<h2>ACT III.</h2>
<h3>SCENE I.—A Room in Widow Green’s.</h3>
<p>[Enter <span class="smcap">Master Waller</span>, following <span class="smcap">Lydia</span>.]</p>
<p><i>Wal</i>. But thou shalt hear me, gentle Lydia.<br/>
Sweet maiden, thou art frightened at thyself!<br/>
Thy own perfections ’tis that talk to thee.<br/>
Thy beauty rich!—thy richer grace!—thy mind,<br/>
More rich again than that, though richest each!<br/>
Except for these, I had no tongue for thee,<br/>
Eyes for thee!—ears!—had never followed thee!—<br/>
Had never loved thee, Lydia! Hear me!—</p>
<p><i>Lydia</i>. Love<br/>
Should seek its match. No match am I for thee.</p>
<p><i>Wal</i>. Right! Love should seek its match; and that is,
love<br/>
Or nothing! Station—fortune—find their match<br/>
In things resembling them. They are not love!<br/>
Comes love (that subtle essence, without which<br/>
Life were but leaden dulness!—weariness!<br/>
A plodding trudger on a heavy road!)<br/>
Comes it of title-deeds which fools may boast?<br/>
Or coffers vilest hands may hold the keys of?<br/>
Or that ethereal lamp that lights the eyes<br/>
To shed the sparkling lustre o’er the face,<br/>
Gives to the velvet skin its blushing glow,<br/>
And burns as bright beneath the peasant’s roof<br/>
As roof of palaced prince? Yes, Love should seek<br/>
Its match—then give my love its match in thine,<br/>
Its match which in thy gentle breast doth lodge<br/>
So rich—so earthly, heavenly fair and rich,<br/>
As monarchs have no thought of on their thrones,<br/>
Which kingdoms do bear up.</p>
<p><i>Lydia</i>. Wast thou a monarch,<br/>
Me wouldst thou make thy queen?</p>
<p><i>Wal</i>. I would.</p>
<p><i>Lydia</i>. What! Pass<br/>
A princess by for me?</p>
<p><i>Wal</i>. I would.</p>
<p><i>Lydia</i>. Suppose<br/>
Thy subjects would prevent thee?</p>
<p><i>Wal</i>. Then, in spite<br/>
Of them!</p>
<p><i>Lydia</i>. Suppose they were too strong for thee?</p>
<p><i>Wal</i>. Why, then I’d give them up my
throne—content<br/>
With that thou’dst yield me in thy gentle breast.</p>
<p><i>Lydia</i>. Can subjects do what monarchs do?</p>
<p><i>Wal</i>. Far more!<br/>
Far less!</p>
<p><i>Lydia</i>. Among those things, where more their power,<br/>
Is marriage one?</p>
<p><i>Wal</i>. Yes.</p>
<p><i>Lydia</i>. And no part of love,<br/>
You say, is rank or wealth?</p>
<p><i>Wal</i>. No part of love.</p>
<p><i>Lydia</i>. Is marriage part of love?</p>
<p><i>Wal</i>. At times it is,<br/>
At times is not. Men love and marry—love<br/>
And marry not.</p>
<p><i>Lydia</i>. Then have they not the power;<br/>
So must they hapless part with those they love.</p>
<p><i>Wal</i>. Oh, no! not part! How could they love and
part?</p>
<p><i>Lydia</i>. How could they love not part, not free to wed?</p>
<p><i>Wal</i>. Alone in marriage doth not union lie!</p>
<p><i>Lydia</i>. Alone where hands are free! O
yes—alone!<br/>
Love that is love, bestoweth all it can!<br/>
It is protection, if ’tis anything,<br/>
Which nothing in its object leaves exposed<br/>
Its care can shelter. Love that’s free to wed,<br/>
Not wedding, but profanes the name of love;<br/>
Which is, on high authority to Earth’s,<br/>
For Heaven did sit approving at its feast,<br/>
A holy thing! Why make you love to me?<br/>
Women whose hearts are free, by nature tender,<br/>
Their fancies hit by those they are besought by,<br/>
Do first impressions quickly—deeply take;<br/>
