<h2><SPAN name="Chapter_XLIX" id="Chapter_XLIX"></SPAN>Chapter XLIX</h2>
<p>I lived at the Hotel de la Fleur, and Mrs. Johnson, the
proprietress, had a sad story to tell of lost opportunity.
After Strickland's death certain of his effects were sold by
auction in the market-place at Papeete, and she went to it
herself because there was among the truck an American stove
she wanted. She paid twenty-seven francs for it.</p>
<p>"There were a dozen pictures," she told me, "but they were
unframed, and nobody wanted them. Some of them sold for as
much as ten francs, but mostly they went for five or six.
Just think, if I had bought them I should be a rich woman now."</p>
<p>But Tiare Johnson would never under any circumstances have
been rich. She could not keep money. The daughter of a
native and an English sea-captain settled in Tahiti, when I
knew her she was a woman of fifty, who looked older, and of
enormous proportions. Tall and extremely stout, she would
have been of imposing presence if the great good-nature of her
face had not made it impossible for her to express anything
but kindliness. Her arms were like legs of mutton, her
breasts like giant cabbages; her face, broad and fleshy, gave
you an impression of almost indecent nakedness, and vast chin
succeeded to vast chin. I do not know how many of them there were.
They fell away voluminously into the capaciousness of her bosom.
She was dressed usually in a pink Mother Hubbard,
and she wore all day long a large straw hat. But when she let
down her hair, which she did now and then, for she was vain of
it, you saw that it was long and dark and curly; and her eyes
had remained young and vivacious. Her laughter was the most
catching I ever heard; it would begin, a low peal in her throat,
and would grow louder and louder till her whole vast
body shook. She loved three things—a joke, a glass of
wine, and a handsome man. To have known her is a privilege.</p>
<p>She was the best cook on the island, and she adored good food.
From morning till night you saw her sitting on a low chair in
the kitchen, surrounded by a Chinese cook and two or three
native girls, giving her orders, chatting sociably with all
and sundry, and tasting the savoury messes she devised. When
she wished to do honour to a friend she cooked the dinner with
her own hands. Hospitality was a passion with her, and there
was no one on the island who need go without a dinner when
there was anything to eat at the Hotel de la Fleur. She never
turned her customers out of her house because they did not pay
their bills. She always hoped they would pay when they could.
There was one man there who had fallen on adversity, and to
him she had given board and lodging for several months.
When the Chinese laundryman refused to wash for him without
payment she had sent his things to be washed with hers. She could
not allow the poor fellow to go about in a dirty shirt, she said,
and since he was a man, and men must smoke, she gave him a
franc a day for cigarettes. She used him with the same
affability as those of her clients who paid their bills once a week.</p>
<p>Age and obesity had made her inapt for love, but she took a
keen interest in the amatory affairs of the young. She looked
upon venery as the natural occupation for men and women, and
was ever ready with precept and example from her own wide experience.</p>
<p>"I was not fifteen when my father found that I had a lover,"
she said. "He was third mate on the <i>Tropic Bird</i>.
A good-looking boy."</p>
<p>She sighed a little. They say a woman always remembers her
first lover with affection; but perhaps she does not always
remember him.</p>
<p>"My father was a sensible man."</p>
<p>"What did he do?" I asked.</p>
<p>"He thrashed me within an inch of my life, and then he made me
marry Captain Johnson. I did not mind. He was older,
of course, but he was good-looking too."</p>
<p>Tiare—her father had called her by the name of the white,
scented flower which, they tell you, if you have once smelt,
will always draw you back to Tahiti in the end, however far
you may have roamed—Tiare remembered Strickland very well.</p>
<p>"He used to come here sometimes, and I used to see him walking
about Papeete. I was sorry for him, he was so thin, and he
never had any money. When I heard he was in town, I used to
send a boy to find him and make him come to dinner with me.
I got him a job once or twice, but he couldn't stick to
anything. After a little while he wanted to get back to the
bush, and one morning he would be gone."</p>
<p>Strickland reached Tahiti about six months after he left
Marseilles. He worked his passage on a sailing vessel that
was making the trip from Auckland to San Francisco, and he
arrived with a box of paints, an easel, and a dozen canvases.
