<h2><SPAN name="div1_11" href="#div1Ref_11">CHAPTER XI.</SPAN></h2>
<br/>
<p>We must change the scene for a while, not only to another part of the
county of Kent, but to very different people from the worthy Widow
Clare and the little party assembled at her cottage. We must pass over
the events of the night also, and of the following morning up to the
hour of nine, proposing shortly to return to Harbourne House, and
trace the course of those assembled there. The dwelling into which we
must now introduce the reader, was a large, old-fashioned Kentish
farm-house, not many miles on the Sussex side of Ashford. It was
built, as many of these farm-houses still are, in the form of a cross,
presenting four limbs of strongly constructed masonry, two stories
high, with latticed windows divided into three partitions, separated
by rather neatly cut divisions of stone. Externally it had a strong
Harry-the-Eighth look about it, and probably had been erected in his
day, or in that of one of his immediate successors, as the residence
of some of the smaller gentry of the time. At the period I speak of,
it was tenanted by a family notorious for their daring and licentious
life, and still renowned in county tradition for many a fierce and
lawless act. Nevertheless, the head of the house, now waxing somewhat
in years, carried on, not only ostensibly but really, the peaceable
occupation of a Kentish farmer. He had his cows and his cattle, and
his sheep and his pigs; he grew wheat and barley, and oats and
turnips; had a small portion of hop-ground, and brewed his own beer.
But this trade of farming was only a small part of his employment,
though, to say the truth, he had given himself up more to it since his
bodily powers had declined, and he was no longer able to bear the
fatigue and exertion which the great strength of his early years had
looked upon as sport. The branch of his business which he was most
fond of was now principally entrusted to his two sons; and two strong,
handsome daughters, which made the number of his family amount to
four, occasionally aided their brothers, dressed in men's clothes, and
mounted upon powerful horses, which they managed as well as any grooms
in the county.</p>
<p>The reader must not think that, in this description, we are exercising
indiscreetly our licence for dealing in fiction. We are painting a
true picture of the family of which we speak, as they lived and acted
some eighty or eighty-five years ago.</p>
<p>The wife of the farmer had been dead ten or twelve years; and her
children had done just what they liked ever since; but it must be
admitted, that, even if she had lived to superintend their education,
we have no reason to conclude their conduct would have been very
different from what it was. We have merely said that they had done as
they pleased ever since her death, because during her life she had
made them do as she pleased, and beat them, or, as she herself termed
it, "basted" them heartily, if they did not. She was quite capable of
doing so too, to her own perfect satisfaction, for probably few arms
in all Kent were furnished with more sinewy muscles or a stouter fist
than hers could boast. It was only upon minor points of difference,
however, that she and her children ever quarrelled; for of their
general course of conduct she approved most highly; and no one was
more ready to receive packets of lace, tea, or other goods under her
fostering care, or more apt and skilful in stopping a tub of spirits
from "talking," or of puzzling a Custom-House officer when force was
not at hand to resist him.</p>
<p>She was naturally of so strong a constitution, and so well built a
frame, that it is wonderful she died at all; but having caught cold
one night, poor thing!--it is supposed, in setting fire to a
neighbouring farm-house, the inmates of which were suspected of having
informed against her husband--her very strength and vigour gave a
tendency to inflammation, which speedily reduced her very low. A
surgeon, who visited the house in fear and trembling, bled her
largely, and forbade the use of all that class of liquids which she
was accustomed to imbibe in considerable quantities; and for three or
four days the fear of death made her follow his injunctions. But at
the end of that period, when the crisis of the disease was imminent,
finding herself no better, and very weak, she declared that the doctor
was a fool, and ought to have his head broken, and directed the maid
to bring her the big green bottle out of the corner cupboard. To this
she applied more than once, and then beginning to get a little
riotous, she sent for her family to witness how soon she had cured
herself. Sitting up in her bed, with a yellow dressing-gown over her
shoulders, and a gay cap overshadowing her burning face, she sung them
a song in praise of good liquor--somewhat panting for breath, it must