And, balked in their election, have been known<br/>
To droop a whole life through! Gain for a maid,<br/>
A broken heart!—to barter her young love,<br/>
And find she changed it for a counterfeit!</p>
<p><i>Wal</i>. If there is truth in man, I love thee! Hear
me!<br/>
In wedlock, families claim property.<br/>
Old notions, which we needs must humour often,<br/>
Bar us to wed where we are forced to love!<br/>
Thou hear’st?</p>
<p><i>Lydia</i>. I do.</p>
<p><i>Wal</i>. My family is proud;<br/>
Our ancestor, whose arms we bear, did win<br/>
An earldom by his deeds. ’Tis not enough<br/>
I please myself! I must please others, who<br/>
Desert in wealth and station only see.<br/>
Thou hear’st?</p>
<p><i>Lydia</i>. I do.</p>
<p><i>Wal</i>. I cannot marry thee,<br/>
And must I lose thee? Do not turn away!<br/>
Without the altar I can honour thee!<br/>
Can cherish thee, nor swear it to the priest;<br/>
For more than life I love thee!</p>
<p><i>Lydia</i>. Say thou hatest me,<br/>
And I’ll believe thee! Wherein differs love<br/>
From hate, to do the work of hate—destroy?<br/>
Thy ancestor won title to his deeds!<br/>
Was one of them, to teach an honest maid<br/>
The deed of sin—first steal her love, and then<br/>
Her virtue? If thy family is proud,<br/>
Mine, sir, is worthy! if we are poor, the lack<br/>
Of riches, sir, is not the lack of shame,<br/>
That I should act a part, would raise a blush,<br/>
Nor fear to burn an honest brother’s cheek!<br/>
Thou wouldst share a throne with me! Thou wouldst rob me of<br/>
A throne!—reduce me from dominion to<br/>
Base vassalage!—pull off my crown for me,<br/>
And give my forehead in its place a brand!<br/>
You have insulted me. To shew you, sir,<br/>
The heart you make so light of, you are beloved—<br/>
But she that tells you so, tells you beside<br/>
She ne’er beholds you more!</p>
<p>[Goes out.]</p>
<p><i>Wal</i>. Stay, Lydia!—No!<br/>
’Tis vain! She is in virtue resolute,<br/>
As she is bland and tender in affection.<br/>
She is a miracle, beholding which<br/>
Wonder doth grow on wonder! What a maid!<br/>
No mood but doth become her—yea, adorn her.<br/>
She turns unsightly anger into beauty!<br/>
Sour scorn grows sweetness, touching her sweet lips!<br/>
And indignation, lighting on her brow,<br/>
Transforms to brightness as the cloud to gold<br/>
That overhangs the sun! I love her! Ay!<br/>
And all the throes of serious passion feel<br/>
At thought of losing her!—so my light love,<br/>
Which but her person did at first affect,<br/>
Her soul has metamorphosed—made a thing<br/>
Of solid thoughts and wishes—I must have her!</p>
<p>[Enter <span class="smcap">Widow Green</span>, unnoticed by <span class="smcap">Sir Waller</span>, who continues abstracted.]</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. What! Master Waller, and contemplative!<br/>
Presumptive proof of love! Of me he thinks!<br/>
Revolves the point “to be or not to be!”<br/>
“To be!” by all the triumphs of my sex!<br/>
There was a sigh! My life upon’t, that sigh,<br/>
If construed, would translate “Dear Widow Green!”</p>
<p><i>Wal</i>. Enchanting woman!</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. That is I!—most deep<br/>
Abstraction, sure concomitant of love.<br/>
Now, could I see his busy fancy’s painting,<br/>
How should I blush to gaze upon myself.</p>
<p><i>Wal</i>. The matchless form of woman! The choice
calling<br/>