He had a few pounds in his pocket, for he had found work in
Sydney, and he took a small room in a native house outside the town.
I think the moment he reached Tahiti he felt himself at home.
Tiare told me that he said to her once:</p>
<p>"I'd been scrubbing the deck, and all at once a chap said to me:
'Why, there it is.' And I looked up and I saw the outline
of the island. I knew right away that there was the place I'd
been looking for all my life. Then we came near, and I seemed
to recognise it. Sometimes when I walk about it all seems familiar.
I could swear I've lived here before."</p>
<p>"Sometimes it takes them like that," said Tiare. "I've known
men come on shore for a few hours while their ship was taking
in cargo, and never go back. And I've known men who came here
to be in an office for a year, and they cursed the place, and
when they went away they took their dying oath they'd hang
themselves before they came back again, and in six months
you'd see them land once more, and they'd tell you they
couldn't live anywhere else."</p>
<hr style="width: 65%;" />
<h2><SPAN name="Chapter_L" id="Chapter_L"></SPAN>Chapter L</h2>
<p>I have an idea that some men are born out of their due place.
Accident has cast them amid certain surroundings, but they
have always a nostalgia for a home they know not. They are
strangers in their birthplace, and the leafy lanes they have
known from childhood or the populous streets in which they
have played, remain but a place of passage. They may spend
their whole lives aliens among their kindred and remain aloof
among the only scenes they have ever known. Perhaps it is
this sense of strangeness that sends men far and wide in the
search for something permanent, to which they may attach
themselves. Perhaps some deep-rooted atavism urges the
wanderer back to lands which his ancestors left in the dim
beginnings of history. Sometimes a man hits upon a place to
which he mysteriously feels that he belongs. Here is the home
he sought, and he will settle amid scenes that he has never
seen before, among men he has never known, as though they were
familiar to him from his birth. Here at last he finds rest.</p>
<p>I told Tiare the story of a man I had known at St. Thomas's
Hospital. He was a Jew named Abraham, a blond, rather stout
young man, shy and very unassuming; but he had remarkable gifts.
He entered the hospital with a scholarship, and during
the five years of the curriculum gained every prize that was
open to him. He was made house-physician and house-surgeon.
His brilliance was allowed by all. Finally he was elected to
a position on the staff, and his career was assured. So far
as human things can be predicted, it was certain that he would
rise to the greatest heights of his profession. Honours and
wealth awaited him. Before he entered upon his new duties he
wished to take a holiday, and, having no private means,
he went as surgeon on a tramp steamer to the Levant.
It did not generally carry a doctor, but one of the senior
surgeons at the hospital knew a director of the line,
and Abraham was taken as a favour.</p>
<p>In a few weeks the authorities received his resignation of the
coveted position on the staff. It created profound
astonishment, and wild rumours were current. Whenever a man
does anything unexpected, his fellows ascribe it to the most
discreditable motives. But there was a man ready to step into
Abraham's shoes, and Abraham was forgotten. Nothing more was
heard of him. He vanished.</p>
<p>It was perhaps ten years later that one morning on board ship,
about to land at Alexandria, I was bidden to line up with the
other passengers for the doctor's examination. The doctor was
a stout man in shabby clothes, and when he took off his hat I
noticed that he was very bald. I had an idea that I had seen
him before. Suddenly I remembered.</p>
<p>"Abraham," I said.</p>
<p>He turned to me with a puzzled look, and then, recognizing me,
seized my hand. After expressions of surprise on either side,
hearing that I meant to spend the night in Alexandria, he
asked me to dine with him at the English Club. When we met
again I declared my astonishment at finding him there. It was
a very modest position that he occupied, and there was about
him an air of straitened circumstance. Then he told me his story.
When he set out on his holiday in the Mediterranean he
had every intention of returning to London and his appointment
at St. Thomas's. One morning the tramp docked at Alexandria,
and from the deck he looked at the city, white in the
sunlight, and the crowd on the wharf; he saw the natives in
their shabby gabardines, the blacks from the Soudan, the noisy
throng of Greeks and Italians, the grave Turks in tarbooshes,
the sunshine and the blue sky; and something happened to him.
