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<h2> XVII </h2>
<h3> JANE'S THEORY </h3>
<p>The pale end of sunset was framed in the dining-room windows, and Mr. and
Mrs. Baxter and the rehabilitated Jane were at the table, when William
made his belated return from the afternoon's excursion. Seating himself,
he waived his mother's references to the rain, his clothes, and probable
colds, and after one laden glance at Jane denoting a grievance so
elaborate that he despaired of setting it forth in a formal complaint to
the Powers—he fell into a state of trance. He took nourishment
automatically, and roused himself but once during the meal, a pathetic
encounter with his father resulting from this awakening.</p>
<p>"Everybody in town seemed to be on the streets, this evening, as I walked
home," Mr. Baxter remarked, addressing his wife. "I suppose there's
something in the clean air after a rain that brings 'em out. I noticed one
thing, though; maybe it's the way they dress nowadays, but you certainly
don't see as many pretty girls on the streets as there used to be."</p>
<p>William looked up absently. "I used to think that, too," he said, with
dreamy condescension, "when I was younger."</p>
<p>Mr. Baxter stared.</p>
<p>"Well, I'll be darned!" he said.</p>
<p>"Papa, papa!" his wife called, reprovingly.</p>
<p>"When you were younger!" Mr. Baxter repeated, with considerable
irritation. "How old d' you think you are?"</p>
<p>"I'm going on eighteen," said William, firmly. "I know plenty of cases—cases
where—" He paused, relapsing into lethargy.</p>
<p>"What's the matter with him?" Mr. Baxter inquired, heatedly, of his wife.</p>
<p>William again came to life. "I was saying that a person's age is different
according to circumstances," he explained, with dignity, if not lucidity.
"You take Genesis's father. Well, he was married when he was sixteen. Then
there was a case over in Iowa that lots of people know about and nobody
thinks anything of. A young man over there in Iowa that's seventeen years
old began shaving when he was thirteen and shaved every day for four
years, and now—"</p>
<p>He was interrupted by his father, who was no longer able to contain
himself. "And now I suppose he's got WHISKERS!" he burst forth. "There's
an ambition for you! My soul!"</p>
<p>It was Jane who took up the tale. She had been listening with growing
excitement, her eyes fixed piercingly upon William. "He's got a beard!"
she cried, alluding not to her brother, but to the fabled Iowan. "I heard
Willie tell ole Mr. Genesis about it."</p>
<p>"It seems to lie heavily on your mind," Mr. Baxter said to William. "I
suppose you feel that in the face of such an example, your life between
the ages of thirteen and seventeen has been virtually thrown away?"</p>
<p>William had again relapsed, but he roused himself feebly. "Sir?" he said.</p>
<p>"What IS the matter with him?" Mr. Baxter demanded. "Half the time lately
he seems to be hibernating, and only responds by a slight twitching when
poked with a stick. The other half of the time he either behaves like
I-don't-know-what or talks about children growing whiskers in Iowa! Hasn't
that girl left town yet?"</p>
<p>William was not so deep in trance that this failed to stir him. He left
the table.</p>
<p>Mrs. Baxter looked distressed, though, as the meal was about concluded,
and William had partaken of his share in spite of his dreaminess, she had
no anxieties connected with his sustenance. As for Mr. Baxter, he felt a
little remorse, undoubtedly, but he was also puzzled. So plain a man was
he that he had no perception of the callous brutality of the words "THAT
GIRL" when applied to some girls. He referred to his mystification a
little later, as he sat with his evening paper in the library.</p>
<p>"I don't know what I said to that tetchy boy to hurt him," he began in an
apologetic tone. "I don't see that there was anything too rough for him to
stand in a little sarcasm. He needn't be so sensitive on the subject of
whiskers, it seems to me."</p>
<p>Mrs. Baxter smiled faintly and shook her head.</p>
<p>It was Jane who responded. She was seated upon the floor, disporting
herself mildly with her paint-box. "Papa, I know what's the matter with
Willie," she said.</p>
<p>"Do you?" Mr. Baxter returned. "Well, if you make it pretty short, you've