Of the aspiring artist, whose ambition<br/>
Robs Nature to outdo her—the perfections<br/>
Of her rare various workmanship combines<br/>
To aggrandise his art at Nature’s cost,<br/>
And make a paragon!</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. Gods! how he draws me!<br/>
Soon as he sees me, at my feet he falls!—<br/>
Good Master Waller!</p>
<p><i>Wal</i>. Ha! The Widow Green!</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. He is confounded! So am I. O dear!<br/>
How catching is emotion. He can’t speak!<br/>
O beautiful confusion! Amiable<br/>
Excess of modesty with passion struggling!<br/>
Now comes he to declare himself, but wants<br/>
The courage. I must help him.—Master Waller!</p>
<p>[Enter <span class="smcap">Sir William Fondlove</span>.]</p>
<p><i>Sir Wil</i>. Dear Widow Green!</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. Sir William Fondlove!</p>
<p><i>Wal</i>. Thank<br/>
My lucky stars! [Aside.]</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. I would he had the gout,<br/>
And kept his room! [Aside.]—You’re welcome, dear Sir
William!<br/>
’Tis very, very kind of you to call.<br/>
Sir William Fondlove—Master Waller. Pray<br/>
Be seated, gentlemen.—He shall requite me<br/>
For his untimely visit. Though the nail<br/>
Be driven home, it may want clinching yet<br/>
To make the hold complete! For that, I’ll use
him.—[Aside.]<br/>
You’re looking monstrous well, Sir William! and<br/>
No wonder. You’re a mine of happy spirits!<br/>
Some women talk of such and such a style<br/>
Of features in a man. Give me good humour;<br/>
That lights the homeliest visage up with beauty,<br/>
And makes the face, where beauty is already,<br/>
Quite irresistible!</p>
<p><i>Sir Wil</i>. That’s hitting hard. [Aside.]<br/>
Dear Widow Green, don’t say so! On my life<br/>
You flatter me. You almost make me blush.</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. I durst not turn to Master Waller now,<br/>
Nor need I. I can fancy how he looks!<br/>
I warrant me he scowls on poor Sir William,<br/>
As he could eat him up. I must improve<br/>
His discontent, and so make sure of him.—[Aside.]<br/>
I flatter you, Sir William! O, you men!<br/>
You men, that talk so meek, and all the while<br/>
Do know so well your power! Who would think<br/>
You had a marriageable daughter! You<br/>
Did marry very young.</p>
<p><i>Sir Wil</i>. A boy!—a boy!<br/>
Who knew not his own mind.</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. Your daughter’s twenty.<br/>
Come, you at least were twenty when you married;<br/>
That makes you forty.</p>
<p><i>Sir Wil</i>. O dear! Widow Green.</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. Not forty?</p>
<p><i>Sir Wil</i>. You do quite embarrass me!<br/>
I own I have the feelings of a boy,<br/>
The freshness and the glow of spring-time, yet,—<br/>
The relish yet for my young schooldays’ sports;<br/>
Could whip a top—could shoot at taw—could play<br/>
At prison-bars and leapfrog—so I might—<br/>
Not with a limb, perhaps, as supple, but<br/>
With quite as supple will. Yet I confess<br/>
To more than forty!</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. Do you say so? Well,<br/>
I’ll never guess a man’s age by his looks<br/>
Again.—Poor Master Waller! He must writhe<br/>
To hear I think Sir William is so young.<br/>
I’ll turn his visit yet to more account.—[Aside.]<br/>
