<h2> CHAPTER IV <br/> <span class="s08">Lisbon to Madeira</span> </h2>
<p>Our stay in Lisbon was prolonged by reason of the
engine-room defects. No wonder the engines had
knocked; the shaft was found to be badly out of alignment.
As a natural consequence the bearings heated,
and this, coupled with the fact that the high-pressure
connecting-rod was bent, accounted for all our woes.
The work of repair was set in hand at once, and our
people began to readjust the ship’s stores in order to
make her more weatherly, having learnt much during
the passage out across the Bay.</p>
<p>Certain alterations in the ship’s rig were also put in
hand; but as all work and no play makes Jack but a dull
boy, in the afternoon of this first real day in Lisbon
certain of us went ashore to see the sights, including a
bull-fight. We forgathered at a café, and from there
were motored to the bull-ring. Looking back on the
past, I have come to the conclusion that I would sooner
go ten times to the Antarctic than take one motor ride in
Lisbon. Their motor-drivers seem to run mad immediately
the engines begin to revolve. In Lisbon, so far
as I could see, there is neither rule of the road nor speed
limit. The streets are blocked, for the best part, by
slow-moving bullock-carts, three, four and even five
abreast. Through this welter of sluggish traffic the cars
charge like six-inch shells; and if the road isn’t wide
enough they use the pavement. Our driver performed
motoring miracles, and I firmly believe that if the pavements
had not helped him he would have climbed the
sides of the buildings along the way. You’d think it
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was easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a
needle than for a high-powered motor to navigate the
streets of Lisbon, but our driver did it without turning a
hair, and deserved a V.C. every minute of the time he
was driving. Of course, accidents happen, and the tale
of dead dogs must be enormous. If our driver so much
as saw a dog he let out a yell and charged straight for
it, and lucky was that dog if it escaped. As for the
ordinary, unconsidered pedestrian, he never troubles to
look round when a motor-horn blows—he just jumps for
it; up a convenient lamp-post if necessary, and then
shouts thankfulness to all the saints for safe delivery
from the perils of the streets.</p>
<p>A Portuguese bull-fight is not quite so bloodthirsty
as those held in the neighbouring land of Spain. In
Spain the main idea is to get the bull killed, after suitable
tortures have been inflicted; in Portugal the bull’s
horns are padded thickly at the tips, and the principal
scheme seems to be to show the agility of the bullfighters.</p>
<p>As soon as the bull, always a magnificent animal,
is admitted into the ring he is annoyed and excited by
the waving of gaudily-coloured cloaks and flags. Being
only a bull and not a philosopher, he naturally gets
angry and promptly puts his head down and goes for his
tormentors, who, after risking as much as they dare,
leap over the barricades into safety. These cloak-wavers
are merely pawns in the game; for all the time they are
busy the genuine hero of the hour is in the ring, either
afoot or on horseback, showing himself off to an admiring
audience. A successful bull-fighter on the Tagus is
a very much more important personage than the captain
of a Cup Final team or a hero who has knocked up a
couple of centuries in a county cricket match.</p>
<p>Presently the bull gets angrier—very angry indeed.
His bovine nature impels him to cast about for something
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on which to wreak his spite. I don’t blame the
bull. Even a Scout would be annoyed if a crowd of
yelling idiots waved coloured blankets in his face for
half an hour at a stretch! Seeing the idol of the audience
proudly prancing about, the bull quite naturally
lowers his head and goes for him. Here’s where the
sport begins. The bull-fighter, with a twirl of his
moustache and a sort of hand-kiss to the ladies, promptly
retreats and turns, and as the bull slithers past he plants
a dart in his hide. It is a sign of skill and daring to get
that dart as near the animal’s head as possible. As soon
as it is embedded in the skin the bull-fighter, in case
anyone didn’t see him, unfurls a paper flag and waves
it exultantly in the air. Then the people cheer and the
ladies kiss their hands, and the temporary hero bows
and smiles and pretends that he is the identical man who
won the Great War. Then he goes to get another dart; a
shorter one this time. The shorter the dart you plant in
the unfortunate bull’s neck the greater the glory that
comes your way, it seems. True enough, it is a sign of
agility and courage, even though the bull’s horns are
padded; and to hear the spectators cheer you’d think it
was what the Americans call “the cat’s pyjamas.” To
my way of thinking, though, football is streets ahead
of bull-fighting for downright thrills.</p>
<p>If the toreador happens to be dismounted, he is given
even shorter darts than if he were mounted. The footman’s
weapons carry no paper flags, and he usually
sticks them in two at a time, because he’s only got two
hands, I suppose. It must require a bit of nerve to do
it, even though it doesn’t quite come up to a Britisher’s
idea of sport. The bull charges like an avalanche, and I
fancy, from the ring, must look about as big as a landslide.
