<p><SPAN name="c14" id="c14"></SPAN></p>
<h2> CHAPTER XIV </h2>
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<p>"DEFEND THEE, LORD"</p>
<p>I paid three pennies for my breakfast, and a most extravagant price it
was, too, seeing that one could have breakfasted a dozen persons for that
money; but I was feeling good by this time, and I had always been a kind
of spendthrift anyway; and then these people had wanted to give me the
food for nothing, scant as their provision was, and so it was a grateful
pleasure to emphasize my appreciation and sincere thankfulness with a good
big financial lift where the money would do so much more good than it
would in my helmet, where, these pennies being made of iron and not
stinted in weight, my half-dollar's worth was a good deal of a burden to
me. I spent money rather too freely in those days, it is true; but
one reason for it was that I hadn't got the proportions of things entirely
adjusted, even yet, after so long a sojourn in Britain—hadn't got
along to where I was able to absolutely realize that a penny in Arthur's
land and a couple of dollars in Connecticut were about one and the same
thing: just twins, as you may say, in purchasing power. If my
start from Camelot could have been delayed a very few days I could have
paid these people in beautiful new coins from our own mint, and that would
have pleased me; and them, too, not less. I had adopted the American
values exclusively. In a week or two now, cents, nickels, dimes,
quarters, and half-dollars, and also a trifle of gold, would be trickling
in thin but steady streams all through the commercial veins of the
kingdom, and I looked to see this new blood freshen up its life.</p>
<p>The farmers were bound to throw in something, to sort of offset my
liberality, whether I would or no; so I let them give me a flint and
steel; and as soon as they had comfortably bestowed Sandy and me on our
horse, I lit my pipe. When the first blast of smoke shot out through
the bars of my helmet, all those people broke for the woods, and Sandy
went over backwards and struck the ground with a dull thud. They
thought I was one of those fire-belching dragons they had heard so much
about from knights and other professional liars. I had infinite
trouble to persuade those people to venture back within explaining
distance. Then I told them that this was only a bit of enchantment
which would work harm to none but my enemies. And I promised, with
my hand on my heart, that if all who felt no enmity toward me would come
forward and pass before me they should see that only those who remained
behind would be struck dead. The procession moved with a good deal
of promptness. There were no casualties to report, for nobody had
curiosity enough to remain behind to see what would happen.</p>
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<p>I lost some time, now, for these big children, their fears gone, became so
ravished with wonder over my awe-compelling fireworks that I had to stay
there and smoke a couple of pipes out before they would let me go. Still
the delay was not wholly unproductive, for it took all that time to get
Sandy thoroughly wonted to the new thing, she being so close to it, you
know. It plugged up her conversation mill, too, for a considerable
while, and that was a gain. But above all other benefits accruing, I
had learned something. I was ready for any giant or any ogre that
might come along, now.</p>
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<p>We tarried with a holy hermit, that night, and my opportunity came about
the middle of the next afternoon. We were crossing a vast meadow by
way of short-cut, and I was musing absently, hearing nothing, seeing
nothing, when Sandy suddenly interrupted a remark which she had begun that
morning, with the cry:</p>
<p>"Defend thee, lord!—peril of life is toward!"</p>
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<p>And she slipped down from the horse and ran a little way and stood. I
looked up and saw, far off in the shade of a tree, half a dozen armed
knights and their squires; and straightway there was bustle among them and
tightening of saddle-girths for the mount. My pipe was ready and
would have been lit, if I had not been lost in thinking about how to
banish oppression from this land and restore to all its people their
stolen rights and manhood without disobliging anybody. I lit up at
once, and by the time I had got a good head of reserved steam on, here
they came. All together, too; none of those chivalrous magnanimities
which one reads so much about—one courtly rascal at a time, and the
rest standing by to see fair play. No, they came in a body, they
came with a whirr and a rush, they came like a volley from a battery; came
with heads low down, plumes streaming out behind, lances advanced at a
level. It was a handsome sight, a beautiful sight—for a man up
a tree. I laid my lance in rest and waited, with my heart beating,
till the iron wave was just ready to break over me, then spouted a column
of white smoke through the bars of my helmet. You should have seen
the wave go to pieces and scatter! This was a finer sight than the
other one.</p>
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<p>But these people stopped, two or three hundred yards away, and this
troubled me. My satisfaction collapsed, and fear came; I judged I
was a lost man. But Sandy was radiant; and was going to be eloquent—but
I stopped her, and told her my magic had miscarried, somehow or other, and
she must mount, with all despatch, and we must ride for life. No,
she wouldn't. She said that my enchantment had disabled those
knights; they were not riding on, because they couldn't; wait, they would
drop out of their saddles presently, and we would get their horses and
harness. I could not deceive such trusting simplicity, so I said it
was a mistake; that when my fireworks killed at all, they killed
instantly; no, the men would not die, there was something wrong about my
apparatus, I couldn't tell what; but we must hurry and get away, for those
people would attack us again, in a minute. Sandy laughed, and said:</p>
<p>"Lack-a-day, sir, they be not of that breed! Sir Launcelot will give
battle to dragons, and will abide by them, and will assail them again, and
yet again, and still again, until he do conquer and destroy them; and so
likewise will Sir Pellinore and Sir Aglovale and Sir Carados, and mayhap
others, but there be none else that will venture it, let the idle say what
the idle will. And, la, as to yonder base rufflers, think ye they
have not their fill, but yet desire more?"</p>
<p>"Well, then, what are they waiting for? Why don't they leave?
Nobody's hindering. Good land, I'm willing to let bygones be
bygones, I'm sure."</p>
<p>"Leave, is it? Oh, give thyself easement as to that. They
dream not of it, no, not they. They wait to yield them."</p>
<p>"Come—really, is that 'sooth'—as you people say? If they
want to, why don't they?"</p>
<p>"It would like them much; but an ye wot how dragons are esteemed, ye would
not hold them blamable. They fear to come."</p>
<p>"Well, then, suppose I go to them instead, and—"</p>
<p>"Ah, wit ye well they would not abide your coming. I will go."</p>
<p>And she did. She was a handy person to have along on a raid. I would
have considered this a doubtful errand, myself. I presently saw the
knights riding away, and Sandy coming back. That was a relief.
I judged she had somehow failed to get the first innings—I
mean in the conversation; otherwise the interview wouldn't have been so
short. But it turned out that she had managed the business well; in
fact, admirably. She said that when she told those people I was The
Boss, it hit them where they lived: "smote them sore with fear and
dread" was her word; and then they were ready to put up with anything she
might require. So she swore them to appear at Arthur's court within
two days and yield them, with horse and harness, and be my knights
henceforth, and subject to my command. How much better she managed that
thing than I should have done it myself! She was a daisy.</p>
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