He could not describe it. It was like a thunder-clap, he
said, and then, dissatisfied with this, he said it was like a
revelation. Something seemed to twist his heart, and suddenly
he felt an exultation, a sense of wonderful freedom. He felt
himself at home, and he made up his mind there and then, in a
minute, that he would live the rest of his life in Alexandria.
He had no great difficulty in leaving the ship, and in twenty-four
hours, with all his belongings, he was on shore.</p>
<p>"The Captain must have thought you as mad as a hatter," I smiled.</p>
<p>"I didn't care what anybody thought. It wasn't I that acted,
but something stronger within me. I thought I would go to a
little Greek hotel, while I looked about, and I felt I knew
where to find one. And do you know, I walked straight there,
and when I saw it, I recognised it at once."</p>
<p>"Had you been to Alexandria before?"</p>
<p>"No; I'd never been out of England in my life."</p>
<p>Presently he entered the Government service, and there he had
been ever since.</p>
<p>"Have you never regretted it?"</p>
<p>"Never, not for a minute. I earn just enough to live upon,
and I'm satisfied. I ask nothing more than to remain as I am
till I die. I've had a wonderful life."</p>
<p>I left Alexandria next day, and I forgot about Abraham till a
little while ago, when I was dining with another old friend in
the profession, Alec Carmichael, who was in England on short leave.
I ran across him in the street and congratulated him on
the knighthood with which his eminent services during the
war had been rewarded. We arranged to spend an evening
together for old time's sake, and when I agreed to dine with
him, he proposed that he should ask nobody else, so that we
could chat without interruption. He had a beautiful old house
in Queen Anne Street, and being a man of taste he had
furnished it admirably. On the walls of the dining-room I saw
a charming Bellotto, and there was a pair of Zoffanys that I envied.
When his wife, a tall, lovely creature in cloth of gold,
had left us, I remarked laughingly on the change in his
present circumstances from those when we had both been medical
students. We had looked upon it then as an extravagance to
dine in a shabby Italian restaurant in the Westminster Bridge Road.
Now Alec Carmichael was on the staff of half a dozen hospitals.
I should think he earned ten thousand a year, and his
knighthood was but the first of the honours which must
inevitably fall to his lot.</p>
<p>"I've done pretty well," he said, "but the strange thing is
that I owe it all to one piece of luck."</p>
<p>"What do you mean by that?"</p>
<p>"Well, do you remember Abraham? He was the man who had the future.
When we were students he beat me all along the line.
He got the prizes and the scholarships that I went in for.
I always played second fiddle to him. If he'd kept on he'd be
in the position I'm in now. That man had a genius for surgery.
No one had a look in with him. When he was
appointed Registrar at Thomas's I hadn't a chance of getting
on the staff. I should have had to become a G.P., and you
know what likelihood there is for a G.P. ever to get out of
the common rut. But Abraham fell out, and I got the job.
That gave me my opportunity."</p>
<p>"I dare say that's true."</p>
<p>"It was just luck. I suppose there was some kink in Abraham. Poor
devil, he's gone to the dogs altogether. He's got some
twopenny-halfpenny job in the medical at Alexandria—sanitary
officer or something like that. I'm told he lives with an ugly old
Greek woman and has half a dozen scrofulous kids. The fact is, I
suppose, that it's not enough to have brains. The thing that counts is
character. Abraham hadn't got character."</p>
<p>Character? I should have thought it needed a good deal of
character to throw up a career after half an hour's
meditation, because you saw in another way of living a more
intense significance. And it required still more character
never to regret the sudden step. But I said nothing, and Alec
Carmichael proceeded reflectively:</p>
<p>"Of course it would be hypocritical for me to pretend that I
regret what Abraham did. After all, I've scored by it."
He puffed luxuriously at the long Corona he was smoking.
"But if I weren't personally concerned I should be sorry at the waste.
It seems a rotten thing that a man should make such a hash of life."</p>
<p>I wondered if Abraham really had made a hash of life.
