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<h2> V </h2>
<h3> SORROWS WITHIN A BOILER </h3>
<p>There was something really pageant-like about the little excursion now,
and the glittering clothes-boiler, borne on high, sent flashing lights far
down the street. The wash-tubs were old-fashioned, of wood; they refused
to fit one within the other; so William, with his right hand, and Genesis,
with his left, carried one of the tubs between them; Genesis carried the
heavy wringer with his right hand, and he had fastened the other tub upon
his back by means of a bit of rope which passed over his shoulder; thus
the tin boiler, being a lighter burden, fell to William.</p>
<p>The cover would not stay in place, but continually fell off when he
essayed to carry the boiler by one of its handles, and he made shift to
manage the accursed thing in various ways—the only one proving
physically endurable being, unfortunately, the most grotesque. He was
forced to carry the cover in his left hand and to place his head partially
within the boiler itself, and to support it—tilted obliquely to rest
upon his shoulders—as a kind of monstrous tin cowl or helmet. This
had the advantage of somewhat concealing his face, though when he leaned
his head back, in order to obtain clearer vision of what was before him,
the boiler slid off and fell to the pavement with a noise that nearly
caused a runaway, and brought the hot-cheeked William much derisory
attention from a passing street-car. However, he presently caught the
knack of keeping it in position, and it fell no more.</p>
<p>Seen from the rear, William was unrecognizable—but interesting. He
appeared to be a walking clothes-boiler, armed with a shield and
connected, by means of a wash-tub, with a negro of informal ideas
concerning dress. In fact, the group was whimsical, and three young people
who turned in behind it, out of a cross-street, indulged immediately in
fits of inadequately suppressed laughter, though neither Miss May Parcher
nor Mr. Johnnie Watson even remotely suspected that the legs beneath the
clothes-boiler belonged to an acquaintance. And as for the third of this
little party, Miss Parcher's visitor, those peregrinating legs suggested
nothing familiar to her.</p>
<p>"Oh, see the fun-ee laundrymans!" she cried, addressing a cottony doglet's
head that bobbed gently up and down over her supporting arm. "Sweetest
Flopit must see, too! Flopit, look at the fun-ee laundrymans!"</p>
<p>"'Sh!" murmured Miss Parcher, choking. "He might hear you."</p>
<p>He might, indeed, since they were not five yards behind him and the dulcet
voice was clear and free. Within the shadowy interior of the
clothes-boiler were features stricken with sudden, utter horror. "FLOPIT!"</p>
<p>The attention of Genesis was attracted by a convulsive tugging of the tub
which he supported in common with William; it seemed passionately to urge
greater speed. A hissing issued from the boiler, and Genesis caught the
words, huskily whispered:</p>
<p>"Walk faster! You got to walk faster."</p>
<p>The tub between them tugged forward with a pathos of appeal wasted upon
the easy-going Genesis.</p>
<p>"I got plenty time cut 'at grass befo' you' pa gits home," he said,
reassuringly. "Thishere rope what I got my extry tub slung to is 'mos' wo'
plum thew my hide."</p>
<p>Having uttered this protest, he continued to ambulate at the same pace,
though somewhat assisted by the forward pull of the connecting tub, an
easance of burden which he found pleasant; and no supplementary message
came from the clothes-boiler, for the reason that it was incapable of
further speech. And so the two groups maintained for a time their relative
positions, about fifteen feet apart.</p>
<p>The amusement of the second group having abated through satiety, the minds
of its components turned to other topics. "Now Flopit must have his
darlin' 'ickle run," said Flopit's mistress, setting the doglet upon the
ground. "That's why sweetest Flopit and I and all of us came for a walk,
instead of sitting on the nice, cool porch-kins. SEE the sweetie toddle!
Isn't he adorable, May? ISN'T he adorable, Mr. Watson?"</p>
<p>Mr. Watson put a useless sin upon his soul, since all he needed to say was
a mere "Yes." He fluently avowed himself to have become insane over the
beauty of Flopit.</p>
<p>Flopit, placed upon the ground, looked like something that had dropped
from a Christmas tree, and he automatically made use of fuzzy legs,
somewhat longer than a caterpillar's, to patter after his mistress. He was
neither enterprising nor inquisitive; he kept close to the rim of her
skirt, which was as high as he could see, and he wished to be taken up and
carried again. He was in a half-stupor; it was his desire to remain in
that condition, and his propulsion was almost wholly subconscious, though
surprisingly rapid, considering his dimensions.</p>
<p>"My goo'ness!" exclaimed Genesis, glancing back over his shoulder. "'At
li'l' thing ack like he think he go'n a GIT somewheres!" And then, in
answer to a frantic pull upon the tub, "Look like you mighty strong
t'day," he said. "I cain' go no fastuh!" He glanced back again, chuckling.