got just about long enough to tell us before your bedtime."</p>
<p>"I think he's married," said Jane.</p>
<p>"What!" And her parents united their hilarity.</p>
<p>"I do think he's married," Jane insisted, unmoved. "I think he's married
with that Miss Pratt."</p>
<p>"Well," said her father, "he does seem upset, and it may be that her visit
and the idea of whiskers, coming so close together, is more than mere
coincidence, but I hardly think Willie is married, Jane!"</p>
<p>"Well, then," she returned, thoughtfully, "he's almost married. I know
that much, anyway."</p>
<p>"What makes you think so?"</p>
<p>"Well, because! I KIND of thought he must be married, or anyways somep'm,
when he talked to Mr. Genesis this mornin'. He said he knew how some
people got married in Pennsylvania an' India, an' he said they were only
seven or eight years old. He said so, an' I heard him; an' he said there
were eleven people married that were only seventeen, an' this boy in Iowa
got a full beard an' got married, too. An' he said Mr. Genesis was only
sixteen when HE was married. He talked all about gettin' married when
you're seventeen years old, an' he said how people thought it was the best
thing could happen. So I just KNOW he's almost married!"</p>
<p>Mr. Baxter chuckled, and Mrs. Baxter smiled, but a shade of
thoughtfulness, a remote anxiety, tell upon the face of the latter.</p>
<p>"You haven't any other reason, have you, Jane?" she asked.</p>
<p>"Yes'm," said Jane, promptly. "An' it's a more reason than any! Miss Pratt
calls you 'mamma' as if you were HER mamma. She does it when she talks to
Willie."</p>
<p>"Jane!"</p>
<p>"Yes m, I HEARD her. An' Willie said, 'I don't know what you'll think
about mother.' He said, 'I don't know what you'll think about mother,' to
Miss Pratt."</p>
<p>Mrs. Baxter looked a little startled, and her husband frowned. Jane
mistook their expressions for incredulity. "They DID, mamma," she
protested. "That's just the way they talked to each other. I heard 'em
this afternoon, when Willie had papa's cane."</p>
<p>"Maybe they were doing it to tease you, if you were with them," Mr. Baxter
suggested.</p>
<p>"I wasn't with 'em. I was sailin' my boat, an' they came along, an' first
they never saw me, an' Willie looked—oh, papa, I wish you'd seen
him!" Jane rose to her feet in her excitement. "His face was so funny, you
never saw anything like it! He was walkin' along with it turned sideways,
an' all the time he kept walkin' frontways, he kept his face sideways—like
this, papa. Look, papa!" And she gave what she considered a faithful
imitation of William walking with Miss Pratt. "Look, papa! This is the way
Willie went. He had it sideways so's he could see Miss. Pratt, papa. An'
his face was just like this. Look, papa!" She contorted her features in a
terrifying manner. "Look, papa!"</p>
<p>"Don't, Jane!" her mother exclaimed.</p>
<p>"Well, I haf to show papa how Willie looked, don't I?" said Jane,
relaxing. "That's just the way he looked. Well, an' then they stopped an'
talked to me, an' Miss Pratt said, 'It's our little sister.'"</p>
<p>"Did she really?" Mrs. Baxter asked, gravely.</p>
<p>"Yes'm, she did. Soon as she saw who I was, she said, 'Why, it's our
little sister!' Only she said it that way she talks—sort of foolish.
'It's our ittle sissy'—somep'm like that, mamma. She said it twice
an' told me to go home an' get washed up. An' Miss Pratt told Willie—Miss
Pratt said, 'It isn't mamma's fault Jane's so dirty,' just like that. She—"</p>
<p>"Are you sure she said 'our little sister'?" said Mrs. Baxter.</p>
<p>"Why, you can ask Willie! She said it that funny way. 'Our 'ittle sissy';
that's what she said. An' Miss Pratt said, 'Ev'rybody would love our
little sister if mamma washed her in soap an' water!' You can ask Willie;
that's exackly what Miss Pratt said, an' if you don't believe it you can
ask HER. If you don't want to believe it, why, you can ask—"</p>
<p>"Hush, dear," said Mrs. Baxter. "All this doesn't mean anything at all,
especially such nonsense as Willie's thinking of being married. It's your
bedtime."</p>
<p>"Well, but MAMMA—"</p>
<p>"Was that all they said?" Mr. Baxter inquired.</p>
<p>Jane turned to him eagerly. "They said all lots of things like that, papa.
