<h3><SPAN name="CHAPTER_XXXVII" id="CHAPTER_XXXVII"></SPAN>CHAPTER XXXVII.</h3>
<p> </p>
<p>When Elinor received the official document which
had so extraordinary an effect upon her life, and overturned
in a moment all the fabric of domestic quiet
and security which she had been building up for years,
it was outside the tranquil walls of the house at Lakeside,
in the garden which lay between it and the high-road,
opening upon that not very much-frequented road
by a pair of somewhat imposing gates, which gave the
little establishment an air of more pretension than it
really possessed. Some fine trees shrouded the little
avenue, and Elinor was standing under one of them,
stooping over a little nest of primroses at its roots, from
which the yellow buds were peeping forth, when she
heard behind her the sound of a vehicle at the gates,
and the quick leap to the ground of someone who
opened them. Then there was a pause; the carriage,
whatever it was, did not come farther, and presently
she herself, a little curious, turned round to see a man
approaching her, whom she did not know. A dog-cart
driven by another, whose face she recognized, waited
in the road while the stranger came forward. "You
are Mrs. Compton, ma'am?" he said. A swift thrill of
alarm, she could scarcely tell why, ran over Elinor from
head to foot. She had been settled for nearly eighteen
years at Lakeside. What could happen to frighten her
now? but it tingled to her very fingers' ends. And
then he said something to her which she scarcely understood,
but which sent that tingle to her very heart
and brain, and gave her the suspicious looking blue
paper which he held in his hand. It all passed in a
moment of time to her dazed yet excited consciousness.
The early primrose which she had gathered had not
had time to droop in her grasp, though she crushed the
stalk unconsciously in her fingers, before the gates were
closed again, the sound of the departing wheels growing
faint on the road, and she herself standing like one
paralyzed with that thing in her hand. A subpœna!—what
was a subpœna? She knew as little, perhaps less,
than the children in the parish school, who began to
troop along the road in their resounding clogs at their
dinner hour. The sound of this awoke her a little to a
frightened sense that she had better put this document
out of sight, at least until she could manage to understand
it. And then she sped swiftly away past the
pretty white house lying in the sunshine, with all its
doors and windows open, to the little wood behind,
where it would be possible to think and find out at her
leisure what this was. It was a small wood and a public
path ran through it; but where the public was so
limited as at Lakeside this scarcely impaired the privacy
of the inhabitants, at least in the morning, when
everybody in the parish was at work. Elinor hurried
past the house that her mother might not see her, and
climbed the woody hillock to a spot which was peculiarly
her own, and where a seat had been placed for
her special use. It was a little mount of vision from
which she could look out, up and down, at the long
winding line of the lake cleaving the green slopes, and
away to the rugged and solemn peaks among which lay,
in his mountain fastnesses, Helvellyn, with his hoary
brethren crowding round him. Elinor had watched the
changes of many a north-country day, full of endless
vicissitudes, of flying clouds and gleams of sunshine,
from that seat, and had hoped and tried to believe that
nothing, save these vicissitudes of nature, would ever
again disturb her. Had she really believed that? Her
heart thumping against her breast, and the pulses of her
brain beating loud in her ears, answered "No." She
had never believed it—she had known, notwithstanding
all her obstinacy, and indignant opposition to all who
warned her, that some day or other her home must be
broken up, and the storm burst upon her. But even
such a conviction, desperately fought against and resisted,
is a very different matter from the awful sense
of certainty that it has come, <i>now</i><span class="norewrap">——</span></p>
<p>The trees were thick enough to conceal her from any
passer-by on the path, the young half-unfolded foliage
of the birches fluttered over her head, while a solid fir
or two stood, grim guardians, yet catching pathetic
airs from every passing wind to soothe her. But Elinor
neither heard nor saw lake, mountain, nor sunshine,
nor spring breezes, but only the bit of paper in
her hand, and the uncomprehended words she had
heard when it was given to her. It was not long, however,
before she perceived and knew exactly what it
meant. It was a subpœna in the case of "The Queen
<i>versus</i> Brown," to attend and give evidence on a certain
day in May, in London. It was for a few minutes a
mystery to her as great as it was alarming, notwithstanding
the swift and certain mental conviction she
had that it concerned infallibly the one secret and mystery
of her life. But as she sat there pondering, those
strange strays of recollection that come to the mind, of
things unnoted, yet unconsciously stored by memory,
drew gradually about her, piecing out the threads of
conviction. She remembered to have heard her mother
read, among the many scraps which Mrs. Dennistoun
loved to read out when the newspaper arrived, something
about a man who had absconded, whose name
was Brown, who had brought ruin on many, and had at
length, after a number of years, ventured back to England
and had been caught. It was one of the weaknesses
of Mrs. Dennistoun's advancing years to like
these bits of news, though there might be little interest
in them to so quiet a household; and her daughter
was wont to listen with a very vague attention, noting
but a word now and then, answering vaguely the lively
remarks her mother would make on the subjects. In
this case even she had paid no attention; and yet, the
moment that strong keynote had been struck, which vibrated
through her whole being, this echo suddenly
woke up and resounded as if it had been thundered in
her ears—"Brown!" She began to remember bit by
bit—and yet what had she to do with Brown? He had
not defrauded her; she had never seen him; she knew
nothing about his delinquencies. Then there came another
note faintly out of the distance of the years: her
husband's image, I need not say, had come suddenly
into her sight with the first burst of this new event.