be owned--and then declaring that she was "devilish thirsty," which
was probably accurate to the letter, she poured out a large glass from
the big green bottle, which happened to be her bed-fellow for the
time, and raised it to her lips. Half the contents went down her
throat; but, how it happened I do not know, the rest was spilt upon
the bed clothes, and good Mrs. Ramley fell back in a doze, from which
nobody could rouse her. Before two hours were over she slept a still
sounder sleep, which required the undertaker to provide against its
permanence.</p>
<p>The bereaved widower comforted himself after a time. We will not say
how many hours it required to effect that process. He was not a
drunken man himself; for the passive participle of the verb to "drink"
was not often actually applicable to his condition. Nevertheless,
there was a great consumption of hollands in the house during the next
week; and, if it was a wet funeral that followed, it was not with
water, salt or fresh.</p>
<p>There are compensations for all things; and if Ramley had lost his
wife, and his children a mother, they all lost also a great number of
very good beatings, for, sad to say, he who could thrash all the
country round, submitted very often to be thrashed by his better half,
or at all events underwent the process of either having his head made
closely acquainted with a candlestick, or rendered the means of
breaking a platter. After that period the two boys grew up into as
fine, tall, handsome, dissolute blackguards as one could wish to look
upon; and for the two girls, no term perhaps can be found in the
classical authors of our language; but the vernacular supplies an
epithet particularly applicable, which we must venture to use. They
were two <i>strapping wenches</i>, nearly as tall as their brothers, full,
rounded, and well formed in person, fine and straight cut in features,
with large black shining eyes, a well-turned foot and ancle, and, as
was generally supposed, the invincible arm of their mother.</p>
<p>We are not here going to investigate or dwell upon the individual
morality of the two young ladies. It is generally said to have been
better in some respects than either their ordinary habits, their
education, or their language would have led one to expect; and,
perhaps being very full of the stronger passions, the softer ones had
no great dominion over them.</p>
<p>There, however, they sat at breakfast on the morning of which we have
spoken, in the kitchen of the farm-house, with their father seated at
the head of the table. He was still a great, tall, raw-boned man, with
a somewhat ogre-ish expression of countenance, and hair more white
than grey. But there were four other men at the table besides himself,
two being servants of the farm, and two acknowledged lovers of the
young ladies--very bold fellows as may well be supposed; for to marry
a she-lion or a demoiselle bear would have been a light undertaking
compared to wedding one of the Miss Ramleys. They seemed to be upon
very intimate terms with those fair personages, however, and perhaps
possessed as much of their affection as could possibly be obtained;
but still the love-making seemed rather of a feline character, for the
caresses, which were pretty prodigal, were mingled with--we must not
say interrupted by--a great deal of grumbling and growling, some
scratching, and more than one pat upon the side of the head, which did
not come with the gentleness of the western wind. The fare upon the
table consisted neither of tea, coffee, cocoa, nor any other kind of
weak beverage, but of beef and strong beer, a diet very harmonious
with the appearance of the persons who partook thereof. It was
seasoned occasionally with roars of laughter, gay and not very
delicate jests, various pieces of fun, which on more than one occasion
went to the very verge of an angry encounter, together with a good
many blasphemous oaths, and those testimonies of affection which I
have before spoken of as liberally bestowed by the young ladies upon
their lovers in the shape of cuffs and scratches. The principal topic
of conversation seemed to be some adventure which was even then going
forward, and in which the sons of the house were taking a part. No
fear, no anxiety, however, was expressed by any one, though they
wondered that Jim and Ned had not yet returned.</p>
<p>"If they don't come soon they won't get much beef, Tom, if you swallow
it at that rate," said the youngest Miss Ramley to her sweetheart;
"you've eaten two pounds already, I'm sure."</p>
<p>The young gentleman declared that it was all for love of her, but that
he hadn't eaten half so much as she had, whereupon the damsel became
wroth, and appealed to her father, who, for his part, vowed, that,
between them both, they had eaten and swilled enough to fill the big
hog-trough. The dispute might have run high, for Miss Ramley was not