A handsome ring, Sir William, that you wear!</p>
<p><i>Sir Wil</i>. Pray look at it.</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. The mention of a ring<br/>
Will take away his breath.</p>
<p><i>Wal</i>. She must be mine<br/>
Whate’er her terms! [Aside.]</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. I’ll steal a look at him!</p>
<p><i>Wal</i>. What! though it be the ring?—the marriage
ring?<br/>
If that she sticks at, she deserves to wear it!<br/>
Oh, the debate which love and prudence hold! [Aside.]</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. How highly he is wrought upon! His hands<br/>
Are clenched!—I warrant me his frame doth shake!<br/>
Poor Master Waller! I have filled his heart<br/>
Brimful with passion for me. The delight<br/>
Of proving thus my power!</p>
<p><i>Sir Wil</i>. Dear Widow Green!—<br/>
She hears not! How the ring hath set her thinking!<br/>
I’ll try and make her jealous. [Aside.]—Widow Green!</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. Sir William Fondlove!</p>
<p><i>Sir Wil</i>. Would you think that ring<br/>
Could tell a story?</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. Could it? Ah, Sir William,<br/>
I fear you are a rogue.</p>
<p><i>Sir Wil</i>. O no!</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. You are!</p>
<p><i>Sir Wil</i>. No, on my honour! Would you like to hear<br/>
The story of the ring?</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. Much—very much.</p>
<p><i>Sir Wil</i>. Think’st we may venture draw our chairs
apart<br/>
A little more from Master Waller?</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. Yes.<br/>
He’ll bring it to a scene! Dear—dear Sir William,<br/>
How much I am obliged to him! A scene!<br/>
Gods, we shall have a scene!—Good Master Waller,<br/>
Your leave I pray you for a minute, while<br/>
Sir William says a word or two to me.—<br/>
He durst not trust his tongue for jealousy!—[Aside.]<br/>
Now, dear Sir William!</p>
<p><i>Sir Wil</i>. You must promise me<br/>
You will not think me vain.</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. No fear of that.</p>
<p><i>Sir Wil</i>. Nor given to boast.</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. O! dear Sir William!</p>
<p><i>Sir Wil</i>. Nor<br/>
A flirt!</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. O! who would take you for a flirt?</p>
<p><i>Sir Wil</i>. How very kind you are!</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. Go on, Sir William.</p>
<p><i>Sir Wil</i>. Upon my life, I fear you’ll think me
vain!<br/>
I’m covered with confusion at the thought<br/>
Of what I’ve done. ’Twas very, very wrong<br/>
To promise you the story of the ring;<br/>
Men should not talk of such things.</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. Such as what?<br/>
As ladies’ favours?</p>
<p><i>Sir Wil</i>. ’Pon my life, I feel<br/>
As I were like to sink into the earth.</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. A lady then it was gave you the ring?</p>
<p><i>Sir Wil</i>. Don’t ask me to say yes, but only scan<br/>
The inside of the ring.—How much she’s moved.
[Aside.]</p>
<p><i>Wal</i>. They to each other company enough!<br/>
I, company for no one but myself.<br/>
I’ll take my leave, nor trouble them to pay<br/>
The compliments of parting. Lydia! Lydia!</p>
<p>[Goes out.]</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. What’s here?
