<h2> A Bush Christening </h2>
<p>On the outer Barcoo where the churches are few,<br/>
And men of religion are scanty,<br/>
On a road never cross'd 'cept by folk that are lost,<br/>
One Michael Magee had a shanty.<br/>
<br/>
Now this Mike was the dad of a ten year old lad,<br/>
Plump, healthy, and stoutly conditioned;<br/>
He was strong as the best, but poor Mike had no rest<br/>
For the youngster had never been christened.<br/>
<br/>
And his wife used to cry, 'If the darlin' should die<br/>
Saint Peter would not recognise him.'<br/>
But by luck he survived till a preacher arrived,<br/>
Who agreed straightaway to baptise him.<br/>
<br/>
Now the artful young rogue, while they held their collogue,<br/>
With his ear to the keyhole was listenin',<br/>
And he muttered in fright, while his features turned white,<br/>
'What the divil and all is this christenin'?'<br/>
<br/>
He was none of your dolts, he had seen them brand colts,<br/>
And it seemed to his small understanding,<br/>
If the man in the frock made him one of the flock,<br/>
It must mean something very like branding.<br/>
<br/>
So away with a rush he set off for the bush,<br/>
While the tears in his eyelids they glistened —<br/>
''Tis outrageous,' says he, 'to brand youngsters like me,<br/>
I'll be dashed if I'll stop to be christened!'<br/>
<br/>
Like a young native dog he ran into a log,<br/>
And his father with language uncivil,<br/>
Never heeding the 'praste' cried aloud in his haste,<br/>
'Come out and be christened, you divil!'<br/>
<br/>
But he lay there as snug as a bug in a rug,<br/>
And his parents in vain might reprove him,<br/>
Till his reverence spoke (he was fond of a joke)<br/>
'I've a notion,' says he, 'that'll move him.'<br/>
<br/>
'Poke a stick up the log, give the spalpeen a prog;<br/>
Poke him aisy — don't hurt him or maim him,<br/>
'Tis not long that he'll stand, I've the water at hand,<br/>
As he rushes out this end I'll name him.<br/>
<br/>
'Here he comes, and for shame! ye've forgotten the name —<br/>
Is it Patsy or Michael or Dinnis?'<br/>
Here the youngster ran out, and the priest gave a shout —<br/>
'Take your chance, anyhow, wid 'Maginnis'!'<br/>
<br/>
As the howling young cub ran away to the scrub<br/>
Where he knew that pursuit would be risky,<br/>
The priest, as he fled, flung a flask at his head<br/>
That was labelled '<i>MAGINNIS'S WHISKY</i>'!<br/>
<br/>
And Maginnis Magee has been made a J.P.,<br/>
And the one thing he hates more than sin is<br/>
To be asked by the folk, who have heard of the joke,<br/>
How he came to be christened 'Maginnis'!<br/></p>
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