They—"</p>
<p>"Nonsense!" Mrs. Baxter in interrupted. "Come, it's bedtime. I'll go up
with you. You mustn't think such nonsense."</p>
<p>"But, mamma—"</p>
<p>"Come along, Jane!"</p>
<p>Jane was obedient in the flesh, but her spirit was free; her opinions were
her own. Disappointed in the sensation she had expected to produce, she
followed her mother out of the room wearing the expression of a person who
says, "You'll SEE—some day when everything's ruined!"</p>
<p>Mr. Baxter, left alone, laughed quietly, lifted his neglected newspaper to
obtain the light at the right angle, and then allowed it to languish upon
his lap again. Frowning, he began to tap the floor with his shoe.</p>
<p>He was trying to remember what things were in his head when he was
seventeen, and it was difficult. It seemed to him that he had been a
steady, sensible young fellow—really quite a man—at that age.
Looking backward at the blur of youthful years, the period from sixteen to
twenty-five appeared to him as "pretty much all of a piece." He could not
recall just when he stopped being a boy; it must have been at about
fifteen, he thought.</p>
<p>All at once he sat up stiffly in his chair, and the paper slid from his
knee. He remembered an autumn, long ago, when he had decided to abandon
the educational plans of his parents and become an actor. He had located
this project exactly, for it dated from the night of his seventeenth
birthday, when he saw John McCullough play "Virginius."</p>
<p>Even now Mr. Baxter grew a little red as he remembered the remarkable
letter he had written, a few weeks later, to the manager of a passing
theatrical company. He had confidently expected an answer, and had made
his plans to leave town quietly with the company and afterward reassure
his parents by telegraph. In fact, he might have been on the stage at this
moment, if that manager had taken him. Mr. Baxter began to look nervous.</p>
<p>Still, there is a difference between going on the stage and getting
married. "I don't know, though!" Mr. Baxter thought. "And Willie's
certainly not so well balanced in a GENERAL way as I was." He wished his
wife would come down and reassure him, though of course it was all
nonsense.</p>
<p>But when Mrs. Baxter came down-stairs she did not reassure him. "Of course
Jane's too absurd!" she said. "I don't mean that she 'made it up'; she
never does that, and no doubt this little Miss Pratt did say about what
Jane thought she said. But it all amounts to nothing."</p>
<p>"Of course!"</p>
<p>"Willie's just going through what several of the other boys about his age
are going through—like Johnnie Watson and Joe Bullitt and Wallace
Banks. They all seem to be frantic over her."</p>
<p>"I caught a glimpse of her the day you had her to tea. She's rather
pretty."</p>
<p>"Adorably! And perhaps Willie has been just a LITTLE bit more frantic than
the others."</p>
<p>"He certainly seems in a queer state!"</p>
<p>At this his wife's tone became serious. "Do you think he WOULD do as crazy
a thing as that?"</p>
<p>Mr. Baxter laughed. "Well, I don't know what he'd do it ON! I don't
suppose he has more than a dollar in his possession."</p>
<p>"Yes, he has," she returned, quickly. "Day before yesterday there was a
second-hand furniture man here, and I was too busy to see him, but I
wanted the storeroom in the cellar cleared out, and I told Willie he could
have whatever the man would pay him for the junk in there, if he'd watch
to see that they didn't TAKE anything. They found some old pieces that I'd
forgotten, underneath things, and altogether the man paid Willie nine
dollars and eighty-five cents."</p>
<p>"But, mercy-me!" exclaimed Mr. Baxter, "the girl may be an idiot, but she
wouldn't run away and marry a boy just barely seventeen on nine dollars
and eighty-five cents!"</p>
<p>"Oh no!" said Mrs. Baxter. "At least, I don't THINK so. Of course girls do
as crazy things as boys sometimes—in their way. I was thinking—"
She paused. "Of COURSE there couldn't be anything in it, but it did seem a
little strange."</p>
<p>"What did?"</p>
<p>"Why, just before I came down-stairs, Adelia came for the laundry; and I
asked her if she'd seen Willie; and she said he'd put on his dark suit
after dinner, and he went out through the kitchen, carrying his
suit-case."</p>
<p>"He did?"</p>
<p>"Of course," Mrs. Baxter went on, slowly, "I COULDN'T believe he'd do such
a thing, but he really is in a PREPOSTEROUS way over this little Miss
Pratt, and he DID have that money—"</p>
<p>"By George!" Mr. Baxter got upon his feet. "The way he talked at dinner, I
could come pretty near believing he hasn't any more brains LEFT than to
get married on nine dollars and eighty-five cents! I wouldn't put it past
him! By George, I wouldn't!"</p>
<p>"Oh, I don't think he would," she remonstrated, feebly. "Besides, the law
wouldn't permit it."</p>
<p>Mr. Baxter paced the floor. "Oh, I suppose they COULD manage it. They
could go to some little town and give false ages and—" He broke off.