“Eliza!” So it was a lady!—<br/>
How wondrously does Master Waller bear it!<br/>
He surely will not hold much longer out.—[Aside.]<br/>
Sir William! Nay, look up! What cause to cast<br/>
Your eyes upon the ground? What an it were<br/>
A lady?</p>
<p><i>Sir Wil</i>. You’re not angry?</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. No!</p>
<p><i>Sir Wil</i>. She is.<br/>
I’ll take the tone she speaks in ’gainst the word,<br/>
For fifty crowns.—I have not told you all<br/>
About the ring; though I would sooner die<br/>
Than play the braggart!—yet, as truth is truth,<br/>
And told by halves, may from a simple thing,<br/>
By misconstruction, to a monster grow,<br/>
I’ll tell the whole truth!</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. Dear Sir William, do!</p>
<p><i>Sir Wil</i>. The lady was a maid, and very young;<br/>
Nor there in justice to her must I stop,<br/>
But say that she was beautiful as young;<br/>
And add to that that she was learned too,<br/>
Almost enough to win for her that title,<br/>
Our sex, in poor conceit of their own merits,<br/>
And narrow spirit of monopoly,<br/>
And jealousy, which gallantry eschews,<br/>
Do give to women who assert their right<br/>
To minds as well as we.</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. What! a blue-stocking?</p>
<p><i>Sir Wil</i>. I see—she’ll come to calling names at
last.—[Aside.]<br/>
I should offend myself to quote the term.<br/>
But, to return, for yet I have not done;<br/>
And further yet may go, then progress on<br/>
That she was young, that she was beautiful.<br/>
A wit and learned are naught to what’s to come—<br/>
She had a heart!—</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. [Who during <span class="smcap">Sir
William’s</span> speech has turned gradually.]<br/>
What, Master Waller gone! [Aside.]</p>
<p><i>Sir Wil</i>. I say she had a heart—</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. [Starting up—<span class="smcap">Sir
William</span> also.] A plague upon her!</p>
<p><i>Sir Wil</i>. I knew she would break out! [Aside.]</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. Here, take the ring. It has ruined me!</p>
<p><i>Sir Wil</i>. I vow thou hast no cause<br/>
For anger!</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. Have I not? I am undone,<br/>
And all about that bauble of a ring.</p>
<p><i>Sir Wil</i>. You’re right, it is a bauble.</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. And the minx<br/>
That gave it thee!</p>
<p><i>Sir Wil</i>. You’re right, she was a minx.<br/>
I knew she’d come to calling names at last. [Aside.]</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. Sir William Fondlove, leave me.</p>
<p><i>Sir Wil</i>. Widow Green!—</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. You have undone me, sir!</p>
<p><i>Sir Wil</i>. Don’t say so! Don’t!<br/>
It was a girl—a child gave me the ring!</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. Do you hear me, sir? I bade you leave
me.</p>
<p><i>Sir Wil</i>. If<br/>
I thought you were so jealous—</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. Jealous, sir!<br/>
Sir William! quit my house.</p>
<p><i>Sir Wil</i>. A little girl<br/>
To make you jealous!</p>
<p>W. Green. Sir, you’ll drive me mad!</p>
<p><i>Sir Wil</i>. A child, a perfect child, not ten years old!</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. Sir, I would be alone, sir!</p>
<p><i>Sir Wil</i>. Young enough<br/>
To dandle still her doll!</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. Sir William Fondlove!</p>
<p><i>Sir Wil</i>. Dear Widow Green!</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. I hate you, sir! Detest you! Never
wish<br/>
To see you more! You have ruined me! Undone me!<br/>
A blighted life I wear, and all through you!<br/>
The fairest hopes that ever woman nourished,<br/>
You’ve cankered in the very blowing! bloom<br/>
And sweet destroyed, and nothing left me, but<br/>
The melancholy stem.</p>
<p><i>Sir Wil</i>. And all about<br/>
A little slut I gave a rattle to!—<br/>
Would pester me for gingerbread and comfits!—<br/>
A little roguish feigning! A love-trick<br/>
I played to prove your love!</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. Sir William Fondlove!<br/>
