<h2> An Idyll of Dandaloo </h2>
<p>On Western plains, where shade is not,<br/>
'Neath summer skies of cloudless blue,<br/>
Where all is dry and all is hot,<br/>
There stands the town of Dandaloo —<br/>
A township where life's total sum<br/>
Is sleep, diversified with rum.<br/>
<br/>
It's grass-grown streets with dust are deep,<br/>
'Twere vain endeavour to express<br/>
The dreamless silence of its sleep,<br/>
Its wide, expansive drunkenness.<br/>
The yearly races mostly drew<br/>
A lively crowd to Dandaloo.<br/>
<br/>
There came a sportsman from the East,<br/>
The eastern land where sportsmen blow,<br/>
And brought with him a speedy beast —<br/>
A speedy beast as horses go.<br/>
He came afar in hope to 'do'<br/>
The little town of Dandaloo.<br/>
<br/>
Now this was weak of him, I wot —<br/>
Exceeding weak, it seemed to me —<br/>
For we in Dandaloo were not<br/>
The Jugginses we seemed to be;<br/>
In fact, we rather thought we knew<br/>
Our book by heart in Dandaloo.<br/>
<br/>
We held a meeting at the bar,<br/>
And met the question fair and square —<br/>
'We've stumped the country near and far<br/>
To raise the cash for races here;<br/>
We've got a hundred pounds or two —<br/>
Not half so bad for Dandaloo.<br/>
<br/>
'And now, it seems, we have to be<br/>
Cleaned out by this here Sydney bloke,<br/>
With his imported horse; and he<br/>
Will scoop the pool and leave us broke<br/>
Shall we sit still, and make no fuss<br/>
While this chap climbs all over us?'<br/>
<br/>
. . . . .<br/>
<br/>
The races came to Dandaloo,<br/>
And all the cornstalks from the West,<br/>
On ev'ry kind of moke and screw,<br/>
Came forth in all their glory drest.<br/>
The stranger's horse, as hard as nails,<br/>
Look'd fit to run for New South Wales.<br/>
<br/>
He won the race by half a length —<br/>
<i>QUITE</i> half a length, it seemed to me —<br/>
But Dandaloo, with all its strength,<br/>
Roared out 'Dead heat!' most fervently;<br/>
And, after hesitation meet,<br/>
The judge's verdict was 'Dead heat!'<br/>
<br/>
And many men there were could tell<br/>
What gave the verdict extra force:<br/>
The stewards, and the judge as well —<br/>
They all had backed the second horse.<br/>
For things like this they sometimes do<br/>
In larger towns than Dandaloo.<br/>
<br/>
They ran it off; the stranger won,<br/>
Hands down, by near a hundred yards<br/>
He smiled to think his troubles done;<br/>
But Dandaloo held all the cards.<br/>
They went to scale and — cruel fate! —<br/>
His jockey turned out under-weight.<br/>
<br/>
Perhaps they'd tampered with the scale!<br/>
I cannot tell. I only know<br/>
It weighed him <i>OUT</i> all right. I fail<br/>
To paint that Sydney sportsman's woe.<br/>
He said the stewards were a crew<br/>
Of low-lived thieves in Dandaloo.<br/>
<br/>
He lifted up his voice, irate,<br/>
And swore till all the air was blue;<br/>
So then we rose to vindicate<br/>
The dignity of Dandaloo.<br/>
'Look here,' said we, 'you must not poke<br/>
Such oaths at us poor country folk.'<br/>
<br/>
We rode him softly on a rail,<br/>
We shied at him, in careless glee,<br/>
Some large tomatoes, rank and stale,<br/>
And eggs of great antiquity —<br/>
Their wild, unholy fragrance flew<br/>
About the town of Dandaloo.<br/>
<br/>
He left the town at break of day,<br/>
He led his race-horse through the streets,<br/>
And now he tells the tale, they say,<br/>
To every racing man he meets.<br/>
And Sydney sportsmen all eschew<br/>
The atmosphere of Dandaloo.<br/></p>
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