<p><span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_331" id="Page_331"></SPAN></span></p>
<h2>CHAPTER XXXII<br/> THE CORNFIELD ARISTOCRAT</h2>
<p class="cap"><span class="dcap">It</span> was an innocent little note from Jeff Saxton; a
polite, humble little note; it said that Jeff had a
card to the Astoria Club, and wouldn't Milt please have
lunch with him? But Milt dropped it on the table,
and he walked round it as though it were a dictagraph
which he'd discovered in the table drawer after happy,
happy, hidden hours at counterfeiting.</p>
<p>It seemed more dangerous to refuse than to go. He
browned the celebrated new shoes; he pressed the
distinguished new trousers, with a light and quite
unsatisfactory flatiron; he re-re-retied his best spotted
blue bow—it persisted in having the top flaps too short,
but the retying gave him spiritual strength—and he
modestly clumped into the aloof brick portal of the
Astoria Club on time.</p>
<p>He had never been in a club before.</p>
<p>He looked at the red tiled floor of the entrance hall;
he stared through the hall into an immense lounge with
the largest and softest chairs in the world, with oil
portraits of distinguished old bucks, and ninety per
cent. of the wealth and power of Seattle pulling its
several mustaches, reading the P.I., and ignoring the
lone intruder out in the hall.</p>
<p><span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_332" id="Page_332"></SPAN></span>A small Zulu in blue tights and brass buttons glared
at Milt; and a large, soft, suave, insulting young man
demanded, "Yes, sir?"</p>
<p>"Mr. G-g-geoffrey Saxton?" ventured Milt.</p>
<p>"Not in, sir." The "sir" sounded like "And you
know it." The flaming guardian retired behind a narrow
section of a bookkeeper's desk and ignored him.</p>
<p>"I'm to meet him for lunch," Milt forlornly persisted.</p>
<p>The young man looked up, hurt and annoyed at
finding that the person was still to be dealt with.</p>
<p>"If you will wait in there?" he groaned.</p>
<p>Milt sat in there, which was a small blue tapestry
room with hard chairs intended to discourage bill-collectors.
He turned his hat round and round and
round, till he saw Jeff Saxton, slim and straight and
hard as the stick hooked over his arm, sailing into
the hall. He plunged out after him, took refuge with
him from the still unconvinced inspection of the hall-man.
For twenty seconds, he loved Jeff Saxton.</p>
<p>And Jeff seemed to adore him in turn. He solicitously
led Milt to the hat-checking counter. He
showed Milt the lounge and the billiard room, through
which Milt crept with erect shoulders and easy eyes
and a heart simply paralyzed with fear that one of
these grizzled clubmen with clipped mustaches would
look at him. He coaxed Milt into a grill that was a
cross between the Chinese throne-room and a Viennese<span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_333" id="Page_333"></SPAN></span>
Weinstube, and he implored his friend Milt to do him
the favor of trying the "very fair" English mutton
chops and potatoes <i>au gratin</i>.</p>
<p>"I did want to see you again before we go East,
Daggett," he said pleasantly.</p>
<p>"Th-thanks. When do you go?"</p>
<p>"I'm trying to get Miss Boltwood to start soon
now. The season is opening in the East. She does like
your fine sturdy West, as I do, but still, when we
think of the exciting new shows opening, and the
dances, and the touch with the great world—— Oh,
it does make one eager to get back."</p>
<p>"That's so," risked Milt.</p>
<p>"We, uh—— Daggett—— In fact, I'm going
to call you Milt, as Claire does. You don't know what
a pleasure it has been to have encountered you.
There's a fine keen courage about you Western chaps
that makes a cautious old fogy like me envious. I
shall remember meeting you with a great deal of
pleasure."</p>
<p>"Th-thanks. Been pleasure meet you."</p>
<p>"And I know Claire will, too."</p>
<p>Milt felt that he was being dealt with foully. He
wanted to object to Saxton's acting as agent for Claire
as incompetent, irrelevant, immaterial, and no foundation
laid. But he could not see just where he was
being led, and with Saxton glowing at him as warmly
and greasily as the mutton chops, Milt could only smile<span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_334" id="Page_334"></SPAN></span>
wanly, and reflectively feel the table leg to see if it
was loose enough to jerk out in case of need.</p>
<p>Saxton was being optimistic:</p>
<p>"In fact, Claire and I both hope that some day when
you've finished your engineering course, we'll see you
in the East. I wonder—— As I say, my dear fellow,
I've taken the greatest fancy to you, and I do hope
you won't think I'm too intimate if I say that I
imagine that even in your charming friendship with
Miss Boltwood, you've probably never learned what
important people the Boltwoods are. I thought I'd tell
you so that you could realize the privilege both you
and I have in knowing them. Henry B. is—while not
a man of any enormous wealth—regarded as one of
the keenest intellects in New York wholesale circles.
