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<h2>HOW BETSY AND I MADE UP</h2>
<p>GIVE us your hand, Mr. Lawyer: how do you do to-day?</p>
<p>You drew up that paper—I s'pose you want your pay.<br/> Don't
cut down your figures; make it an X or a V;<br/> For that 'ere
written agreement was just the makin' of me.</p>
<p>Goin' home that evenin' I tell you I was blue,<br/> Thinkin' of all
my troubles, and what I was goin' to do;<br/> And if my hosses
hadn't been the steadiest team alive,<br/> They'd 've tipped me
over, certain, for I couldn't see where to drive.</p>
<p>No—for I was laborin' under a heavy load;<br/> No—for I
was travelin' an entirely different road;<br/> For I was a-tracin'
over the path of our lives ag'in,<br/> And seein' where we missed
the way, and where we might have been.</p>
<p>And many a corner we'd turned that just to a quarrel led,<br/> When
I ought to 've held my temper, and driven straight ahead;<br/> And
the more I thought it over the more these memories came,<br/> And
the more I struck the opinion that I was the most to blame.</p>
<p>And things I had long forgotten kept risin' in my mind,<br/> Of
little matters betwixt us, where Betsey was good and kind;<br/> And
these things flashed all through me, as you know things<br/>
sometimes will<br/> When a feller's alone in the darkness, and every
thing is still.</p>
<p>"But," says I, "we're too far along to take another track,<br/> And
when I put my hand to the plow I do not oft turn back;<br/> And
'tain't an uncommon thing now for couples to smash in two;"<br/> And
so I set my teeth together, and vowed I'd see it through.</p>
<p>When I come in sight o' the house 'twas some'at in the night,<br/>
And just as I turned a hill-top I see the kitchen light;</p>
<p>Which often a han'some pictur' to a hungry person makes,<br/> But it
don't interest a feller much that's goin' to pull up stakes.</p>
<p>And when I went in the house the table was set for me—<br/> As
good a supper's I ever saw, or ever want to see;<br/> And I crammed
the agreement down my pocket as well as I could,<br/> And fell to
eatin' my victuals, which somehow didn't taste good.</p>
<p>And Betsey, she pretended to look about the house,<br/> But she
watched my side coat pocket like a cat would watch a mouse:<br/> And
then she went to foolin' a little with her cup,<br/> And intently
readin' a newspaper, a-holdin' it wrong side up.</p>
<p>And when I'd done my supper I drawed the agreement out,<br/> And
give it to her without a word, for she knowed what 'twas about;<br/>
And then I hummed a little tune, but now and then a note<br/> Was
bu'sted by some animal that hopped up in my throat.</p>
<p>Then Betsey she got her specs from off the mantel-shelf,<br/> And
read the article over quite softly to herself;<br/> Read it by
little and little, for her eyes is gettin' old,<br/> And lawyers'
writin' ain't no print, especially when it's cold.</p>
<p>And after she'd read a little she give my arm a touch,<br/> And
kindly said she was afraid I was 'lowin' her too much;<br/> But when
she was through she went for me, her face a-streamin' with tears,<br/>
And kissed me for the first time in over twenty years!</p>
<p>I don't know what you'll think, Sir—I didn't come to inquire—<br/>
But I picked up that agreement and stuffed it in the fire;<br/> And
I told her we'd bury the hatchet alongside of the cow;<br/> And we
struck an agreement never to have another row.</p>
<p>And I told her in the future I wouldn't speak cross or rash<br/> If
half the crockery in the house was broken all to smash;<br/> And she
said, in regards to heaven, we'd try and learn its worth<br/> By
startin' a branch establishment and runnin' it here on earth.</p>
<p>And so we sat a-talkin' three-quarters of the night,<br/> And opened
our hearts to each other until they both grew light;<br/> And the
days when I was winnin' her away from so many men<br/> Was nothin'
to that evenin' I courted her over again.</p>
<p>Next mornin' an ancient virgin took pains to call on us,<br/> Her
lamp all trimmed and a-burnin' to kindle another fuss;<br/> But when
she went to pryin' and openin' of old sores,<br/> My Betsey rose
politely, and showed her out-of-doors.</p>
<p>Since then I don't deny but there's been a word or two;<br/> But
we've got our eyes wide open, and know just what to do:<br/> When
one speaks cross the other just meets it with a laugh,<br/> And the
first one's ready to give up considerable more than half.</p>
<p>Maybe you'll think me soft, Sir, a-talkin' in this style,<br/> But
somehow it does me lots of good to tell it once in a while;<br/> And
I do it for a compliment—'tis so that you can see<br/> That
that there written agreement of yours was just the makin' of me.</p>
<p>So make out your bill, Mr. Lawyer: don't stop short of an X;<br/>
Make it more if you want to, for I have got the checks.<br/> I'm
richer than a National Bank, with all its treasures told,<br/> For
I've got a wife at home now that's worth her weight in gold.</p>
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