Fables for the Frivolous

<h2><span><SPAN name="9">THE URBAN RAT</SPAN></span><br> <br> <span> AND</span><br> <br> <span> THE SUBURBAN RAT</span><br/></h2> <br/> <br/> &nbsp; A metropolitan rat invited<br/> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; His country cousin in town to dine:<br/> &nbsp; The country cousin replied, "Delighted."<br/> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; And signed himself, "Sincerely thine."<br/> &nbsp; The town rat treated the country cousin<br/> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; To half a dozen<br/> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Kinds of wine.<br/> <br/> &nbsp; He served him terrapin, kidneys devilled,<br/> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; And roasted partridge, and candied fruit;<br/> &nbsp; In Little Neck Clams at first they revelled,<br/> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; And then in Pommery, <span style="font-style: italic;">sec</span> and <span style="font-style: italic;">brut</span>;<br/> &nbsp; The country cousin exclaimed: "Such feeding<br/> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Proclaims your breeding<br/> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Beyond dispute!"<br/> <br/> &nbsp; But just as, another bottle broaching,<br/> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; They came to chicken <span style="font-style: italic;">en casserole</span><br/> &nbsp; A ravenous cat was heard approaching,<br/> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; And, passing his guest a finger-bowl,<br/> &nbsp; The town rat murmured, "The feast is ended."<br/> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; And then descended<br/> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; The nearest hole.<br/> <br/> &nbsp; His cousin followed him, helter-skelter,<br/> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; And, pausing beneath the pantry floor,<br/> &nbsp; He glanced around at their dusty shelter<br/> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; And muttered, "This is a beastly bore.<br/> &nbsp; My place as an epicure resigning,<br/> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I'll try this dining<br/> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; In town no more.<br/> <br/> &nbsp; "You must dine some night at my rustic cottage;<br/> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I'll warn you now that it's simple fare:<br/> &nbsp; A radish or two, a bowl of pottage,<br/> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; And the wine that's known as <span style="font-style: italic;">ordinaire</span>,<br/> &nbsp; But for holes I haven't to make a bee-line,<br/> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; No prowling feline<br/> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Molests me there.<br/> <br/> &nbsp; "You smile at the lot of a mere commuter,<br/> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; You think that my life is hard, mayhap,<br/> &nbsp; But I'm sure than you I am far acuter:<br/> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I ain't afraid of no cat nor trap."<br/> &nbsp; The city rat could but meekly stammer,<br/> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; "Don't use such grammar,<br/> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; My worthy chap."<br/> <br/> &nbsp; He dined next night with his poor relation,<br/> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; And caught dyspepsia, and lost his train,<br/> &nbsp; He waited an hour in the lonely station,<br/> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; And said some things that were quite profane.<br/> &nbsp; "I'll never," he cried, in tones complaining,<br/> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; "Try entertaining<br/> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; That rat again."<br/> <br/> &nbsp; It's easy to make a memorandum<br/> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; About THE MORAL these verses teach:<br/> &nbsp; <span style="font-style: italic;">De gustibus non est disputandum;</span><br/> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; The meaning of which Etruscan speech<br/> &nbsp; Is wheresoever you're hunger quelling<br/> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Pray keep your dwelling<br/> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; In easy reach.<br/> <br/> <div style="break-after:column;"></div><br />