<h2><SPAN name="link2H_4_0031" id="link2H_4_0031"></SPAN> FREDERICK AND CATHERINE </h2>
<p>There was once a man called Frederick: he had a wife whose name was
Catherine, and they had not long been married. One day Frederick said.
‘Kate! I am going to work in the fields; when I come back I shall be
hungry so let me have something nice cooked, and a good draught of ale.’
‘Very well,’ said she, ‘it shall all be ready.’ When dinner-time drew
nigh, Catherine took a nice steak, which was all the meat she had, and put
it on the fire to fry. The steak soon began to look brown, and to crackle
in the pan; and Catherine stood by with a fork and turned it: then she
said to herself, ‘The steak is almost ready, I may as well go to the
cellar for the ale.’ So she left the pan on the fire and took a large jug
and went into the cellar and tapped the ale cask. The beer ran into the
jug and Catherine stood looking on. At last it popped into her head, ‘The
dog is not shut up—he may be running away with the steak; that’s
well thought of.’ So up she ran from the cellar; and sure enough the
rascally cur had got the steak in his mouth, and was making off with it.</p>
<p>Away ran Catherine, and away ran the dog across the field: but he ran
faster than she, and stuck close to the steak. ‘It’s all gone, and “what
can’t be cured must be endured”,’ said Catherine. So she turned round; and
as she had run a good way and was tired, she walked home leisurely to cool
herself.</p>
<p>Now all this time the ale was running too, for Catherine had not turned
the cock; and when the jug was full the liquor ran upon the floor till the
cask was empty. When she got to the cellar stairs she saw what had
happened. ‘My stars!’ said she, ‘what shall I do to keep Frederick from
seeing all this slopping about?’ So she thought a while; and at last
remembered that there was a sack of fine meal bought at the last fair, and
that if she sprinkled this over the floor it would suck up the ale nicely.
‘What a lucky thing,’ said she, ‘that we kept that meal! we have now a
good use for it.’ So away she went for it: but she managed to set it down
just upon the great jug full of beer, and upset it; and thus all the ale
that had been saved was set swimming on the floor also. ‘Ah! well,’ said
she, ‘when one goes another may as well follow.’ Then she strewed the meal
all about the cellar, and was quite pleased with her cleverness, and said,
‘How very neat and clean it looks!’</p>
<p>At noon Frederick came home. ‘Now, wife,’ cried he, ‘what have you for
dinner?’ ‘O Frederick!’ answered she, ‘I was cooking you a steak; but
while I went down to draw the ale, the dog ran away with it; and while I
ran after him, the ale ran out; and when I went to dry up the ale with the
sack of meal that we got at the fair, I upset the jug: but the cellar is
now quite dry, and looks so clean!’ ‘Kate, Kate,’ said he, ‘how could you
do all this?’ Why did you leave the steak to fry, and the ale to run, and
then spoil all the meal?’ ‘Why, Frederick,’ said she, ‘I did not know I
was doing wrong; you should have told me before.’</p>
<p>The husband thought to himself, ‘If my wife manages matters thus, I must
look sharp myself.’ Now he had a good deal of gold in the house: so he
said to Catherine, ‘What pretty yellow buttons these are! I shall put them
into a box and bury them in the garden; but take care that you never go
near or meddle with them.’ ‘No, Frederick,’ said she, ‘that I never will.’
As soon as he was gone, there came by some pedlars with earthenware plates
and dishes, and they asked her whether she would buy. ‘Oh dear me, I
should like to buy very much, but I have no money: if you had any use for
yellow buttons, I might deal with you.’ ‘Yellow buttons!’ said they: ‘let
us have a look at them.’ ‘Go into the garden and dig where I tell you, and
you will find the yellow buttons: I dare not go myself.’ So the rogues
went: and when they found what these yellow buttons were, they took them
all away, and left her plenty of plates and dishes. Then she set them all
about the house for a show: and when Frederick came back, he cried out,
‘Kate, what have you been doing?’ ‘See,’ said she, ‘I have bought all
these with your yellow buttons: but I did not touch them myself; the
pedlars went themselves and dug them up.’ ‘Wife, wife,’ said Frederick,
‘what a pretty piece of work you have made! those yellow buttons were all
my money: how came you to do such a thing?’ ‘Why,’ answered she, ‘I did
not know there was any harm in it; you should have told me.’</p>
<p>Catherine stood musing for a while, and at last said to her husband, ‘Hark
ye, Frederick, we will soon get the gold back: let us run after the
thieves.’ ‘Well, we will try,’ answered he; ‘but take some butter and
cheese with you, that we may have something to eat by the way.’ ‘Very
well,’ said she; and they set out: and as Frederick walked the fastest, he
left his wife some way behind. ‘It does not matter,’ thought she: ‘when we
turn back, I shall be so much nearer home than he.’</p>
<p>Presently she came to the top of a hill, down the side of which there was
a road so narrow that the cart wheels always chafed the trees on each side
as they passed. ‘Ah, see now,’ said she, ‘how they have bruised and
wounded those poor trees; they will never get well.’ So she took pity on
them, and made use of the butter to grease them all, so that the wheels
might not hurt them so much. While she was doing this kind office one of
her cheeses fell out of the basket, and rolled down the hill. Catherine
looked, but could not see where it had gone; so she said, ‘Well, I suppose
the other will go the same way and find you; he has younger legs than I
have.’ Then she rolled the other cheese after it; and away it went, nobody
knows where, down the hill. But she said she supposed that they knew the
road, and would follow her, and she could not stay there all day waiting
for them.</p>
<p>At last she overtook Frederick, who desired her to give him something to
eat. Then she gave him the dry bread. ‘Where are the butter and cheese?’