Is to do what you most want, to live under the conditions that
please you, in peace with yourself, to make a hash of life;
and is it success to be an eminent surgeon with ten thousand a
year and a beautiful wife? I suppose it depends on what
meaning you attach to life, the claim which you acknowledge to
society, and the claim of the individual. But again I held my
tongue, for who am I to argue with a knight?</p>
<hr style="width: 65%;" />
<h2><SPAN name="Chapter_LI" id="Chapter_LI"></SPAN>Chapter LI</h2>
<p>Tiare, when I told her this story, praised my prudence, and
for a few minutes we worked in silence, for we were shelling
peas. Then her eyes, always alert for the affairs of her
kitchen, fell on some action of the Chinese cook which aroused
her violent disapproval. She turned on him with a torrent of abuse.
The Chink was not backward to defend himself, and a
very lively quarrel ensued. They spoke in the native language,
of which I had learnt but half a dozen words, and it sounded
as though the world would shortly come to an end;
but presently peace was restored and Tiare gave the cook a
cigarette. They both smoked comfortably.</p>
<p>"Do you know, it was I who found him his wife?" said Tiare
suddenly, with a smile that spread all over her immense face.</p>
<p>"The cook?"</p>
<p>"No, Strickland."</p>
<p>"But he had one already."</p>
<p>"That is what he said, but I told him she was in England,
and England is at the other end of the world."</p>
<p>"True," I replied.</p>
<p>"He would come to Papeete every two or three months, when he
wanted paints or tobacco or money, and then he would wander
about like a lost dog. I was sorry for him. I had a girl
here then called Ata to do the rooms; she was some sort of a
relation of mine, and her father and mother were dead, so I
had her to live with me. Strickland used to come here now and
then to have a square meal or to play chess with one of the boys.
I noticed that she looked at him when he came, and I
asked her if she liked him. She said she liked him well enough.
You know what these girls are; they're always pleased
to go with a white man."</p>
<p>"Was she a native?" I asked.</p>
<p>"Yes; she hadn't a drop of white blood in her. Well, after
I'd talked to her I sent for Strickland, and I said to him:
'Strickland, it's time for you to settle down. A man of your
age shouldn't go playing about with the girls down at the front.
They're bad lots, and you'll come to no good with them.
You've got no money, and you can never keep a job for
more than a month or two. No one will employ you now.
You say you can always live in the bush with one or other of
the natives, and they're glad to have you because you're a
white man, but it's not decent for a white man. Now, listen
to me, Strickland.'"</p>
<p>Tiare mingled French with English in her conversation, for she
used both languages with equal facility. She spoke them with
a singing accent which was not unpleasing. You felt that a
bird would speak in these tones if it could speak English.</p>
<p>"'Now, what do you say to marrying Ata? She's a good girl and
she's only seventeen. She's never been promiscuous like some
of these girls—a captain or a first mate, yes, but she's
never been touched by a native. <i>Elle se respecte, vois-tu.</i>
The purser of the <i>Oahu</i> told me last journey that he hadn't
met a nicer girl in the islands. It's time she settled
down too, and besides, the captains and the first mates like a
change now and then. I don't keep my girls too long. She has
a bit of property down by Taravao, just before you come to the
peninsula, and with copra at the price it is now you could
live quite comfortably. There's a house, and you'd have all
the time you wanted for your painting. What do you say to it?"</p>
<p>Tiare paused to take breath.</p>
<p>"It was then he told me of his wife in England. 'My poor
Strickland,' I said to him, 'they've all got a wife somewhere;
that is generally why they come to the islands. Ata is a
sensible girl, and she doesn't expect any ceremony before the
Mayor. She's a Protestant, and you know they don't look upon
these things like the Catholics.'</p>
<p>"Then he said: 'But what does Ata say to it?' 'It appears
that she has a <i>beguin</i> for you,' I said. 'She's willing if
you are. Shall I call her?' He chuckled in a funny, dry way
he had, and I called her. She knew what I was talking about,
the hussy, and I saw her out of the corner of my eyes
listening with all her ears, while she pretended to iron a
blouse that she had been washing for me. She came. She was
laughing, but I could see that she was a little shy,
and Strickland looked at her without speaking."</p>
<p>"Was she pretty?" I asked.</p>
<p>"Not bad. But you must have seen pictures of her. He painted
her over and over again, sometimes with a <i>pareo</i> on and
sometimes with nothing at all. Yes, she was pretty enough.