If of my own house you’ll not suffer me<br/>
To be the mistress, I will leave it to you!</p>
<p><i>Sir Wil</i>. Dear Widow Green! The ring—</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. Confound the ring,<br/>
The donor of it, thee, and everything!</p>
<p>[Goes out.]</p>
<p><i>Sir Wil</i>. She is over head and ears in love with me!<br/>
She’s mad with love! There’s love and all its signs!<br/>
She’s jealous of me unto very death!<br/>
Poor Widow Green! I warrant she is now<br/>
In tears! I think I hear her sob! Poor thing!<br/>
Sir William! Oh, Sir William! You have raised<br/>
A furious tempest! Set your wits to work<br/>
To turn it to a calm. No question that<br/>
She loves me! None then that she’ll take me! So<br/>
I’ll have the marriage settlements made out<br/>
To-morrow, and a special licence got,<br/>
And marry her the next day! I will make<br/>
Quick work of it, and take her by surprise!<br/>
Who but a widower a widow’s match?<br/>
What could she see with else but partial eyes<br/>
To guess me only forty? I’m a wonder!<br/>
What shall I pass for in my wedding suit?<br/>
I vow I am a puzzle to myself,<br/>
As well as all the world besides. Odd’s life!<br/>
To win the heart of buxom Widow Green!</p>
<p>[Goes out.]</p>
<p>[<span class="smcap">Widow Green</span> re-enters with <span class="smcap">Lydia</span>.]</p>
<p><i>W. Green</i>. At last the dotard’s gone! Fly,
Lydia, fly,<br/>
This letter bear to Master Waller straight;<br/>
Quick, quick, or I’m undone! He is abused,<br/>
And I must undeceive him—own my love,<br/>
And heart and hand at his disposal lay.<br/>
Answer me not, my girl—obey me! Fly.</p>
<p>[Goes out.]</p>
<p><i>Lydia</i>. Untowardly it falls!—I had resolved<br/>
This hour to tell her I must quit her service!<br/>
Go to his house! I will not disobey<br/>
Her last commands!—I’ll leave it at the door,<br/>
And as it closes on me think I take<br/>
One more adieu of him! Hard destiny!</p>
<p>[Goes out.]</p>
<h3>SCENE II.—A Room in Sir William’s.</h3>
<p>[Enter <span class="smcap">Constance</span>.]</p>
<p><i>Con</i>. The booby! He must fall in love, indeed!<br/>
And now he’s naught but sentimental looks<br/>
And sentences, pronounced ’twixt breath and voice!<br/>
And attitudes of tender languishment!<br/>
Nor can I get from him the name of her<br/>
Hath turned him from a stock into a fool.<br/>
He hems and haws, now titters, now looks grave!<br/>
Begins to speak and halts! takes off his eyes<br/>
To fall in contemplation on a chair,<br/>
A table, or the ceiling, wall, or floor!<br/>
I’ll plague him worse and worse! O, here he comes!</p>
<p>[Enter <span class="smcap">Wildrake</span>.]</p>
<p><i>Wild</i>. Despite her spiteful usage I’m resolved<br/>
To tell her now. Dear neighbour Constance!</p>
<p><i>Con</i>. Fool!<br/>
Accost me like a lady, sir! I hate<br/>
The name of neighbour!</p>
<p><i>Wild</i>. Mistress Constance, then—<br/>
I’ll call thee that.</p>
<p><i>Con</i>. Don’t call me anything!<br/>
I hate to hear thee speak—to look at thee,<br/>
To dwell in the same house with thee!</p>
<p><i>Wild</i>. In what<br/>
Have I offended?</p>
<p><i>Con</i>. What!—I hate an ape!</p>
<p><i>Wild</i>. An ape!</p>
<p><i>Con</i>. Who bade thee ape the gentleman?<br/>
And put on dress that don’t belong to thee?<br/>
Go! change thee with thy whipper-in or huntsman,<br/>
And none will doubt thou wearest thy own clothes.</p>
<p><i>Wild</i>. A pretty pass! Mocked for the very dress<br/>
I bought to pleasure her! Untoward things<br/>
Are women! [Aside. Walks backwards and forwards.]</p>
<p><i>Con</i>. Do you call that walking? Pray<br/>
What makes you twist your body so, and take<br/>
Such pains to turn your toes out? If you’d walk,<br/>
Walk thus! Walk like a man, as I do now!</p>
<p>[Walking]</p>
<p>Is yours the way a gentleman should walk?<br/>
You neither walk like man nor gentleman!<br/>
I’ll show you how you walk. [Mimicking him.]<br/>
Do you call that walking?</p>
<p><i>Wild</i>. My thanks, for a drill-sergeant twice a day<br/>
For her sake! [Aside.]</p>
<p><i>Con</i>. Now, of all things in the world,<br/>
What made you dance last night?</p>
<p><i>Wild</i>. What made me dance?</p>
<p><i>Con</i>. Right! It was anything but dancing!