But beyond that, he is a scholar, and a man of the
broadest interests. Of course the Boltwoods are too
modest to speak of it, but he was chiefly instrumental
in the establishment of the famous Brooklyn Symphony
Orchestra. And his ancestors clear through—his
father was a federal judge, and his mother's
brother was a general in the Civil War, and afterwards
an ambassador. So you can guess something
of the position Claire holds in that fine, quiet, solid
old Brooklyn set. Henry Ward Beecher himself was
complimented at being asked to dine with the Boltwoods
of his day, and——"</p>
<p>No, the table leg wouldn't come loose, so it was<span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_335" id="Page_335"></SPAN></span>
only verbally that the suddenly recovered Milt attacked:</p>
<p>"Certainly is nice to have one of those old families.
It's something like—— As you say, you and I have
gotten pretty well acquainted along the line, so I guess
I can say it to you—— My father and his folks came
from that same kind of family. Father's dad was a
judge, back in Maine, and in the war, grand-dad was
quite friendly with Grant."</p>
<p>This tribute of Milt to his grandsire was loyal but
inaccurate. Judge Daggett, who wasn't a judge at all,
but a J. P., had seen General Grant only once, and at
the time the judge had been in company with all the
other privates in the Fourteenth Maine.</p>
<p>"Dad was a pioneer. He was a doctor. He had to
give up all this easy-going stuff in order to help open
up the West to civilization, but I guess it was worth
it. He used to do the hardest kind of operations, on
kitchen tables, with his driver giving the chloroform.
I'm mighty proud of him. As you say, it's kind of
what you might call inspiring to belong to the old
Pilgrim aristocracy."</p>
<p>Never before had Milt claimed relation to a group
regarding which his only knowledge was the information
derived from the red school-history to the effect
that they all carried blunderbusses, put people in the
stocks for whistling, and frequently said, "Why don't
you speak for yourself, John?" But he had made his<span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_336" id="Page_336"></SPAN></span>
boast with a clear eye and a pleasant, superior, calm
smile.</p>
<p>"Oh! Very interesting," grunted Saxton.</p>
<p>"Would you like to see grandfather's daguerreotype?"</p>
<p>"Oh, yes, yes, uh, thanks, that would be very interesting—— Do
let me see it, when—— Uh, as I
was saying, Claire doubtless has a tremendous social
career before her. So many people expecting her to
marry well. Of course she has a rather unusual combination
of charm and intelligence and—— In fact I
think we may both be glad that——"</p>
<p>"Yes. That's right. And the best thing about her
is the way she can shake off all the social stuff and go
camping and be a regular human being," Milt
caressed.</p>
<p>"Um, uh, no doubt, no doubt, though—— Of
course, though, that isn't an inherent part of her. I
fancy she's been rather tired by this long trip, poor
child. Of course she isn't very strong."</p>
<p>"That's right. Real pluck. And of course she'll
get stronger by hiking. You've never seen her bucking
a dangerous hill—I kind of feel that a person
who hasn't seen her in the wilds doesn't know
her."</p>
<p>"I don't want to be contradictory, old man, but I
feel on the other hand that no one who has failed to
see her at the Junior League Dances, in a Poiret<span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_337" id="Page_337"></SPAN></span>
frock, can know her! Come, come! Don't know how
we drifted into this chorus of praise of Claire! What
I wanted to ask was your opinion of the Pierce-Arrow.
I'm thinking of buying one. Do you think
that——"</p>
<p>All the way home Milt exulted, "I put it all over
him. I wasn't scared by the 'Don't butt into the
aristocracy, my young friend' stuff. I lied handsome.
But—— Darn it, now I'll have to live up to my
New England aristocracy.... Wonder if my grand-dad's
dad was a hired man or a wood-sawyer?...
