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<h2> CHAPTER IV DESPERATION </h2>
<p>The Child Sir Lancelot found himself in a large anteroom behind the stage—a
room crowded with excited children, all about equally medieval and
artistic. Penrod was less conspicuous than he thought himself, but he was
so preoccupied with his own shame, steeling his nerves to meet the first
inevitable taunting reference to his sister's stockings, that he failed to
perceive there were others present in much of his own unmanned condition.
Retiring to a corner, immediately upon his entrance, he managed to
unfasten the mantle at the shoulders, and, drawing it round him, pinned it
again at his throat so that it concealed the rest of his costume. This
permitted a temporary relief, but increased his horror of the moment when,
in pursuance of the action of the "pageant," the sheltering garment must
be cast aside.</p>
<p>Some of the other child knights were also keeping their mantles close
about them. A few of the envied opulent swung brilliant fabrics from their
shoulders, airily, showing off hired splendours from a professional
costumer's stock, while one or two were insulting examples of parental
indulgence, particularly little Maurice Levy, the Child Sir Galahad. This
shrinking person went clamorously about, making it known everywhere that
the best tailor in town had been dazzled by a great sum into constructing
his costume. It consisted of blue velvet knickerbockers, a white satin
waistcoat, and a beautifully cut little swallow-tailed coat with pearl
buttons. The medieval and artistic triumph was completed by a mantle of
yellow velvet, and little white boots, sporting gold tassels.</p>
<p>All this radiance paused in a brilliant career and addressed the Child Sir
Lancelot, gathering an immediately formed semicircular audience of little
girls. Woman was ever the trailer of magnificence.</p>
<p>"What <i>you </i>got on?" inquired Mr. Levy, after dispensing information.
"What you got on under that ole golf cape?"</p>
<p>Penrod looked upon him coldly. At other times his questioner would have
approached him with deference, even with apprehension. But to-day the
Child Sir Galahad was somewhat intoxicated with the power of his own
beauty.</p>
<p>"What <i>you</i> got on?" he repeated.</p>
<p>"Oh, nothin'," said Penrod, with an indifference assumed at great cost to
his nervous system.</p>
<p>The elate Maurice was inspired to set up as a wit. "Then you're nakid!" he
shouted exultantly. "Penrod Schofield says he hasn't got nothin' on under
that ole golf cape! He's nakid! He's nakid."</p>
<p>The indelicate little girls giggled delightedly, and a javelin pierced the
inwards of Penrod when he saw that the Child Elaine, amber-curled and
beautiful Marjorie Jones, lifted golden laughter to the horrid jest.</p>
<p>Other boys and girls came flocking to the uproar. "He's nakid, he's
nakid!" shrieked the Child Sir Galahad. "Penrod Schofield's nakid! He's <i>na-a-a-kid</i>!"</p>
<p>"Hush, hush!" said Mrs. Lora Rewbush, pushing her way into the group.
"Remember, we are all little knights and ladies to-day. Little knights and
ladies of the Table Round would not make so much noise. Now children, we
must begin to take our places on the stage. Is everybody here?"</p>
<p>Penrod made his escape under cover of this diversion: he slid behind Mrs.
Lora Rewbush, and being near a door, opened it unnoticed and went out
quickly, closing it behind him. He found himself in a narrow and vacant
hallway which led to a door marked "Janitor's Room."</p>
<p>Burning with outrage, heart-sick at the sweet, cold-blooded laughter of
Marjorie Jones, Penrod rested his elbows upon a window-sill and speculated
upon the effects of a leap from the second story. One of the reasons he
gave it up was his desire to live on Maurice Levy's account: already he
was forming educational plans for the Child Sir Galahad.</p>
<p>A stout man in blue overalls passed through the hallway muttering to
himself petulantly. "I reckon they'll find that hall hot enough <i>now</i>!"