inclined to submit to such observations, even from her father; but,
just as she was beginning in good set terms, which she had learnt from
himself, to condemn her parent's eyes, the old man started up,
exclaiming, "Hark! there's a shot out there!"</p>
<p>"To be sure," answered one of the lovers. "It's the first of
September, and all the people are out shooting."</p>
<p>Even while he was speaking, however, several more shots were heard,
apparently too many to proceed from sportsmen in search of game, and
the next moment the sound of horses' feet could be heard running quick
upon the road, and then turning into the yard which lay before the
house.</p>
<p>"There they are!--there they are!" cried half-a-dozen voices; and, all
rushing out at the front door, they found the two young men with
several companions, and four led horses, heavily laden. Jim, the elder
brother, with the assistance of one of those who accompanied him, was
busily engaged in shutting the two great wooden gates which had been
raised by old Ramley some time before--nobody could tell why--in place
of a five-barred gate, which, with the tall stone wall, formerly shut
out the yard from the road. The other brother, Edward, or Ned Ramley,
as he was called, stood by the side of his horse, holding his head
down over a puddle; and, for a moment, no one could make out what he
was about. On his sister Jane approaching him, however, she perceived
a drop of blood falling every second into the dirty water below, and
exclaimed, "How hast thou broken thy noddle, Ned?"</p>
<p>"There, let me alone, Jinny," cried the young man, shaking off the
hand she had laid upon his arm, "or I shall bloody my toggery. One of
those fellows has nearly cracked my skull, that's all; and he'd have
done it, too, if he had but been a bit nearer. This brute shied just
as I was firing my pistol at him, or he'd never have got within arm's
length. It's nothing--it's but a scratch.--Get the goods away; for
they'll be after us quick enough. They are chasing the major and his
people, and that's the way we got off."</p>
<p>One of the usual stories of the day was then told by the rest--of how
a cargo had been run the night before, and got safe up into the
country: how, when they thought all danger over, they had passed
before old Bob Croyland's windows, and how Jim had given him a shot as
he stood at one of them; and then they went on to say that, whether it
was the noise of the gun, or that the old man had sent out to call the
officers upon them, they could not tell; but about three miles further
on, they saw a largish party of horse upon their right. Flight had
then become the order of the day; but, finding that they could not
effect it in one body, they were just upon the point of separating,
Ned Ramley declared, when two of the riding officers overtook them,
supported by a number of dragoons. Some firing took place, without
much damage, and, dividing into three bodies, the smugglers scampered
off, the Ramleys and their friends taking their way towards their own
house, and the others in different directions. The former might have
escaped unpursued, it would seem, had not the younger brother, Ned,
determined to give one of the dragoons a shot before he went: thus
bringing on the encounter in which he had received the wound on his
head.</p>
<p>While all this was being told to the father, the two girls, their
lovers, the farm-servants, and several of the men, hurried the
smuggled goods into the house, and raising a trap in the floor of the
kitchen--contrived in such a manner that four whole boards moved up at
once on the western side of the room--stowed the different articles
away in places of concealment below, so well arranged, that even if
the trap was discovered, the officers would find nothing but a vacant
space, unless they examined the walls very closely.</p>
<p>The horses were then all led to the stable; and Edward Ramley, having
in some degree stopped the bleeding of his wound, moved into the
house, with most of the other men. Old Ramley and the two
farm-servants, however, remained without, occupying themselves in
loading a cart with manure, till the sound of horses galloping down
was heard, and somebody shook the gates violently, calling loudly to
those within to open "in the King's name."</p>
<p>The farmer instantly mounted upon the cart, and looked over the wall;
but the party before the gates consisted only of five or six dragoons,
of whom he demanded, in a bold tone, "Who the devil be you, that I
should open for you? Go away, go away, and leave a quiet man at
peace!"</p>
<p>"If you don't open the gates, we'll break them down," said one of the
men.</p>
<p>"Do, if you dare," answered old Ramley, boldly; "and if you do, I'll
shoot the best of you dead.--Bring me my gun, Tom.--Where's your
warrant, young man? You are not an officer, and you've got none with