He looked gigantic from where we sat, with the
wine sellers offering us heady Portuguese drinks every
time we breathed; and to the toreador that bull must
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have seemed as enormous as the P. and O. boat did
to the little <i>Quest</i> outside the Tagus. I held my
breath more than once during those charges, I assure
you, for I was certain the bull-fighter was going to be
smashed to smithereens; but just at the critical moment
the man stepped aside, took a short run, plunged in his
two darts fairly into the back of the animal’s neck, and
got clear before he bellowed and turned. Yes, it was
very dexterous indeed; but it didn’t please the bull. He
swung about, scuffling the sand and roaring, and the
toreador streaked for the barricade like greased
lightning.</p>
<p>Another took his place and did the same thing.
Instead of trying to knock up a century in Portugal
you try to plant a dart shorter than any other dart in
the back of a mad bull’s neck! And you go on doing
it until the bull begins to look like an animated pincushion.
If Stephenson’s first locomotive was “bad
for the coo,” bull-fighting must be very bad for the
bull!</p>
<p>Folks tire of this exhibition, so presently a whole
crowd of funny-looking fellows in red and yellow are
let into the ring. One of these steps forward as if
he intended to be properly introduced to the bull;
whereupon the bull promptly goes for him, because
he thinks he’s responsible for the pain he is suffering.
But the man of the moment leaps fairly between the
lowered horns, gets one of them under each armpit,
and then starts a wrestling match with his four-footed
opponent. His object is to throw the bull, and to
do so requires more skill than most of them possess.
There’s the indignant bovine doing its best to throw
the man off and stamp him or gore him to death; there’s
the red-faced man working as hard as you like to
pitch the bull over on his side. It seemed rather a waste
of energy to me, but it is the national sport down
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there, and we Britons must live and let live. Anyhow,
this wrestling was uncommonly exciting. It would
have been even more so if the bull’s horns hadn’t been
padded.</p>
<p>Not that the sport is as bloodthirsty as might appear
from the foregoing description. The darts which are
employed have only very tiny barbs, not much bigger
than fish-hooks, intended merely to pierce the skin
and not draw blood. And the bull is not killed, as
I’ve said; it is simply baited. All the same, my sympathies
were with the bulls all along. Get about fifty
fish-hooks stuck through your skin and you’ll understand
what I mean.</p>
<p>Those of our party who had seen genuine Spanish
bull-fights, where the bull’s horns are not padded, said
this show was only a mild imitation of the real thing.
In Spain the horses—shocking screws, taken out of the
trams after they’re used up—are gored savagely, and
when they scream with pain they are spurred and lifted
clean on to the murderous horns for another dose of the
same medicine. Sometimes even the toreadors and
matadors and picadors get gored in their turn. I won’t
say “Serve them right,” but it’s my own affair what I
think.</p>
<p>We <i>Quests</i> kept our end up so far as cheering
was concerned. Whenever anything really exciting
occurred we got up and yelled our famous war-cry of
“Yoicks! Tally-ho!” which naturally aroused interest
and amusement amongst the general run of the spectators,
who got to their feet and cheered back at us
very heartily, and no doubt described us to their friends
at a later hour as “Those mad English!” This bull-fight
was particularly honoured by the presence of the
President of Portugal. I’ll say it was an unusual day,
very different from an average day in England!</p>
<p>Naturally enough, during our stay in Portugal we
<span class='pagenum'><SPAN id='Page_38' name='Page_38' href='#Page_38'>38</SPAN></span>
were swarmed with visitors. The British and American
Ministers were shown over the <i>Quest</i> by our leader.
Like the sight-seers in London and Plymouth, these
visitors seemed to imagine we had joined a sort of
suicide club; they were astonished at the tiny proportions
of the ship and expressed grave doubts as to
her future safety.</p>
<p>The day after the bull-fight was nothing out of the
common. I was detailed for galley duty with the cook,
who was now revelling in still waters, a stove that would
burn, and grub that a man could take a pride in cooking.