His voice seemed to be in the air saying half-forgotten
things. What had he to do with this man? Oh, she
knew very well there was something—something!
which she would have given her life not to recollect;
which she knew in another moment would flash completely
upon her as she tried not to remember it. And
then suddenly her working mind caught another string
which was not that; which was a relief to that for
the moment. Brown!—who was it that had talked
of Brown?—and the books that were destroyed—and
the<span class="norewrap">——</span>and the<span class="norewrap">——</span>
day that Phil Compton arrived at
Windyhill?</p>
<p>Elinor rose up from her seat with a gasp. She put
her arm round the rough stem of the fir-tree to support
herself, but it shook with her though there was no
wind, only the softest of morning airs. She saw before
her a scene very different from this—the flowery garden
at the cottage with the copse and the sandy road
beyond, and the man whom Phil had expected, whom
he had been so anxious to see—and his fingers catching
hers, keeping her by him, and the questions to which
she had replied. Twenty years! What a long time it
is! time enough for a boy to grow into almost a man
who had not been born or thought of—and yet what a
moment, what a nothing! Her mind flashed from that
scene in the garden to the little hall in the cottage, the
maid stooping down fastening the bolt of the door, the
calendar hanging on the wall with the big 6 showing so
visible, so obtrusive, forcing itself as it were on the
notice of all. "Only ten days, Nell!" And the maid's
glance upwards of shy sympathy, and the blank of Mrs.
Dennistoun's face, and his look. Oh, that look of his!
which was true and yet so false; which meant so much
besides, and yet surely, surely meant love too!</p>
<p>The young fir-tree creaked and swayed in Elinor's
grip. She unloosed it as if the slim thing had cried
under the pressure, and sat down again. She had
nothing to grasp at, nothing. Oh, her life had not been
without support! Her mother—how extraordinary had
been her good fortune to have her mother to fall back
upon when she was shipwrecked in her life—to have a
home, a shelter, a perpetual protector and champion,
who, whether she approved or disapproved, would forsake
her never. And then the boy, God bless him!
who might quiver like the little fir if she flung herself
upon him, but who, she knew, would stand as true.
Oh, God forbid, God forbid that he should ever know!
Oh, God help her, God help her! how was she to keep
it from his knowledge? Elinor flung herself down upon
the mossy knoll in her despair as this came pouring into
her mind a flood of horrible light, of unimaginable
bitterness. He must not know, he must not know; and
yet how was it to be kept from his knowledge? It was
a public thing; it could not be hid. It would be in all
the papers, his father's name: and the boy did not
know he had a father living. And his mother's evidence
on behalf of her husband; and the boy thought
she had no husband.</p>
<p>This was what had been said to her again and again
and again. Sometime the boy must know—and she had
pushed it from her angrily, indignantly asking why
should he know? though in the bottom of her own
heart she too was aware that it was the delusion of a
fool, and that the time must come<span class="norewrap">——</span> But how could
she ever have thought that it would come like this, that
the boy would discover his father through the summons
of his mother to a public court to defend her husband
from a criminal accusation? Oh, life that pardons
nothing! Oh, severe, unchanging heaven!—that this
should be the way!</p>
<p>And then there came into Elinor's mind wild thoughts
of flight. She was not a woman whose nature it was
to endure. When things became intolerable to her
she fled from them, as the reader knows; escaped,
shutting her ears to all advice and her heart to all
thoughts except that life had become intolerable, and
that she could bear it no longer. It is not easy to hold
the balance even in such matters. Had Elinor fulfilled
what would appear to many her first duty, and stood by
Phil through neglect, ill-treatment, and misery, as she
had vowed, for better, for worse, she would by this
time have been not only a wretched but a deteriorated
woman, and her son most probably would have been
injured both in his moral and intellectual being. What
she had done was not the abstract duty of her marriage
vow, but it had been better—had it not been better
for them both? In such a question who is to be the
judge? And now again there came surging up into
Elinor's veins the impulse of flight. To take the boy
and fly. She could take him where he wished most to
go, to the scenes of that literature and history of which
his schoolboy head was full, to the happiest ideal wandering,
his mother and he, two companions almost better
than lovers. How his eyes would brighten at the
thought! among the summer seas, the golden islands,
the ideal countries—away from all the trouble and
cares, all the burdens of the past, all the fears of the
future! Why should she be held by that villainous
paper and obey that dreadful summons? Why allow
all her precautions, all the fabric of her life to fall in a
moment? Why pour upon the boy the horror of that
revelation, when everything she had done and planned
all his life had been to keep it from him? In the sudden
energy of that new possibility of escape Elinor rose
up again from the prostration of despair. She saw
once more the line of shining water at her feet full of
heavenly splendour, the mountain tops sunning themselves
in the morning light, the peace and the beauty
that was over all. And there was nothing needed but
a long journey, which would be delightful, full of pleasure
and refreshment, to secure her peace to her, and to
save her boy.</p>
<p>When she had calmed herself with this new project,
which, the moment it took form in her mind seemed of
itself, without reference to the cause, the most delightful
project in the world and full of pleasure—Elinor
smoothed back her hair, put her garden hat, which had
got a little out of order, straight, and took her way
again towards the house. Her heart had already escaped
from the shock and horror and was beating
softly, exhausted yet refreshed, in her bosom. She
felt almost like a child who had sobbed all its troubles
out, or like a convalescent recovering from a brief but
violent illness, and pathetically happy in the cessation
of pain. She went along quietly, slowly, by the woodland
path among the trees full of the sweetness of the
morning which seemed to have come back to her.