you, so I shan't let any boiled lobsters enter my yard, I can tell
you."</p>
<p>By this time he was provided with the weapon he had sent for; and one
of his men, similarly armed, had got into the cart beside him. The
appearance of resistance was rather ominous, and the dragoons were
well aware that if they did succeed in forcing an entrance, and blood
were spilt, the whole responsibility would rest upon themselves, if no
smuggled goods should be found, as they had neither warrant nor any
officer of the Customs with them.</p>
<p>After a short consultation, then, he who had spoken before, called to
old Ramley, saying, "We'll soon bring a warrant. Then look to
yourself;" and, thus speaking, he rode off with his party. Old Ramley
only laughed, however, and turned back into the house, where he made
the party merry at the expense of the dragoons. All the men who had
been out upon the expedition were now seated at the table, dividing
the beef and bread amongst them, and taking hearty draughts from the
tankard. Not the least zealous in this occupation was Edward Ramley,
who seemed to consider the deep gash upon his brow as a mere scratch,
not worth talking about. He laughed and jested with the rest; and when
they had demolished all that the board displayed, he turned to his
father, saying, not in the most reverent tone, "Come, old fellow,
after bringing our venture home safe, I think you ought to send round
the true stuff: we've had beer enough. Let's have some of the
Dutchman."</p>
<p>"That you shall, Neddy, my boy," answered the farmer, "only I wish you
had shot that rascal you fired at. However, one can't always have a
steady aim, especially with a fidgetty brute like that you ride;" and
away he went to bring the hollands, which soon circulated very freely
amongst the party, producing, in its course, various degrees of mirth
and joviality, which speedily deviated into song. Some of the ditties
that were sung were good, and some of them very bad; but almost all
were coarse, and the one that was least so was the following:--</p>
<div class="poem1">
<br/>
<p class="t16"><b>SONG.</b></p>
<br/>
<p class="i6">"It's wonderful, it's wonderful, is famous London town,</p>
<p class="t12">With its alleys<br/>
And its valleys,</p>
<p class="t10">And its houses up and down;</p>
<p class="t0" style="margin-left:3em; text-indent:-3em">But I would give fair London town, its court, and all its
people,</p>
<p class="t0" style="margin-left:3em; text-indent:-3em">For the little town of Biddenden, with the moon above
the steeple.</p>
<br/>
<p class="i6">"It's wonderful, it's wonderful, to see what pretty faces</p>
<p class="t12">In London streets<br/>
A person meets</p>
<p class="t10">In very funny places;</p>
<p class="t0" style="margin-left:3em; text-indent:-3em">But I wouldn't give for all the eyes in London town one sees,</p>
<p class="t0" style="margin-left:3em; text-indent:-3em">A pair, that by the moonlight, looks out beneath the trees.</p>
<br/>
<p class="i6">"It's wonderful, in London town, how soon a man may hold,</p>
<p class="t12">By art and sleight,<br/>
Or main and might,</p>
<p class="t10">A pretty sum of gold;</p>
<p class="t0" style="margin-left:3em; text-indent:-3em">Yet give me but a pistol, and one rich squire or two,</p>
<p class="t0" style="margin-left:3em; text-indent:-3em">A moonlight night, a yellow chaise, and the high road will do."</p>
</div>
<p>This was not the last song that was sung; but that which followed was
interrupted by one of the pseudo-labourers coming in from the yard, to
say that there was a hard knocking at the gate.</p>
<p>"I think it is Mr. Radford's voice," added the man, "but I'm not sure;
and I did not like to get up into the cart to look."</p>
<p>"Run up stairs to the window, Jinny!" cried old Ramley, "and you'll
soon see."</p>
<p>His daughter did, on this occasion, as she was bid, and soon called
down from above, "It's old Radford, sure enough; but he's got two men
with him!"</p>
<p>"It's all right, if he's there," said Jim Ramley; and the gates were
opened in a minute, to give that excellent gentleman admission.</p>
<p>Now, Mr. Radford, it must be remembered, was a magistrate for the
county of Kent; but his presence created neither alarm nor confusion
in the house of the Ramleys; and when he entered, leaving his men in
the court for a minute, he said, with a laugh, holding the father of
that hopeful family by the arm, "I've come to search, and to stop the
others. Where are the goods?"</p>
<p>"Safe enough," answered the farmer. "No fear--no fear!"</p>
<p>"But can we look under the trap?" asked Mr. Radford, who seemed as
well acquainted with the secrets of the place as the owner thereof.</p>
<p>"Ay, ay!" replied the old man. "Don't leave 'em too long--that's all."</p>
<p>"I'll go down myself," said Radford; "they've got scent of it, or I