In the evening I went ashore with some Portuguese
Scouts, who insisted on giving Mooney and
myself a truly top-hole welcome. That’s what Scouting
does—it makes you firm friends wherever you go. But
being a Scout, and especially a kilted Scout, makes you
a bit too conspicuous, so I shed my uniform whenever
possible and tried to pass along with the crowd. All
the same, the Lisbon Scouts were good pals and showed
us all the sights of the place. In return we showed them
the sights of the <i>Quest</i> and got the debt squared in some
measure. They were keenly interested, and there were
so many of them that we could have filled in all our
time in explaining things to them in such language as
Scouts can understand.</p>
<p>The ship during these days was a hive of activity,
for the repairing gangs were extremely hard at work
straightening the shaft and refitting generally.</p>
<p>There was so much to be done by all hands that
time went by very quickly during this halt on our
voyage, but beyond bull-fighting and sight-seeing there
was nothing extraordinary to recount. I missed the trip
to Cintra, being busily engaged in work, but those
who went told me the view from the Pena Palace was
rather gorgeous. Everything is left exactly as it was
when ex-King Manoel had to seek fresh pastures; even
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the papers of that day are still lying on the tables; and
the view from the palace top is superb. You can see
all Portugal lying as a map at your feet, they said.
But the horses that tug you up the final steep of the
mountain make you gnash your teeth with sympathetic
rage, they are so overdriven and half-starved and
brutally ill-treated. It’s queer how few people beyond
Britishers know how to treat a horse!</p>
<p>On Monday, the 10th of October, we left our berth,
repairs having been completed, and made fast to a
buoy in the stream. Here we restocked our tanks with
fresh water, and made such final preparations as were
necessary for a continuation of the voyage; and after
all hands were well worked up we had another cinema
show in the evening, and then turned in for the last
long night’s sleep for a little while. Just after lunch
on the 11th we left Lisbon.</p>
<p>I’d prided myself on overcoming the woes of seasickness
before we reached the Tagus, but, alas! I
boasted too soon. Once outside the river we hit up
against a nasty kind of a sea, worse than anything
we’d hitherto experienced, I think; so the old familiar
qualms possessed me more vindictively than ever. But
I had the poor satisfaction of knowing that others were
in as bad case as myself, for very few of the crew
escaped on this occasion. They blamed the smallness
of the ship and her pronounced lack of comfortable
accommodation. Maybe it was so. I wasn’t in a mood
to argue, anyhow. So ill were Mooney and Mason that
Sir Ernest Shackleton reluctantly decided that, failing
an improvement, they would have to leave the ship
at Madeira. So far as I was concerned, I think the
Boss was quietly giving me a thorough “trying-out”
to see if I could endure the still greater rigours that
were promised us farther south; for I was set to work
very hard—with the cook, stowing stores, in the stokehold,
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everywhere. It wasn’t pleasant, but I wasn’t
going to let the Scouts down if I could help it, so I
gritted my teeth and went at it for all I was worth.
Praise was not too lavishly bestowed by Sir Ernest
Shackleton, because his own standard of efficiency was
so high that a man had to be pretty good even to be
tolerated; but as he seemed pleased with the way I was
carrying on I was satisfied.</p>
<p>There’s one thing about the sea, I find—it either
makes you or breaks you. You get salted through and
through, and in some cases it toughens you, whilst in
others it rots all your pluck away and makes you feel
you’d like to live in the very middle of the Sahara
desert and never see salt water again in your life.</p>
<p>But during the passage from Lisbon to Madeira I
didn’t feel like keeping a very exhaustive diary. Anyhow,
there was nothing exciting to recount, for the
weather wasn’t alarmingly bad; it was only the vicious
run of the seas that made the little vessel so lively.</p>
<p>On the 15th, however, we had a reward in a
brilliantly fine day, with smooth water and not much
wind, and this brightened the spirits of all aboard,
though Mooney and Mason still continued under the
weather and longed for the peace of dry land.</p>
<p>Notwithstanding the exhaustive overhaul we’d been
given at Lisbon, the engines developed trouble once
more; the knocking began again, and it seemed as
though the days spent in Portugal were completely
wasted. Madeira promised to be another welter of
refitting.</p>
<p>During this stage of the voyage Major Carr and
Captain Hussey started in with meteorological experiments,
sending up kites and balloons for observations
of the upper air for the first time.</p>
<p>When I came on deck on the morning of Sunday,
October 16, I got my first sight of Madeira, and that
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glimpse of beauty seemed to atone for all previous discomforts.