Should she say anything about it to her mother, or only
by degrees announce to her the plan she had begun to
form for Pippo's pleasure, the long delightful ramble
which would come between his school-time and the
university? She had almost decided that she would do
this when she went into the house; but she had not
been half an hour with her mother when her intention
became untenable, for the good reason that she had
already told Mrs. Dennistoun of the new incident.
They were not in the habit of keeping secrets from
each other, and in that case there is nothing in the
world so difficult. It requires training to keep one's
affairs to one's self in the constant presence of those
who are our nearest and dearest. Some people may be
capable of this effort of self-control, but Elinor was
not. She had showed that alarming paper to her
mother with a partial return of her own terror at the
sight of it before she knew. And I need not say that
for a short time Mrs. Dennistoun was overwhelmed by
that natural horror too.</p>
<p>"But," she said, "what do you know, what can you
tell about this Mr. Brown, Elinor? You never saw him
in your life."</p>
<p>"I think I know what it means," said Elinor, with a
sudden dark glow of colour, which faded instantly,
leaving her quite pale. She added hurriedly, "There
were some books destroyed. I cannot tell you the
rights of the story. It is too dreadful altogether, but—another
was exculpated by the date of the day he arrived
at Windyhill. This must be the reason I am
called."</p>
<p>"The date he arrived—before your marriage, Elinor?
But then they might call me, and you need not appear."</p>
<p>"Not for the world, mother!" cried Elinor. The
colour rose again and faded. "Besides, you do not remember."</p>
<p>"Oh, I could make it out," said Mrs. Dennistoun.
"It was when he came from Scotland, and went off in
the evening next day. I don't at this moment remember
what the day was, but I could make it out. It was
about a fortnight before, it was<span class="norewrap">——</span>"</p>
<p>"Do you remember, mother, the little calendar in
the hall, and what it marked, and what he said?"</p>
<p>"I remember, of course, perfectly well the little calendar
in the hall. You gave it me at Christmas, and it
was always out of order, and never kept right. But I
could make it out without that."</p>
<p>"You must not think of it for a moment," cried
Elinor, with a shudder. There had been so many
things to think of that it had scarcely occurred to her
what it was to which she had to bear witness. She
told her mother hurriedly the story of that incident,
and then she added, without stopping to take breath,
"But I will not appear. I cannot appear. We must
keep it out of the papers, at every cost. Mother, do
not think it dreadful of me. I will run away with
Pippo; far away, if you will not be anxious. This is
just his chance between school and college. I will take
him to Greece."</p>
<p>"To Greece, Elinor?" Mrs. Dennistoun cried, with
almost a shriek.</p>
<p>"Mother, dear, it is not so very far away."</p>
<p>"I am not thinking how far away it is, Elinor. And
leave his father's reputation to suffer? Leave him perhaps
to be ruined—by a false charge?"</p>
<p>"Oh, mother," cried Elinor, starting to her feet.
She was quite unprepared for such remonstrance.</p>
<p>"My dear, I have not opposed you; though there
have been many things I have scarcely approved of.
But, Elinor, this must not be. Run away from the
law? Allow another to suffer when you can clear him?
Elinor, Elinor, this must not be—unless I can go and
be his witness in your place. I might do that," said
Mrs. Dennistoun, seriously. She paused a moment,
and then she said, "But I think you are wrong about
the sixth. He stayed only one night, and the night he
went away was the night that Alick Hudson—who was
going up for his examination. I can make it out exactly,
if you will give me a little time to think it over.
My poor child! that you should have this to disturb
your peace. But I will go, Elinor. I can clear him as
well as you."</p>
<p>Elinor stood up before her, pallid as a ghost. "For
God's sake, mother, not another word," she said, with
a dreadful solemnity. "The burden is mine, and I
must bear it. Let us not say a word more."</p>
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