Steps<br/>
That never came from dancing-school—nor English,<br/>
Nor Scotch, nor Irish! You must try to cut,<br/>
And how you did it! [Cuts.] That’s the way to cut!<br/>
And then your chassé! Thus you went, and thus.</p>
<p>[Mimicking him.]</p>
<p>As though you had been playing at hop, step,<br/>
And jump!—and yet you looked so monstrous pleased,<br/>
And played the simpleton with such a grace,<br/>
Taking their tittering for compliment!<br/>
I could have boxed you soundly for’t. Ten times<br/>
Denied I that I knew you.</p>
<p><i>Wild</i>. Twenty guineas<br/>
Were better in the gutter thrown than gone<br/>
To fee a dancing-master! [Aside.]</p>
<p><i>Con</i>. And you’re grown<br/>
An amateur in music!—What fine air<br/>
Was that you praised last night?—“The Widow Jones!”<br/>
A country jig they turned into a song.<br/>
You asked “If it had come from Italy?”<br/>
The lady blushed and held her peace, and then<br/>
You blushed and said, “Perhaps it came from France!”<br/>
And then when blushed the lady more, nor spoke,<br/>
You said, “At least it came from Germany!”<br/>
The air was English!—a true English air;<br/>
A downright English air!—a common air;<br/>
Old as “When Good King Arthur.” Not a square,<br/>
Court, alley, street, or lane about the town,<br/>
In which it is not whistled, played, or sung!<br/>
But you must have it come from Italy,<br/>
Or Germany, or France. Go home! Go home!<br/>
To Lincolnshire, and mind thy dog and horn!<br/>
You’ll never do for town! “The Widow Jones”<br/>
To come from Italy! Stay not in town,<br/>
Or you’ll be married to the Widow Jones,<br/>
Since you’ve forsworn, you say, the Widow Green!<br/>
And morn and night they’ll din your ears with her!<br/>
“Well met, dear Master Wildrake. A fine day!<br/>
Pray, can you tell whence came the Widow Jones?”<br/>
They love a jest in town! To Lincolnshire!<br/>
You’ll never do for town! To Lincolnshire;<br/>
“The Widow Jones” to come from Italy!</p>
<p>[Goes out.]</p>
<p><i>Wild</i>. Confound the Widow Jones! ’Tis
true! The air<br/>
Well as the huntsman’s triple mort I know,<br/>
But knew not then indeed, ’twas so disguised<br/>
With shakes and flourishes, outlandish things,<br/>
That mar, not grace, an honest English song!<br/>
Howe’er, the mischief’s done! and as for her,<br/>
She is either into hate or madness fallen.<br/>
If madness, would she had her wits again,<br/>
Or I my heart! If hate, my love’s undone;<br/>
I’ll give her up. I’ll e’en to Master Trueworth,<br/>
Confess my treason—own my punishment—<br/>
Take horse, and back again to Lincolnshire!</p>
<p>[Goes out.]</p>
<p><i>Con</i>. [Returning.] Not here! I trust I have not
gone too far!<br/>
If he should quit the house! Go out of town!<br/>
Poor neighbour Wildrake! Little does he owe me!<br/>
From childhood I’ve been used to plague him thus.<br/>
Why would he fall in love, and spoil it all!<br/>
I feel as I could cry! He has no right<br/>
To marry any one! What wants he with<br/>
A wife? Has he not plague enough in me?<br/>
Would he be plagued with anybody else?<br/>
Ever since I have lived in town I have felt<br/>
The want of neighbour Wildrake! Not a soul<br/>
Besides I care to quarrel with; and now<br/>
He goes and gives himself to another! What!<br/>
Am I in love with neighbour Wildrake? No.<br/>
I only would not have him marry—marry?<br/>
Sooner I’d have him dead than have him marry!</p>
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