Madeira is a beautiful island, with its rich
vineyards, its noble gorge of the Wolf that literally
splits the island in two halves; its typical semi-tropical
houses, with red roofs and blue or white walls and
vividly painted shutters to keep out the fierce noontide
heat. The clarity of the atmosphere is so remarkable
here—indeed, I believe it is the clearest in the world—that
you feel you could toss a biscuit ashore even when
you are miles away. We came to anchor in Funchal
Harbour, about a hundred yards from the shore, and
breathed deep sighs of relief as the fretful motion of
the <i>Quest</i> ceased and she lay once more upon an even
keel. We promptly went overboard for a bathe in that
amazingly clear water.</p>
<p>The day after our arrival Mooney and Mr. Mason
left the <i>Quest</i> for home. I know it was with the greatest
reluctance that Sir Ernest parted from them; but both
had been very ill during the entire trip, and Mr. Mason
had, indeed, been seriously ill, developing a high temperature
and alarming symptoms. Both were loth to
go; their natural grit prompted them to remain and stick
it out to the bitter end. They made no unseemly fuss
about their tribulations; but things promised to be worse
rather than better as the voyage progressed, and it was
in their own interests that they were relieved from further
suffering. I know how elated I felt that I’d been better
favoured by fortune, so I think I know how depressed
they must have been. Poor Mooney was a full-sized
brick throughout; he showed all the best characteristics
of the best sort of Scout, and there was not the slightest
fault attaching to him in his inability to endure the
rigours. But knowing that the whole weight of Scout
responsibility rested on my shoulders was rather a
startling realization. Still, I was managing to get
hardened by this time, and I hoped for the best.
<span class='pagenum'><SPAN id='Page_42' name='Page_42' href='#Page_42'>42</SPAN></span></p>
<p>This afternoon the cook and myself went ashore, on
shopping bent. Our principal desire was to find fruit,
which shouldn’t have been a difficult matter in an island
famous for its fruits; but somehow we contrived to lose
our bearings and wandered into the filthiest parts of the
town—and Funchal can be very filthy in places. We
managed to count at least one hundred and thirty-five
different smells—Green said there were two hundred and
fifty, but perhaps he exaggerated—but all were vile.
Every alley corner we passed, every open window, discharged
its fresh offensive; and we seemed to walk for
miles and uncounted miles before eventually we touched
down in the market. There we ordered what we needed,
and afterwards went on to see the sights.</p>
<p>Madeira is interesting. Its foreign note is very
marked, for here the foliage is definitely approaching
the tropical; hibiscus flowers are everywhere in the
greatest profusion, and the vivid crimson poinsettias
strike a warm and enlivening note. Huge clusters of
wonderful blooms met our gaze at every turn, and drew
our attention from the little cobblestones of the streets,
which are uncommonly hard to walk upon.</p>
<p>There were not very many wheeled conveyances
visible, for the island doesn’t lend itself to them overmuch;
the few motors we saw were ancient and honourable
members of the fraternity. The principal means
of conveyance are the bullock-cars—wooden sledges,
drawn by bulls, fine, big, sleek animals, though very
leisurely in all their movements. One sees these cars
going everywhere about the streets on well-greased
runners. Some of the cars are very tastefully got up
and drawn by bullocks as white as snow; and the motion
when one gets inside is far from unpleasant. Of course,
the streets are so rutted and worn in Funchal that ordinary
wheels would soon come to grief; but the long
sledge-runners sort of bridge the worst of the holes, as a
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big liner crosses from wave-crest to wave-crest without
diving too deeply into the troughs, and consequently
you don’t realize how ill-kept the roads really are.</p>
<p>As practically all Funchal is built on the side of a
hill, you may be sure the streets are steep. We didn’t
try to climb them unnecessarily, but contented ourselves
with standing at the bottom and looking up, a much
more restful occupation than working to the top and
looking down. Then we had tea, where they apologized
for a little meal with a big, an astoundingly big, bill.
Still, although the little cakes they gave us were evidently
relics of the ancient Portuguese travellers, the tea
was wet and damped the dry, sawdust-like confectionery
excellently.</p>
<p>A lot of sugar-cane grows in Madeira, and the sight
of the groves is very pleasant. And all amongst the soft
green of the young canes you see those marvellous
splashes of colour from the poinsettias and the hibiscus,
so that your brain, refusing to take in the full effect,
perceives only a blur. They told us that the roads and
paths between the groves were constructed by Portuguese
convicts, and we believed them. Honest men
could never have made such fiendish roads!</p>
<p>In the evening we were invited as guests to the mess
of the Western Telegraph Company, who have a cable
station here and who publish the only newspaper in
English on the island. Our hosts were very cordial and
did us nobly; they apologized for the general atmosphere
of poverty that characterizes the island by saying
that the Lisbon Government taxes everyone so heavily
for Portugal’s good, that when the taxes are paid there’s
nothing left for home improvements.</p>
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