Ne' mine; I'm Daggett of Daggett from now on." He
bounded up to his room vaingloriously remarking,
"I'm there with the ancestors. I was brought up in
the handsome city of Schoenstrom, which was founded
by a colony of Vermont Yankees, headed by Herman
Skumautz. I was never allowed to play with the
Dutch kids, and——" He opened the door. "—the
Schoenstrom minister taught me Greek and was my
bosom frien'——"</p>
<p>He stopped with his heart in his ankles. Lolling
on the bed, grinning, waving a cigarette, was Bill
McGolwey, proprietor of the Old Home Lunch, of
Schoenstrom, Minnesota.</p>
<p>"Wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwhy
where the heck did you come from?" stammered the
deposed aristocrat to his bosom friend Bill.</p>
<p>"You old lemon-pie-faced, lollygagging, flap-footed,<span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_338" id="Page_338"></SPAN></span>
crab-nosed son of misery, gee, but it's good to see you,
Milt!"</p>
<p>Bill was off the bed, wringing Milt's hand with
simple joy, with perfect faith that in finding his friend
all the troubles of life were over. And Milt was
gloomily discovering the art of diplomacy. Bill was
his friend, yes, but——</p>
<p>It was hard enough to carry his own self.</p>
<p>He pictured Jeff Saxton leering at the door, and
while he pounded Bill's shoulder, and called him the
name which, west of Chicago, is the token of hatred
and of extreme gladness at meeting, he discovered that
some one had stolen his stomach and left a piece of
ice in its place.</p>
<p>They settled down on bed and chair, Bill's ears red
with joy, while Milt demanded:</p>
<p>"How the deuce did you get here?"</p>
<p>"Well, tell you, old hoss. Schoenstrom got so darn
lonely after you left, and when Ben and Heinie got
your address and bought the garage, think's I, lez go
off on a little bum."</p>
<p>Milt was realizing—and hating himself for realizing—that
Bill's face was dirty, his hair linty, the bottoms
of his trousers frayed masses of mud, while Bill
chuckled:</p>
<p>"I figured out maybe I could get a job here in a
restaurant, and you and me could room together. I
sold out my good will in the Old Home Lunch for a<span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_339" id="Page_339"></SPAN></span>
hundred bucks. I was going to travel swell, riding the
cushions. But Pete Swanson wanted me to go down
to the Cities first, and we run into some pretty swift
travelers in Minneapolis, and a couple of girls—saaaaaaay,
kid, some class!"</p>
<p>Bill winked, and Milt—Milt was rather sick. He
knew Bill's conception of class in young women. Was
this the fellow he had liked so well? These the ideas
which a few months ago he had taken as natural and
extremely amusing?</p>
<p>"And I got held up in an alley off Washington
Avenue, and they got the last twenty bones off'n me,
and I was flatter 'n a pancake. So I says 'ish
kabibble,' and I sneaks onto the blind baggage, and
bums my way West. You'd 'a' died laughing to seen
me throwing my feet for grub. Oh, I'm some panhandler!
There was one <i>Frau</i> sicked her dog onto me,
and I kicked him in the jaw and—— Oh, it was one
swell hike."</p>
<p>Milt was trying to ignore the voice that was raging,
"And now he expects to live on me, after throwing
his own money away. The waster! The hobo! He'll
expect to meet Claire—— I'd kill him before I'd
let him soil her by looking at her. Him and his classy
girls!" Milt tried to hear only the other inner voice,
which informed him, "He looks at you so trustingly.
He'd give you his shirt, if you needed it—and he
wouldn't make you ask for it!"</p>
<p><span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_340" id="Page_340"></SPAN></span>Milt tried to be hearty: "What're you going to do,
old kid?"</p>
<p>"Well, the first thing I'm going to do is to borrow
ten iron-men and a pair of pants."</p>
<p>"You bet! Here she is. Haven't got any extra
pants. Tell you: Here's another five, and you can
get the pants at the store in the next block, this side
of the street. Hustle along now and get 'em!" He
chuckled at Bill; he patted his arm; he sought to hurry
him out.... He had to be alone, to think.</p>
<p>But Bill kissed the fifteen dollars, carelessly rammed
it into his pocket, crawled back on the bed, yawned,
"What's the rush? Gosh, I'm sleepy. Say, Milt,
whadyuh think of me and you starting a lunch-room
here together? You got enough money out of the
garage——"</p>
<p>"Oh no, noooo, gee, I'd like to, Bill, but you see,
well, I've got to hold onto what little I've got so I can
get through engineering school."</p>
<p>"Sure, but you could cash in on a restaurant—you
could work evenings in the dump, and there'd be a lot
of city sports hanging around, and we'd have the time
of our lives."</p>
<p>"No, I—— I study, evenings. And I—— The
fact is, Bill, I've met a lot of nice fellows at the university
and I kind of go around with them."</p>
<p>"Aw, how d'you get that way? Rats, you don't
want to go tagging after them Willy-boys. Damn<span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_341" id="Page_341"></SPAN></span>
dirty snobs. And the girls are worse. I tell you,
Milt, these hoop-te-doodle society Janes may look all
right to hicks like us, but on the side they raise more
hell than any milliner's trimmer from Chi that ever
vamped a rube burg."</p>
<p>"What do you know about them?"</p>
<p>"Now don't get sore. I'm telling you. I don't like
to see any friend of mine make a fool of himself hanging
around with a bunch that despises him because he
ain't rich, that's all. Met any of the high-toned
skirts?"</p>
<p>"Yes—I—<i>have</i>!"</p>
<p>"Trot 'em up and lemme give 'em the once-over."</p>
<p>"We—we'll see about it. Now I got to go to a
mathematics recitation, Bill. You make yourself comfortable,
and I'll be back at five."</p>
<p>Milt did not have to go to a recitation. He marched
out with briskness in his step, and a book under his
arm; but when he reached the corner, the briskness
proved to be spurious, and the mathematics book
proved to be William Rose Benét's <i>Merchants of
Cathay</i>, which Claire had given him in the Yellowstone,
and which he had rescued from the wrecked
bug.</p>
<p>He stood staring at it. He opened it with unhappy
tenderness. He had been snatched from the world of
beautiful words and serene dignity, of soaring mountains
and companionship with Claire in the radiant<span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_342" id="Page_342"></SPAN></span>
morning, back to the mud and dust of Schoenstrom,
from the opera to "city sports" in a lunch-room!