"Adelia was sure he had his suit-case?"</p>
<p>She nodded. "Do you think we'd better go down to the Parchers'? We'd just
say we came to call, of course, and if—"</p>
<p>"Get your hat on," he said. "I don't think there's anything in it at all,
but we'd just as well drop down there. It can't HURT anything."</p>
<p>"Of course, I don't think—" she began.</p>
<p>"Neither do I," he interrupted, irascibly. "But with a boy of his age
crazy enough to think he's in love, how do WE know what 'll happen? We're
only his parents! Get your hat on."</p>
<p>But when the uneasy couple found themselves upon the pavement before the
house of the Parchers, they paused under the shade-trees in the darkness,
and presently decided that it was not necessary to go in. Suddenly their
uneasiness had fallen from them. From the porch came the laughter of
several young voices, and then one silvery voice, which pretended to be
that of a tiny child.</p>
<p>"Oh, s'ame! S'ame on 'oo, big Bruvva Josie-Joe! Mus' be polite to Johnny
Jump-up, or tant play wiv May and Lola!"</p>
<p>"That's Miss Pratt," whispered Mrs. Baxter. "She's talking to Johnnie
Watson and Joe Bullitt and May Parcher. Let's go home; it's all right. Of
course I knew it would be."</p>
<p>"Why, certainly," said Mr. Baxter, as they turned. "Even if Willie were as
crazy as that, the little girl would have more sense. I wouldn't have
thought anything of it, if you hadn't told me about the suit-case. That
looked sort of queer."</p>
<p>She agreed that it did, but immediately added that she had thought nothing
of it. What had seemed more significant to her was William's interest in
the early marriage of Genesis's father, and in the Iowa beard story, she
said. Then she said that it WAS curious about the suit-case.</p>
<p>And when they came to their own house again, there was William sitting
alone and silent upon the steps of the porch.</p>
<p>"I thought you'd gone out, Willie," said his mother, as they paused beside
him.</p>
<p>"Ma'am?"</p>
<p>"Adelia said you went out, carrying your suit-case."</p>
<p>"Oh yes," he said, languidly. "If you leave clothes at Schwartz's in the
evening they have 'em pressed in the morning. You said I looked damp at
dinner, so I took 'em over and left 'em there."</p>
<p>"I see." Mrs. Baxter followed her husband to the door, but she stopped on
the threshold and called back:</p>
<p>"Don't sit there too long, Willie."</p>
<p>"Ma'am?"</p>
<p>"The dew is falling and it rained so hard to-day—I'm afraid it might
be damp."</p>
<p>"Ma'am?"</p>
<p>"Come on," Mr. Baxter said to his wife. "He's down on the Parchers' porch,
not out in front here. Of course he can't hear you. It's three blocks and
a half."</p>
<p>But William's father was mistaken. Little he knew! William was not upon
the porch of the Parchers, with May Parcher and Joe Bullitt and Johnnie
Watson to interfere. He was far from there, in a land where time was not.
Upon a planet floating in pink mist, and uninhabited—unless old Mr.
Genesis and some Hindoo princes and the diligent Iowan may have
established themselves in its remoter regions—William was alone with
Miss Pratt, in the conservatory. And, after a time, they went together,
and looked into the door of a room where an indefinite number of little
boys—all over three years of age—were playing in the firelight
upon a white-bear rug. For, in the roseate gossamer that boys' dreams are
made of, William had indeed entered the married state.</p>
<p>His condition was growing worse, every day.</p>
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