he said, conveying to Penrod an impression that some too feminine women
had sent him upon an unreasonable errand to the furnace. He went into the
Janitor's Room and, emerging a moment later, minus the overalls, passed
Penrod again with a bass rumble—"Dern 'em!" it seemed he said—and
made a gloomy exit by the door at the upper end of the hallway.</p>
<p>The conglomerate and delicate rustle of a large, mannerly audience was
heard as the janitor opened and closed the door; and stage-fright seized
the boy. The orchestra began an overture, and, at that, Penrod, trembling
violently, tiptoed down the hall into the Janitor's Room. It was a
cul-de-sac: There was no outlet save by the way he had come.</p>
<p>Despairingly he doffed his mantle and looked down upon himself for a last
sickening assurance that the stockings were as obviously and disgracefully
Margaret's as they had seemed in the mirror at home. For a moment he was
encouraged: perhaps he was no worse than some of the other boys. Then he
noticed that a safety-pin had opened; one of those connecting the
stockings with his trunks. He sat down to fasten it and his eye fell for
the first time with particular attention upon the trunks. Until this
instant he had been preoccupied with the stockings.</p>
<p>Slowly recognition dawned in his eyes.</p>
<p>The Schofields' house stood on a corner at the intersection of two
main-travelled streets; the fence was low, and the publicity obtained by
the washable portion of the family apparel, on Mondays, had often been
painful to Penrod; for boys have a peculiar sensitiveness in these
matters. A plain, matter-of-fact washerwoman' employed by Mrs. Schofield,
never left anything to the imagination of the passer-by; and of all her
calm display the scarlet flaunting of his father's winter wear had most
abashed Penrod. One day Marjorie Jones, all gold and starch, had passed
when the dreadful things were on the line: Penrod had hidden himself,
shuddering. The whole town, he was convinced, knew these garments
intimately and derisively.</p>
<p>And now, as he sat in the janitor's chair, the horrible and paralyzing
recognition came. He had not an instant's doubt that every fellow actor,
as well as every soul in the audience, would recognize what his mother and
sister had put upon him. For as the awful truth became plain to himself it
seemed blazoned to the world; and far, far louder than the stockings, the
trunks did fairly bellow the grisly secret: <i>whose </i>they were and <i>what
</i>they were!</p>
<p>Most people have suffered in a dream the experience of finding themselves
very inadequately clad in the midst of a crowd of well-dressed people, and
such dreamers' sensations are comparable to Penrod's, though faintly,
because Penrod was awake and in much too full possession of the most
active capacities for anguish.</p>
<p>A human male whose dress has been damaged, or reveals some vital lack,
suffers from a hideous and shameful loneliness which makes every second
absolutely unbearable until he is again as others of his sex and species;
and there is no act or sin whatever too desperate for him in his struggle
to attain that condition. Also, there is absolutely no embarrassment
possible to a woman which is comparable to that of a man under
corresponding circumstances and in this a boy is a man. Gazing upon the
ghastly trunks, the stricken Penrod felt that he was a degree worse then
nude; and a great horror of himself filled his soul.</p>
<p>"Penrod Schofield!"</p>
<p>The door into the hallway opened, and a voice demanded him. He could not
be seen from the hallway, but the hue and the cry was up; and he knew he
must be taken. It was only a question of seconds. He huddled in his chair.</p>
<p>"Penrod Schofield!" cried Mrs. Lora Rewbush angrily.</p>
<p>The distracted boy rose and, as he did so, a long pin sank deep into his
back. He extracted it frenziedly, which brought to his ears a protracted
and sonorous ripping, too easily located by a final gesture of horror.</p>
<p>"Penrod Schofield!" Mrs. Lora Rewbush had come out into the hallway.</p>
<p>And now, in this extremity, when all seemed lost indeed, particularly
including honour, the dilating eye of the outlaw fell upon the blue
overalls which the janitor had left hanging upon a peg.</p>
<p>Inspiration and action were almost simultaneous.</p>
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