wouldn't find it out."</p>
<p>"All right--all right!" rejoined the other, in a low voice; and the
magistrate, raising his tone, exclaimed, "Here, Clinch and Adams--you
two fools! why don't you come in? They say there is nothing here; but
we must search. We must not take any man's word; not to say that I
doubt yours, Mr. Ramley; but it is necessary, you know."</p>
<p>"Oh, do what you like, sir," replied the farmer. "I don't care!"</p>
<p>A very respectable search was then commenced, and pursued from room to
room--one of the men who accompanied Mr. Radford, and who was an
officer of the Customs, giving old Ramley a significant wink with his
right eye as he passed, at which the other grinned. Indeed, had the
whole matter not been very well understood between the great majority
of both parties, it would have been no very pleasant or secure task
for any three men in England to enter the kitchen of that farm-house
on such an errand. At length, however, Mr. Radford and his companions
returned to the kitchen, and the magistrate thought fit to walk
somewhat out of his way towards the left-hand side of the room, when
suddenly stopping, he exclaimed, in a grave tone, "Hallo! Ramley,
what's here? These boards seem loose!"</p>
<p>"To be sure they are," answered the farmer; "that's the way to the old
beer cellar. But there's nothing in it, upon my honour!"</p>
<p>"But we must look, Ramley, you know," said Mr. Radford. "Come, open
it, whatever it is!</p>
<p>"Oh, with all my heart," replied the man; "but you'll perhaps break
your head. That's your fault, not mine, however,"--and, advancing to
the side of the room, he took a crooked bit of iron from his
pocket--not unlike that used for pulling stones out of a horse's
hoofs--and insinuating it between the skirting-board and the floor,
soon raised the trap-door of which we have spoken before.</p>
<p>A vault of about nine feet deep was now exposed, with the top of a
ladder leading into it; and Mr. Radford ordered the men who were with
him to go down first. The one who had given old Ramley the wink in
passing, descended without ceremony; but the other, who was also an
officer, hesitated for a moment.</p>
<p>"Go down--go down, Clinch!" said Mr. Radford. "You <i>would</i> have a
search, and so you shall do it thoroughly."</p>
<p>The man obeyed, and the magistrate paused a moment to speak with the
smuggling farmer, saying, in a low voice, "I don't mind their knowing
I'm your friend, Ramley. Let them think about that as they like.
Indeed, I'd rather that they did see we understand each other; so give
me a hint if they go too far; I'll bear it out."</p>
<p>Thus saying, he descended into the cellar, and old Ramley stood gazing
down upon the three from above, with his gaunt figure bending over the
trap-door. At the end of a minute or two he called down, "There--that
ought to do, I'm sure! We can't be kept bothering here all day!"</p>
<p>Something was said in a low tone by one of the men below; but then the
voice of Mr. Radford was heard, exclaiming, "No, no; that will do!
We've had enough of it! Go up, I say! There's no use of irritating
people by unreasonable suspicions, Mr. Clinch. Is it not quite enough,
Adams? Are you satisfied!"</p>
<p>"Oh! quite, sir," answered the other officer; "there's nothing but bare
walls and an empty beer barrel."</p>
<p>The next moment the party began to reappear from the trap, the officer
Clinch coming up first, with a grave look, and Mr. Radford and the
other following, with a smile upon their faces.</p>
<p>"There, all is clear enough," said Mr. Radford; "so you, gentlemen,
can go and pursue your search elsewhere. I must remain here to wait
for my son, whom I sent for to join me with the servants, as you know;
not that I feared any resistance from you, Mr. Ramley; but smuggling
is so sadly prevalent now-a-days, that one must be on one's guard, you
know."</p>
<p>A horse laugh burst from the whole party round the table; and in the
midst of it the two officers retired into the yard, where, mounting
their horses, they opened the gates and rode away.</p>
<p>As soon as they were gone, Mr. Radford shook old Ramley familiarly by
the hand, exclaiming, "This is the luckiest thing in the world, my
good fellow! If I can but get them to accuse me of conniving at this
job, it will be a piece of good fortune which does not often happen to
a man."</p>
<p>Ramley, as well he might, looked a little confounded; but Mr. Radford
drew him aside, and spoke to him for a quarter of an hour, in a voice
raised hardly above a whisper. Numerous laughs, and nods, and signs of
mutual understanding passed between them; and the conversation ended
by Mr. Radford saying, aloud, "I wonder what can keep Dick so long; he
ought to have been here before now! I sent over to him at eight; and
it is past eleven."</p>
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