said he. ‘Oh!’ answered she, ‘I used the butter to grease those poor trees
that the wheels chafed so: and one of the cheeses ran away so I sent the
other after it to find it, and I suppose they are both on the road
together somewhere.’ ‘What a goose you are to do such silly things!’ said
the husband. ‘How can you say so?’ said she; ‘I am sure you never told me
not.’</p>
<p>They ate the dry bread together; and Frederick said, ‘Kate, I hope you
locked the door safe when you came away.’ ‘No,’ answered she, ‘you did not
tell me.’ ‘Then go home, and do it now before we go any farther,’ said
Frederick, ‘and bring with you something to eat.’</p>
<p>Catherine did as he told her, and thought to herself by the way,
‘Frederick wants something to eat; but I don’t think he is very fond of
butter and cheese: I’ll bring him a bag of fine nuts, and the vinegar, for
I have often seen him take some.’</p>
<p>When she reached home, she bolted the back door, but the front door she
took off the hinges, and said, ‘Frederick told me to lock the door, but
surely it can nowhere be so safe if I take it with me.’ So she took her
time by the way; and when she overtook her husband she cried out, ‘There,
Frederick, there is the door itself, you may watch it as carefully as you
please.’ ‘Alas! alas!’ said he, ‘what a clever wife I have! I sent you to
make the house fast, and you take the door away, so that everybody may go
in and out as they please—however, as you have brought the door, you
shall carry it about with you for your pains.’ ‘Very well,’ answered she,
‘I’ll carry the door; but I’ll not carry the nuts and vinegar bottle also—that
would be too much of a load; so if you please, I’ll fasten them to the
door.’</p>
<p>Frederick of course made no objection to that plan, and they set off into
the wood to look for the thieves; but they could not find them: and when
it grew dark, they climbed up into a tree to spend the night there.
Scarcely were they up, than who should come by but the very rogues they
were looking for. They were in truth great rascals, and belonged to that
class of people who find things before they are lost; they were tired; so
they sat down and made a fire under the very tree where Frederick and
Catherine were. Frederick slipped down on the other side, and picked up
some stones. Then he climbed up again, and tried to hit the thieves on the
head with them: but they only said, ‘It must be near morning, for the wind
shakes the fir-apples down.’</p>
<p>Catherine, who had the door on her shoulder, began to be very tired; but
she thought it was the nuts upon it that were so heavy: so she said
softly, ‘Frederick, I must let the nuts go.’ ‘No,’ answered he, ‘not now,
they will discover us.’ ‘I can’t help that: they must go.’ ‘Well, then,
make haste and throw them down, if you will.’ Then away rattled the nuts
down among the boughs and one of the thieves cried, ‘Bless me, it is
hailing.’</p>
<p>A little while after, Catherine thought the door was still very heavy: so
she whispered to Frederick, ‘I must throw the vinegar down.’ ‘Pray don’t,’
answered he, ‘it will discover us.’ ‘I can’t help that,’ said she, ‘go it
must.’ So she poured all the vinegar down; and the thieves said, ‘What a
heavy dew there is!’</p>
<p>At last it popped into Catherine’s head that it was the door itself that
was so heavy all the time: so she whispered, ‘Frederick, I must throw the
door down soon.’ But he begged and prayed her not to do so, for he was
sure it would betray them. ‘Here goes, however,’ said she: and down went
the door with such a clatter upon the thieves, that they cried out
‘Murder!’ and not knowing what was coming, ran away as fast as they could,
and left all the gold. So when Frederick and Catherine came down, there
they found all their money safe and sound.</p>
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