"'At li'l' bird do well not mix up nothin' 'ith ole man Clematis!"</p>
<p>Clematis, it happened, was just coming into view, having been detained
round the corner by his curiosity concerning a set of Louis XVI. furniture
which some house-movers were unpacking upon the sidewalk. A curl of
excelsior, in fact, had attached itself to his nether lip, and he was
pausing to remove it—when his roving eye fell upon Flopit. Clematis
immediately decided to let the excelsior remain where it was, lest he miss
something really important.</p>
<p>He approached with glowing eagerness at a gallop.</p>
<p>Then, having almost reached his goal, he checked himself with surprising
abruptness and walked obliquely beside Flopit, but upon a parallel course,
his manner agitated and his brow furrowed with perplexity. Flopit was
about the size of Clematis's head, and although Clematis was certain that
Flopit was something alive, he could not decide what.</p>
<p>Flopit paid not the slightest attention to Clematis. The self-importance
of dogs, like that of the minds of men, is in directly inverse ratio to
their size; and if the self-importance of Flopit could have been taken out
of him and given to an elephant, that elephant would have been
insufferable.</p>
<p>Flopit continued to pay no attention to Clematis.</p>
<p>All at once, a roguish and irresponsible mood seized upon Clematis; he
laid his nose upon the ground, deliberating a bit of gaiety, and then,
with a little rush, set a large, rude paw upon the sensitive face of
Flopit and capsized him. Flopit uttered a bitter complaint in an asthmatic
voice.</p>
<p>"Oh, nassy dray bid Horror!" cried his mistress, turning quickly at this
sound and waving a pink parasol at Clematis. "Shoo! DIRTY dog! Go 'way!"
And she was able somehow to connect him with the wash-tub and boiler, for
she added, "Nassy laundrymans to have bad doggies!"</p>
<p>Mr. Watson rushed upon Clematis with angry bellowings and imaginary
missiles. "You disgusting brute!" he roared. "How DARE you?"</p>
<p>Apparently much alarmed, Clematis lowered his ears, tucked his tail
underneath him, and fled to the rear, not halting once or looking back
until he disappeared round the corner whence he had come. "There!" said
Mr. Watson. "I guess HE won't bother us again very soon!"</p>
<p>It must be admitted that Milady was one of those people who do not mind
being overheard, no matter what they say. "Lucky for us," she said, "we
had a nice dray bid MANS to protect us, wasn't it, Flopit?" And she
thought it necessary to repeat something she had already made sufficiently
emphatic.</p>
<p>"Nassy laundrymans!"</p>
<p>"I expect I gave that big mongrel the fright of his life," said Mr.
Watson, with complacency. "He'll probably run a mile!"</p>
<p>The shoulders of Genesis shook as he was towed along by the convulsive
tub. He knew from previous evidence that Clematis possessed both a high
quality and a large quantity of persistence, and it was his hilarious
opinion that the dog had not gone far. As a matter of fact, the head of
Clematis was at this moment cautiously extended from behind the fence-post
at the corner whither he had fled. Viewing with growing assurance the
scene before him, he permitted himself to emerge wholly, and sat down,
with his head tilted to one side in thought. Almost at the next corner the
clothes-boiler with legs, and the wash-tubs, and Genesis were marching on;
and just behind them went three figures not so familiar to Clematis, and
connected in his mind with a vague, mild apprehension. But all backs were
safely toward him, and behind them pattered that small live thing which
had so profoundly interested him.</p>
<p>He rose and came on apace, silently.</p>
<p>When he reached the side of Flopit, some eight or nine seconds later,
Clematis found himself even more fascinated and perplexed than during
their former interview, though again Flopit seemed utterly to disregard
him. Clematis was not at all sure that Flopit WAS a dog, but he felt that
it was his business to find out. Heaven knows, so far, Clematis had not a
particle of animosity in his heart, but he considered it his duty to
himself—in case Flopit turned out not to be a dog—to learn
just what he was. The thing might be edible.</p>
<p>Therefore, again pacing obliquely beside Flopit (while the human beings
ahead went on, unconscious of the approaching climax behind them) Clematis
sought to detect, by senses keener than sight, some evidence of Flopit's
standing in the zoological kingdom; and, sniffing at the top of Flopit's
head—though Clematis was uncertain about its indeed being a head—he
found himself baffled and mentally much disturbed.</p>
<p>Flopit did not smell like a dog; he smelled of violets.</p>
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