; but every man that is talked of is not admired. Judges differ about
the merits of Alexander. Doctor Prideaux says in his Connection, that he
deserves only to be called the Great Cut-throat; and the author of Tom Jones
has written a volume, to prove that he and all other conquerors ought to be
classed with Jonathan Wild."</p>
<p>Mr. Falkland reddened at these citations.</p>
<p>"Accursed blasphemy! Did these authors think that, by the coarseness of
their ribaldry, they could destroy his well-earned fame? Are learning,
sensibility, and taste, no securities to exempt their possessor from this
vulgar abuse? Did you ever read, Williams, of a man more gallant, generous,
and free? Was ever mortal so completely the reverse of every thing
engrossing and selfish? He formed to himself a sublime image of excellence,
and his only ambition was to realise it in his own story. Remember his
giving away every thing when he set out upon his grand expedition,
professedly reserving for himself nothing but hope. Recollect his heroic
confidence in Philip the physician, and his entire and unalterable
friendship for Ephestion. He treated the captive family of Darius with the
most cordial urbanity, and the venerable Sysigambis with all the tenderness
and attention of a son to his mother. Never take the judgment, Williams,
upon such a subject, of a clerical pedant or a Westminster justice. Examine
for yourself, and you will find in Alexander a model of honour, generosity,
and disinterestedness,—a man who, for the cultivated liberality of his
mind, and the unparalleled grandeur of his projects, must stand alone the
spectacle and admiration of all ages of the world."</p>
<p>"Ah, sir! it is a fine thing for us to sit here and compose his
panegyric. But shall I forget what a vast expense was bestowed in erecting
the monument of his fame? Was not he the common disturber of mankind? Did
not he over-run nations that would never have heard of him but for his
devastations? How many hundred thousands of lives did he sacrifice in his
career? What must I think of his cruelties; a whole tribe massacred for a
crime committed by their ancestors one hundred and fifty years before; fifty
thousand sold into slavery; two thousand crucified for their gallant defence
of their country? Man is surely a strange sort of creature, who never
praises any one more heartily than him who has spread destruction and ruin
over the face of nations!"</p>
<p>"The way of thinking you express, Williams, is natural enough, and I
cannot blame you for it. But let me hope that you will become more liberal.
The death of a hundred thousand men is at first sight very shocking; but
what in reality are a hundred thousand such men, more than a hundred
thousand sheep? It is mind, Williams, the generation of knowledge and
virtue, that we ought to love. This was the project of Alexander; he set out
in a great undertaking to civilise mankind; he delivered the vast continent
of Asia from the stupidity and degradation of the Persian monarchy: and,
though he was cut off in the midst of his career, we may easily perceive the
vast effects of his project. Grecian literature and cultivation, the
Seleucidae, the Antiochuses, and the Ptolemies followed, in nations which
before had been sunk to the condition of brutes. Alexander was the builder,
as notoriously as the destroyer, of cities."</p>
<p>"And yet, sir, I am afraid that the pike and the battle-axe are not the
right instruments for making men wise. Suppose it were admitted that the
lives of men were to be sacrificed without remorse if a paramount good were
to result, it seems to me as if murder and massacre were but a very
left-handed way of producing civilisation and love. But pray, do not you
think this great hero was a sort of a madman? What now will you say to his
firing the palace of Persepolis, his weeping for other worlds to conquer,
and his marching his whole army over the burning sands of Libya, merely to
visit a temple, and persuade mankind that he was the son of Jupiter
Ammon?"</p>
<p>"Alexander, my boy, has been much misunderstood. Mankind have revenged
themselves upon him by misrepresentation, for having so far eclipsed the
rest of his species. It was necessary to the realising his project, that he
should pass for a god. It was the only way by which he could get a firm hold
upon the veneration of the stupid and bigoted Persians. It was this, and not
a mad vanity, that was the source of his proceeding. And how much had he to
struggle with in this respect, in the unapprehending obstinacy of some of
his Macedonians?"</p>
<p>"Why then, sir, at last Alexander did but employ means that all
politicians profess to use, as well as he. He dragooned men into wisdom, and
cheated them into the pursuit of their own happiness. But what is worse,
sir, this Alexander, in the paroxysm of his headlong rage, spared neither
friend nor foe. You will not pretend to justify the excesses of his
ungovernable passion. It is impossible, sure, that a word can be said for a
man whom a momentary provocation can hurry into the commission of
murders—"</p>
<p>The instant I had uttered these words, I felt what it was that I had
done. There was a magnetical sympathy between me and my patron, so that
their effect was not sooner produced upon him, than my own mind reproached
me with the inhumanity of the allusion. Our confusion was mutual. The blood
forsook at once the transparent complexion of Mr. Falkland, and then rushed
back again with rapidity and fierceness. I dared not utter a word, lest I
should commit a new error, worse than that into which I had just fallen.
After a short, but severe, struggle to continue the conversation, Mr.
Falkland began with trepidation, but afterwards became calmer:—</p>
<p>"You are not candid—Alexander—You must learn more
clemency—Alexander, I say, does not deserve this rigour. Do you
remember his tears, his remorse, his determined abstinence from food, which
he could scarcely be persuaded to relinquish? Did not that prove acute
feeling and a rooted principle of equity?—Well, well, Alexander was a
true and judicious lover of mankind, and his real merits have been little
comprehended."</p>
<p>I know not how to make the state of my mind at that moment accurately
understood. When one idea has got possession of the soul, it is scarcely
possible to keep it from finding its way to the lips. Error, once committed,
has a fascinating power, like that ascribed to the eyes of the rattlesnake,
to draw us into a second error. It deprives us of that proud confidence in
our own strength, to which we are indebted for so much of our virtue.
Curiosity is a restless propensity, and often does but hurry us forward the
more irresistibly, the greater is the danger that attends its
indulgence.</p>
<p>"Clitus," said I, "was a man of very coarse and provoking manners, was he
not?"</p>
<p>Mr. Falkland felt the full force of this appeal. He gave me a penetrating
look, as if he would see my very soul. His eyes were then in an instant
withdrawn. I could perceive him seized with a convulsive shuddering which,
though strongly counteracted, and therefore scarcely visible, had I know not
what of terrible in it. He left his employment, strode about the room in
anger, his visage gradually assumed an expression as of supernatural
barbarity, he quitted the apartment abruptly, and flung the door with a
violence that seemed to shake the house.</p>
<p>"Is this," said I, "the fruit of conscious guilt, or of the disgust that
a man of honour conceives at guilt undeservedly imputed?"</p>
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