And she knew how to cook. I taught her myself. I saw
Strickland was thinking of it, so I said to him: 'I've given
her good wages and she's saved them, and the captains and the
first mates she's known have given her a little something now
and then. She's saved several hundred francs.'</p>
<p>"He pulled his great red beard and smiled.</p>
<p>"'Well, Ata,' he said, 'do you fancy me for a husband.'</p>
<p>"She did not say anything, but just giggled.</p>
<p>"'But I tell you, my poor Strickland, the girl has a
<i>beguin</i> for you,' I said.</p>
<p>"I shall beat you,' he said, looking at her.</p>
<p>"'How else should I know you loved me,' she answered."</p>
<p>Tiare broke off her narrative and addressed herself to me
reflectively.</p>
<p>"My first husband, Captain Johnson, used to thrash me
regularly. He was a man. He was handsome, six foot three,
and when he was drunk there was no holding him. I would be
black and blue all over for days at a time. Oh, I cried when
he died. I thought I should never get over it. But it wasn't
till I married George Rainey that I knew what I'd lost.
You can never tell what a man is like till you live with him.
I've never been so deceived in a man as I was in George
Rainey. He was a fine, upstanding fellow too. He was nearly
as tall as Captain Johnson, and he looked strong enough. But
it was all on the surface. He never drank. He never raised
his hand to me. He might have been a missionary. I made love
with the officers of every ship that touched the island, and
George Rainey never saw anything. At last I was disgusted
with him, and I got a divorce. What was the good of a husband
like that? It's a terrible thing the way some men treat women."</p>
<p>I condoled with Tiare, and remarked feelingly that men were
deceivers ever, then asked her to go on with her story of Strickland.</p>
<p>"'Well,' I said to him, 'there's no hurry about it. Take your
time and think it over. Ata has a very nice room in the
annexe. Live with her for a month, and see how you like her.
You can have your meals here. And at the end of a month, if
you decide you want to marry her, you can just go and settle
down on her property.'</p>
<p>"Well, he agreed to that. Ata continued to do the housework, and
I gave him his meals as I said I would. I taught Ata to make one
or two dishes I knew he was fond of. He did not paint much. He
wandered about the hills and bathed in the stream. And he sat
about the front looking at the lagoon, and at sunset he would go
down and look at Murea. He used to go fishing on the reef. He
loved to moon about the harbour talking to the natives. He was a
nice, quiet fellow. And every evening after dinner he would go
down to the annexe with Ata. I saw he was longing to get away to
the bush, and at the end of the month I asked him what he
intended to do. He said if Ata was willing to go, he was willing
to go with her. So I gave them a wedding dinner. I cooked it with
my own hands. I gave them a pea soup and lobster <i>a la portugaise,</i>
and a curry, and a cocoa-nut salad—you've never had one of my
cocoa-nut salads, have you? I must make you one before you go—and
then I made them an ice. We had all the champagne we could
drink and liqueurs to follow. Oh, I'd made up my mind to do
things well. And afterwards we danced in the drawing-room. I was
not so fat, then, and I always loved dancing."</p>
<p>The drawing-room at the Hotel de la Fleur was a small room,
with a cottage piano, and a suite of mahogany furniture,
covered in stamped velvet, neatly arranged around the walls.
On round tables were photograph albums, and on the walls
enlarged photographs of Tiare and her first husband, Captain
Johnson. Still, though Tiare was old and fat, on occasion we
rolled back the Brussels carpet, brought in the maids and one
or two friends of Tiare's, and danced, though now to the
wheezy music of a gramaphone. On the verandah the air was
scented with the heavy perfume of the tiare, and overhead the
Southern Cross shone in a cloudless sky.</p>
<p>Tiare smiled indulgently as she remembered the gaiety of a
time long passed.</p>
<p>"We kept it up till three, and when we went to bed I don't
think anyone was very sober. I had told them they could have
my trap to take them as far as the road went, because after
that they had a long walk. Ata's property was right away in a
fold of the mountain. They started at dawn, and the boy I
sent with them didn't come back till next day.</p>
<p>"Yes, that's how Strickland was married."</p>
<hr style="width: 65%;" />
<div style="break-after:column;"></div><br />