He hated Bill McGolwey and his sneering assumption
that Milt belonged in the filth with him. And
he hated himself for not being enough of a genius to
combine Bill McGolwey and Claire Boltwood. But
not once, in his maelstrom of worry on that street
corner, did he expect Claire to like Bill. Through all
his youthful agonizing, he had enough common sense
to know that though Claire might conquer a mountain
pass, she could never be equal to the social demands
of Schoenstrom and Bill McGolwey.</p>
<p>He wandered for an hour and came back to find
that, in a "dry" city which he had never seen before,
the crafty Bill had obtained a quart of Bourbon, and
was in a state of unsteady beatitude. He wanted, he
announced, to dance.</p>
<p>Milt got him into the community bathtub, and
soused him under, but Bill's wet body was slippery,
and Bill's merry soul was all for frolicsome gamboling,
and he slid out of Milt's grasp, he sloshed around
in the tub, he sprinkled Milt's sacred good suit with
soapy water, and escaped, and in the costume of
Adam he danced orientally in Milt's room, till he was
seized with sleepiness and cosmic grief, and retired to
Milt's bed in tears and nothing else.</p>
<p>The room dimmed, grew dark. The street lamps
outside sent a wan, wavery gleam into the room.<span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_343" id="Page_343"></SPAN></span>
Evening crowds went by, and in a motion-picture
theater a banging piano struck up. Bill breathed in
choking snorts. Milt sat unmoving, feeling very old,
very tired, too dumbly unhappy to be frightened of
the dreadful coming hour when Claire and Jeff should
hear of Bill, and discover Milt's real world.</p>
<p>He was not so romantically loyal, not so inhumanly
heroic, that it can truthfully be reported that he never
thought of getting rid of Bill. He did think of it,
again and again. But always he was touched by Bill's
unsuspecting trust, and shook his head, and sank again
into the fog.</p>
<p>What was the use of trying to go ahead? Wasn't
he, after all, merely a Bill McGolwey himself?</p>
<p>If he was, he wouldn't inflict himself on Claire.</p>
<p>For several minutes he gave up forever the zest of
climbing.</p>
<p>When Bill awoke, brightly solicitous about the rest
of the quart of Bourbon, and bouncingly ready to "go
out and have a time," Milt loafed about the streets
with him, showing him the city. He dully cut his
classes, next morning, and took Bill to the wharves.</p>
<p>It was late in the afternoon, when they were lounging
in the room, and Bill was admiring his new pants—he
boasted of having bought them for three dollars,
and pointed out that Milt had been a "galoot" to
spend ten dollars for shoes—that some one knocked
at the door. Sleepily expectant of his landlady, Milt<span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_344" id="Page_344"></SPAN></span>
opened it on Miss Claire Boltwood, Mr. and Mrs.
Eugene Gilson, and Mr. Geoffrey Saxton.</p>
<p>Saxton calmly looked past him, at Bill, smiled
slightly, and condescended, "I thought we ought to
call on you, so we've dropped in to beg for tea."</p>
<p>Bill had stopped midway in scratching his head to
gape at Claire. Claire returned the look, stared at
Bill's frowsy hair, his red wrists, his wrinkled, grease-stained
coat, his expression of impertinent stupidity.
Then she glanced questioningly at Milt, who choked:</p>
<p>"Oh yes, yes, sure, glad see you, come in, get some
tea, so glad see you, come in——"</p>
<hr/>
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